A/N: What can I say? I felt like doing something tragedy today. Even if it is a bit short, meh, I am content with it.
If you've been reading the recent manga, I suppose you can guess where this idea came from. Not that I think Takahashi will be this evil, but it is still a possibility, I guess.
Oh, and I made a forum-thingy on this site for the sole purpose of having a blog of sorts, since fanfiction . net seems to be severely lacking in one. There I can post a little FAQ, some info on some original stories I'm doing, and general stuff. Feel free to post whatever in there, too. If you have a question, speculation, what have you. It's no fun if I'm the only one posting in there!
She Was Smiling
The soft droplets of rain fell down from the mournful sky, the gentle patter the only sound as he continued on; hardly noticing the droplets as they fell upon him. The ground was soft and wet beneath his bare feet, with a cold chill in the air, coldness he couldn't even feel; nothing felt real anymore.
Rain washed away everything; the blood upon his claws, the tears that had fallen…
And his own scent from her body, cold in his arms.
Everything had shattered now, into a million pieces, just like the jewel when she had broken it, so long ago. But unlike the jewel that had brought about such sadness, these pieces could never be put back together.
Why? Why did everything have to be this way? More tears made their way from his golden eyes, a color she had once said was beautiful, as he hugged her still and wet form closer to himself. How could this have happened? He once had everything planned; everything…It wasn't supposed to end this way, damn it!
Naraku was supposed to be defeated, and then, at last, they would be free, free from everything that ever hindered them! After Naraku had died, he was going to make all their dreams come true! He would ask her to be his mate, and then they were going to live in their own little hut, with little, dog eared children, happy at last, for many, many years…
That was how it was supposed to be!
But…but why? Why did fate always have to take away those things he cherished the most? He had lost Kikyou, fifty years ago, and now…he had lost her.
Stopping for a moment, he couldn't handle it, as so many images of her soft face, her warm smile came into his mind. Holding her closer, never wanting to let go, he cried in anguish to the rainy sky, "Kagome!"
And in his mind, he could hear her answer, in that soft voice she always saved for him, "Inuyasha…"
He was supposed to protect her; he had promised her…That day in her room when they went back to her world one of the last times, he had taken her hand and made a promise that he intended to keep…
"I will protect you with my life."
She had wanted to stay with him, even after he told her he wanted her to stay in her world. In her world she would be safer. It didn't matter how much he missed her, it didn't matter how long it took and how long they were separated, at least in her world, she would be safe, and alive…
But she wanted to stay.
"I will always be with you."
Why had he listened? Why hadn't he insisted that she stay where it was safe? He told her several times that she would be safer in her world, but…always, she wanted to stay by him, and his selfish wish to have her by his side made him never force her to go there, where she would have lived…
And now…as the rain of sorrow poured down all around him, as he held her lifeless body in his arms, unable to keep the tears in his eyes, tears he once thought he could never shed, he knew he should have done the right thing. I should have made her stay! If I had…
The hanyou sank to his knees, onto the wet ground, cradling her to his chest, unable to control his heartbreaking pain. "Kagome!" he cried, over and over again, but this time, she would not respond to his cry. She would never answer his call again.
In that one moment, that one life-shattering moment, when he realized this fatal mistake, everything for him had stopped. Kagome was gone. There was no reason for him to live anymore, without her.
Everyone else could eventually move on; mourn her loss but continue to live. But for him; she was his very life and purpose for living. There was no purpose for him anymore.
He couldn't move on, he couldn't even bring himself to where he was going; to Goshinboku, her grave. Doing that would acknowledge the inevitable; Kagome was gone. And he couldn't say goodbye.
Memories of her smile flashed in his mind, but another memory from long ago also resonated in his mind. It was of his mother, telling him the greatest strength was to go on after the death of a loved one.
Okaa…you were strong…you went on after Oyaji's death…but… Hugging her closer, his face contorted in his pain, he thought, I'm not that strong! I'm only weak!
His claws…even though it had all washed away, he could still smell the stink of blood on his claws.
It had all been Naraku's plan, from the very start…To use the Shikon no Tama to transform him into a youkai. He was weak, still so weak when it came to controlling his youkai side. He fought on the inside, but…he couldn't overcome it.
He sunk into the dark abyss of becoming a youkai once more, cut off from his human heart.
And from there, he was nothing left than a monster, set upon killing his friends.
He shouldn't be able to remember; he had wished he wouldn't remember, but…Inuyasha could recall it, all of it. The joy in his heart for being on the hunt once more…The bloodlust that pounded in his mind…The fun he had chasing them, wounding them…The want, the need to kill them, to have their blood flow from his claws…
They fought, but he was stronger. He couldn't control himself. The consciousness that was his human side was still there, but could only watch, and couldn't reach his body.
It was all Naraku's plan that he would watch himself mercilessly slaughter his friends, and, in the end, take his own life in despair.
Oh Gods, why?
Kagome couldn't have it end that way.
His claws pierced her flesh, and as her blood spattered across his face, a scent of blood he recognized instantly, he came back to himself. In his arms, he held her, the one woman he loved, the one woman he had wanted a life with after all this was over, dying in his arms. From his claws.
"Kagome!" He cried once more, his tears falling like the rain onto her lifeless face.
And in the end…just as he had realized what he had just done…and before she closed her eyes forever, she was smiling.
And even now, as the hanyou held her in all of his despair, the content smile only for him still held on her face, and would always be there, forever.