A/n: Okay, weird but this is a Deidara/Hinata one shot. I think…I don't know if I'm going to write more or not. I don't plan to so don't expect another chapter. DeiHina is actually a favorite of mine and there needs to be more of it. XD If you don't like, don't read.
Hinata walked into the 'lair' of Akatsuki. "Oh… Kami." She frowned as she shook her head in disapproval. They had a big party the day before with lots of drinking. Hinata couldn't help but laugh at the mess they made this time. Yup, that's right. She cleaned up after them when they had a big party. You're probably wondering how Hinata met someone from Akatsuki…
Hinata was on her way back from a D Class mission. It wasn't very hard. She had to go grocery shopping for a lady who had broken her leg and arm and couldn't very easily do it herself. The lady had a lot of groceries though! Hinata was fairly tired after that, nothing bad had happened at all on the mission and she was happy, all she needed to do now was get her own groceries.
That's where Hinata ran into trouble… She herself had a lot of groceries and she couldn't exactly see where she was going. Not being able to look down she tripped over a crack in the sidewalk.
"Awah!" Hinata's groceries flew out of her hands and she… didn't hit the pavement?
"Hey. You should be more careful, un." Hinata gasped and turned around to take a good look at her rescuer. She nearly screamed. "Black robes… with red clouds?! And…! That ring! A MEMBER OF AKATSUKI!!"
"W-who a-are you?! M-more importantly… w-what are y-you doing here?!" Hinata pulled away as fast as she could.
"You don't know me, un? I'm Deidara, and actually I just wanted to help you, un!" Hinata activated her Byakugan and took a fighting stance. He looked at her, took off his pouches that carried his clay and held his hands by his head. "Hey, I'm utterly defenseless now. Please, call down, un."
"W-why should I-I believe y-you…?" Hinata looked at him, he was defenseless… and kind of cute.
"'Cause I'm just here to buy some sake and beer, un. We're having a party, un." Deidara hit himself in the forehead. "DAMN IT, UN! I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT, UN!"
"U-Uh…" Hinata sweat dropped. "He was a member of Akatsuki? Certainly doesn't seem like it."
"Well, You're a pretty face, un. If you don't tell anybody about me I won't tell anybody about you coming, un." Hinata's face reddened. No one's ever said anything like that to her before! Even if he was just joking too. Hinata glanced up at him. Her face reddening even more. Deidara also had a pretty face. He looked at her questionably.
"Hey, you've got really big eyes, un. Reminds me of full moons, very artistic, un." Hinata's face flushed even more now, no ones ever talked to her like that before! Not even her own family! "You should really come, they would get a kick out of you, un. Would probably say something along the lines of 'Hey! Who's that babe with you?', un."
"I-I s-still can't trust you…!" Hinata wasn't in a fighting stance anymore, but her Byakugan was still activated.
"How about you go grocery shopping with me and we'll talk about it some more, un? Looks like you could use some help carrying them, un." Deidara pointed to the bags of food on the ground. Thankfully nothing had broke and she hadn't bought anything fragile.
"I-I guess s-so…" Hinata had nothing left to lose. Her family wouldn't care, right? Naruto didn't care either, considering he was going out with somebody else.
-Finally! End flashback-
Hinata actually had a fun time that night. She didn't drink, she was too afraid of what might happen. The only thing she was afraid of was Zetsu and Itachi. Zetsu, because he could have eaten her, and Itachi because he could have told anybody in Konoha and/or killed her for being from there. They never really said anything to her except ask her to get them some sake, which she did.
Also Deidara had asked her to be his girlfriend, which she was surprised by herself and excepted gratefully. Tobi teased Deidara to a great extent about it, not realizing he was frustrating him, and ended up getting pounded by him. It was really funny, but Hinata was afraid Tobi was hurt badly after it, but was shocked when he got up and introduced himself.
