TITLE: "All That I Got" (song by Fergie)
MAIN CHARACTERS: Jackie Burkhart, Steven Hyde…for now.
RATED: T or PG-13 (language)
SUMMARY: Alright, so this is post-season 8. A lot is happening now. In the first chapter Jackie is getting ready to start her new life…but outside of Point Place.
NOTE: I've been wanting to write this for a while, but haven't had the energy to cuz this story is gonna take a lot out of me. Mostly because it's pretty intense between Jackie and Hyde. This first chapter is one of the main intense scenes in the story and took a LONG while to get it right. Also, ALL of the chapters will be titles to songs (from 70s, 80s, 90s, and now). Most are actually Country songs cuz I think the lyrics to Country songs are a lot more intense--especially Rascal Flatts ones.
SUGGESTION: Read the lyrics to the song AFTER the chapter, cuz I'm trying to make it be that the whole song covers the whole chapter. It just gives it a better understanding. Also, if you guys have any suggestions for songs that are perfect for Jackie, Hyde, or JH PLEASE send me a message!!! I'm planning on writing over 20 chapters, so...help would be GREAT! Thanks! And give feedback. I'm gonna try to post at least ONE EVERY Sunday!
CHAPTER 1: "Winner at a Losing Game" by Rascal Flatts
Point Place, Wisconsin
January 5, 1980; Sunday
Jackie's and Fez's Apartment
Jackie was holding Fez's hand and smiling at him. "So, we're ok then, Fez?"
Fez smiled and nodded. "Yes. We should have known that it was not going to work out. I mean, it was the perfect combination: you're hot and I'm snazzy. "
"I know. I think it's just the fact that we're so perfect for each other is what makes it so boring. I mean, you're perfect for what I'm looking for in a guy: I boss you around and you let me, you're sweet, and don't talk back to me. But you agreeing with me all the time only turns me off. No offense."
Fez nods. "None taken. I want a girl that bosses me around, but in the two weeks that we were together, I felt ahhh," he says with a shrug. "I believe I need to focus on myself rather than wanting a girlfriend that gives me nookie all the time."
Jackie nodded. "I know what you mean. I'm thinking about doing the same. I need to find out who I am and how to stand on both feet on my own. I mean, I was single for only about 5 months. I'm only 18. I have my whole life ahead of me!"
Fez frowns. "Who are you and what have you done to the real Jackie?"
"I'm serious, Fez. I've been thinking these last couple of days and I've come to the conclusion that I really need to be on my complete own for some time. I don't know who the hell I am and all I've known about myself is that I would be a great wife. I know I can do more than that and it's time that I focus on that from now on."
"What are you planning on doing?"
Jackie sighed. "Well, I called up Chicago to see if there was a possibility on returning back to work. However, they told me that it wasn't going to be possible. But then I talked to this guy, Fred Warner who's a producer and he convinced me to get a bachelor's degree in broadcast journalism."
"So, you are going back to school then?"
"Yeah." She thought about how she was going to tell this next part to Fez. So, she took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm actually thinking about moving to Pittsburg."
Fez's face fell. "What?"
"Yeah. I called a couple of people that my dad knows and I was able to still manage to get enrolled in a few classes. The only problem is…school starts in two weeks and I have to be there by next Saturday." She looked at Fez, nervously. She didn't know how he was going to react and in the past few months, he had become her best friend and confidant. If he thought it was a stupid idea, then she wasn't sure if she'd go through with her plan or not.
Fez sat there for a minute, trying to let everything she had just said settle. The more he thought, the more he couldn't help but be proud of Jackie. "Well, good luck, Jackie. I know you will be marvelous."
Jackie's face completely grew in a big smile. "Really Fez? You aren't mad?"
"Why would I be mad? You are following your dreams."
Jackie threw her arms around him. "Thank you, Fezzie!"
