Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters that belong to the saga of "Twilight" written by Stephenie Meyer.
Author's Note: Another attempt of a fan fiction. I just recently bought the auto book to Eclipse (my first in that sort of collection—and I have to say it's a completely different experience to listen to the books instead of reading it for myself. It's more of a clearer view for me of each character.—I really highly recommend it) I've become almost overwhelmed with Edward and his feelings for Bella, and Bella's feelings for Edward. So—here it is. A piece of Eclipse in my own words and thoughts.
There would be no sleeping tonight.
I couldn't get the fact that I was putting everyone else in danger out of my mind. The faces of everyone scanned through my mind as I laid there silently. I suddenly wished that Edward hadn't left my side. I had the strongest urge to go outside and let the mysterious vampires have me.
I didn't want Jacob…and his friends, nor Edward and his family to get hurt…killed, all for the sake of me. I just wanted everyone to be safe, and if it meant giving up my life for them…for Edward, for Charlie…
It would probably be the most selfish thing I ever did…
I wanted to take things into my own hands and fix things, …finish things before they got way out of hand. We took a life, and in the end…Victoria would take mine.
But I would give her my life… as long as it kept Edward and the Cullen Family safe… and as long as Charlie was kept out of harms way. Left out of the secrets, left out of danger.
My thoughts were startled when I saw Edward come through my window. I sat up in bed—startled. "I thought you said you had to go home and talk to Carlisle."
Edward smiled—smooth and gentle, "I did already. I decided to come back. I had a feeling you wouldn't be sleeping."
"I can't sleep when you're not here." I said with a blush.
He came to my side at once, and laid down beside me.
"I can't live without you…" He murmured sweetly in my ear. My skin shivered, and I smiled, closing my eyes and tucking my chin on his shoulder.
I didn't ever want to live without Edward…and that was why I wanted to avoid any war with Victoria and the new born vampires, at any cost.
My thoughts drifted to Jacob for a moment. I didn't want my friend to be attacked either. The world would grow dimmer. It just wouldn't be the same without my dear friend Jacob. Even though…he was making things hard for me. I didn't know how I felt about him, or his quick kisses that he passed on me—but I knew deep inside my heart, I would never love anyone like I loved Edward.
I felt his hand graze my hand, and our fingers intermixed. I smiled, touching his cold finger tips with mine. His white skin next to my warm, cream skin. He was so beautiful. I didn't want him to ever get hurt.
"Bella. I wish you would trust me. Trust my family. Everything will be alright."
"I do…" I murmured. "I just don't trust the others. The enemies. I don't know how far they'll go…to win."
"They'll never get past us, Bella. Not with Jacob and his friends, nor with Emmett and Jasper…they know what they're getting themselves into."
I felt tears fill my eyes.
"I'm just afraid."
"I know. But it's alright." He murmured, and gently kissed my forehead.
"This will be all over soon, and it'll just seem like a nightmare for you."
"It's too real to even imagine it as a nightmare."
He touched my cheek and sighed. "Bella. I promise nothing will happen to us."
"To me. Nothing will happen to me either."
We laid there silently for a few moments. I felt like I was acting childish. Selfish even. I felt his tighten his grip a little bit, and I did the same. I just didn't want to let go of something that I had almost lost forever.
"Do you want to sleep now?"
I shook my head quickly. I just wanted to lay there with him. Enjoy his company. I wanted nothing more than be in his arms forever.
"Do you want me to go?"
I quickly clung to him. "No!" He chuckled lightly. "Alright, I won't go."
"Then you should sleep Bella. You'll feel a lot better in the morning."
I couldn't believe him. Not even if I wanted to.
But I did try. I closed my eyes and laid my head down next to his. I felt his lips touch mine and he whispered softly, "I love you," against them.
He held me close and sung me my lullaby.