And here's chapter 5!

A quick note. I am very, very glad that people have been viewing my story - it makes me really happy when people put it on story alert, or add it - or me, even! - to their favorites. But I'm not getting that many reviews. Now, I'm not going to get angry or anything - that's ridiculous. You have no obligation to review my story. However, as Ambiguous Inexplicable Enigma noted, a lot of people look at the review count to judge whether or not something is worth reading. Thus, I'd appreciate it if, when you read my story and like it, drop a review. I'd like to say that reviews don't matter, but they do - they make a difference to how many people will read the story. So drop a review, anything at all. It'll make my day.

Also, there is a brief bit of swearing in this chapter. Just warnin' ya'.

"Nope. Does nothing for me."

Genma pointed to a different picture, a buff black haired man in trunks, posing. "How about this guy? He looks hot."

Ranma gave her father a pained look. "I can't believe I just heard you say that. And no, got nothing. Not interested."

Genma turned the page. "Ah, this looks good. If I was a girl, I'd be interested in him."

"Geez, dad, why are you even trying? Shouldn't mom be doing this with me, if at all?"

"If I let your mother get her claws into you, you'll be wearing dresses 24/7 faster than Happosai goes after his precious lingerie. Do you want that?"

Ranma shook her head, grimacing. Even with in her new girly side, she preferred gender-neutral clothing.

"That's what I thought." Genma pointed to another picture. "Here's a real bishonen; how do you feel when you look at him?"

"Nothing, pops. Where'd you get this thing, anyway?"

"Nabiki sells these black booklets to a special clientèle. She calls it 'black-market porn', but none of these are very-" he froze as he turned the page, his mouth open in shock.

Ranma looked over, and stopped in shock as well. Where the previous beefcake pictures had been arranged four or five to a page, this was big enough to take up the whole thing by itself. It was also a picture of male Ranma. Naked.

Furiously going at Ryoga from behind.

All the blood drained from Ranma's face. "Wha, what the hell? What is this?!"

Genma slowly turned his head to look at his daughter. "You, you, you-" He didn't seem able to coherently form a sentence.

Ranma frantically looked back and forth between her father and the pornography. "I, I have no idea what this is. It can't possibly be real, I'd never do this!"

"You, you, you-" Genma kept on chanting the word, as if it was a prayer. There was a high-pitched frantic tone to his voice now, and his eyes were rolling.

Ranma stared at the picture, and was relieved to see faint lines and discolorations. "Look, pops, this image was altered! See here? It's a fake!"

Genma looked down at the picture, squinted, sighed in relief, and then fainted.

It was Ranma's turn to roll her eyes. "Geez, pops, taking this a little heavy?" Not that Ranma had been any less panicked; she's just dealt with it better.

It'd been a week since they'd first started training, and today Genma had declared Ranma suitable for the next step of training. It was about damn time, too; Ranma was getting pretty damn good at channeling now, and didn't even have to really concentrate to produce deific energy. She'd figured out how to get the speed down, as well; rather than push the Ki harder, she made the areas it crossed easier to flow across. It was like pushing a stone block over an oiled tarp rather than across a sandy beach, and after she'd figured that step out, it became a simple task to refine the process.

Before they'd advanced, though, Genma had decided to run a series of 'tests' to find out what kind of girl Ranma was. Ranma had appreciated it, actually; it gave her a chance to really think about the subject, and the answers she'd gotten were relieving: she wasn't that different of a person. She seemed to hold the idea of family closer to her heart, and her affection for her father was heightened, almost strangely so, but no matter what angle she approached it from everything always seemed completely normal. She'd been under enchantments before, and they'd felt different – when she couldn't force it away, the urges were overwhelmingly strong. There was nothing unusual about the changes to her personality this time.

There was also an unmistakable urge to look attractive, but as they'd just been figuring out, she felt no attraction to guys. Which was a relief, as it meant her love life wouldn't be getting any more complicated. Well, it would probably still get complicated, but at least it wouldn't involve any boys!

Besides those two things, though, she was pretty much the same. Same personality, same desire to win, same dislike of cats – although that was getting better. Same Ranma.

Genma was passed out on the ground, so Ranma decided to go get something to drink. There was a convenience store around the corner, which she and her father had been subsisting on. Her father had come up with the money, and Ranma wasn't asking where it came from; they needed solitude, and they weren't going to get that at the Tendo house, so Ranma wasn't decrying her father's methods. Thievery had always been an integral part of the Anything Goes style, even if only when necessary.