It didn't take long for word to get out about Jackie leaving in a week. Once Mrs. Forman had heard the news, she insisted on giving Jackie a small dinner party. Jackie didn't have the heart to say no, so she agreed.
When Friday night rolled in, everyone was at the Formans. Well…almost everyone.
Red walked over to Jackie, a beer in each hand. Once he reached the young lady, he gave her a small smile and handed her one of the beers. "Thought this might cheer you up."
Jackie managed a small smile as she reached for the beer. "Thank you, Mr. Forman."
There was a moment of silence. Red tried to think of things to say to cheer her up a little. He had always said that Jackie was his favorite of his dumbass son's friends. She was the only one that managed to get a true smile and laugh out of him.
Jackie stared down to the ground and tried to hold back the tears she so wanted to let out. The tears that had been dying to get out for hours.
Red let out a sigh and did his hardest to let this out. "Listen, Jackie. Your mom…I bet that she…ran through some problems and that's what's keeping her from getting here."
Jackie snickered at this. "Yeah, right. Those problems being booze and young males by the names of Carlos and Pedro." She gave a louder snicker at this. "I can't believe for a minute I actually thought she was going to come. She hasn't been home since November, so why would I ever think she'd be back by now? God, I'm such an idiot."
"Jackie, I don't think--"
"Please, Mr. Forman." Her eyes pleaded him. "Just…don't. I can't bare another person I've come to care about lie to me." With that she turned her heel and marched off.
Once she got to the kitchen, she let out a sigh of relief to see that it was vacant. Finally, she thought to herself, a moment to myself. She prayed that this damn night would already come to an end.
Almost everything about this night had been a disaster. First, she had gotten word from her father's lawyer that her father, Jack, had received more charges against him. Then, she heard that her father was unable to cover her room and board, so she had to sell her Lincoln in order to cover it. Then, three hours into the party, Jackie faced the fact that her mother was not going to come to see her off. The only reason why she was still here was because of Mrs. Forman.
Jackie lifted the beer to her lips and she took a long sip of it, trying to forget her worries.
"That's a real great way to drain the tears," came a voice from the background. The light suddenly came on.
Jackie turned and found her ex, Hyde, standing right by the basement door. She frowned at him. "What do you want, Steven?" She didn't mean to sound so angry at him, but she couldn't help it. She needed to take out all this hurt and pain out on someone. But seeing that Hyde had himself hurt her so many times, she thought it was more than fine that she was taking the anger out on his dumb ass.
Hyde had been down in the basement almost the entire party. He had been dragged to come by Mrs. Forman and for the past few hours he had locked himself in the basement and chugged down some beers. He didn't know what had gotten into him, but ever since he had heard the news of Jackie getting ready to move to Pittsburgh, he couldn't get rid of this great annoyance that had suddenly built inside of him. He thought a few beers would fix the problem, but after the 6th one, it still hadn't worked.
Then, he had run out of beer, so he decided to come up here and grab a few more, and that's when he saw Jackie. The annoyance had formed again and before he knew it, he felt the want to take it out on her.
Hyde stared at her behind his sunglasses. "Don't take your anger out on me just cuz your princess butt is having issues."
Jackie stared at him with death rays. "I do not have issues."
He was getting satisfaction in getting a rise out of her. "Then, why so upset? What? Another guy not work out? But that has to be impossible. You've dated half the guys in Point Place already, one of them is bound to be the one for you." He smirked at her. "The only guys left are the dorks like Forman."
Jackie was ready to strangle this idiot. "Don't try to make me out to be some kind of slut, Steven, because I'm not. I've only dated half a dozen guys and only two of which were serious. Although I'm starting to regret one of them." She began to walk away from the kitchen.
"Yeah, I gotta say I completely regret it. That year was very well wasted. I coulda gone out with hotter chicks that kept their mouths shut. Hell, chicks that didn't have to make me wait almost a damn year for some action." He took a sip of his beer, smirking at his comment. He knew that that had to hurt.
