The last of my giftfics! Phew. I'm done, now I can get back to work on SINthetic and Special Discount! Everyone cheer with me!

But I had fun with these. This last one is written for Kristina, otherwise known as ClumsyMooseProductions. She sacrifices virgins for me. It's nice. She was my 300th reviewer for SD. I love her. xD

And as this is my 13th fanfic on this screenname and I'm a complete nerd, I had to make my 13th an AkuRoku. So, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own KH. Don't own The Cat Empire, Benny Benassi, Bloodhound Gang, MSI, etc, etc. Or so they tell me.


Funk Inflicted

He couldn't honestly imagine how he had gotten here.

Well, actually, Roxas was completely aware of how he had turned up in his college dorm. He had taken an elevator and proceeded to walk to his room.

No, what he meant was, he couldn't honestly imagine how he had ended up in his dorm room with the outrageously sly red-head.

More specifically, how he had ended up in bed with the outrageously sly red-head, bare-chested and covered with teeth marks on his skin.

The blonde frowned marginally, sitting up on his empty desk which was surrounding by unopened boxes to look over at the plain mattress where Axel was stretched out, shirtless and sleeping like a log.

Itching at a bright red bite on his neck, Roxas reconsidered. He actually knew exactly how he had ended up in this situation.

In fact, there was quite a story behind it….


Roxas was so happy, he could cry.

In fact, he almost did start crying with joy just as the bus had pulled away from the stop, leaving behind his sobbing mother and solemn father. Unfortunately, abruptly standing up in the back of the sleepy charter bus to start whooping and punching the air wasn't an activity condoned in today's respectable society, so he contented himself with a soft "Yes!" under his breath and a grin.

Granted, there had been tears of overwhelming happiness in his eyes just as he had finished shoving his bags inside the storage hold on the bus. Luckily, his mom mistook his watery eyes for held-in sobs of sorrow. She started to wail herself, pulling her dear little boy to her chest.

"Oh, Roxas! Are you sure you want to go to a college so far away? What if you get hurt? What if your father breaks both of his legs? What if you break both of your legs? What if you break both your legs and you end up in an alleyway and get raped? I mean, you came out only a few months ago, it might have made you vulnerable! It's unsafe!"

"Mom, just because I'm gay doesn't make me an instant rape target."

"You never know, sweetie! The worlds out there is dangerous!"

"Mom." the blonde grunted, rolling his eyes and pushing her away gently, "I'll be fine. I'm eighteen, I can handle myself. I won't die. Honestly."

And with that, he boarded the bus and set off for his new life. The sun wasn't even up yet, it was so early in the morning. And the still pale moon hovering in the ashy sky was what found Roxas sitting on a 12-hour ride across the country in a crowded charter bus with an empty stomach and a carry-on that held only a book, water bottle, and his mp3 player. And he couldn't have been happier.

Roxas had finally left home and his old existence behind to start a journey to college life. It was time to meet new people, open up, and actually be free. The blonde bit down another urge to begin cheering and pumping his fist. Instead, he slipped on his wrap-around headphones and settled in for the ride. Twelve hours was a long trip. At least he had over a week's worth of music on his mp3 player.

Over the course of four hours, Roxas completed approximately a quarter of his journey. The charter bus occasionally made stops and picked up more people, but the blonde had since then completely dozed off, mostly to ignore his rumbling stomach and because he had barely gotten any sleep the night before.

He was left mostly alone, since he had chosen a seat exactly in the back of the bus. As he was dozing, the seat next to him remained empty. Up until another rather ferocious rumble of the college student's stomach made him jerk from the window where he had been resting his head. He scowled down at the whiny tummy briefly before noticing that he wasn't actually alone anymore.

A tall individual with a mohawk was sitting in the previously vacant seat. He was looking about impatiently, booted feet tapping against the floor of the bus as his fingers alternately squeezed and relaxed around the neck of the guitar case settled between his legs. Roxas stared at him just a spare second, taking in the sight, until he finally looked away again. Whatever the other man was waiting for, he couldn't possibly imagine, but it wasn't his business.

"Alright, Dem, you can go." There came a voice from behind the seats. Roxas paused just as he was about to turn the volume up. He glanced over to where the fidgety blonde with the mohawk was in the process of bolting from his sit to hurry into the nearby bathroom.

And that, really, should have been the end of that. Should have been the end of that. With a resounding thump, another intruder came and sat in the second seat. Roxas spared this one a glance as well, just one, out of curiosity.