She gave a girlish wink at the pimply teenage attendant (she hadn't developed an aversion to using her looks as an advantage, so she continued to do so), which distracted him long enough for her to pocket two cans of cold coffee. Walking out of the store, she waved goodbye, and giggled when the attendant nearly fell over the counter in his exuberance to do the same.

When she got back, Genma had woken up, and she handed him a can without comment. The older man drank it quickly, tossed it into a nearby bin, and then got to his feet.

"Alright Ranma, enough tests," he said, kicking the booklet away from where it had fallen. "Dealing with Nabiki can come later; let's continue on with the training. Genma got into a fighting stance. "You need to practice moving your deific energy into other people with precision. There are ways of protecting yourself against deific energy, and I'll be using them; if you force it into my body here," he said, putting a hand on the center of his chest, "it'll make things easier for me."

Ranma grumbled. "Can't we figure out how to change me back, first?"

"All in time, all in time. Now! Channel it into me!"

Ranma stepped forward and complied, pressing his deific energy into Genma. Genma grunted, but seemed unaffected. "Good! You'll master this quickly, I can tell! Again!"

Xian Puu dragged her feet as she made her way back to the Cat Cafe, the sunset winding away as night fell. Ukyo had made good on her promise, and had sparred with the Chinese girl every day, after she had cooked up one of the energy/linguistics boosting okonomiyaki. Afterwards, though, Xian Puu was forced to eat a variety of dishes, which had a multitude of positive and negative effects. A curry that made her breathe fire, and one that made her sneeze soap bubbles; a jello that had left her body rubbery and unresponsive for hours. Several meat dishes had given her a hunger for the diets of what she had eaten, and one vegetable soup had turned her skin green and leathery, and gave her the ability to photosynthesize. Luckily they were all temporary, including the okonomiyaki that made her speak Japanese so well – which was a plus, since it also made her forget how to speak Chinese.

Ukyo was getting better at utilizing her new gift – but Xian Puu had been experiencing no progress at all. Grandmother was still refusing to train her beyond the simple Flowers Blooming spell, saying that her mastery of magic was still very low. Xian Puu thought her mastery of magic was fine right where it was – having none at all.

She wasn't interested in magic. Only the elders of the village learned magic, to make up for the loss of physical ability. In modern stories, the heroines were always martial artists, and would sometimes have male wizards as their companions – shockingly scandalous, but all the girls her age loved them, so they kept getting written by the story tellers. Xian Puu wanted to practice her martial arts, develop a God Seed, get Ranma to fall in love with her – but Grandmother, for some reason, seemed opposed to this goal.

Xian Puu could tell that her Ki wasn't getting any better. Magic used life energy as its source, and Grandmother had dodged the issue of whether it would help Xian Puu's development of a God Seed so many times that she was sure it wasn't accomplishing anything. She didn't know why Grandmother was trying to stop her development of a God Seed, but Xian Puu was determined that she'd get it anyway. It would be impossible for Grandmother to directly order her to stop practicing martial arts, as not even an elder had the ability to sabotage someone's development that way; as long as Xian Puu avoided the traps Grandmother set, she'd be fine.

Right now she was exhausted – she had to be, to prevent Grandmother from thinking anything was wrong. Walk away exhausted, come back exhausted – that was the only way. Ukyo, thankfully, had enough stamina to wear Xian Puu down, although she'd started eating the special okonomiyaki as well. Xian Puu was really jealous, actually; after fighting her everyday for four days now, she knew that the spatula girl was actually quite skilled, even if she didn't use any Ki abilities.

Xian Puu turned the corner to see the Cat Cafe standing there, closed once again. Grandmother had kept the place closed for a week now, keeping Xian Puu busy all day. Muu Suu was busy as well, training his own techniques. To think, that blind idiot was getting to do what Xian Puu wanted, while she was forced to garden everyday, using magical energy to keep a couple of weeds perky!

She raised her head as she heard strange sounds coming from an empty lot nearby. Walking up, and delaying the blessed rest she needed so much, Xian Puu was surprised to find Muu Suu there, throwing things from his sleeves. Well, not really that surprised; Grandmother had told him to stay away from the restaurant two days ago, when he blew some (more) holes in the wall.