Jackie turned around to face him and put down her beer, hard, onto the counter. She was pissed. "Alright, Steven, just tell me why the hell you're being such an ass to me? What did I supposedly do now?"
"Supposedly?" Anger was beginning to form inside of him now too. "I've never put false accusations on you."
snickered. "Yeah, sure you haven't."
"Are you telling me that you sleeping with Kelso was a false accusation?!" He was red in the face now.
Jackie took a deep breath and shut her eyes, praying for patience. "For the last time, Steven. I. Did. Not. Sleep. With. Michael." She looked at him straight in the eye. "Yes, we were going to. But while he was out, I was having second thoughts and I was ready to tell him that I didn't want to do it anymore. But you came in before I could even say a word to him."
Hyde snickered. "How convenient."
Jackie grunted. "Why does it even matter to you, anyways? We were broken up already! We were nothing anymore."
Something pulled at his heart at those words. "Glad to know you forgot about us that quickly," he muttered under his breath and began to walk away.
That set her off. She wasn't gonna let him get away now, not until she had a few words at it as well. "Oh, you're one to talk! I was debating over having sex with someone or not while you went off to marry some random piece of trash!"
Hyde turned to Jackie, pissed. "Don't talk about Sam like that."
This stung. Jackie felt as if someone had just taken a bat and smashed her heart in a million pieces. However, she wasn't about to give him the satisfaction that he was hurting her. "I didn't think you could ever forgive such a cheap ass skank. Seeing the way she hurt you the way she did, I thought you were going to kick her out with yells." A laugh escaped her lips. "It just amazes me that you've already forgiven someone you only knew for a couple of months--someone that you knew nothing about, that you continue to know nothing about! And you couldn't even--"
She stopped at that because a sudden knot had formed on her throat. The same knot that had formed when she had found out about Hyde's marriage. God, how much it had hurt when she had found out. She had cried herself to sleep for weeks, wishing that she'd wake up the next morning from the nightmare that had become her life. However, the morning had never come. It took days to accept it, but she managed to continue on. However, as much as she tried these last couple of months to forget her ex, she simply couldn't. It was strange because she had completely gotten over Michael in two weeks, but that was just not the case with Hyde. She still felt something strong for him now. While she was with Fez, she focused her energy in forgetting him, but couldn't.
Hyde just stood there and watched her. He was glad his glasses were on because they were hiding the pain he was feeling right now. He didn't say anything.
Jackie tried to hold back the tears and took a deep breath. She needed to get this out. For months she had kept this in. These words she so wanted to tell her ex. It was now or never. "It's just--" She took another breath. "I did so much for you! I sacrificed so much when I was with you. My friends and parents didn't agree with me dating you. I ended up losing all my friends and now have a sour relationship with both my parents because I chose to be with you!" She was looking straight at him now. "I sacrificed who I used to be to be with you because I wanted to be better for you. I didn't want you to think I was some sort of a rich snob who didn't know a thing. I didn't want you to think of me as a cold-hearted bitch, so I changed!" The tears were coming down now, hard. She could barely catch her breath. But at the same time, more anger was coming out.
Especially since Hyde was just standing there, not saying a word and being so fucking Zen.
It bothered the hell out of her. "God, Steven! Say something!" She wanted a word, a reaction, a movement--anything! Anything that showed this was affecting him in some way. Because even though she wished she didn't, she still loved him. She still wanted that fucking happy ending with him! And if she got that reaction….
However, he was Zen. He would never show his true colors.
She lost it. She went straight at him and punched and kicked him as hard as she could. "God, I hate you! I hate that you haven't changed one fucking bit! I was such an idiot for taking you back that first time!"
Alright, now he had it. He took her hands and pushed them down. "Well, I was the fucking moron who took you back first, remember? After that whole 'get off my boyfriend' shit you pulled when you saw Annett on top of fucking Kelso when we were together!"
