Once upon a time...
(Demi: Okay, I suck. Continue for me. xD)
In a far away Host Club-like land...
Kaoru burst into tears.
He cried because...
He has thought of a plan… That could destruct their lord forever.
(Demi: Let's start over. xD Let's write in paragraphs. xD; I can't keep track of all of this!)
(Kuro: xDD lmao.)
(Okay… I'll start recording...NOW!)
Once upon a time in a far away land (otherwise known as college) Kaoru cackled upon thinking of an ingenious plan.
(Kuro: Cackled. Hmm. Kind of a spurred description)
He cackles, because he's just found something that could destruct his past lord forever!
(Demi: lol. xD Me will continue. :3)
(Kuro: -passes the beacon of writing over to Demi-san-)
(Demi: OKAY! D)
(Kuro: CHARGE! I was thinking that he just found a ring or something. And he knew that Tamaki was gonna propose. So decided to formulate a plan.)
(Demi: Ah good idea.)
(Kuro: o.o REALLLY? XD)
(Demi: Dun spoil it! slaps hand over Kuro's mouth)
(Kuro: x.x :x)
(Kuro: GO GO GO!)
Kaoru was rummaging in his past lord's backpack. And then found something that he would think was super! Held in his hand was a beautiful...beautiful box...Kaoru's mind clicked as he flipped open the lid. And...he...found...a...
(Kuro: AHAHAHHA XD)
WHAIUCHNWUTDIK! The beautiful box was just a waste. ;-;
(Kuro Environmentally damaging...)
(Kuro: damn...my Dad just said I'm going in 10 minutes. -.-)
Ah-ah-ah...Kaoru found something underneath the box. And...lo...and...behold! He found a sparkling diamond ring, and then Kaoru's frown drifted up to a large cheshire smile. And his mind won the Noble Peace Prize.
(Kuro: LMFAO. Don't worry, we'll just talk like mad! And hopefully halfway finish!)
(Demi: I pass the rod to you)
(Kuro:...My Dad's right next to me and blocking my inspirational vent.)
(Demi: D: Darnz.)
(Kuro: I HAVE 20 MIN. NOW!)
(Demi: Type liek mad!)
(Demi: TYPE LIEK YOU HAVE ALL THE FINGERS IN THE WORLD!)
With this brilliant plan, Kaoru ran down the stairs to the dorm that he and his twin brother shared. Bursting through the door, he yelled to Hikaru...
"TAMAKI'S GETTING MARRIED TO HARUHI!'
Did. He. Just. Hear...MUSIC?
Hikaru bolted into a sitting position from his bed, papers scattering everywhere. -The plan is in motion!-
(Kuro: xDD Music? XD Explanation?)
(Demi: Music as in Kaoru screaming.)
(Kuro: HAHAHAHHGAA LMFAO.)
(Kuro: I think Hikaru and Kaoru have to cuddle now. :3)
(Demi: Yesh. As they burst into tears.)
The twins threw their arms over each other and cried.
And sobbed into each other's shoulders.
(Kuro: More drama. ;)
But in the black corner of their minds, they thought of a way to give pay back to Tamaki who stole away their blooming flower of youth.
(Kuro: Bwahahhaa. Perfect! Now...should we change scenes? Hmm.)
(Kuro: Maybe we should flip over to Tamaki proposing to Haruhi and the twins harboring in a tree.)
(Demi: I think flamers are gonna run us over for doing this. xD;)
(Kuro: lmfao why? xD)
(Demi: I dunno. xD)
(Kuro: We're brilliant! No one can shoot us down! o.o)
(Demi: THEY CAN! WITH PEANUT BUTTER AND EGGS! D:)
(Kuro: NOT US! -hands out the bullet-proof vests and non-stick helmets-)
(Demi: WE ARE INVINCIBLE!)
(Kuro: Now we ish protected:)
(Demi: -beats chest- INVINCIBLE!)
(Kuro: LMFAO. WARRIOR CRY!)
(Demi: RAWR! No...mew.)
(Kuro: AWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA! -eyes shine- AWWWW. Meoooooow.)
(Demi: xD; NYUUU. Okay. Back to the story. xD;)
(Kuro: lmfao. That was a sound check xD)
(Demi: Of course.)
(Demi: SCENE CHANGE!)
Tamaki fell dramatically to one knee. "Marry me, bitch!"
(Demi: xD .)
(Kuro: Yup. Hehehehe. –giggles-)
Haruhi only stared at him.
In horror? Or shock? He couldn't' be sure. Tamaki's heart raced like what warrior's do when they shout their war cries!
Not only because this stupid blonde idiot proposed to her, but she was busy doing
(Demi: Wups. Too late. xD; Delete that.)