What has he been training at? Xian Puu wondered; she'd been intensely curious about the source of Muu Suu's new throwing power. Looking around before catching the blind boy's attention , she saw that he'd been throwing some of those training rods of his at what looked like monstrous metal cubes. They were made of steel, and were nearly three feet thick and five feet high; even more amazing, though, was that they all bore terrible marks from Muu Suu's throws – scorched holes from where his training rods had pierced into the metal. What kind of technique has he learned!? I don't think even a high-caliber gun could do that much damage!

Muu Suu whipped around as he finally noticed Xian Puu's presence. He was sweating heavily; whatever he was doing, it really took it out of him. As he embraced a fire hydrant, she also noticed that he wasn't wearing his glasses.

"Xian Puu!" he cried in Chinese for the second time, this time successfully launching himself at her after replacing his glasses. "Have you come to see my progress? Have you come to cheer me on?"

"Don't be an idiot, Muu Suu," she replied back in the same language, tiredly putting a foot into his face to stop him short. "I was just wondering what kind of damage you were wreaking."

"Much damage, Xian Puu, much damage!" Muu Suu remained on the ground, trying to get around Xian Puu's intercepting foot. "My new technique is working out very well, although it is difficult to hold for any period of time. Soon I will develop a God Seed, and you will finally be free to marry me!"

"You? Develop a God Seed? Don't make me laugh!" Xian Puu looked down at him cruelly. It was partially affected, but she was also very, very tired of his idiotic attempts to gain her love. "You'll never reach that level. And even if you did, I would never marry you, Muu Suu. My heart is Ranma's!"

Muu Suu stiffened. "But, Xian Puu! He cares nothing for you!"

"That matters little to an Amazoness and you know it! Besides, he cares for me at least a little."

"What does he have that I don't?!"

Xian Puu turned her eyes upwards, smiling as she recalled all that appealed to her about Ranma. "He's handsome, he's skilled, he's chivalrous, he's a better martial artist – and he's not an obsessed fanboy!"

Muu Suu recoiled at each item on the list, looking heartbroken. This only made Xian Puu feel more successful. "I can understand the handsome bit," he said softly, "but I'm just as good a martial artist as he is! If I get a God Seed, you can't say otherwise!"

Xian Puu turned away. "You'll never get a God Seed, so it's a moot point. I'm going to bed. Have fun training for a goal you'll never reach." She walked away without looking back, and didn't say a word to Grandmother as she made her way to her bed and tried to go to sleep.

The sounds of Muu Suu's efforts echoed long into the night. Xian Puu had to grit her teeth to prevent herself from walking over to the window and shouting at him to stop making such a racket. Just like a man to work himself into the ground over such a thing. Amazon or Japanese, they're all fools, letting testosterone make their decisions for them!

It was nearly midnight by the time she got to sleep. Muu Suu had finally stopped practicing when a neighbor had thrown something at him; she hadn't heard him come up the stairs, so he'd either snuck in, or he'd stayed in the lot. Her last thought before sinking into unconsciousness was why Ranma couldn't be as dedicated.

Nabiki was napping on the porch when Ranma came to call.

She could tell he – or rather, she – was angry by the sound of her footsteps. The martial artist was practically pounding holes in the asphalt as she made her way down the street; Nabiki knew it had been a mistake to sell Genma the booklet, but he'd offered a lot of money for it. Running away wasn't going to solve this problem, though, as Ranma sounded angry enough to actually chase her, and there was no way Nabiki could actually escape Ranma if the martial artist wanted to catch her. She got up and made her way to the door before Ranma got there.

Just before Ranma was going to knock, Nabiki opened the door. This put the red-haired girl off balance, which was exactly where Nabiki needed her. She launched into an aggressive plan to sidetrack the issue and distract Ranma.

"Ranma, I heard Kodachi's found out about your curse." As Ranma flinched at the memory, Nabiki smiled inside. "I could offer some help on the subject – for a price."

Ranma shook her head. "I don't think so, Nabiki, not this time. I going to ask straight out – what did you think you were doing when you made those, those, pictures of me?!"

Nabiki smirked. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play games with me, Nabiki!"

"I thought you were going to ask me straight out? That didn't sound very straight out to me."

