Team Rocket Finally Gets Somewhere


A oneshot. Eh.


Jessie, James, and Meowth sighed as their bellies grumbled for the sixth time that week. It was a cold night.

" Our paycheck sucks. Why can't that bastard ever give us a pay raise ? " Jessie commented.

" We never get any pokemon, " James said.

" And he hates us. Last time we called, he didn't even know who you two were, " Meowth added.

" Let's prank call him ! " Jessie said.

James peed in his pants. " Are you ----ing crazy ? He will kill us if we did that ! "

" Yeah, but we suck anyway, so... what the hell ? "

Jessie started to dial a number. A very agitated voice answered it. " Hello ? "

" Hi, is your refrigerator running ? " Jessie asked.

" Uh, yeah. "

" Well , you better catch it, you f---er ! " Jessie happily replied, throwing the cellphone in the pond.

" You know we're going to get fired for this, right ? " James said.

" Yeah. I've been wanting to tell Giovanni off for ages, though. He's been pissing me off. "

" So... what do we do now ? " Meowth inquired.

" Uh, I heard that the twerp's mom makes awesome food. Let's go there ! "

So the three idiots left the twerp to act like an idiot while they went to Pallet Town. Jessie knocked on the door, and Delia opened the door. " Hi ! I guess you haven't stolen Ash's Pikachu yet, huh ? "

" Nope. Uh, we're kinda out of a job, so lady... can you give us some food to eat ? " Jessie asked.

Delia gave a small grin. " No problem with me. I need you to do one favor for me, though... "

Five minutes later, Jessie, James, and Meowth were standing outside of Professor Oak's house. Jessie sighed. " Okay. We do what we need to do, and we pretend we never did it, okay ? "

" Sure, Jessie, " James said, rolling his eyes.

Jessie knocked on the door and Professor Oak answered it. Jessie shot him, and the old man croaked. James flipped his hair. " I wonder why the twerp's mom told us to shoot Professor Oak. He seemed like such a nice guy, " he muttered.

" I dunno. She said something about him being a pervert. Anyway, let's get back to her house before the cops come, " Jessie said, grunting as she quickly fled the scene of the crime.

(Two weeks later...)

" Wow. The twerp's mom really is a better boss than our own one ! " Jessie said.

" Yeah ! She may only pay three dollars an hour, but that's better than what we used to get paid ! " James chimed in.

" What, fifty dollars and a half a piece of jerky every week ? "

" Yeah. "

Meowth gave a grin as he took a couple of weeds out of the garden. " And we never have to go back to that douchebag again ! At least Miss Delia treats us with dignity ! She even offered to train me ! I could finally learn pay day ! "

" In your dreams, Meowth, " Jessie said, snickering.

" Hey, I already started to train ! I'm now at level twenty - two ! "

James patted Meowth on the back. " That's good, buddy ! "

The three ex - criminals all started to laugh and after a while, James's cellphone began to vibrate. He picked it up. " Hello ? James the Gardener speaking. "

" Gardener ?! You three fail me all the time and now you're a gardener ?! "

Meowth glared at the phone. " Who is it, James ? "

" The old boss. We never did tell him that we quit, either, " James replied.

" Here. Let me have it. "

James handed Meowth the phone. " Hello ? "

" YOU THREE ARE GOING TO GET IT ! "

Meowth sighed and rolled his eyes. " Eh. ---- you, Giovanni. We quit as of two weeks ago. "

Meowth hung up the phone and threw it very far away. Jessie grinned. " Now we'll never be bothered again. "

" Yep. We finally did something right. Now, let's get married ! " James replied.

Epilogue :

Jessie and James get married somewhere in Pallet Town. Meowth ends up staying with the twerp's mom and learns pay day four months later. Nobody found out that Professor Oak got shot. (And nobody really cared.) Later on, they shot the twerp, and he didn't die (damn it ! ) . And as for their old boss, he fell off a cliff while he was drunk on scotch.


Damn it ! Ash didn't die !