(Kuro: lmao. Keep going! …doing...Hikaru? xD)
…doing something like...
...mowing the lawn with a pair of toothpicks!
SHE WAS CONCENTRATING, DAMMIT!
(Kuro: LMFAO. -breaks out into hysterical laughter- I can't...go on...it hurts...XDDD)
(Demi: You can live. xD -my stomach hurts. xF- Can't...breathe. O.O)
(Kuro: Mine does too. A LOT. xD)
(Kuro: oo LIVE!)
(Demi: Okay. Okay. xD)
(Kuro: I think we should add that in there.)
Tamaki took a hand...
(Kuro: It's brilliant.)
And took a glue bottle.
He gazed up seriously with his blue eyes and Haruhi instantly flushed purple—cus' he was squeezing her hand so hard-.
"MARRY ME AND PERMANETLY HAVE THIS RING GLUED ON YOUR FINGER WITH SUPER GLUE!" he screamed, that the tree behind them fell with a crash.
Haruhi's ears pop.
(Kuro: LMFAO! XDDDDD)
(Demi: Go Kuro Go!)
Hikaru and Kaoru tackled Tamaki, bashing him over the head with a box. "Haruhi," they said seriously, looking up into her eyes as Tamaki wriggled underneath them, "glue causes skin cancer."
Haruhi blinked in confusion. "Huh?"
(Kuro: And that's all I got XD. I thought I had more. XD)
"You can't rub it off without immediate warm water!" they hollered in her face. "DUN MARRY HIM!"
(Demi: They're miles away form the nearest restroom.)
There was a deafening silence.
A bird crapped on Tamaki's shirt.
The twins laughed so hard that they let go of him
Tamaki leapt to his feet and grabbed Haruhi and hauled her over his shoulder. "SHE IS MINE!" With a mad laugh, he scampered away across the field.
And he tripped over that goddamn rock!
Cheering, the twins snatched up Haruhi and held her at fake gunpoint (this involved Hikaru forming his index finger and thumb into a mime of a gun). "You want Haruhi?" they sneered. "Then listen to what we say, very carefully!"
(Kuro: Conversation isn't my forte. Feel free to modify.)
"The week before you marry..." they said slowly, making sure Tamaki heard every word they uttered. "...you must go to a wedding dress tailoring store thingy, and get a CUSTOM made wedding dress that fits you! Make sure it had ten times the amount of frills and tell them it's for a womanly man!"
"NEVER!" the blonde hissed, shaking his fists at them.
"Oh yeah?" they rebutted heatedly. Their eyes glazed, and Hikaru pulled the trigger. "Bang."
"NOOOOOOO!" Tamaki screamed.
Haruhi gave the twins a bored look. "A cross-dressing wedding?"
He fell onto his knees, and sobbed.
"Haruhi...your innocent blood has spoilt your beautiful face!" he whispered in an agonizing whisper, reaching towards the bored face of Haruhi.
He fell again onto the floor. Tamaki pounded the grassy floor, until he murdered a colony of ants. He screamed into the sky. "WHY ME? I'M SO HANDSOME! WHY MUST GOD BRING THIS UPON ME?"
(Demi: Like hell will she marry him. xD)
(Kuro: L.M.F.A.O. Murdered a colony of ants. XD)
Frowning, and tilting her head to one side, Haruhi muttered, "Well...his loyalty won't be hindered...don't have to worry about that..."
The twins shrug and look at the pathetic lug that was on the floor.
But the question remained: loyalty...or living in sanity?
(Kuro: xD Lug. Hehe.)
The pathetic lug smashed his face into the dirt; the millions of innocent corpses of ants stuck to his face.
He pulled back up, and looked like his face was caked.
"RAWR!" he screamed.
(Demi: I have no more ideas. D:)
(Kuro: laughs hysterically back stage)
Kaoru and Hikaru cringed. "Ew."
(Kuro: INTERMISSION! WE HAVE A FAN!)
Haruhi winced in disgust. She walked towards Tamaki, and kicked him.
(Kuro: Someone that will guaranteedly read this!- O)
Tamaki doubled over and began sobbing again, the caked corpses running off his face. "H-Haruhi...wh-why?"
Haruhi frowned down at him. "Tamaki, if I say yes, will you shut up?"
Tamaki nodded and looked up at her with pathetic eyes. "Maybe."
(Demi: OH MY F-CKIN GOD. SOMEONE IS BEEPING THE DAMN HORN TO A STUPID CAR! ...okay. :3 -peaceful-
And, due to the fact that her ears were already damaged from previous noise of popping balloons in her class (the twins' doing) she said those fateful words: "Then I will."
(Kuro: lmfao. Who the hell is it?)
"Oh my!" he cried, clasping her hands into his.
"I LUV YOU!"