He found himself doing a double-take.

An even taller man with flame-red hair had just sat back in the seat, proceeding to stretch his legs out and sigh. There were tight jeans and boots stretched across his skinny legs as well as a long-sleeve striped shirt adorning his upper body. Roxas found himself disregarding that, eyes only riveted to the blindingly crimson strands sprouting from the stranger's head. Gelled into thick spikes, the whole mess was tied back loosely, allowing the hair to go this way and that.

He looked stylish. Judging by the guitar case the man had just shoved into the luggage compartment overhead moments before, he was probably in a band. Typical punk. Finally growing at least a little accustomed to the blazing red, Roxas flicked his eyes away again, settling on the countryside outside of the window. Looked like he wasn't alone anymore, now.

A few more minutes passed and Roxas had just begun the process of reacquainting himself with his empty stomach, when he was interrupted.

"Oh, why, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Roxas blinked, feeling certain that that particular line that had been hummed by his ear did not belong there. He turned his head, pausing his own music again.

"You look like one incredible creature. Wanna treat you fine…"

Roxas gaped. The red-head was singing. To himself, granted, and along with his own ipod, but nevertheless, the man was singing. When the stranger noticed the blonde's attention, he grinned and abruptly leaned in, eyes locking with Roxas's as he continued to sing to him instead.

The man's voice was low and husky, completely matching the teasing smirk on his lips. "Let's dance and grind. Get so funk inflicted, it's a crime."

At Roxas's blank stare, he chuckled to himself and turned away, singing at the seat in front of him instead, eyes sliding shut as he bobbed his head to the rest of the lyrics. "You're divine, you're sublime, ah well, you blow my mind."

The red-head casually looked back to the flummoxed blonde and winked. "You're so sly."

The last line was what convinced Roxas that it was best to just turn around and pretend that never happened. He hadn't just been sung at, he hadn't just witnessed the most stunning pair of green eyes ever, and he most assuredly had not been caught staring. Because the wink that the man had flashed him seemed to carry the phrase of "Like what you see?" and that in itself made a flush creep over the blonde's cheeks. Yes. Yes I did.

Roxas wasn't entirely sure how long he could last out. The red-head was most likely there to stay until the end of the trip, and they still had about three-quarters of the way to go.

Maybe he could introduce himself…

"Ahh, gotta love the Cat Empire. Anyway, what's up?" The stranger had beaten him to the punch. Smiling, the red-head extended a hand. He had long fingers, slender and elegant. Roxas hid his surprise and took offered digits, launching into a friendly hand-shake. "Name's Axel."

"I'm Roxas." Roxas attempted a friendly grin as he sat back, pulling his hand back to himself after the introduction. No harm in getting to know the guy, after all. This was his new life, he could take risks! Time to make new friends. New friends that happened to be quite hot.

Axel chuckled and scratched a part of his head as he looked Roxas over. "Unusual name, Roxas."

"As if Axel is common?" Roxas raised an eyebrow, laughing a bit himself.

"Point taken." The guitar player nodded, glancing out to the window briefly before his eyes returned. "Where you headed, Roxas?"

"College, actually. You?"

"My band and I are getting out to record. Demyx and Larxene are sitting near the front with Zex, though. There wasn't enough room, so I had to sit here with you." Axel's eyes never left Roxas's. The blonde squirmed slightly under his gaze, eventually looking away to look forward where he could see, just past the sea of heads, a familiar mohawk poking up from the depths.

"Judging by the regular charter bus, I take it your band hasn't hit it big yet?"

Axel was laughing again, but the gleam in his eyes hadn't disappeared. Simply taken a step back. Folding his arms behind his head, the red-head's lips tipped upward. "Not yet, but we'll get there someday, if not sooner."

"Oh yeah?"

Axel didn't miss the amused, skeptical look on Roxas's face. He plucked out one of his ear pieces and handed it to Roxas. "Here. See for yourself."

Roxas obliged. He inserted the headphone into his own ear and watched as Axel flicked the power back onto his ipod. Music revved into the blonde's ear. Was that Axel singing? A curious frown came over the blonde's lips. He had to admit, the man's band sounded decent. Something between indie, jazz, ska, and rock. And then there were those words again…

"Oh, why, it's a pleasure to meet you. You look like one incredible creature…"

"Weren't you singing this before?" Roxas asked abruptly, looking back to Axel to see him grinning and humming along.