Ranma growled. "Nabiki, there are few things I can't just endure, but attacks on my sexuality, especially blatant ones like that, are at the top of the list. You're going to destroy all of those booklets. Then you're going to pay me back, for all the humiliation you've caused me."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Are you demanding money from me, Ranma? I don't think-"

"I don't care what you think!" Ranma snarled. "All I care about is making sure this stops – to whatever extent I can, making sure it never happened! And you're going to put all your resources to the task to help me do so!"

Nabiki frowned. This was getting out of hand. Ranma was looking at her with an anger so fiery that she'd only seen him act the same way toward other martial artists, and those rarely at that. He wasn't going to listen to reason, but she couldn't just give in to his demands – that'd be the start of a long and slippery slope. This kind of thing was real blackmail material, and if Ranma let it slip, her father wouldn't take it lying down. She couldn't go down that path – as stubborn as he was, as soon as Ranma got leverage over her like that, he'd use it to halt her every attempt to make money off of him, despite the fact that it was the only thing keeping the house afloat.

So she... pushed a little bit, with her mind.

"Ranma," she said sweetly, "that's a little much, don't you think?"

Ranma looked dazed. "Well, I, uh, I don't think it's that much, considering-"

"I have to support this family, Ranma, and I need money to do so." With every word that Nabiki put emphasis on, Ranma looked a little more dazed. Nabiki herself was starting to sweat; she'd never been forced to use her special gift on Ranma before, so she'd never realized how tough of a nut he was to crack. "It'd beunfair to make me pay for such a thing, don't you think?"

"M-m-m-m-maybe so," Ranma stuttered distantly, "But you, you still need to get rid of the booklets..."

Nabiki winced. Those things were making her a lot of money among the female population, but Ranma wasn't giving in on it, so they'd have to go. "Alright, I'll make sure they're all destroyed, alright Ranma?"

Ranma grinned happily. "Thanks, Nabiki. You're the best!"

Nabiki patted her on the back. "That's nice, Ranma. You should probably go lie down."

Ranma nodded, still grinning, and Nabiki helped her over to a futon that was in the living room and laid her down onto it. Standing up, she steadied herself at the sudden dizziness, and pinched her nose in annoyance when she realized it was bleeding. She made her way to the kitchen and asked Kasumi for a glass of water, who handed it over with a worried look. Nabiki waved her away and went back to the porch and sat down.

Man, I haven't used that for a while. Hope Ranma doesn't pick up any ill effects; that geezer did say that his mind would be more stable now. She sighed. Blast it. I never wanted to use that again. Aside from the possible effect it had on her health, it damaged her target as well – and it meant that she was too incompetent to solve the situation in any other way. If I'd waited a little bit, a solution would have presented itself – why did I have to panic like that?

She put her back up against one of the house supports, but found she didn't need it. Normally the headaches she got after using her ability lasted all day long, and against stubborn people like Ranma it often continued into the next day – but she was already feeling better, and it'd barely been five minutes. Huh. That's weird. Maybe Kasumi's been cooking some sort of brain food, or something.

Still a little dizzy, Nabiki got up and made her way to her room. She needed to call her contacts and make sure the black booklets got destroyed. She'd made a promise, and she'd keep it. When she remembered the whole 'becoming girly' thing with Ranma, though, she smiled. She'll probably start wearing a bra and stuff. Pictures of her willing put one on will sell real well! I need to hook up some more cameras around the house.

Still holding her nose, Nabiki started making plans.

Kasumi frowned worriedly as her little sister walked off with the glass of water. What has she done to herself now? Akane and Soun had each been too busy mourning the loss of their mother and wife, Kaname Tendo, to notice, but Kasumi had: Nabiki had frequently had such attacks before, and Kasumi had managed to put together the clues and realize they only happened after she'd had a particularly fierce negotiation with someone.

She didn't ask questions, though. Nabiki was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, at least when it came to bargaining and negotiation, so Kasumi didn't ask about it, but she was still worried. Nabiki must be really stressed if the attacks are coming back. I should cook her up something special later tonight.

A timer went off in her head, and the looked to see that the soup for dinner was done. She poured a bowl and went over the closet, where she grabbed the funnel and gently fed Taro his dinner. She wasn't about to free him, destructive and repulsive as he was, but she wasn't about to let him starve either.

After giving the man his dinner and making sure all his bindings were tight, she went and found each member of the family to tell them dinner was ready. Nabiki was up in her room, looking much better as she scribbled calculations and drawings in one of her notebooks, and both Soun and Akane were busy training in the dojo. Kasumi was glad to see that they were both working so hard on Akane's training; her father hadn't looked that focused in years, and there was a definite improvement in Akane's temperament.