Haruhi sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes..."
"I WILL LUVE YOU!"
"AND MARRY YOU!"
"WE'LL EAT OOTORO EVERY DAY!"
"AND GIVE YOU AN UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF CHILDREN!"
"AND GIVE YOU FOOT MASSAGES!"
"I'LL MASSAGE YOUR FINGER!"
"IF THE PAIN GETS TO BE TOO MUCH, I'LL HIRE A DOCTOR TO AMPUTATE IT PAINLESSELY, AND SEW ON ANOTHER FINGER!"
"AND I'LL DONATE MY FINGER IF YOU WANT!"
"ALL MY FINGERS!"
"TAKE THEM ALL! THEY'RE YOURS!"
"EVEN MY HAIR!"
"I'LL GIVE YOU MY LUSCIOUS HAIR!"
"I CAN BE BALD! IT'S OKAY!"
"IF YOU'RE HAPPY, IT MIGHT PRODUCE CELLS TO GROW BACK THE STRANDS!"
With these proclamations, he buried his face into her neck and began sobbing once again.
The twins: T-T
"OH, HARUHI, I LUB YOU FOREVER AND EVER!" he exclaimed.
Haruhi cringed. "Forever...?"
The twins sneered at her from across the field. "Therefore there's no hope of divorce," they cackled.
"OH NOES! NO DIVORCE!" Tamaki hollered.
Haruhi was gonna be deaf one day.
"FINE, FINE, NO DIVORCE!" Haruhi yelled back, blocking her ears. "Please, please, shut up!"
Tamaki pulled away from her, and looked at her seriously. "I. Lub. You."
Haruhi blinked. "Um..I...lub...you?"
"I'll buy you a puppy!"
Tamaki cheered, spinning her around in circles. "HURRAY!"
"A puppy with your eyes! It'll be adorable!"
Haruhi sealed her lips, for if she opened them...she shall barf up her sashimi that she had for lunch.
And doing so will spray enzymes and all that shitty shit on Tamaki's coat.
And release toxic fumes that could possibly kill her.
But a thought ran through her mind: Maybe...I want death.
It would be release from this idiot...
(Demi; The poison will add to Global Warming. O.o)
(Kuro: True. O.O HARUHI DONT DO IT! smacks rolled-up paper against the desk
(Demi: WORSE THAN ALL THESE FAT, INSENSITIVE COWS THAT FART! D:)
"DAMN YOU COWS!" cried Tamaki, shaking his fist towards the open sky. "DAMN YOU ALL! YOU'LL NEVER GET MY BRIDE! NEVAH!"
"But...dono...aren't you forgetting something?" the twins grinned. "Your agreement to our plan?"
He shook a meat cleaver in the air. "I'lL KILL YOU ALL-!" He paused in his rant. Tamaki snapped an evil look in their direction. "I never agreed to such a monstrosity!"
(Kuro: Meat clever. HAH. XD)
Easily like hot knife through butter, the twins snatched Haruhi away again.
(Kuro: A REAL GUN APPEARED?)
They pulled out a gun and put it to her temple. Haruhi only blinked and Tamaki screamed.
"AGREE WITH THE GODDAMN DEAL!" they yelled.
A shrilling scream that disturbed the birds crapped on his shirt in irritation. "WHAT DEAL!"
"THE DEAL THAT YOU'LL CROSSDRESS IN A FRILLY WHITE DRESS AT YOUR WEDDING AND SCAR EVERYONES EYES FOR LIFE!"
"I'LL NEVER DO IT!"
The twins smiled eerily.
As they said in a low voice, "Then say good bye to Haruhi."
A stream of icing layered her head.
"OMIGOD! MY HARUHI'S HEAD!"
"Oh God," she grumbled. "Another shower...
"FEAR NOT, HARUHI!" Tamaki hollered. "I'LL GIVE YOU MY HAIR!"
(Kuro: XDD. Oh my god this is hysterical...xD)
(Demi: I believe so. xDDD)
(Kuro: Teeheehee...dry of ideas. -.- -ponders-)
Haruhi wiped off a handful of icing and threw it on the ground. "Damn you all."
Tamaki clenched his fists and glared evilly at the twins, for they were laughing in such a way, that even a pig would be jealous.
"How could you?"
Tamaki rushed to Haruhi and gathered her in his arms. "How could you destruct such a beautiful work of art? Something that angels painted? HOW DARE YOU SMOTHER IT WITH ICING?"
The twins stuck their tongue out at him.
"No one painted me, Tamaki..." Haruhi murmured, shoving him off
Tamaki took her face delicately between his trembling hands. "Yes they did, Haruhi. I see you like you truly are." With that he began snogging her wildly.
(Demi: Now what? Hmm. Let's go to the tailors!)
