A/N: I think this is my favorite chapter so far, so let me know what you think. Happy Reading!
Elliot took his eyes off his computer screen for a moment to look over at Olivia. She had been sitting at her desk since they had brought Scott Ryland in for the murder of James Grall. He had left Olivia to her thoughts. That had been over an hour ago.
He thought back to when they were assigned the case a few days ago. He had been inconsiderate of her feelings toward the case. Not bothering to think how personal the case could have been for her, he'd just started shooting out his opinions about in vitro fertilization and freezing embryos.
As Elliot thought more about it he really didn't remember the last time she had been on a date. If she had, she said nothing to him about it. He had briefly wondered if there was anything between her and Agent Porter. She had been too comfortable working with him when they were looking for her brother.
He had been excited when she had confessed that she had looked into adoption. He believed that Olivia deserved a chance to be a mother.It didn't matter what kind of childhood she had. Elliot had wished there was something he could do.
For a split second he had thought about offering to help her, to actually volunteer to be a sperm donor. He'd immediately dismissed the idea. Olivia would probably laugh at him and not to mention it would be unprofessional. He'd been watching too many X-Files reruns late at night.
The phone on Olivia's desk started to ring, pulling Elliot from his thoughts. Olivia jumped at the noise and quickly answered the phone.
He watched her, trying to read in her expression whether or not the phone call had to do with the recent case or a new one. When Olivia had hung up Elliot turned questioning eyes to her. She didn't look his way as she gathered her things and bid him goodnight, and then she was gone.
Elliot didn't bother to go after her, he figured she still needed some time to herself.
Olivia had been walking, for how long she wasn't sure. She had received a call from Dr. Berletch, asking her to come back to the clinic. She didn't bother telling Elliot, although she knew he had been looking at her as she'd hung up the phone. But Dr. Berletch had only asked for her.
She had caught a cab over to the clinic.
Olivia had feared the worst. A part of her hadn't wanted to know. Dr. Berletch had assured her that it was nothing major and that he had preferred to tell her in person.
When she had left Dr. Berletch, she had started walking, her mind unsure where she was going but her feet guiding her in the right direction. They had led her here, to his apartment. She figured he hadn't made it yet, so just sat on the steps, waited and became lost in her thoughts.
She had wanted so badly to find the embryos in time, especially for Eva. Her heart went out to her because that was her last chance to have children. Then to have it taken it away by a couple who wanted to make a statement. She'd known what it was like to want something so badly only to find you cannot.
Olivia was so entranced by the sun setting over the skyline she didn't notice when he had walked up to the building. After a few seconds she had felt his presence.
Elliot just stood there and watched Olivia watch the sun set.
After they had found Scott Ryland at the airport and discovered that he was picking up his wife's body, Olivia had thought about something similar happening to her.
She was a cop and put her life on the line every day. Anything could happen to her or Elliot. But Elliot would have a part of him to live on, in the form of five beautiful children. All Olivia had was her brother.
She stood and turned to him, "Mind if I come up," she asked him softly.
Elliot said nothing, but held the door open for her.
Once inside his apartment Olivia went over and stood by the window. Elliot took off his suit jacket and laid it across the armchair. He went and stood opposite Olivia.
They stood without saying anything as they watched the sun continue to set until the street lamp came on and cast a slight glow upon their forms.
"Do you ever wonder what it would have been life if you and Kathy had never had kids," Olivia asks.
"Sometimes," Elliot answered honestly.
"Could you imagine something happening similar to Scott and Kelly Ryland, that you would be killed in the line of duty before you and Kathy had a chance to start a family," she asks, "or if something happened to Kathy."
Elliot knew where she was going with this. She felt sorry for Scott Ryland and wanted to know if he would have done the same had he been put in Scott's position.
"After I told Eva that we were too late finding the embryos I went back to see Dr. Berletch," Olivia says.
Elliot turned his eyes from the window to look at her.
"I had him run some tests," she continued, "in order for me to have in vitro fertilization."
Olivia finally looks at him.
"You know Liv, whatever you decide to do I'm behind you all the way," Elliot told her.
"I'm not going through with it. I don't want a stranger to father any children I decide to have," she tells him.
He nodded, understanding her decision because her whole life her father had been a stranger.
"I mean, my biological clock is ticking. In our line of work it's hard to have a stable relationship."
Olivia had given up on dating, she really didn't see what the point was anymore. She wondered about had he come to her that night instead of Kathy if the outcome still would have been another Stabler child.
As if he sensed her thoughts Elliot moved slowly towards her. Olivia unconsciously backed up till she was flat against the wall. Her face was now hidden in shadows, while Elliot was still in the glow of the streetlamp.
"El," Olivia whispered.
With his left hand Elliot ran his finger through her hair. He remembered when he had saw her after she had cut it, there were no words to describe her beauty.
Olivia's eyes closed of their own volition as he brought his other hand up to run through her hair.
Elliot moved his hands to her waist and gently hugged her, bringing her body flush against his. He rubbed his cheek against her, getting lost in the smooth texture of her skin. Olivia raised her hands to rest them on Elliot's forearms.
He bent his head to the spot where her neck and shoulder met, to inhale her intoxicating scent. He nuzzled her there then brushed his lips against her flesh. He felt Olivia tighten her hold on his arms.
Olivia turned her head so that Elliot couldn't reach her neck, and rested her forehead against his, "Elliot," she pleaded with him to stop this.
When confronted with your weakness you almost always give in. And Elliot was her weakness and she didn't have the power to stop him. It was weird because in their line of work power and control was all she had, but like when he had hugged her, she had lost that control. Her walls had fallen that day and she thought that had been built back up, but with Elliot near her like he was at that moment, they ceased to exist.
Elliot didn't know what came over him, he wanted to feel more of her and did not heed her plea. He backed her against the wall again. He covered her mouth with his and became lost in the feel of her. Olivia didn't move, couldn't move. Elliot brushed his lips from side to side against hers then lightly rubbed his tongue along her lower lip.
A gasp escaped her lips and Elliot pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. Never had he heard Olivia Benson gasp, let alone elicited by him.
Olivia met his gaze, noticing the feral look in his eyes, the love gleaming there too. She knew he loved her, they'd been tiptoeing around it for years. It was funny because she wanted someone to love her and when presented with it she was afraid of it. She overcame that fear in that moment as Elliot leaned down to claim her mouth once again.
When their mouths met it was like something had been awakened inside of Olivia, her whole being seemed to come alive.
Elliot nipped gently at her bottom lip then soothed it with his tongue. Her lips parted and their tongues met. They shyly explored each other's mouths, already knowing so much about the other, but continuing to learn one another. Elliot grabbed her right leg and lifted it to his waist.
Olivia wretched mouth from Elliot's and made a noise between a gasp and a cry as she felt his arousal through their slacks. Elliot buried his head in her neck where he licked, sucked, and bit at her flesh.
"El," Olivia softly moaned out and Elliot squeezed her thigh. He moved his hand along her thigh to grip her ass but he was interrupted by the shrill ring of a cell phone. He squeezed her thigh again, this time in frustration. He lifted his head and their eyes met.
Elliot reluctantly lowered her leg and pulled away from Olivia to answer his cell phone that was ringing from his jacket pocket that was thrown over the chair.
"Stabler," he answered with more control in his voice than it looked. He stared at Olivia the whole time who had not moved from where he left her against the wall.
Olivia listened to him and assumed it was Cragen. She heard Elliot tell him that he would call her. He hung and put his jacket back on.
"We got a case," he told her.
Olivia pushed off the wall and met Elliot at the door.
"We're not finished with this," he said as he opened the door and followed her out.