To her surprise, she spotted Ranma napping in the living room. Good thing I made extra. Humming now, Kasumi made her way back to the kitchen. Tonight's dinner was going to be wonderful; everyone was looking so much happier nowadays!

As she walked over to the cupboard to take out some bowls, she slipped on some water that Nabiki had let spill when she was drinking. Squeaking in surprise, she reached out to grab something – only to pull the soup pot over with her. As she saw it bearing down on her, she could only think of how disappointing it was that dinner would be ruined.

The soup stopped.

Kasumi blinked, and then sighed. "Oh, dear," she whispered to herself, "I did it again." Putting her hand out and focusing, both the soup and the pot went back up onto the counter, not a drop spilling. Rubbing her backside, Kasumi got back up. "What unladylike behavior. I must stop doing that. I've been doing it more often, too..."

She ladled out the soup into the bowls and began carrying them to the table. Unladylike behavior or not, she wouldn't let it delay the wonderful dinner that would be happening tonight.

No. In Kasumi's household, such a night didn't happen often. She'd make sure it'd happen right.

A low chuckle resounded through the dark room, echoing off the walls and refracting in the corners. It grew stronger, filling the ears of those who could hear it with dread. Stronger and stronger it became, until it was a full-blown maniacal laugh.

"It's alive!" the same voice called out. "It's-"

"Ukyo-sama!" Konatsu said, a hint of anger and annoyance tinting the respect that was always there. "Please, Ukyo-sama, stop doing that! The first time was enough! It's no longer surprising that they're alive!"

Ukyo turned puppy-dog eyes towards her accomplice. "But, but," she said tearfully, "It's so cute!" She held up the small gingerbread man, who was looking around curiously.

Konatsu rolled his eyes. "It will probably be just as homicidal as all of your other creations."

The small creature in Ukyo's hands looked upwards. "Where am I?" it asked in a squeaky, uncertain voice. "What am I? Who're you?"

Konatsu's eardrums nearly burst as Ukyo squealed and hugged the little man to her chest. "Did you hear that, Konatsu?! Did you hear that?! Itspoke! It's sentient!"

Konatsu groaned. "Oh, dear god, Ukyo-sama, what have you done!?"

Ukyo ignored him. "Hello little guy. I'm Ukyo, and I just created you! You're my first creation that can speak!"

The gingerbread man blinked its chocolate chip eyes up at Ukyo. "Does that make me special?"

Ukyo squealed again. "Yes, yes it does! You're super, super special!" Gently, she let her creation onto the counter, and then stepped back. "I'm going to make some more gingerbread man for you to be friends with, so stay there and be friends with Konatsu here, alright?"

The gingerbread man nodded. "Alright, mistress."

Ukyo went dancing off into the ingredients cupboard, barely containing her joy. Konatsu, for his part, stared down at the creation cautiously. He was bandaged, bruised, and injured from a dozen mindlessly malicious dishes, and he wasn't about to let another one get the drop on him. Only his Ki healing skills, which he'd secretly picked up over the past year from watching the other martial artists use their Ki abilities, had kept him in good shape.

Then again, it had spoke. None of the others had done that. He put a hand down and extended a finger towards the little thing. "I'm Konatsu," he said distrustfully. "Nice to meet you."

The gingerbread man slapped his finger away and spat on the counter. "Don't fucking touch me, you queer. I don't want to get infected with your faggot virus."

Konatsu blinked, and then smiled grimly. "Well, well. Looks like another failure. Too bad I'm going to have to dispose of you."

The cookie cupped its hands to its mouth and called out. "Mistress! Konatsu is being mean to me!"

In a flash Ukyo returned, a storm of fury. "Konatsu!" she yelled. "I thought I told you to be nice to my creations!"

Konatsu waved his hands. "It's tricking you, Ukyo-sama! It's really a little monster! It called me some nasty names!"

Ukyo glared. "It just got created, fool. How would it know any insults?"

Konatsu opened and closed his mouth noiselessly, and the gingerbread man took the opportunity to leap towards Ukyo. "Mistress! He said he was going to destroy me so that he'd be the only only you could love!"

Ukyo gave Konatsu a dirty look. "I never thought you'd sink so low, Konatsu. You can take a couple of days off."