(Kuro: YAY! -marches off-)
(Demi: -grabs everyone and dumps them at tailor shop-)
(Kuro: Snogging meaning making out...I'm full of British phrases today...-.-)
(Demi: xDl OHH.)
(Kuro: Well that was easy enough! Haha, what?)
Tamaki ran up to a counter. "I WANNA ORDER A DRESS FOR MESELF!"
The woman at the counter looked at him and then at Haruhi. "You mean for that woman-"
(Kuro: lmfao –giggles-)
Tamaki slammed his hands on the desk. WHAM. WHAM. WHAM. "NO! FOR MEEEE!"
(Kuro: HahahHAH XD)
The twins only tagged along, and they stood behind Haruhi laughing. Remember: Laughing is contagious. So Haruhi started to laugh too. And Tamaki felt hurt.
(Kuro: Aww )
"Make it a MANLEH dress!"
The woman stared: o.O
The woman behind the counter blinked. "I'm sorry, sir, I don't think we make dresses in your..." She looked at him up and down, "Size..."
"I'LL GIVE YOU A FREE TRIP TO JAMAICA!" he screamed. They swore they saw foam collect at his mouth.
(Kuro: Hahhaa xD)
"THERE'S A LIFE AT STAKE." Whirling around, he pointed dead in Haruhi's direction. "MY BRIDE WILL DIE IF YOU DONT HELP ME, DAMN IT. DO YOU LIKE JAMAICA OR NOT? I'LL SEND YOU TO CHINA."
The woman stared.
"I'LL SHIP YOU TO A WHORE HOUSE IF YOU WANT!"
"I can...call the police..."
(Demi: xD I seriousy have no idea what a whore house is... -cough-)
(Kuro: lmao. I do –grin- It's not pleasant xD)
Kaoru shoved Tamaki aside, and smiled like morning sun at the person. "What he requests, is what we want." Hikaru kicked Tamaki outta his way, before gliding up to the counter top. "So do it or we dump this friggin tailor store."
The woman looked like she just ate poo.
(Demi: You may write, Kuro.)
"I'll see the choices we have..." With a sour glance towards the fallen Tamaki, she walked to the back, and...
(Kuro: Hmm. This is difficult. xD)
(Demi: WHAT IS SIZE 8? O.o Okay, scratch that.)
(Kuro: lmao. –erases-)
"WE HAVE A ONE-SIZE FIT ALL!" she declared, flouncing a maternity dress.
"Uhm.." the twins ring as they stared at the dress. "...OKAY!" they declared.
"WHAT IS THIS?" Tamaki asked, grabbing the fabric into his very hands. "This...stretchy cloth?" His gaze snapped towards Hikaru and Kaoru. "Do you really think I'll fit in this?"
"Maybe," they shrugged.
(Demi: Kuro? O.o Oh noes. u died? POKE OF LIEF! -poik-)
(Kuro: -rises- Arrrgh. Brb.)
Tamaki's face darkened. "Wait..." His eye just caught sight of the tag. "I can't wear this! It's...for..." his last words were choked whispers, "-pregnant people-."
(Kuro: -shrugs- First stupid thing that came to mind.)
The twins grabbed Tamaki and kicked him into a changing room. "We DUN CARE!"
Haruhi and the twins leaned forward in anticipation, waiting for the former host club kind to emerge from that curtain…
BUM BUM BUMMMM
But NAY! He did not come out!
...not yet anyways...
The zipper...WAS STUCK!
"DAMN IT!" came Tamaki's shriek.
It was stuck on what better than his luscious hair?
The twins snickered, thoroughly enjoying themselves. "Let's hope it rips out!" Hikaru snickered.
(Kuro: Whoops. Already said snickered. Hikaru CHORTLED!)
(Demi: xD; Lol.)
"Why of course!" his brother agreed, patting him on the back. "It would be a disaster!"
Hikaru then collapsed on the floor from a laughing fit. All the chortling was eating away his luuuungs
Tamaki shot a glare out from the curtains. "DAMN YOU ALL! RAWR!"
Then, his face changed to a sweet gaze. "Oh Haruhiii," he beckoned, motioning her forward. "Come help me with this dress will you?"
The twins pointed dead into his direction. "HENTAI!"
Haruhi stood her ground. "Hell no."
Hikaru patted her on the shoulder. "Good dog."
And Tamaki's face became pale as a...
(Demi: I think.)
(Kuro: xD. Or perhaps a jar of whipped cream.)
Tamaki flopped onto the floor. Dead. In utter defeat. From the pressure of putting on a dress.
(Demi:O! OMFG! Lyke yah! B3)
(Kuro:whisper: Demi, our main character got killed off. What now?)
(Demi: -hem- I dunno.)