Oh, she hated him for mentioning that! "That was one of the main reasons why we broke up right before summer started. You could never trust me right after that, even though I kept telling you over and over again how Michael didn't mean anything to me anymore! How I loved you and not him! But the more I tried to convince you of that, the more you pulled away! And since you couldn't trust me, you cheated!"
"I told you to stay away from Kelso and your dumb ass didn't listen!"
Jackie wanted to pick up that chair and hit him over the head with it. Was he serious?! "How does that justify you cheating?!!! You couldn't come up to me and confront me about it? You jumped to conclusions without speaking to me first!" Tears stung her eyes again and she couldn't hold them back. The horrible memory was rushing in her mind again. "And what was more fucked up was that after the summer, you started dating that fucking biker chick cuz you thought that I deserved it."
"You were acting like a spoiled brat!"
"Don't even try to compare! I may have been a spoiled brat, but you were a dick for what you did to me! I tortured you for two days while I was trying to figure out who to take back--you or Michael. But you tortured me for a lot longer after you cheated on me. And also held that whole 'get off my boyfriend' crap over my head for months, while I never mentioned the whole nurse thing after we got back together. Even after you marrying the fucking stripper, I kept my mouth shut!"
"Mouth shut?! You would insult her every chance you got!"
"But I didn't rub it in your face the way you did to me every time I did something wrong in our relationship!"
"I don't even know how Sam got into this conversation! That happened after we had broken up!"
"The same thing with what almost happened with Michael in my hotel room! You still hold that against me even though nothing happened and when we were already broken up. And just like fucking last time, you ran off before I could even explain and did something 10x worse of what you thought I had done! You ran off and found the easiest whore you could find to ease your fucking sorrows!" She remembered the feeling of that day she found out about his marriage with Sam. God, it still hurt. Just as much as it still hurt about the nurse.
Hyde just stood there, not saying a word again. Trying to Zen back.
Jackie's frustrations were building up again. "I'm such a fucking idiot for staying with you. I gave you so much and you gave me nothing in return."
Anger built inside him again. "Nothing? Nothing?! I shaved my fucking beard off for you! I even went to jail for you!"
Tears threatened to come out. She let out a loud grunt. "I'm not talking about the physical stuff, Steven! I'm talking about the emotional needs. That's what I really cared about! That's what I wanted from you!"
"But it was the physical stuff you always bitched about! All you would whine about was the jewelry you wanted me to buy you and that you wanted me to tell you 'I love you' every damn second!"
The tears came down like cascades right then. She had never cried like this in front of him--or anyone else for that matter. She had refused to. But his words, god they were hurting her so much that she just couldn't hold back. Couldn't fight them anymore. However, she still had something else to say to him. She took a deep breath, fought back some tears, and looked at him straight in the eye. "That was what my past-self wanted. As I was with you I changed. And what I came to want from you was you!" Her eyes shot out more tears, the knot in the throat was making it more difficult for her to talk, but she did anyways. "I told you things I had never told anyone before. Not Michael, not Donna, not Fez. Things that I kept hidden from my childhood. I stripped myself when I was with you. And I loved you even more after it because I saw how none of the things that I said made you turn around and walk out. But," the sobs were coming out now and she could barely contain herself, "that just--I wanted--" Her body was shaking out of control. She hadn't cried this much since she found out about the nurse…or Sam. And both times, she had been alone. Not this time.
Hyde was just standing there, arms crossed. His mouth was shut and in a thin line. A frown was upon his face, but his eyes could not be seen. The sunglasses were hiding them.
Jackie tried to calm herself down. "Fuck! I wanted you! And I still do! I still love you!" There, she had said it. She had never said it out loud before. And even though she felt sick to her stomach, she didn't regret it. She was tired of it all. Tired of pretending to people that she was over Steven Hyde, when in fact she was far from it. She still loved him--more than she had before and she hated herself for that.
