New story that I thought of last night. Hope you all like it.

Don't Own D.Gray-Man

"I have to do what!" Allen screamed looking at Koumi horrified. "With who!"

"You have to go under cover as Kanda's wife," the scientist said.

"Why me?" Allen moaned.

"Well, normally we would send you as is, but this is a very strange region so we won't be able too."

"How come?" Allen asked while beating his head against the desk.

"They still don't believe in Equal Rights for Woman, and they absolutely do not tolerate two men together."

"Ok, problem solved. Kanda and I aren't together. Actually we almost hate each other. You have the bills from all the damages we've caused to prove it."

"Trust me Allen, I know what you mean. But since you and Kanda would be very close due to your jobs as exorcists they might assume something. And to prevent that you will be going under cover," Koumi said.

"What am I going to have to do as his…wife?" Allen said in defeat. Koumi did a mini celebration dance in his head.

"Well, aside from staying by his side at every moment of the day, you need to cook for him, serve him his food, and you can't eat until he's full or eat more than him publicly, you can't speak unless he addresses you, you have to follow his every command, and you think everything he thinks is right," Koumi said.

"Do I even have a brain in this mission?" Allen asked.

"As far as the other people think, no. Oh, and you can't speak ill of Kanda around people."

"And if I do speak ill of him?"

"Option one is that Kanda will be forced to give you 10 lashes. Option two is death," Koumi said gravely.

"I'll hold my tongue. How long is the mission?"

"About one month."

"And what exactly is the mission?" Allen asked realizing that Koumi never really explained that part.

"The reason the town is like this is because the Innocence has locked them in that time frame and won't let them move forward."

"Does Kanda know about all this?" Allen asked.

"Mo, I thought I'd tell you first. Now go see Linalee. She has your whole new outfit, along with make-up to hide your scar. And send Kanda in as well please."

"Make-up! You never mention that part of the plan before!!" Allen yelled.

Koumi walked around the desk and began to drag Allen out of the room by grabbing his waist and pulling.

"And I want lots of pictures of you and Kanda looking all love-y dove-y," Koumi said throwing him out into the hall. "Now go get your hubby for me."

"DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!!!" Allen shouted before storming off.

Allen marched down the hall to what he thought was Kanda's room. He was doing what he hoped was a moody scowl. In reality thought he was doing an adorable pout.

When he reached Kanda's room (he knew it was Kanda's because Lavi had scratched the words 'Yuu-chan' into the wall).

"Kanda!" he yelled knocking on the door. "Koumi wants to see you in his office now." Allen turned around and began to storm down the hall towards his next destination not really caring if Kanda was in his room or not.

"Hey Moyashi, what do you think your doing banging on my door like that?" Kanda growled at Allen's retreating form.

"I'm thinking I'd better get out of your way before you decided to girl-ify my hair to look like yours," Allen said deciding that since he would have to be Kanda's personal maid for the next month he'd vent now.

"What did you say Moyashi?" Kanda growled as he moved forward towards Allen.

"You heard me," Allen said turning to face him.

"I should beat your girly face in for saying that," Kanda said.

"Why don't you give me ten lashes instead? That would be more appropriate!" Allen yelled before turning around and marching off again.

Kanda just 'che'd and headed over to Koumi's mess of a room.

"Oi, Koumi. What do you want?" Kanda asked in a foul mood.

"I take it you had a run in with Allen?" Koumi said.

"Yeah, the little runt bangs on my door, yells at me, and calls me girly. What crawled up his ass?"

"His just mad at us," Koumi said acting all nonchalant.

"What did I do?"

"You married him," Koumi said waiting for Kanda's reaction. He didn't have to wait long.


"Calm down Kanda, it's not in the Holy Matrimony that you think. You and Allen will be going undercover as husband and wife for a month to collect some Innocence."

"I'm not wearing a dress," Kanda said reaching for Mugen.

"No worries, since Allen is the shorter one, he'll be the one in the dress. But there are some details you should know about the mission."

"Can't I just read it in the folder?"

"No, the story behind the town is that they don't have equal rights for woman. Meaning that you are pretty much the boss of Allen for one month."

"The boss eh? Sounds pretty good. So the Moyashi will have to do everything I say? Not matter how horrible it is?"

"Publicly yes, he'll have to cook your meals; he won't be able to eat until you tell him. This is something I'm ordering you not to forget. H can't eat more than you, so you better be order some midnight snacks for him."

"He's in charge of my food? He'll poison me!"

"No he won't. He'll also be staying by your side every minute of the day unless he's cooking for you. And your opinion is his opinion."

"He mentioned something about me giving him lashes. Does that tie into this mission?" Kanda said remembering Allen's outburst.

"Yeah, if he speaks ill of you, you either have you give him ten lashes or he might be put to death."

