Love Has No Eyes
Sumary: a set of drabbles on Tezuka's POV, about the love he felt for Fuji and the development of their relationship. I'm not good at summary so please just read, ne?
Disclaimer: Tezuka and Fuji belong to each other. I'm not gonna take any risk of claiming Fuji and getting shot a death-glare form Tezuka and running laps for the rest of my life, nor would I claim Tezuka and God knows what bad things will happen to me when Fuji reveals those blue orbs witn that evil smile XD
Oh, and of course I DO NOT own the song lyrics I used in this fic. Credits go to BIP, the creator and singer of the song.
A/N: Well, I'm in the mood for angst, ahahah, sorry… (sweatdrops)
Special thanks to Lizzie (gold.paperclips) for beta-ing this.
Anyway, this is fic is full of first times for me!
This is the first time I've done from first person POV, first time I wrote in a march-drabbles-up format, and first time I used a song lyrics XD
I was inspired by an Indonesian song from BIP called "Cinta tak punya mata" or roughly translated into "Love has no eyes". Yes, I took it for the title as well. Sorry I'm not creative enough… anyway I roughly translated the lyric myself, so sorry if it's not quite rhythmical.
The italics in the beginning of every drabbles are parts of the song's lyrics.
(Italics inside this are thoughts)
Even if you are not mine
Just like this time
But my heart will not regret
He never knew.
Or at least that's what I thought, since I never told him anything, nor did I show it to him.
But I didn't mind. As long as he was there, standing beside me, smiling at me...
It was enough.
Till I am not willing
To pass the day without you
Even when no one agreed
"Fuji's absent, nya! He caught a cold. Well, only idiots don't catch colds, ne[1 Nya, does that mean that he got a very bad cold? He's a tensai after all!"
"Eiji, you don't make any sense," Oishi tapped Kikumaru's shoulder.
"Kikumaru, Oishi. Get to court B, now!" I barked with annoyance. They should be practicing, not fooling around.
As I watched their match, I stole a glance to my side.
I felt hollow.
Indeed, love has no eyes
Its greatness blinds anyone
Indeed, love doesn't care
Everyone can, can fall in love
Sometimes, I would wonder.
Why did it have to be him who I've fallen for, when we're both guys?
Why did love pick me to fall into it?
Then, I realized.
You cannot question 'love'.
You can only feel it.
As long as you understand
As long as you enjoy
Difference will not able to prevent
"I want to be with you," was all I could say to express how I was in love with him and how I wanted him to be mine and mine only. Unlike him, I was never good at words.
And he knew that.
"I am a selfish person, Tezuka."
"I know." (So am I)
"I may annoy you when I want to talk much about random things, yet you prefer silence."
"You never annoy me enough." (I love to hear your voice)
"I may give you many headaches."
"You already did. Many times." (I can, and will take it as long as you're the cause)
Fuji stunned for a second, then he smiled, his eyes fluttered open, revealing the blue orbs I just realized that I had always found it beautiful.
"Even so, you still want to be with me?"
"Yes, I am." (And I will never let go)
He stepped closer to me; his eyes pierced into mine.
"Then let me say this, Tezuka," he said with a serious look on his face.
I stared back into his eyes. I tried to steel up my inside. If he were to reject me, then I…
"I love you, Kunimitsu."
Being with you
I still feel happy
Although there's more of the pain
"Kunimitsu," my mom called after Fuji had left my house. "Aren't you… getting a little too close with Fuji-kun?" she asked.
I stiffened for a second, but I quickly regained my composure.
I did not want to lie to my mother. I took a deep breath, before I could finally said, "I love him."
My mother looked shocked, as I had expected. For a few moments, she did not say a word, and merely studied my face, in disbelief.
"But Kunimitsu, it's wrong for you to…"
"Mother," I called her, effectively cutting her off. I knew it wasn't polite to do so, but I wanted to let my mother, my very own mother, to know and understand me.
"I am happy being with him," I told her. This time, looking right into her eyes.
True, I was happy to be with Fuji, but… was I being selfish?
Only to you, only for you
I have already given my heart
Only to you, only for you
I have already given
All of my love
"How is your mother?" he asked, as he caressed my head which I rested on his shoulder.
I did not answer. I just didn't know what to say. Sure, I had thought of the possibility of my mother's disapproval. But now that it had happened, I didn't know what to do. It was generous of her already, for not telling my father and my grandfather.
My mind was in chaos. It was far harder than to think about how to win a match against one Atobe Keigo.
And it hurt much more than to think that I might break my shoulder…
"Mitsu, maybe it's still not too late now," Fuji said. His tone was different than usual.
I lifted my head off his shoulder and threw him a questioning look.
"You know, if it's so hard on you," he paused. I could see his revealed blue orbs shone… no, teary might be the word. He forced a smile, and continued, "We can break up," he said. And as soon as the words escaped his mouth, a single tear fell from his left eye, and another followed from his right.
I pulled him into a tight embrace. I realized that this was not the time to get confused.
This was the time when I really needed to be strong.
"No," I said. "I will convince her, no matter what."
"But Mitsu, you…"
"I will never let you go, Shusuke," I whispered in his ear.
I could feel his arms tightened around me, and I tightened my arms around him too.
"I will never let you go," I whispered once more.
And I meant it.
Only this boy, I will not let go.
Because he was the one I had given my heart to.
Because he was the one I had given all of my love to.
And I would struggle for him no matter what.
Because I love him with all my heart.
[1 In Japan, there's a saying "Only idiots do not catch colds" XD
A/N: Uwaaah it turned out angstier then I had expected!! What happened to me?? It's just… the song… the song… aaah!! It's actually a soundtrack for Indonesian movie called "I Love You, Om". (Om means uncle). About a 12 years old girl who fell in love with a 27/28 years old man (and vice versa). But in the end, the man died. Oh, poor little girl…
If you read part of the song lyric from 1 to 6, it'll make the whole lyric.
By the way, the last one is long, ne? I think you can't call that a drabble? Or can you? Or I should call it a ficlet?
Anyway, I would love you to death if you will leave your reviews for this full-of-first-time fic of mine! And even if this wasn't good enough, just please... don't kill me .