"Yeah. We cover a lot of The Cat Empire's songs."

A blonde eyebrow lifted. Roxas stared. "The… what?"

Axel's eyes widened as the song continue to play. "You're never heard of The Cat Empire? Seriously?"

So begun lessons from Axel, who was determined to convert Roxas into a The Cat Empire fan. Apparently, The Chariot was Axel's favorite song, and the one he had been singing before was called Sly. It was an excellent waste of time, Roxas had to admit. The minutes passed by at a much quicker rate than if he were still leaning against the window, dozing off. And it gave him an excuse to press shoulder to shoulder against Axel, as they were sharing headphones.

Come noon-time, the journey half-done, Axel and Roxas had progressed onto other songs. They didn't mind the fact that for a few hours now, they had been only listening to music and exchanging jokes and making fun of each other. Roxas even forgot about his rumbling stomach. It was a strange feeling, to make a friend so easily, but it felt nice.

I suppose this is what starting a new life is all about.

Another bumpy sixty minutes of bus riding confirmed it. Roxas was unquestionably crushing on the red-head. Allowing Axel to go through yet another play-list of some band he had never heard of, Roxas studied him out of the corner of his eye. The band-member was smarter than he looked, and amusing. His eyes were bright with life and the grin Axel kept giving him only added to his roguish appearance.

Hadn't he given up the instant crushing, raging hormones thing months ago?

Axel's leg bumped into his and a twist in Roxas's stomach sent butterflies scattering across his intestines. Damn. This was going to be a long trip.


"So tell me about yourself a little more, Roxas." Axel sat back in his seat, a lazy smile on his face as he allowed the blonde to shuffle through his ipod's songs. They had already settled into a more comfortable position, Roxas's legs stretched out over Axel's lap and Axel looking content to remain relaxed with his feet sticking out in the aisle of the bus. There was enough of a buzz in the air from other conversations that they could continue to speak in normal, inside-voices.

Roxas didn't look up, shrugging. "What do you want to know?"

"Where'd you come from? What're you planning on taking in college?" Axel paused. "How's your love life been lately?"

"Real deep, Axel. You made it sound like you almost considered what to ask me." The blonde snorted and finally looked at Axel at the last question, giving him a teasing look before rolling his eyes and switching back to the ipod. "Why do you have so many sex-oriented songs?"

"Huh?" Axel sat up, deciding to let the unanswered questions go. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, look!" Roxas hit play.

"Push me, and then just touch me. 'Till I can get my… satisfaction…"

Axel raked a few fingers through his hair, smiling innocently. "That's only one song."

Roxas manipulated the ipod's buttons briefly.

"Sweat, baby, sweat, baby. Sex is a Texas drought. Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about. So put your hands down my pants, and I'll bet you'll feel nuts…"

"Okay, two songs…"

"I'm a…. slave! For you!"

"I share an ipod with Demyx!"

"I'm bringin' sexy back…"

Roxas quirked an eyebrow. "That one Demyx's, too?

"No, that one's mine." Axel laughed nervously, then suddenly, an impish smile came over his features. "Ok, sure, my ipod doesn't exactly boast the cleanest songs. But I bet yours isn't any better."

Before the blonde could hide his own mp3 player, Axel had snatched it out of his lap and plugged in the ear pieces they were sharing into Roxas's gadget instead.

"Now, let's see… damn, you listen to a lot of Japanese stuff…"

Roxas watched as Axel sifted through his music, trying to look calm. He knew exactly what was in there. "I don't think you'll actually find anything up to your level, Axel."

"Wanna bet?" Axel snickered, hitting the play button.

"…Just like all my thoughts, they always get a little naughty..."

Roxas shrugged it off, hoping Axel wouldn't find any of the others. Axel, meanwhile, was grinning to himself as he continued his search.

"Gimme! Gimme! Gimme a man after midnight! Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away?"

"Aw, c'mon, that's Broadway!"

"Yeah, so was Rocky Horror Picture Show." Axel chuckled. "Which I notice you have here, too. Oh, and what's this…"

"I've been denied all the best. Ultra sex…"

Roxas paled marginally. That was one of the worst songs Axel could have possible picked.

"I've been denied all the best. Ultra sex…" Axel began singing along. Whatever color Roxas had lost returned in a flush. He edged away from the red-head as far as he could, minding the head phones, but Axel followed right after him.

