Title: My Resolve
Synopsis: Main Character's POV. Spoilers leading up to 12/31/09. Minato considers over the choice he has to make, and how the phrase 'Memento Mori' will affect his decision. A no-pairings, short one-shot.
Author's Notes: This is just a little angsty one-shot about the afternoon before Ryoji comes to hear their decision about remembering or not. It's kind of pointless, but I like it. I really love that phrase 'Memento Mori', if you hadn't noticed. Please read and review!
Memento Mori. "Remember you are mortal." "Remember that you will die." It was a phrase I had come over while studying for Classic Literature in the mall cafe. I mouthed the words to myself, let them roll off of my tongue, as though they were a peculiar taste that was hard to distinguish between pleasant or repulsive. It was a latin phrase, and meant to remind yourself that all living things would die. I contemplated that concept as I packed my things for the afternoon.
I wandered to the Port Island station slowly, my mind tired and filled with many things. Every living thing died and it was a fate that couldn't be avoided. The only variation was when, and how you filled your time leading up to that destined time. The path before me was cloudy, and I wasn't sure how to proceed. I knew that the people around me were coming to their decision about how they wanted to lead up to their destiny, and resolve was filling their hearts with courage and strength. Though they didn't know the way either, they were willing to brave boldly on ahead, no matter the odds.
I sat on the train silently, my music cranked up to block out all noises that weren't my thoughts. Tonight, when the clock ticked midnight, the harbinger of Death would come to reap our decisions. We had been given one month, until the New Year's eve, to decide how to handle the inevitable fate that stood before us now. The first instinct that had run through my mind was to brashly keeping fighting, to remember everything, since everything before Gekkoukan High didn't seem to matter to me anymore. The memories I had made with my friends were what drove me.
The steady movement of the monorail and the volume of my music drove my mind into a in-betweens state of drowsiness. Death didn't scare me. I wasn't afraid of dying, and I don't really ever remember a time when I had. I didn't remember much past nine years ago, when I'd started to live with my aunt and uncle. I'd been told of the car crash, and I'd been told that I was probably so scared that I'd blocked it from my memory. I'd been told a lot of things about it, but I never really thought about it for myself. Even then, when I'd been told I could've died, I didn't think about the 'what-ifs'. I hadn't feared it.
Memento Mori. Remember that you will die, like all living things will. From the moment your first breath is taken, your fate is sealed. Despite this knowledge, we carry on with our lives, and try to push that from our minds. If we were to spend our lives in fear of what could happen, that like a candle our lives could be blown out at any moment, then would be the point of life at all?
My friends and I had been told that the Fall was coming. The Fall, the end of the world, was coming and we had no power to stop it. It was a fact that the entity of Death, Nyx, was coming and there was no chance of defeating the bringer of destruction. Our old friend, who we all, including himself, had just learned was the harbinger of Nyx, decided to give us a choice. If we decided to kill him, he could take away all of our memories of the past year. We would forget about the mission we had set out to accomplish, we would forget our ties with each other, but we would know nothing of the end of the world. We would be just as oblivious as those around us, and we wouldn't have to be dreading and expecting our lives to end.
Or we could continue on as we were. We could remember, and brave the elements. We could fight against the undefeatable, and die trying to save the world. We could press on, carry our knowledge of our impending doom, and try to bear with that agony and fear as it was. The choice was hard and difficult for us all, and the bearer of this news and this choice granted us a month to decide.
Memento mori. We will all die one day. But it is the actions leading up to our deaths that make the time before it worth living and braving. I have accepted this as truth. As I stepped off of that train and I began to walk to the Iwatodai dorm, the path that had been before me was clearer. I was ready. I knew in my heart that my friends' were too. We all were ready. The resolve in my heart finalized, and I stared up into the late afternoon sky. The sun was about to disappear, and the full moon had risen behind me. I moved up to the front door of the dorm, and as I rested my hand on the handle, I let a small and rare smile appear across my lips.
I opened the door, shut my eyes, and inhaled slowly. It was my resolve. It was my fate. I could use the time and events I had left to manipulate when I would arrive on death's door. I could decide how and when I wanted to die, but there was no escaping it completely. I was ready to understand that now. I was ready to make my choice. I mouthed the words to nobody but myself, and I submerged myself into the real world again.