Hinata started picking up the mess. She emptied half full bottles of beer in the sink and put them in a recycling bin. She noticed some empty ramen cups and threw those away too. She looked around and couldn't help but giggle at the condition the Akatsuki were in. If Naruto knew about this, they would be dead!
Hinata looked at the couch and smiled. Deidara was passed out on it. She took a seat by where his legs were and put them in her lap.
"N-nooo… Mama, I… s-swear… didn't… cookie." Hinata giggled, he was sleep talking! Noticing his shoes were still on she took them off and set them on the floor next to the couch. Putting his feet back where they were she leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek and went on to take care of the rest of them.
She laughed. Itachi and Kisame were propped up against the wall and were leaning on each other's shoulders. NO! They were not gay! Just drunk! Hinata got a couple of pillows and laid on down on one side of Itachi and ever so gently she leaned him to rest on the pillow. Taking off his new prescription tinted glasses, she set them by his head so he would know where they were. He was completely blind now without them! But if Sasuke knew that Itachi would be dead too.
Hinata sighed. Kisame had a lamp shade over his head. Taking it off she put it over on the lamp that it belong to on the stand next to the couch. Hinata did the same for Kisame with the pillow, but when she went to lean him down to the pillow he took his sword and used it instead. "Weird." She thought out loud. "Now… who else needs help?" Hinata giggled as she went into the next room.
"Boy, I have my work cut out for me, huh?" The next room was a mess. There were empty pizza boxes on a desk and one on the floor. There was also a stain from Kami knows what and colored sugar from candy every where too. There was also a part of the floor and some of the wall with paint on it in a corner. "Why would there be… paint everywhere… Tobi."
Speaking of who, he walked out of the other room rubbing his mask. "He must've just woken up…" "Hey! It's Mama Hinata!" Hinata started to blush furiously. Tobi called her that because she tended to be very motherly towards the S-ranked criminals took care of them all.
"Sssh! D-do you w-want to wake u-up Deidara-sempai and e-everyone else?" Tobi probably wouldn't have anyways, because they all had hangovers but Hinata liked the peace.
"N-no…!" Tobi said in a more calm tone. "Tobi's a good boy! Tobi doesn't want to do anything like that." Hinata smiled and patted him on the head.
"D-do you know h-how l-late it is, Tobi-kun?" Hinata asked sweetly. It was pretty late, or early depending on how you wanted to put it.
"Uhm…" Tobi glanced around looking for the clock. Once he found he took a couple of seconds to tell the time. "It's… three thirty…am." Just reading the clock made him want to go back to sleep.
"E-exactly, so you s-should keep you're p-promise to being a g-good boy and go back to bed." Hinata suggested.
"Yeah, Tobi will. Tobi just wanted to give you something first." Tobi reached in his pocket and turned out a piece of folded paper. "Nighty-night, Mama Hinata." Tobi bowed and ran back into his room, slightly giggling.
"Poor Deidara, doesn't realize that he's putting the torture of Tobi on himself by giving him sugary candy!" Hinata started to giggle. Tobi was very nice. She could easily understand how he could get frustrated with him though. Hinata didn't have time at the moment to look at the paper, so she put it in her pocket and
Hinata looked around to see who else possibly needed saving. Then she nearly died. Zetsu had his head face first into a pile of plant soil. Hinata wanted to burst out laughing and help him… but she didn't know if that was how he slept! She started to panic. Zetsu could be suffocating himself! Hinata groaned, why didn't she have Tobi stay up with her? He could have helped. Especially now. She could risk trying to wake Zetsu up, which could result to her death. By cannibalism. Or, as Deidara would put it, "I need to assign you a cause of death. DEATH BY CANNIBALISM!! UN!"
"Oooh, what to do…?" Hinata felt sick to her stomach. It felt like she had to take care of them, and what if she couldn't do that? Was there no reason for her to bother coming back again? She then felt a weight on her shoulder and saw blonde hair in front of her face. Deidara!
