Elite Creatures Unleashed Encore!

Chapter 5: Driving Tests and Recollections

By: Arcanomancer

Well, After two years I'm starting to feel the urge to do more and more again… I must admit it has been far to long…

Gervaise: Why for did I do the Acrobatics last time?

Dunno, I wanted to end on a flourish…

Kaleb: And you were ignored!

AAA

Disclaimer: Still don't own em…

Lets Rock and Roll… or roll some rocks…

AA

As the Elites all gathered, racing back towards the dungeon was a certain Mini, music blaring from the open windows as the Princes and Reaper sang to their hearts content, Mike quickly filling in every box on his clipboard with ticks and Brian just bouncing in rhythm.

Horny: Sex Bomb, Sex Bomb…

Baldur: You're a sex bomb!

Felix: And you can give it to me when I need to come along…

Tristan: Sex Bomb, Sex Bomb, You're a Sex Bomb…

Brian: DON'T TOUCH MY ARSE!

A

Back in the dungeon, the Casino was full of action, the Imps working hard to replace the massive hole left by the Reapers Mini previously as Irvine looked around, rubbing his chin and sighing.

Irvine: That's everyone… hang on, where's Gervaise gone too?

Gervaise: I'm right here, by the kegs…

He grunted, and the Keeper looked over to see the Rogue trying to force a certain blue armoured knight away from the tap.

Gervaise: Let go Kaleb… Time to say Bye Bye to Mrs. Keggy-Weggy and listen to the Keeper…

Kaleb: -Slurring very drunkenly- Is like a nipple… Is give me beer an stuff…

He crashed out over the Roulette table, giggling to himself as the Keeper levitated above the ground and nodded.

Irvine: Right, you all need to know the reason of the sudden disappearance and the reason the dungeon fell before…

Kessler: Yea, and what happened to our Allies?

Zachariah: I was popular with one of em…

Gervaise: And I miss the torture room full of leather clad, sultry… Oooo…

The Keeper sighed and facepalmed.

Irvine: From what I've sensed and felt, Keepers either Fled once the battle commenced or died during infighting… the Blue Dungeon is unaccounted for but the rest all seem hollow haunted empty halls of…

Almeric: -Interrupting- So what your basically saying is… All these Dungeons are sitting here, UNUSED?

Irvine: That's the size of it…

Dominique: Imps, Left Right and Center!

The Keeper laughed as the Imps all saluted and charged off and around, searching for something to do whilst a good number of them just ran off to claim the other dungeons.

Gervaise: I'm not satisfied about something… Kaleb, Your with me…

Kaleb: DARLING!

The Knight threw himself over the Rogue, and Gervaise sighed as he ambled towards the Dungeon Heart where their keeper had gone.

A

Roaring to a Halt, the Horny-mobile landed in front of the Hero Keep, north of the dungeon as Mike got out and smiled widely at the tall red demon that squeezed out.

Mike: Congratulations Ms. Reaper, You have passed One Hundred Percent…

Horny: Congratulations to Me, Bloody Brilliant!

He cheered and skipped, the Princes clapping politely behind him whilst Brian bounced on the spot and sighed

Brian: GNOME GO HOME… Hmm, Whats this?

He noted the especially long chain that disappeared into the distance and gave it an almighty tug, at first nothing happened so he grunted and gave another, almighty pull.

After a minute, the sound of gleeful squealing got louder and louder, until eventually a flying pink fuzzball impacted crotch first with his face.

Brian: GNOMEY! FANCY A SCREW DARLING?!

Sighing, She jumped off and headbutted him in the nuts, The Guards coughing as a Monk walked up and bowed.

Monk: Begging yer Pardon Mike, Ms Reaper, But we need your help right away Mike, a new Organisation seeks to destroy HALFWITS ownership of the roads…

Mike: This is an Outrage! Who?

Monk: They call themselves the 'Creature Liberation Internal Treatese Operating Riskily Inside Society'

The two charged off, leaving the Princes sighing.

Baldur: Don't they know the Abbreviation of that is Cli…

Horny: STOP THERE BOYS, INTO THE CAR!

He crammed them all in.

Brian: I'M BRIAN BLESSED!

Horny: YOU'RE BRIAN BLESSED, IN!

He booted the large one into the back of the Mini and sped off, back towards the dungeon whereupon he crashed straight through the casino wall and landed on top of a certain Dark Mistress.

Horny: Well hello my dear… I've been a very… Naughty Reaper…

Dominique: Of course you have!

She dropped him and got back to drinking and from the distance, a chorus of squeaky voices yelled something along the lines of 'We just Mended that You Bastard!'.