Konatsu put his hand out, whimpering. "But, Ukyo-sama!"

Ukyo shook her head. "I can take care of myself, Kontasu. Besides, I can't have you poisoning my relationship with my creations. I'll let you know when I need you again."

Crushed, Konatsu walked out the door. He walked about a block before sitting down with his back to a wall. He knew bad things were going to happen, but Ukyo had gotten much better at detecting him lately. He wouldn't be able to hide from her as he was now. This is what I get for neglecting my training. Well, he'd train now. Hopefully Ukyo wouldn't get into trouble while he practiced.

As he sadly walked by the Okonomiyaki shop on his way to find a hotel, he could hear Ukyo singing as she prepared a whole batch of gingerbread men.

Konatsu started crying as he thought of the havoc they would cause.

Kondi Xia Nia was not a happy man.

He'd tried to leave. He really had. That was what he always did. The Group would hire him to scout out a target, and he'd give them the report, receive his funds, and then go on a vacation for a while. They payed well enough that he could afford it. But Happosai had apparently taken a liking to him, because he wasn't letting him leave.

Whenever he got to the city limits he'd find Happosai between him and the outside. Whenever he tried to get in or on a car, Happosai'd be there. When he'd tried to dig his way out, he'd broken into another tunnel to find Happosai there, grinning. The Demon of Lust wasn't letting him out of Nerima, and Kondi Xia Nia was starting to go haywire over it.

He had a plan this time, though. An extreme plan, but nothing else seemed to be working. He'd bought a cannon, the type that circuses used, and was going to launch himself out of the city. He'd survive the landing, and he'd made sure to keep the cannon hidden from Happosai, so he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Once he got out of Nerima, he could make good time; there were rules about this sort of thing, and once he got out of the Happosai's territory even the Demon would be hesitant to force his hand.

He'd already packed the gunpowder, so Kondi Xia Nia lowered himself into the cannon. Releasing a small amount of Ki he lit the fuse from within the cannon, and braced himself.

With a large, noisy, and fiery blast, Kondi Xia Nia was sailing across the sky. He'd messed up the mixture and made it a little too strong since chemistry wasn't his forte, but it didn't matter; he'd be fine, and Happosai couldn't do anything. He cackled as he left the Nerima city limits far behind.

Then he hit the net.

The first thing he thought of was that it couldn't possibly be a net, as he was two hundred feet up in the air, but a quick panicked glance told him otherwise. It was attached to four large kites, amazingly, one on each corner, and with a sinking feeling Kondi Xia Nia spotted Happosai riding the one on his upper left. The old man was chuckling heartily, and Kondi Xia Nia scowled. He struggled, but the net was coated with some sort of sticky substance that resisted all his efforts to win his freedom.

"I'm out of your territory, Demon! You don't really think you'll get away with this, do you?"

Happosai just continued to laugh. "I thought I told you that I don't care about territory. You interested me, so I followed you. Now I've caught you, and I'm going to use you as I see fit."

Kondi Xia Nia gulped. The Demon of Lust did not have a history of mercy. "What do you mean? I haven't done anything to you!"

"The only thing you did was ally yourself with those annoying old farts, but that's good enough for me." Happosai glared into the sky, a distant expression on his face as he thought of old memories. "Those bastards think they can buy anything with money. Well, my student's not one of them, and you're going to deliver the message for me."

Smiling hopefully, Kondi Xia Nia looked at his captor. "You're going to let me go?"

"Hah!" Happosai pulled out his pipe. "Absolutely not! You'd just run off, and they wouldn't listen to you even if you did deliver the message. No, the message to whoever they send next is going to have to be a little more... brutal."

Kondi Xia Nia started sweating. "Wait, please, I'll deliver the message! Just don't hurt me!"

"Hurt you? I'm not going to hurt you." Happosai smiled evilly. "I don'tneed to hurt you. I can do much better with a little moxibustion and acupressure. It's amazing, really, how you can twist the mind with a little heat and pressure."

Kondi Xia Nia whimpered as Happosai climbed down the net, somehow avoiding getting stuck. What had he done wrong? It had been a simple job, and unoffensive to anyone, really. He'd even been nice to those martial artists and gave them good advice. What had gone wrong?

He closed his eyes as Happosai heated up his pipe. I was only the messenger!