"Just give me something here, Steven. Please," she begged with her voice, her body, her soul--her whole faith. She took a deep breath and looked at Hyde straight in the eye and let him know through her own that she was more than willing to give it another shot. She was willing to start over with him again. Now, he would give her a reaction. She was certain.
However, more than a minute passed and he still stood there. Completely Zen. Arms were crossed, sunglasses on, and no emotion. No reaction.
The blood in her body boiled more than before. She had put herself out there again and got nothing in return…again! God, why didn't she fucking learn?! She launched herself at him again and kicked and punched him everywhere she could reach. She wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt her. "I HATE YOU!!! God, I hate you so much!" Slap! "You've hurt me more than Michael and my parents ever hurt me put together!" Kick! "I don't ever want to see you again!" Slap! "Do you hear me, Hyde?! You're dead to me now! I hate you!" She punched him one last time and pushed passed him to exit the kitchen.
However, once she got into the living room, she noticed that everyone in the party was now staring at her. The music and talking had stopped and it was obvious that everyone in the room had been listening to the argument.
This did not help. Jackie grabbed her purse from the coffee table and began to rush out of the living room.
A hand, however, held her back. "Jackie, honey. Wait."
Jackie turned and saw Mrs. Forman. She was in almost tears. Jackie didn't want to hear it. She knew Mrs. Forman was like Hyde's mother and she could only imagine what the woman had to say about him, but Jackie just didn't want to hear it. "Thank you for the party, Mrs. Forman. I'll call you when I get to Pittsburgh." She turned to Donna, Fez, Forman, and Kelso. She opened her mouth to say something, but she just couldn't. Sobs instead were beginning to come out. So, instead she waved goodbye and ran out of there.
She got into her beat-up "new" Ford car and drove away. Her whole world was crushing down. However, she thought as she wiped away the tears, she would built herself up again. New place, new friends, new life, new boyfr--no! She would remain single. She would do everything from now on, on her own. No help. From anyone. She was a new Jacqueline B. Burkhart.
Back at the party, Mrs. Forman was trying to distract everyone with her dinner rolls and Mr. Forman was holding Donna and Fez back. He told the two that Jackie needed some time alone right now and if either tried to go after her right now he would kick both of them straight in the asses.
In the kitchen, however, all was quiet.
There, up against the wall was Steven Hyde, thinking back on the last several minutes he had just lived through. Jackie's words were still echoing through his head.
"I hate you!"
"You're dead to me!"
"I don't ever want to see you again!"
"I'm such a fucking idiot for staying with you!"
"You've hurt me more than Michael and my parents ever hurt me!"
"I wanted you! And I still do! I still love you!"
God, that last one had tugged at his heart more than the others. The knowledge that she not only loved him still, but still wanted to be with him had made his stomach flutter. He still loved and wanted to be with her too.
He knew what he had to do. He needed to go after her and beg for forgiveness. He knew that she would give it to him. All he had to do was open up to Jackie completely--be naked to her like the way she wanted him to--and she would take him back in a second. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was tough when it came to other things, but when it came to love? He just didn't have the strength. Fuck it all! He certainly was a loser at a winning game.
SO, WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK?! I'VE BEEN WANTING FOR JACKIE AND HYDE TO HAVE THIS KINDA ARGUMENT EVER SINCE HYDE CHEATED ON HER WITH THAT NURSE. I DON'T THINK THE WRITERS DID A GOOD JOB IN NOT HAVING JACKIE PUNCH HYDE AND NOT HAVE HER LET OUT ALL HER ANGER! AM I RIGHT OR WRONG HERE?!!!
OK, SO THE NEXT CHAPTER: "Loser at a Winning Game" (words in title switched so it can suit Hyde. Jackie will not appear in the next chapter. It will be just Hyde--possibly! It's mostly him analizing what happened to him in cough STUPID cough Season 8, so that we can all have a better understanding. It's the explaination I gave myself for Hyde being such a dick for what he did to Jackie.