Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to anything ... anywhere etc.
A/N: Alright so, I found myself in a very POOPY mood, so I had to write! It was also inspired by a quote from the movie Good Will Hunting, said by the character Prof. Lambeau (I think), "Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there."
There are certain times every so often (not too often) that Eric Delko wishes he had never met Calleigh Duquesne. Those times usually come to him after a long, hard day at work when he begins to think of her too much. But most of the time it comes after he works a case with her for long hours, days, even weeks at a time.
Now, normally he would love working cases with Calleigh. She's smart, great at what she does, determined, observant, hard working ... all those things that make a great CSI, and a great partner to work with.
Aside from her terrific work qualities, she is... was (maybe, he doesn't know) his best friend. And even though he'd always wanted a bit more than friendship from her, he respected the fact that it was not professional (she's a stickler for that) and he'd also enjoyed their friendship too much to make a move. Besides, he was content simply revelling in her presence, watching her blonde hair glimmer in the Miami sun, enjoying her wide smile and her contagious laugh and partaking in her cautious yet bubbly flirting. He even enjoyed the more serious side of Calleigh, the side most people at work saw and knew her as. He especially liked the way her brow would furrow only so slightly when working with a particularly large mound of evidence or when her face would go so straight and serious when she presented her findings from bullet comparisons. He'd laughed at her a few times for it and earned a comical slap on the arm and an "Oh be quiet Eric!"
And he was content for most of the long years of their friendship. That was until the roots of their friendship grew farther into romantic territory, around the time he'd gotten shot. He'd thought he'd seen some of those more than friendly feelings surface in her, and he was quite sure she was aware of them too. But then Jake came back. Not that he blames the guy because if it had been him, he would've come back too.
Come to think of it, he wouldn't have left in the first place.
But that certainly wasn't the case otherwise he wouldn't be where he is . . . having these thoughts.
At first he'd felt guilty and childish for having such thoughts, but after he'd contemplated it for a while he'd realised it wasn't because he hates her for getting back with Jake and not even entirely because she was denying her feelings for him.
It's because she's too wonderful. She's too perfect. And sometimes it hurts too much to know she's right in front of him being wonderful and perfect and he can't be with her. He can't enjoy her wonderful perfectness in the way he really wants to. It's hard for him to know there's someone this incredible right here in front of him, slowly slipping from his grasp.
This way at least if he'd never known her, he'd never know there could be someone this wonderful and perfect and incredible in the world, and maybe he could get some sleep at night or maybe not be so sad all the time.
And as immature as all of it sounds, that's the way he feels.
And because of this 'every so often', he wishes he had never met her. Only for a few seconds though, because he know his mother would be furious with him for entertaining such thoughts.
Besides, they are not so much as thoughts, but secret wishes. The kind of secret wishes you want in the heat of the moment, the kind only the smallest part of you wants, while the rest of you (the more rational part of you) doesn't. The kind you wish for to come and take the pain away, even if it's only for a while.
The kind of wishes you know will never come true, and that's mostly why you wish for them, because it gives you some sort of temporary hope without any actual repercussions.
And as redundantly immature as these thoughts continue to sound, all he has left in the Calleigh department is temporary hope and some semblance of a friendship (compared to what they used to have).
And that is why every so often (not too often), Eric Delko wishes he had never met Calleigh Duquesne.
A/N: It was short, but I could ramble on and on and on about this and you would just be sleeping and drooling on your keyboards, which would eventually turn into some nasty electrical malfunctions or mild electrocution. And I wouldn't want that! But what I do want is Feedback! And criticism! I love it all... One thing I would like feedback on is if I made him sound too pathetic here. Pathetic-o-meter;
1(barely pathetic) ----5(sort of pathetic) ----10(suck it up and take it like a man Eric! A.K.A So pathetic!!)
((Also PM's are very very welcome (desperately wanted) for some suggestions/help? for my other story,Turnaround or just message me a slap in the face to knock out the writer's block!))