Inside a dark alleyway that no one dared look into, there was a cardboard box. It was dirty. It was wet. It was practically falling apart. But it seemed to be enough of a home that a small black piglet had taken refuge inside of it.

Ryoga whimpered, shivering in the cold. He was still wet from 'playtime with Mr. Green', when he'd taken advantage of the lax security Sasuke had implemented in the alligator's room to escape. He couldn't believe how poor his luck was, that he'd been stuck with Kodachi and her pet alligator for almost half a week. Pet alligator!What was wrong with the girl?!

Kodachi had been ruthless. She'd extracted every secret he had, and since he'd already tried to be helpful before, when he hadn't known how much of a psycho she was, there had been little point in holding back. He had no idea what she was going to do with the knowledge, but now she was well on the path of spiritual growth. Ryoga shivered again. Knowing that woman, she'd manage to twist and pervert even that.

He didn't even have to think about the matter to know that Ranma was at the root of his problems. Damn you Ranma! You've made my life hell! I'll get my revenge!

Sneezing, Ryoga realized he'd catch a cold if he didn't warm up soon. As he got up to try and find his way to some sort of shelter, hopefully his backpack, Ryoga looked up out of the alleyway to see, of all people, Konatsu there. The ninja looked just as surprised, but Ryoga squealed in thankfulness when he pulled out a canteen of hot water.

A splash and a hasty bandanna-wrapping later, Ryoga was feeling much better. He wouldn't feel right until he found his pack again, but that could come later. "Thanks so much, Konatsu! I thought I was a goner!"

Konatsu smiled sadly. "You're welcome. I'm glad I could be of use to someone."

Ryoga's smile dropped a little. "Something wrong?"

Konatsu sighed. "Ukyo-sama has... given me a holiday."
"Oh. Isn't that a good thing?"

"No!" Konatsu's outburst surprised Ryoga, and he involuntarily took a step back. "It is not good! Ukyo-sama is in danger, and I cannot be there to protect her!"

Ryoga raised an eyebrow. "Danger? I thought she could take care of herself."

Konatsu sniffed. "She is fully capable of that, but her opponents this time are devious." Realizing something, he got on his knees. "Please, Ryoga-sama! Let me train with you, that I might be strong enough to protect Ukyo-sama without her knowledge!"

Ryoga was surprised, but nodded. "Sure, that's fine. I need a sparring partner anyway, to see if I can develop my God Seed."

Konatsu blinked. "You, too? Is everyone getting these things?"

"Pretty much."

"What about me?" Konatsu stepped forward. "Can I develop one as well? All it requires is Ki, yes?"

Ryoga shrugged. "I guess. From what I've been told, anyone who practices their art long enough develops one."

Konatsu nodded, full of vigor. "Then I shall endeavor to earn myself one! Hopefully, it will assist in my efforts to protect Ukyo-sama!"

Ryoga rolled his eyes. "What's with this self-sacrifice thing you ninjas have going on? Don't you have an ego?"

Konatsu bowed. "No, I do not. I was trained out of mine at an early age."

"I, I see." Ryoga rubbed the back of his head with one hand. "Well, whatever. Let's go find an empty lot and train. Why are there so many of those around here, anyway?"

"Property value depreciation, I have been told. Our battles make land here too expensive to buy, as no one can afford the maintenance costs."

"Huh. Well, anyway, you should know that I'll be practicing all my Ki moves, so be prepared, okay? We can't go easy on each other."

Konatsu bowed again. "I will do the same. We must put all our effort into it, yes?"

Ryoga nodded. "Right." Than he looked down at his nearly-naked self. "But, let's get my clothes back first, alright?"

Konatsu blushed. "Of, of course."

"Ugh! Don't do that, you're a guy!"

"I am a woman at heart."

"You didn't blush until I mentioned it!"

"Forgive me. I will endeavor to be more womanly in the future around you."

"That wasn't what I- oh, whatever. Do as you wish."

They walked off, Ryoga turning red and making haste as people stared at his lack of clothing.

A child pointed at them. "What's that couple doing, momma? Why is he naked?"

"Don't look!"

Ryoga turned crimson. Futilely, he turned to the crowd. "Hey, this guy is a man!"

The murmurs grew worse.

Ryoga threw up his hands and stomped off, holding onto his makeshift underwear tightly. Konatsu followed, holding both hands to his face like a shy schoolgirl.

Ranma Saotome! I will get my revenge!