Kanda looked at Koumi with an expression of shock on his face. The only way Kanda could be in the same room as Moyashi was to be picking a fight with him. And now for the next month he and Allen would be together most of the time and they had to pretend to like it.

"Can't Lavi do this instead? The Moyashi likes him more and everything," Kanda asked actually trying to get out of a mission.

"Nope, first of all if any of the wives are hit on by another man then the woman will be killed. We can't trust Lavi to keep his hormones in check."

"There's really no one else that can do this?" Kanda asked not really wanting to admit defeat.

"Nope, now listen Kanda I know you don't have the best history with Allen. I have enough broken walls to prove that to anyone, but I need you to do this. I need you to make sure Allen's not going to be killed. Can you do that Kanda? Can you protect him?" Koumi asked being serious for once in his life.

"Why can't he do it himself?" Kanda asked in a huff.

"Allen doesn't know this, but we'll be giving him some medication to prevent him from invocating while your there. It'll also make his arm take on a flesh tone."

"Fine Koumi, I'll do it," Kanda said standing up to leave.

"One more things Kanda," Koumi called. "No one can find out that you're under cover. It would be bad for both of you."

"I understand." Kanda turned and left the room. So he would be in charge of Allen for a whole month? He was going to be Allen's protector, and his (he shivered at the thought) husband.

"Great, because Karma just loves me, doesn't it?" he muttered under his breath and he headed down towards the training area. He might as well get some relief before the mission.


"Linalee," Allen said as he looked down at what he was wearing. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"No, why would you say something like that Allen?" Linalee said hiding a smile.

"Well, this might just be my imagination, but the amount of clothing on my body seems to be shrinking."

"Allen! I'm just trying to find the best length that will accentuate your female body traits. Like your wonderful curves," she explained.

"I don't have curves!" Allen said panicked. "I'm a boy; I'm supposed to be all chiseled, and manly, and rugged."

"Like Kanda?" Linalee said off handily.

"Yes, like Kanda."

"So you admit you admit that you've looked at Kanda like that?"

"What? No! It's just that the time I had to bandage him up, he was topless…"

"Really? His top was completely destroyed?"

"No, I took it off to inspect his wounds."

"Oh, so what you meant to say was that you took advantage of Kanda in his weakened state?"


"So you care about him?"


"So now we're back at the taking advantage theory."


And speak of the devil, Kanda chose this moment to enter the room.

"You tried to take advantage of me moyashi? That's a new low for you," he said smirking.

"I, IN NO WAY, TOUCHED YOU INAPPROPIATELY!" Allen screamed his face turning a nice shade of red.

"How would I know that? I wasn't even awake at the time," Kanda said making it seem even worse.

"Allen, I'm shocked. You undressed him when he wasn't even there to enjoy it," Linalee said. Now it was Kanda's turn to be embarrassed.

"And why would I have enjoyed it?" Kanda asked.

"Because I'm sure when Allen was taking your top off he accidentally on purpose stroked your chest."

"And why would I enjoy that?" Kanda asked.

"Because his feather light touches would have sent your skin on fire causing you to moan his name softly."

"Linalee…" Allen said.

"And then you'd take him into his arms, and feverishly kiss his scar and the rest of his face, then his neck, and you'd slowly yet teasingly trail your mouth down his chest, stopping only to undo the buttons of his shirt…" Linalee continued making both boys blush red.

"Linalee," Allen tried again a little bit louder.

"And as you saw Allen's creamy pale chest you'd lean forward and take one of his nipples into your mouth…"

"LINALEE!!!" Kanda yelled. Allen was currently passed out on the floor from all the blood rushing to his head.

"Oh, yes?" she asked sweetly.

"That never happened. And I can promise you that it never will happen. EVER."

"Not even if we covered Allen in honey?"

"No, I'd put him in a bears den."

"What if you got Allen to whisper sweet nothing into your ear in Japanese?"

"He'd never do that."

"What if we tied his arms and legs to your bed with his shirt open and kitty ears on top of his head with a collar around his neck that said 'To Kanda'?"

"Your sick, you know that right?" Kanda asked.

"It's for your own good," Linalee said.


"Really? And you never thought about it yourself?"

"No," Kanda said. "I have never thought about anyone in that manner."

"So does that mean you don't like girls or boys?"

"I don't know."

"Well, you better start liking boys that look like girls. Because Allen's going to be you're dearly beloved for a while," Linalee said walking off.

"Great," Kanda muttered looking at the unconscious boy. He began to kick the boy lightly with his foot. "Wake up Dear," he said as Allen's eyes opened.

"Kanda?" He asked confused. "Why are you in my room?"

"I'm not, you passed out here."


"You'll remember in about a minute or so," Kanda said as he left the room.




"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed. Apparently he didn't need a minute to remember.

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