(Kuro: Revive him?)
Suddenly, the counter lady rushed in with a bucket of cold water and sloshed it onto his head
The twins walked over as casually as they could. They whipped out a potion made of mash potatoes and force fed him, when he did not respond to the water.
"Happens all the time," she told the wide-eyed twins, dusting her hands off and walking away.
Tamaki sprang up and kicked Hikaru in the nose!
(Kuro:O The DRAMA.)
(Demi: The PAIN.)
Kaoru whacked him over the head with the poison vile. "Don't hurt my lover!"
"I DUN FUDGING CARE!"
"Oh fudge you," Hikaru cussed.
This all resulted in a big...dusty...fight.
With pink swirls.
Haruhi staaaared. TT
And did nothing.
(Kuro: O yesh! Brilliant!)
"What the hell am I getting married to...?" she wondered to herself.
"You fools!" Tamaki cried, as he kicked Hikaru off his boot. "You can never overcome your lord!"
(Kuro: Speculated. She speculated. :P xD!)
"We can mutiny," smirked the twins up at him.
"JUST LET ME GET THE GODDAMNED DRESS ON!" Tamaki screeched.
His face turned...bloo. As a bed sheet.
He ripped his maternity dress by tripping over the floor. As furious as a future bride on bridezilla, he flounced back into the changing room.
(Kuro: Perfect xD. -rubs hands together in malicious glee-)
He slammed the door hard, and the door flew back and slammed into his face.
How it happened...nobody knew.
So everyone just gasped and gaped.
They fainted, and turned...bloo.
Dun. Dun. DUN!
And that was the end of that.
For some reason Kyouya, Mori, and Honey magically appeared. They popped out from the trunk of the moldy chest, and then went: BOO!
...flashed his camera furiously. If this made the front page of the newspaper, he would gain millions.
And Kaoru in his flowery dress.
Kaoru in his beautiful dress...
And Hikaru hitting on his brother mentally from across the way...
Oh would he love to...
(Demi: -ghasp- Dirty minded Hikaru! –whacks-)
Hikaru chuckled to himself, still eyeing Kaoru with a very tainted eye...
After the wedding, he better grab Kaoru and bolt themselves shut inside of a closet. Mwahahaha...
(Kuro: Hell yes. :P)
(Demi: Oh yeah.)
(Kuro: It's bound to happen! Hehe…we're such yaoi pervs…)
(Demi: Of course! Ah! Lit wants to help write this disturbing fiction. xD;)
(Kuro: The more the merrier!)
Quickly, so not to mentally disturb the readers, the camera swings to Haruhi in her groom's suit at the alter.
(Lit: So what happens?)
And then...Hikaru puts himself in a dire situation where he tripped over his high heels.
"OMFG! KAORU SAVE ME!"
Kaoru rushed in with the paramedics by his side! He grabbed Hikaru's heels and chucked them away, and cradled his brother very darling-ly in his arms. "Don't fret, my brother, the heels are gone from this world."
Unbeknownst to the readers, the heels were just sticking out from the ceiling.
"You don't have to worry about being troubled ever again."
"HIKARU! YOU TOUCH MY HEART SO!"
(Kuro: ...HAHAH xD That last line...classic. xD'Hikaru! 'You touch my heart so!' xD I am writing that DOWN. -scribbles madly-)
(Lit: Okay. Switch scene.)
(Demi: No switch scene. D:)
(Lit: Yes switch scene.)
(Kuro: Nooooooo. –tears- Then the wedding is skipped!)
The best woman for Tamaki was Kyouya.
(Kuro: Yay:D -grabs Demi's hands and dances in circles-)
The reverend stands in front of the podium.
He was dressed in a purple and dazzling gown. WITH A CROWN ON HIS HEAD!
(Kuro: …-snorts with laughter into hand- XD –claps- He is the king through and through!)
He walked up to the podium with his black notebook in his hands. He will now make a speech concerning the bride.
A big banner behind him, "We are here to celebrate the marriage of... a Tamaki idiot and Fuijioka Haruhi."
And when Tamaki walks through the door, he makes everyone KNEEL!
Kneel before thy king!
"I AM YOUR GOD!"
Someone chucks a tomato.
"OMIGOD! MY DRESS! YOU BITCH!" Tamaki fists the air, "WHO DARES DEFY ME! IT'S RED!"
Hikaru raised a hand, "MEEE!"
(Demi: ORDER! Shush. We should go in order now. Each person tribute a post. Goes in: Kuro, Demi, Lit)
(Lit: …I'm LAST.)
(Kuro: Why am I first?)
(Demi: So? NO COMPLAINTS! –kicks toilet seat to prove point-)
(Kuro: …FINE! –sticks out tongue- Meh to you.)
(Demi: Okay! Go!)