"Hey, It's fine. Calm down, un." He held her close to him, not moving his head from her shoulder. "But, we do need to get him out of there." Hinata sighed in relief, she was so thankful Deidara had come and helped her.
Hinata got another pillow and walked over towards the creepy man-eater. She carefully picked him up and then set the pillow down where his head was then put him gently back down. Hinata put her hand over her heart and sighed. He was safe and now there wasn't anybody there to take care of anymore. Pein and Konan never liked there parties and went somewhere else. Kakuzu and Hidan were currently on a very long mission, Deidara told her earlier.
Deidara wrapped his arms around Hinata's waist, making her jump a little. "I heard Tobi talking to you. He wasn't hitting on you or anything right, un?" Hinata turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. She nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck.
"Tobi may be annoying at times, and may not realize it, but he's smart enough not to hit on me." Hinata's breath on him made him shiver.
"Guess, you're right, un. But if he did…" Hinata pulled away much to his dismay. Hinata then pulled out the piece of paper that Tobi gave her out of her jacket pocket. Unfolding it she let out a giggle. Deidara was looking over her shoulder.
"A finger painting?! Un?" Unfolding it all the way you could see an orange blotchy stick figure holding hands with another yellow blotchy stick figure and a purple one. Underneath the orange one "Tobi the good boy" was written. The yellow one was labeled "Deidara-sempai" and the purple one was "Mama Hinata". Deidara seemed to notice this right away. "Why is he calling you 'Mama', un?!"
"B-because I t-take care o-of all of y-you guys." Hinata's normal flushed faced deepened. She glanced back down at the paper to see the rest of the picture. To the other side of the said figures, there was a red stick figure next to a blue one with something big a smudgy on his shoulder. Underneath them was written "Itachi-sama and Kisame w/ sword-sama". The blotch on Kisame's shoulder then made sense. Then off to the side of them was an oddly painted green, black, and white. "Zetsu-sama" Hinata smiled. It was cute!
Deidara sighed and took the picture from her hands. Folding it back up he stuffed it in the sleeve to his cloak. "Hey, I'm sorry, but if anyone sees this they're going to get suspicious, un." Hinata looked down at her feet and nodded. It was really hard trying to keep her relationship secret to everyone. If she told them, Deidara's life and everyone else's, including hers, could be in jeopardy. Deidara turned her around to face him, held her chin and smiled. "Hey, this picture. It's artistic, un. Maybe not like what some would think, but it's cute. I guess, un."
Hinata gave him a hug. "Do you want to help me clean now?" Deidara tried to pull away. He didn't like cleaning at all, which was a reason he liked Hinata around so much. She would clean and he could kick back and do whatever.
"Uh… I would, un! But… uh, I think messes are artistic and I still have a big hangover, un! Night!" Deidara managed to steal a kiss and run off to his room. Hinata sighed, he knew better! He only got to see her a couple of times a week, and it wasn't for very long she could stay.
Hinata walked down a different hall to Deidara's room. She knocked softly on his door. "D-Deidara… I-I'm s-sorry. You d-don't have to c-clean." The door opened and she was quickly pulled in a hug.
"Hey, if you're 'Mama Hinata' does that make me 'Daddy Deidara'?" Hinata giggled, she never thought of it like that before.
"Um… I d-don't know. Ask T-Tobi." Hinata yawned. She hadn't slept much the past week. Kurenai had her training non-stop and her father had been making her study for taking the role of the head of the Hyuuga clan. Quite frankly she was seriously thinking about denouncing her title and handing it to Hanabi.
"Are you tired, un? 'Cause I can seriously clean. It's no problem, un. You just have to promise me you'll sleep instead." Deidara walked her over to his bed and laid her down. Hinata really didn't realize how tired she was until her head hit the pillow. 'His room smells nice… It's so much like him…'
Hinata was almost asleep when she remembered what she was supposed to be doing. She hurriedly sat up, bashing heads with Deidara who was enjoying watching her sleep. "Ow! Oh! Deidara! I-I'm sorry!" Hinata not even thinking pulled the aching Deidara towards her. Shoving his face right into her chest. "I'm so sorry Deidara!! Please forgive me!" Her voice was muffled because she buried her face in his hair.