"I, I tried to consume just like a super faggot, I got some dude. How can y'all give a motha' fucka' something so good he couldn't say no…"

Roxas couldn't help himself. Really, he didn't even know where it came from, but before he knew it, he was opening his mouth and joining Axel.

"You nailed me hard…" He sang back, returning Axel's wide grin.

The two laughed over the lyrics for a moment, joining back in at the chorus, hardly minding the few stares they were receiving from the couple sitting in front of them.

"Dig me now, fuck me later! And sing to the tune of faggot, faggot, faggot!"

Axel abruptly stopped singing, leaning in towards Roxas as the song continued to play. "Now, Roxas, why would you have a song like that in your mp3 player?"

Was it common for strangers to hook up in the back of buses? Or to randomly flirt with each other? Yes. But not for Roxas. He had been more withdrawn in high school. Perhaps it was time for a change. He tilted his head, noting that the predatory gleam in Axel's eyes had returned.

The question here was about who was going to make the first move.

"I dunno." Roxas smirked, eyes darting to Axel's hands that were resting on his knees, warming the skin through his jeans. "Take a guess."

"I'm going to guess…" Axel pulled his ear phone out. Roxas's stomach flipped at the low timbre the red-head's voice had taken on. "That your thoughts always get a little naughty."

"Just like how you want to be pushed and touched until you get your satisfaction?" Roxas shot back. Axel continued to creep forward, pushing back the small arm-rest that had been separating them thus far. His hands slid up Roxas's legs until they paused on his outer thighs.

Axel was purring. "And how you've always wanted a man after midnight…"

"Preferably a man who's smothered and covered like my waffle-house hash browns."

"Coming quicker than Fed-Ex?"

Roxas nodded, trying not to laugh and alternately blush. He had heard those lyrics hundreds of times before, but when Axel said them, they carried a complete different meaning. Even a greater meaning than the underlying sexual themes already present. "Never reach an apex."

"So like Coca-Cola stock, you are inclined…"

"To make you rise an hour early, just like daylight savings time." Roxas breathed out, unable to keep himself from finishing the lyrics.

Axel was only inched away. Roxas could just feel his faint breath scattering over his nose. "Roxas, I think you've been denied. Ultra sex, no less."

"Maybe you could dig me now and fuck me later." Roxas returned, voice serious.

The red-head's green eyes shone in the sunlight. "Now, I hope you don't mean anything by those words. You never know, someone could take you seriously, with all those sexual innuendos…"

"Maybe if you brought sexy back…" Roxas said slowly, watching Axel's lips the whole time as he spoke, too distracted to keep up a conversation any longer.

Axel grinned, moving forward to close the distance between them. "Well, if you insist."

Roxas stared as Axel's face came within inches of his. This was it. He was about to hook up with a man he had met only hours before. In the back of a bus. No going back.

And then the bus abruptly hit a pot hole and all of the passengers were roughly jostled. In any other case, Axel probably could have been bumped forward to hurry the impending kiss. Unfortunately, he toppled the other way, opposite direction of Roxas, who managed to maintain enough balance to stay in place from the turbulence.

Roxas felt his chance melting away in front of his eyes. No, damnit, he wanted to hook up with this particular stranger in the back of the bus! Damn you, fate!

Not sparing another moment to thought, the blonde shoved forward. Another bump propelled him to fall into Axel's lap. As he latched his hands onto the red-head's shoulders, trying to situated himself and straddle the surprised Axel, his lips were stretching into another grin.

"Why, it's a pleasure to meet you…"

Axel stared at him, torn between a laugh and a look of surprise. "You look like one incredible creature…"

Roxas himself did laugh briefly, his snickers coming out softly. He caught his gaze with Axel's, still quoting the song. "Wanna treat you fine. Let's dance and grind…"

No more time for lyrics, Roxas's inner brain decided. He plunged forward to plant his lips on Axel's. He registered a slight vibration between their mouths as Axel released a gentle chuckle before a hand was soon digging into his blonde spikes and the red-head was responding.

They tackled tongues briefly, but seemed too impatient for taking it slow. Axel was soon moving his hands down to tease around the blonde's waist and Roxas was resting his forehead on the other man's shoulder, exposing his throat.

There was a sharp bite at his neck. Roxas moaned quietly, still somewhat aware of their location. He closed his eyes as Axel moved up to take his earlobe in-between his lips and suck.

"I thought we were never going to get to this…"

Axel groaned around the blonde's ear, nipping at the sensitive skin. "And I thought you've never get the message."