A

Gervaise and Kaleb folded their arms as their Keeper worked his magic at the dungeon heart, smiling to himself as he finally re-conjured his Hand of Evil, and upon kneeling a single long flash re-signalled his full return to power.

Irvine: To what do I owe this honour, Gentlemen?

Kaleb: Gervaisey has… Hic! Somethin' ta ask… HIC!

Kaleb collapsed back against the wall, Gervaise shrugging and grinning.

Gervaise: There's something you missed, I can tell by looking at you… What really happened to you once you were banished by the Outside Forces?

Irvine sighed and looked down into the heart, chuckling.

Irvine: I'll tell you… If Kaleb removes his helmet

Suddenly, the Knight INSTANTLY sobered up and assumed a defensive posture

Kaleb: WHAATTTTT??!?!!

Gervaise: I bet his mother fed him with the Helmet on…

Kaleb shrugged

Kaleb: Yea, I got Rust on her boobies…

The Keeper wanted to question Kaleb being born in armor, but decided against it and shrugged, placing a hand on the hip of his purple tunic.

Irvine: That's the offer, Take it or leave it…

Kaleb sighed and looked around, dismissing the Imps within the Heart Area and locking the door…

A

Kessler: I don't believe this…

A loud sigh escaped the Vampires lips, and as he slumped down into his coffin a certain Dark Elf looked over from her mushroom where she was curled up.

Zenobia: Whats wrong Kessler? Chickens been trying to peck yer Gonads again?

Kessler: No, Incidentally my invention of the Chicken-burger went down well!

He gave a dramatic pose before falling back down and holding a hand to his bald head.

Kessler: Theres been to major laughs this Chapter, You'd think at least one joke woulda happened by now!

Zenobia wondered what he meant, simply shrugging and returning to sleep whilst Kessler shrugged and cupped his hands around his mouth to yell.

Kessler: BREASTS!

A flying shoe connected with the Vampires Forehead and knocked him out.

Zenobia: You know I don't approve of that sort of thing…

Knud: I don't think he meant yours…

She looked over at the sprawled out troll and blinked, grinning and looking back to the swirly eyed Vampire.

Zenobia: My bad, Carry on Kessly!

A

Mike: CHICKENS!

The new organisation seemed unfazed as weapons were bought to bear against them, and the Rebel Creatures clashed with the Heroes in one unstoppable brawl, the noises were many and varied, here are some of the remarkable ones.

"That Armour Hurts the fists!"

"Hit it with yer sword!"

"Try not to make a mess when I bash yer head in, would you?"

"I'm putting in for a Promotion!"

"HALFWITS Will emerge from this on top!"

"Hit it with a Stick!"

"Sod this, It's Payday…"

Both forces suddenly stopped and retreated to the Treasury, and upon returning to the battlefield they found the place deserted and empty.

Elven Archer: Aww, Damn it, we were winning!

Mike: You can say that again, Longears… I'm going to file that Promotion to Royal Guard…

Monk: How uncouth of them to not want to play… We cant find them now…

Mike: Given the abbreviation of their Acronym is Cli…

A cough came from behind him.

Mike: …ris, I should imagine it would be Very hard to find in the first place unless shoved in our faces like now…

He went inside, missing the bright red face of Longears and the teasing she was receiving from the other Guards.

A

Kaleb: Right, you better not bleedin' tell…

Kaleb undid the clasps as Gervaise and Irvine watched intently, and as the Helmet slowly raised off the Knights head, Horny burst through the door at the entrance to the Heart, the shock making Kaleb lose his grip and the helm tumbled to the floor.

Horny: Oi, Irvine, I'm Contracting British-itus like you… I want some tea and to moan and… to…

He stared…

Gervaise and Irvine Stared…

They Blinked…

Horny, Gervaise AND Irvine Stared…

Kaleb felt uneasy…

They Blinked again…

As the Helm fell away, a long long trail of blonde hair cascaded down around the Knights shoulders, and upon looking up with the formerly Red glowing eyes, now glowing blue, the Keeper pointed as all three of them blinked rapidly.

Irvine: Your… A… GIRL?!?!?

Kaleb shrugged and responded in a VERY different, and highly female sounding voice to the booming Manly one before

Kaleb: You Better believe it, Now start talking Mister before I Boot you ALL in the Portal Gems!

AA

Theres a twist, who was expecting that one? I mean… I was actually thinking of something like this, The Elites needed at least one more woman, and the one hidden in Armor was the only one I could think of, this opens up so much more potential…

Gervaise: Prepare for the fanrush Kaleb…

Kaleb: I fear nothing!

Gervaise: You wait for Rule 34 to kick in…

Arcanomancer, Signing out!