A/N: My first SVU fic, just a little something that was in my head after 'Paternity.' Happy Reading.

Olivia's heart had damn near stopped when she heard Kathy's monitor flatline. She could only think of Elliot and his son, whom she held in her arms. Elliot had just gotten his life back and it had almost been taken away by some insignificant ass who had chosen to get behind the wheel after drinking too much.

Once the paramedic had gotten Kathy breathing again, Olivia did as well. Upon arriving at the hospital Kathy and the baby were quickly seen to and moved to a room. Olivia checked on them for a minute but then made her way outside to wait for Elliot.

She could feel the adrenaline quickly leave her system as her "flight or fight" response began to subside. Her thoughts turned to all that had taken place a short while ago. Just like the accident, everything afterwards had happened so fast. Her radio in for help, getting out the car, then climbing back in to help Kathy, and to helping her deliver her baby.

Through it all Olivia had been scared, especially from the moment when Kathy informed her that her water had broken. In all her years in the special victims unit Olivia Benson had never been in a situation as intense as the one today.

She sees Elliot rushing through the doors and goes to meet him. Saying his name she briefly reassures him by putting a hand on his arm. She watches him rush in then slowly backs up until her back touches the wall, giving them some privacy. She stares at the yellow duck next to the door, not really looking at it, her thoughts once again on the accident.

No words could describe how she felt the moment Olivia had come to and discovered Kathy unconscious. She had prayed to a God she did not believe in for Kathy and the baby to be alright.

Olivia is pulled from her thoughts when the door opens and Elliot walks out. From the look on his face she knows that everything will be fine. They stare at each other briefly. He begins to walk off and she turns to follow. Suddenly Elliot is pulling her into a hug. And her walls have dissolved in just an instant. She is shocked but too overwhelmed to care.

She is happy for him and at the same time a foreign emotion pulls at her chest. Her partner is already spoken for, but this man in her arms is not her partner. This is her friend, raw and vulnerable.

"You're okay," he softly breathes out.

Her eyes water slightly but she keeps them in check as he pulls back. Her breathing is off but she is quick to get it in control and hopes he didn't notice, but at the same time she knows he did. She smiles, reassuring him that she is indeed alive and unhurt. Her walls begin to rebuild themselves. And with the blink of an eye he is her partner again.

The water runs through her hair and down the rest of her body as she stands with her head bowed, as if it were holy water washing away her sins. The water washes away the grime from her hair and the blood that had got on her arms. However, the water cannot wash away the sound of the machine cutting Kathy out of the car or the long, steady beep of the heart monitor.

It has only begun to sink in that the car could have crashed into her side and there was no telling how bad her injuries would have been. The shower was one of the few places where Olivia allowed herself to be vulnerable, where she allowed herself to cry.

She cries for Elliot and his wife and son who had almost been lost. She cries for herself, that she had come out of the accident with barely a scratch on her. She had had too many close calls on her life lately.

Olivia turns the water off and grabs the towel off the toilet seat. Walking into the bedroom she dries off and throws on a pair of fleece pants and a tee shirt. As she slides the shirt on she thinks back to the hug she and Elliot had shared. It awakened thoughts in her, thoughts she had not allowed herself to associate with her partner.

She knew how well-built he was from working out but it was nothing compared to feeling his solid form against her body. In that moment she did not see him as her partner and friend; she saw him as the man he was in all the physical sense. Olivia pulls out the blow dryer and she thinks back to the way her body reacted to Elliot. After hugging him she had literally had to catch her breath.

She thought those feelings for him had went away a long time ago and had no clue as to when they had begun resurfacing. A part of it could have had to do with the showdown with Gitano. There was no way she could have ended her best friend's life. Not only was he the longest relationship she had had with a man, but the closest person she had to a family member as well.

It was out of the question to act on those feelings mainly because he already belonged to someone else and she knew he did not feel the same.

Olivia still felt on edge from all the excitement of the day and had to get out. Throwing on a matching jacket and some sneakers, she grabbed her keys and headed out the apartment. She didn't know where she was going but walking seemed like a good idea.

She wanted what Elliot had. Shortly after the Maria Recinos case she had given up on dating. It had been a while since she had even been sexually intimate with a man. She was envious of the type of concern he had shown for his wife as she had held the phone up to her ear. Sure he had been concerned for her as well but she was his partner and it came with the job. At the end of the day she just wanted to have someone to come home to.

It was unknown how long she had been walking but she had found her way back to her building. She was a bit shocked to see her partner leaning against it, waiting for her.