(Kuro: Meh to organization. CONDEMN THE WORLD! –shakes fist- Oh…I'm on.)
(Demi: Yush. xD)
Coughing, Kyouya opened his notebook. "Tamaki...wasn't always an idiot. Once upon a time he was a very intelligent young boy. But, then came a day, when he encountered a very tall flight of stairs...and an apple peel."
(Kuro: I have nooo clue. Demi's turn!)
"Miracously...he slipped on the peel. And...well. He became not so intelligent anymore. I believe that by marrying him off to Fujioka Haruhi, I may say a sentence that I will never forget," Kyouya announced. He drew in a breath and declared, "GOOD RIDDANCE! DAMN, HE WAS A HORRIFYING CREATURE!" He slammed the podium with a fist. "DAMN HIM, AND ALL OTHER TAMAKIS OUT THERE! RAWR!"
(Kuro: Demi releases her anger in healthy ways. :D Good on ya!)
The reverend coughed, "And everything changed for the worse after something fell onto his head and splattered his brain open and replaced it with a can of hairspray. He was never the same since that fateful day when he decided to have an obsession with Haruhi's chocolate hair, and wondered if it really tasted like chocolate. And with everyone following, he had led his own life into disaster."
(Demi: KURO! Your turn! –shakes-)
"Amen!" Hikaru crowed from somewhere in the crowd.
(Demi: xD. Nothing, nevermind. My turn.)
"ALLELUIA! PRAISE THE LORD!"
"Is it me or should I rethink everything and go back to gardening with otousan," Haruhi sweat dropped as everyone began bowing down to nothing in particular.
(Demi: Now. The procession. Go Kuro go! -throws cookies everywhere-)
The orchestra broke into a chimining chorus of instruments playing a loud, shrieking, "Pochabell's cannon". The doors in the back flew open! Everyone's head turned, eager to see what would come walking through the doorway. Haruhi gulped.
(Kuro: -catches a cookie- WHEE!)
(Demi: Meh turn.)
Haruhi walked in a groom outfit, as she walked down the red isles. Her escort was...her cross-dressing father, now dressed in a tutu to fit the occasion. All eyes were on her and she could see the priest-(For some reason, Honey)-stand at the alter with a book in his hands.
(Lit: Hey, Tamaki was wearing a maternity outfit? Right? o.o)
(Kuro: Yup. :D Only thing that'd fit his manly figure. –giggles-)
(Demi: But he looked so handsome!)
(Kuro: One size fits all!)
(Demi: -fakes a swoon-)
(Kuro: -faints dreamily-)
(Demi: WITH HIS LUSCIOUS BLONDE HAIR! OH MY! –hearts-
BUUUUT. Kaoru's way better.)
Tamaki was walking down with a large over-sized maternity wedding gown that seemed to fit him perfect, if it didn't seem like it gave him flabs. Some people in the audience seemed to be swooning at his hair and his lovely violet eyes... until they noticed that he was wearing a dress.
Another person threw rotten cabbage at him and hit him smack in the face.
(Demi: Go KURO!)
Tamaki growled at the little kid who so happened to have a rotten vegetable at hand to do that, but bravely continued down the aisle. "all for Haruhi," he muttered. "All for Haruhi..."
Somewhere in the audience, a woman whispered to another, "Is this legal?"
(Demi: Meh turn. Hehehe.)
"Now...does anyone," Honey said in a low voice, "Object to the marrying of Tama-chan and Haru-chan?"
In the background, Hikaru sprung up and shot his hands into the air. "OBJECTION!"
"USA-CHAN?" he gasped in dismay and disappointment. Honey glared at the pink bunny. "How COULD you say that?"
(Demi: Can't pin the blame on him. :x)
(Kuro: AWWW! –dies from cuteness-)
(Demi: -passes beacon to Lit-)
After Use-chan had a fair share of dunkage in the nearby punch bowl, Hani resumed, coughing slightly, "Alright, does anyone /else/ object to the bonding of these two?"
Kaoru nudged Hikaru again, and Hikaru smirked. They chorused, "OBJECTION!" They were going to draw out this torture looong and haaard.
(Lit: -nudges Kuro-)
Tamaki glared at them, ready to chuck his bouquet across the chapel. "I don't object!" he fired back.
(Demi: My turn?)
(Kuro: Yeah, I'm running dry. xP GO DEMI GO!)
Ranka jumped up from his seat: "I OBJECT! THIS FUDGING MONKEY HAS NO RIGHT TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER!"
Tamaki sprang from his seat and glared. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FUDGE MONKEY?"
"I AM FUJIOKA RANKA, AND I DUB. YOU. FUDGE MONKEY!" he screamed, flinging his hand around. Tamaki's eyes turned pink, and he hoarsely exclaimed.
