Authors Note:

I have been looking at some of these fanfics and I'm kinda disgusted. You see Shikamaru is a lazy bastard and Temari is a grumpy (kinda whorish) lady and IF they ever did have sex, then do you really think he would be the aggressive one? Ok here's what would really happen. (really short story)

Temari gave Shikamaru that evil look that always made him think that his life was about 10 seconds from being over.

"Drop um" Temari growled.

God, how troublesome thought Shikamaru.

"NOW" Temari said. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and dropped his jeans. Temari had already removed her kimono and was pushing Shikamaru down on the bed and straddling him. Shikamaru braced himself for the inevitable.

I just know she is going to make me do the work thought an exasperated Shikamaru reaching for the remote to the TV. May as well do something productive (not that way to all you sick fucks out there). The TV was turned to the weather channel and Shikamaru kept trying to get his head in a position in which he could see the TV better.

"Get OFF!" Shikamaru said in his usual drawl "Move I want to watch this!". Unfortunately for Shikamaru Temari expecting something like this had brought her giant fan with her. She now proceeded to give Shikamaru the bonking of a life time. He just stopped fighting it eventually. And it turned out he was right she wanted him to do all the work after a little.

Man how troublesome, this might even be fun if she would do some of the damn work thought Shikamaru just going through the movements by now. After awhile Temari said she was tired. Thankfully she didn't notice that he was already half asleep having finished a short time ago.

Authors Note: And thus all of you see that the sex life of Shikamaru and Temari would be not quite as romantic as everybody on here seems to think and personally I prefer this version as it fits in with his character better. It doesn't matter that much but still I prefer to think that Shikamaru is one of the few people that would remain bored even doing a chick (including Temari) Now some of you out there are probably thinking that I've been implying that Shikamaru is gay. Not at all (sorry fan girls) I think he is very straight its just that (while he dose need a woman like Temari to challenge him, you know get his intrest going) he simply dose not have the energy to be a romantic. So please I don't assume to complain about your writing but please next time you write a Shikamaru fanfics take his character into account.

TY

The Jester666