Roxas chortled, but soon changed it to a moan. Axel had found something more interesting in his jaw-line, kissing up along the bone-structure. In response, the blonde ground his hips downward, simultaneously sighing as Axel's fingers slipped beneath his shirt, scouring across the heated skin to find particularly sensitive areas of his chest. Not one to simply sit idle, Roxas turned his attention to Axel's smooth neck instead. His tongue darted out, sliding up along the side of the man's throat. He grinned as the red-head purred roughly in response, making him more eager to explore more of Axel's weaker spots.

Public bus be damned. Axel's hold on Roxas tightened as he turned their bodies to lower the blonde onto the extra space in the second seat, hands immediately moving again, finding the aroused nipples he had been seeking. Roxas tilted his head back, biting his lip tightly to muffle the anxious groans Axel was teasing out of him. Curling his fingers gently into the bright red hair, he instead tugged the hair band out of the man's spikes. Red fell over Axel's shoulders, sloping around his face and throwing the increasing blush in the man's lips into the open. Roxas's breath caught in his chest and Axel grinned, shaking his hair out briefly and winking. Then his lips were back again, pressing earnestly to Roxas's.

As Axel pulled Roxas's bottom lip into his mouth, planting light bites at the corners and then sucking, Roxas resorted to taking shuddering breaths through his nose, eyes rolling back into his head as he shut his eyes, hands finding a hold in the striped shirt the red-head was wearing as his feet dangled above the floor, not long enough to actually reach ground. He felt Axel's body lower onto his and the warmth, as well as the constant vibration beneath him from the bus's engine made something click. Roxas released a sigh he didn't know he had been holding.

... which he immediately sucked back in again as Axel's hands found purchase on the obvious strain in his jeans. His eyes snapped open again to meet Axel's misty eyes.

"You're divine." Axel whispered, calming Roxas down again as he pressed a kiss to a bite-mark on the blonde's neck. "You're sublime." Next, a hot lick, mimicking the one Roxas had given him earlier.

Roxas felt Axel grin on his skin more than saw it. "You blow my mind."

"You're so sly." grinned Roxas weakly as he felt a hand rub exactly where he wanted it. Heat shot down to that exact location. Axel returned the smile as his fingers squeezed just gently. Roxas whimpered and his hips bucked forward just slightly. The two fell silent and the bus rode on, oblivious to the activities going on in the far back of the bus. Which was just as well.

Roxas heard the faint signs of a zipper being pulled down.

Pleasure to meet you, indeed.

Their mp3 players had since then fallen to the floor, still on, batteries running low.


So that was how he had gotten here. Funny how things worked out sometimes. Roxas shook his head, blowing out a breath of exasperation. The red-head had purposely missed his own stop to follow him to his dorm room. But Axel couldn't stay here long; Roxas's roommate would be showing up soon. As much as Roxas didn't like the idea, he would have to kick his new-found friend out.

Sliding off of the desk, he tottered over to the slumbering red-head. "Axel, get up. You can't stay here long, you need to go meet up with the rest of your band, don't you?"

Axel opened one eye, blinking briefly at Roxas to clear the sleep from his eye. "What if I don't want to go?"

"Then the Resident Assistant will come and kick you out." Roxas replied with a roll of his eyes, rubbing at another smarting spot on his collarbone. Damn love bites. Axel grinned at the movement, not resembling anyone who would be getting up and leaving anytime soon.

"Roxas…" He reached out, snatching at the blonde's wrist and pulling him towards the bed. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Oh god, Axel, don't start." Roxas sighed, allowing Axel to tug him down. He sat down at the edge of the mattress. There was a sharp pain at his wrist as he shifted. With a start, Roxas looked down to see Axel sucking at the mark he had just inflicted. "The hell are you doing?"

With another sharp pull, Roxas was dragged into Axel's chest. The last thing he heard before a pair of roaming hands and lips descended on him earned Axel a groan of annoyance.

"So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!"


This one-shot fought me and refused to be written, right to the finish. And it had bloody accomplices! Thursday, my computer crashed and after getting a new processor, I spent about thirty minutes believing that all of my Word documents had vanished into the abyss. In the end, I got everything back, but it wasn't a pleasant experience.

For those who are wondering about Special Discount… I beg for you all to be patient with me. It's going to take a while for me to sort through my new computer, and I have so many other things to do as well. Oi oi…

Lawl. Don't forgot to review:D