"I AM NOT A-"
"STOP MAKING FUN OF MONKEYS!" Honey screamed, whacking Tamaki out cold with a fist. Everyone stared: OO And Honey resumed his regular fluffeh cuteness. "Anyone else object?"
(Kuro: -laughs hysterically. Wipes tear from eye- Okay…regaining self… now…to write.)
The audience, stiff with fear, shook their head. Kaoru piped up in a small voice, "Um...we can't go on..without a bride.."
Hunny looked down at Tamaki and gasped. "Oh no! Tama-chan! Someone KILLED him!"
(Kuro: Done…for now. xD –gives pen to Demi-)
"USA-CHAN TO TEH RESCUE!" Honey screamed, as he shoved his bunny onto Tamaki's face. "CPR! CPR WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH USA-CHAN!"
(Demi: Okay, LIT!)
Kyouya forgot about everything and begun taking pictures of the foaming Tamaki to be put for sale as the stupidest scenes ever, guaranteed to make you laugh.
The twins just giggled.
(-Demi steals pen from Kuro-)
Honey rubbed his chin. THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!
He gathered his fists and courage and strength, and raised his fists high into the air.
(Kuro: …it was my turn.)
He rammed it hard onto Tamaki's chest, and - "OOGH!"
(Demi: Sorry. xD Feel free to go.)
A lightbulb flashed on top of the twins' heads. "And if that doesn't work...!" Grabbing a broom, and a nearby bed sheet, they sprinted up to the alter and dressed up the broom like Tamaki. "Lustrous hair included," Hikaru grinned, running his hands through the stiff broom hairs.
"Idiots!" Tamaki growled, knocking all three of them away. "The king is still fit to man the throne!" Springing to his feet, he glared into the reverend's frightened eyes. "Continue," he hissed.
(Demi: -takes pen-)
"UHM! TAMA-CHAN ARE YOU WILLING TO TAKE HARU-CHAN AS YOUR WIFE?" Honey screamed, before his bunny latched onto him and calmed him down. "In sickness, or grief, or whatevers, and stuff...are you willing to take Haru-chan as your wife?"
"OF COURSE!" he exclaimed. "CUS I LUB HER!"
(-Kuro steals pen-)
"Charming," Haruhi grumbles.
(Kuro: -waits in anticipation for the next part of the story- :3 –pokes Lit-)
(Lit: …who me?)
(Lit: Aw. Can I just lurk? Pretty please?)
(Demi: Ah wells, stupid Lit. Letsa continue without her.)
(Kuro: Hehe, you are worthy to look. As long as you participate in later! –evil smile- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! –coughcoughhackhack- Continue, Demi-sama.
"Okay. You! HEY YOU!" Honey yelled, kicking the chair that Haruhi was snoozing on. Haruhi woke up with a start.
"Beautiful bride of..er...that guy," Honey said, jabbing a thumb at Tamaki. "Are you willing to make this guy your husband forevah?"
(Demi: Continue Kuro.)
Haruhi paused, thinking about that. "Well..."
"Object, Haruhi!" her father pleaded in the audience, tears streaming down his cheeks and smothering his mascara. "OBJECT!"
Momentarily confused, Haruhi stammered, "I object...? Wait. Wait, no. I say yes!"
Tamaki cried with glee and broke into a series of claps.
'Shit. I'm married to an idiot.'
(Kuro: Kay. Continue. xD)
"Kaoru..." Hikaru woefully said, as he handed his twin brother a metal spoon. His twin stared at the sparkling utensil and looked at Hikaru questionably.
"Gouge my eyes out when they kiss."
"W-What?" he sputtered. He shoved the spoon back into Hikaru's hands. "No! You're supposed to gouge MY eyes out! My eyes are more special!"
-Ghasp- Twin fight!
"Husband, you may kiss your bride," Honey declared, shooting his hands into the air. "KISS! I COMMAND THEE!"
(Demi: continue. xD)
(Kuro: XD How can I possibly top that? lmao he should have given Kaoru a spork...giggles)
Tamaki, took a step towards Haruhi to take her into his arms, and on instinct (because anyone would with a crazy man in a dress lumbering towards them) she took a step to the side. Of course, Tamaki tripped over the hem and went crashing to the ground...
"It's a miracle!" Hikaru whooped.
...and taking Haruhi with him. Their lips locked before they hit the floor
"NOOOO!" screamed the twins, holding each other and sobbing bitterly as the chapel broke into confused claps.
(Kuro: KAORU AND HIKARU SCENE! CLOSET!)
Demi: OMIGOSH! OKAY! CLOSET!)
(Kuro: It's when Hikaru and Kaoru finally come out of the cloest...literally. :D )
(Demi: Mwehehehe. My dwelling place.)
