Hoshi no Yoshi
Yoshizilla: Yeah, I know it kinda seems sorta too late for it, but! I decided to make...a talk-show fanfic. One that stars Yoshi. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Yoshi belongs to Nintendo. Peppy Ankylosaurus and Dr. Hoshi belong to Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus.
(insert Space Ghost: Coast to Coast theme here)
Yoshi rolls into the stage set in his green-spotted egg. He hatches out, and is applauded by the large audience. "Welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the show! I'm Yoshi, your talk-show host for all of time!" He cackled evilly, rubbing his hands.
The audience gave Yoshi an odd look. A random guy coughed.
Yoshi chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "Hehehe...sorry about that. I always get like that when I want attention." He cleared his throat and got into his talk-show chair. "Anyway, we don't really have any actual guests tonight, so I would like to start off by talking...to one of the show's producers!"
The audience murmured as Bowser walked onto the stage, receiving applause from most of the other audience members.
"It's good to be here, Yoshi," Bowser admitted as he sat down in the guest chair.
Yoshi smiled, sipping some of his coffee from his mug. "Thanks, Bowser. Anyway, as the writer for my new talk-show, what do you think?" He asked.
Bowser scoffed, folding his arms. "What do I think? I think this talk-show sucks!"
"Hey!" Yoshi shouted back angrily, feeling insulted.
"We don't even have an actual guest! Talk about stupidity!" Bowser cleverly pointed out, the audience agreeing.
"You'll get fired if you continue this outrage..." Yoshi muttered angrily, trying to keep his cool.
"Outrage? What do you mean? I'm not angry." Bowser stated, tapping his fingertips.
Yoshi blinked. "You're not?"
"No." Bowser simply stated, shrugging.
Yoshi looked at the audience. "Oh."
".. ... .. .. ... I just feel that the talk-show is really stupid without a guest. Albeit, a famous guest." Bowser throughly explained.
Yoshi rubbed his chin, and he nodded in agreement. "Hmm, you do have a good point there. But why bother when they're going to ask the same question?"
"I beg your pardon?" Bowser asked, blinking.
Yoshi pulled his chair closer to Bowser. "You and I both know, Bowser, that no matter what situation it is, famous guests will always state the same thing, whether it's good or bad."
Bowser sighed, frowning. "It's just another example on how originality has finally died out."
Yoshi nodded in agreement, sipping his coffee from his mug. "You're telling me. And did you hear about that one guy named-"
"KILL THE EMPIRE?" Bowser interrupted.
Yoshi stared blankly at Bowser, and remembering what he was going to say, he nodded. "Yeah, that guy. He always makes parodies of these kinds of things!"
"Yeah, because his parodies are stupid, but yet funny and entertaining at the same time. And it points out things that are obvious." Bowser added, proving the point further.
"Like how Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus needs to stop using Dr. Hoshi and Peppy Ankylosaurus." Yoshi stated, smiling widely.
Dr. Hoshi gave Yoshi and Bowser an angry glare from the right side of the set, alongside with an enraged Peppy Ankylosaurus (who was foaming at the mouth upon hearing this). "We are working on this show too, you know," He admitted, pointing his finger at Yoshi.
Yoshi blinked, putting his mug down. "Wait, you guys are actually helping me with the talk-show?"
Peppy rolled his eyes. "Duh! Why did you bribe us? We're your best friends, and plus, everyone knows how cheap you are." The yellow Ankylosaurus barked.
Yoshi got angry, folding his arms. "Well! If I'm so cheap, then tell me why I'm doing better than those swordsmen," He retorted cleverly.
"Because, the swordsmen are handsome," Dr. Hoshi explained, the highly intelligent elder purple Yoshisaurus pulling out a chart out of nowhere and pointing at the chart with a long stick. "As it has been stated many times before and now, and will most likely in the future, the Super Smash brothers category was a happy little place. Many came to enjoy the pure essence of it." He then pointed at some point below. "Now we have the Smashers. And all of the Smashers that are human and pretty (not including Mario, Luigi, Dr. Mario, Ness, Lucas, Popo, or Nana) manage to get all of the attention, where all of the other Smashers..." He pointed at yoshi and Bowser. "...Like you and Bowser there, yoshi, are neglected and left out of the spotlight, to rot in undeserved hell." He cleared his throat. "And sadly, most original characters either help or ruin the situation with this gripe." He let out a sigh of relief. "Thankfully, I don't do any romantic things around any fanfics, but I'm a bit worried about peppy there..."