"H-Hinata… I can't breathe…" It's not like he wasn't enjoying this. It's just that he was seriously going to be smothered to death!
"Ah! Sorry! I-I'm so s-sorry!" She finally let go of him.
"Enough… Enough apologizing, un." Deidara gasped. He was kneeling on the bed next to Hinata. Hinata tightened her grip on the sheets.
"Um, alright, but you don't have to clean." Hinata nearly screamed. Deidara had her pinned down to the bed.
"This IS the 'Akatsuki lair', un. I'll do it. I was only joking before, un." Hinata opened her eyes. Deidara's face was really close to hers. REALLY close, so close there noses were touching. Hinata shifted uncomfortably.
"B-but, I feel l-like that's m-my job…" Hinata heard him sigh, "W-what?"
"How about this, un. I'll clean for you, but it will only be this time, ok? Un."
"I-I guess." Hinata was still squirming a little. Deidara got up off of Hinata and kissed her lightly on the lips, making her blush.
"Still not used to that are you, un?" Hinata shook her head no. Deidara gave off a small chuckle. "Hey, don't worry about leaving, I'll wake you up in time, un. Or… you can stay here permanently." Deidara was teasing her at that moment, but truthfully more than anything in the world he wanted her to stay.
They had discussed it before. There were a couple of reasons why Deidara didn't want her to stay. He was afraid of what the other guys might start doing to her when he wasn't watching or not there. There was also Pein, it was amazing he was letting Hinata see Deidara, but it would be a miracle if he would let her stay.
Hinata couldn't stay because she still loved her village very much, and she couldn't just leave all that behind. Plus, all of her friends would probably go on the look for her, which could equal out to the fall of Akatsuki. She also still wanted to prove herself worthy to her family, even if it took a lot of work but at the same time, she wanted to run away from the stress of her daily life.
Deidara stayed with Hinata the next few minutes. Pulling her closer to him, she snuggled her face into the crook of his neck. Hinata thought about leaving long and hard, She really didn't have any friends, did she? She talked to people sure, but they wouldn't miss her if she went away. They could easily move on. And Hanabi or Neji would make a much better leader to the Hyuuga clan, not her.
"Deidara… I-I…" Hinata started to squeak.
"Hn?" Deidara didn't look up, he took a bigger breath, taking in the scent of his beloved.
"I… want to stay." Hinata sat up next to Deidara, still sitting on the bed.
"Are you sure you want to do this? If you do, you're leaving everything behind, un." Deidara was shocked. Pleased, but shocked. Not wanting her to make the biggest mistake in her life, he also sat up and took her by the shoulders.
"I'm sure." Deidara was slightly scared, and it took a lot to do that! After all, he was an S-classed criminal!
"You won't be able to ever see them again," He looked straight into her eyes. "they'll never forgive you. Are you alright with your friends, family, and teachers hunting you down? Un." He tried to hide the smirk as her eyes got wider.
"I'm sure. I have friends here, and some of them are better than most of my family." Hinata insured herself. And it was true. Konan surprisingly got along with her and Tobi thought she was just the best person in the world.
"Alright then, un." Deidara slightly sighed. It wasn't a problem with her staying. He really did love her. It was just, her sneaking around was a turn on for him. But so was her stutter, and he would get to here that more often.
"Thank you!" Hinata tackled Deidara back down on the bed. Deidara groaned.
"I have a headache… You better go home and get your stuff before anyone finds out what you want to do, un." Deidara rubbed his head. For some reason he was just starting to feel his hangover.
Hinata gave him a quick kiss and was on her way. But before she left the room she stopped. "Y-You better give th-that picture back."