"What about me?" Peppy asked as he was trying to walk on a there thin rope fifteen feet above the studio set, falling down and fracturing his head.
Dr. Hoshi sighed, taking off his light-blue glasses and putting them in the right pocket of his white lab coat. "Well, Peppy, unlike myself, you are very stupid, and thus, the most likely original character that Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus created to be used for many purposes. You could even get a romance fanfic between you and..." he shuddered. "...Zelda..."
Peppy's eyes widened with horror. "No...NO!!!" He ran out of the studio, and attempted suicide. He failed, and instead was sent to the nearby mental institution.
Dr. Hoshi sighed, and he placed his stick and the chart away. "Well, I might as well be going if I can't get my point out." With that said, he left the set.
Yoshi was quiet, and he looked at Bowser. "So, about originality, what makes you think it's gone?"
Bowser sighed. "Well, maybe not ALL of originality, but a majority of it has definitely disappeared." He whispered into Yoshi's ear, "Do you know how much Zelda: Ocarina of Time ripped off from Super Mario 64-"
SLAP!!! Yoshi slapped Bowser with a white fan.
"First off, don't ever mention that game on my talk show again," Yoshi growled angrily, clearing his throat, "And secondly, how do you know this stuff?"
Bowser coughed a bit, rubbing the back of his head. 'Well, everyone practically knows that Ganondorf is just another villain based around me. He practically did the same thing I did, only they made him uglier, and stupider."
Ganondorf can be seen in the audience, crying his eyes out as he blew his nose on a used handkerchief.
Yoshi was silent. "Well, I don't know what to say." He leaned back in his chair, and then fell off backwards, making everyone (except the crying Ganondorf) laugh out loud. Yoshi moaned, rubbing his head ads he got back up and placed his talk-show chair up. "I hate it when that happens," Yoshi stated as he sat in the chair.
Bowser gave Yoshi and odd look. 'Wait a minute, how the hell do you know this happens? This is the first episode!" He pointed out, standing up from his chair.
Yoshi shook his head, rolling his pencil. "Bowser, Bowser, Bowser... how many times do I have to remind you? This is a planned talk-show. Everything is not live when we do this."
"But we're live right now!" Bowser shouted, grabbing Yoshi by the neck and pointing at the audience, "What, you think those audience members don't exist?"
Yoshi gulped. "Well... at least they're not as ugly as the audience members in madden 2004," He pointed out, smiling meekly.
The audience gasped, and they got up, enraged at what Yoshi said. Yoshi gasped, and he struggled to get out of Bowser's grip, calling back his now lost audience members. Ganondorf, still crying after being insulted by Bowser, was the only member of the former audience left.
"Wait! I didn't mean it!" Yoshi shouted, before he cursed, "Damn it. Thanks a lot, Bowser," He snapped, biting Bowser's hand and getting free, falling down to the ground and quickly sitting back in his chair.
Bowser scoffed, massaging his bitten hand. "Yeah, well, at least I don't have to brush my teeth every five minutes after I eat!"
Yoshi gasped, and he got onto his desk, getting into a fighting stance. "Is that a challenge, tubby!?" Yoshi angrily shouted, growling.
Bowser, now enraged, stood up and grabbed Yoshi by the neck again. "You bet it is, Yoshisaurus scum!" He punched Yoshi, but the green Yoshisaurus managed to strike back at the Koopa king, and the two reptilian Smashers started fighting with each other, ruining the set.
Charizard then came in, holding a letter. "Guys," He started as Yoshi and Bowser continued fighting with each other, "The network has called in. They have officially cancelled us."
However, Charizard was accidentally knocked unconscious, as Yoshi and Bowser continued beating the living tar out of each other, while a bawling Ganondorf rocked back and forth in his seat.