(Kuro: You may write this one, dear Demi.)
(Demi: Huh? No! -shakes head-)
(Kuro: -pitches Demi the writing torch- SPRIIIIINT!)
(Demi: Demi: I have no idea how to. xD; -throws back torch-)
(Kuro: ...have you seen me write a twin sex scene before? -throws the torch high in to the sky so it lands on Demi's head-)
(Demi: -chucks it to Kuro- I can't write it! xD You're more perverted than me ;D)
(Kuro: Hell in my fanfics I haven't even made them kiss yet!)
(Demi: AW YOU DIRTY CHEAT!)
(Kuro: I take that as an insult. -torch soars through the air-)
(Demi: ...fine. xD; But how? O.o)
(Kuro: FINE. You want perverted? I'LL GIVE YOU PERVERTED!)
Kaoru was sitting there. Innocently, when he heard a dark, husky voice by his ear, "Kaoru...that dress...is so sexy..."
Kaoru spun around to find his brother gripping his waist and grinning in a perverted fa shion. "Oh...hikaru..." flustered Kaoru. "We're at a wedding! In the presence of God!"
(Demi: -snorts- Presence...of god. xD)
"Let God screw himself. It's you I want," said Hikaru with a seductive grin.
(Demi: xDDDDDD Omigod.)
(Kuro: You may...continue...since I warmed it up...)
(Demi: He shall. I...wonder...)
(Kuro: GO DEMI GO! WHAT SHALL HIKARU DO NOW?)
Hikaru grabbed his little brother, and dragged him out the door. And surprisingly no one noticed a thing, because they were busy clapping and watching Tamaki and Haruhi make out on the floor.
The twins ran into a closet.
(Kuro: WHOO! And what happened in there the authors cannot describe, because some people are offended by gay sex. Thank you for your cooperation.)
(Demi: The closet monster ran out with a nosebleed after ten seconds.)
(Kuro: xD You see, he's homophobic. Therefore couldn't withstand the heat.)
(Demi: -cough- Anyways...the lock outside clicked. And they were locked inside!)
(Kuro: Oh noes:O)
(Demi: Buuut that doesn't matter really.)
(Kuro: Naw. They didn't notice.)
(Demi: Or didn't care. ;D)
(Kuro: Grr. I had a lead...but it died.)
(Demi: Get the lead!)
(Kuro: OH NO. HOW DO YOU SPELL IT?)
(Demi: URGH! WE'RE GONNA BE SENT BACK TO FIRST GRADE! ;-;)
(Kuro: RUN AWAY FROM THE EDUCATION POLICE!)
(Demi: THEY CAN'T ARREST US! -slaps keyboard-)
(Kuro: K. Story. That was a momentary distraction.)
(Demi: -slaps head-)
(Kuro: Who's turn is it?)
(Kuro: Okay...um. It's a lovely reception...with lots of flowers...and cake…)
But unfortunately Tamaki and Haruhi weren't the first to witness it. Kyouya finally kicked Tamaki in the side, for they were still making out on the floor (Haruhi and Tamaki, I mean o.o). "It's meant to be a KISS," he advised. "Not a make-out session. Everyone's already gone."
Haruhi looked up at the empty chapel (all except for her father in the aisle, holding an axe, aiming straight at Tamaki's head). "Huh?"
(Demi: My turn?)
Tamaki, half drunk on looove, lifted his head and giggled, "Haruhi can't resist guys in dresses, eh...? Hehehehhehehe."
(Kuro: Your turn!)
(Demi: Oh. Kay!)
Haruhi slapped him upside the head, as she stood up from the floor. Tamaki followed after, and stared. Kyouya shrugged and left them alone in the chapel, wondering what happened to the rest of the hosts. Honey, the priest, was probably stuffing his face with all the cake. Mori was probably sitting in a corner while collecting dust.
The twins...Oh. The twins...Kyouya dropped his notebook onto the floor as something popped up in his mind. "WHERE DA HELL ARE DEY?"
But no matter, they are locked into the closet with no way to escape while shredding each others' clothes and making out like hell.
"At least they're contained," he muttered as he heard Tamaki's cry of blue murder from the chapel, as Haruhi's Dad (daaamn forget his naaame) aimed an axe swing at his head.
(Kuro: aaaand I dunno where it should go. xD.)
(Demi: xD Ranka.)
Ranka hollered like an ape, and kept swinging the axe like a mad man. "YOU FUDGING MONKEY!"
"I AM NOT FUDGE!" Tamaki objected.
(Kuro: lmao. Me!)
Tamaki shredded the hem of his beautiful white maternity dress so much by running around the chapel to get away from the crazy PMS father until it became a mini skirt.
(Kuro: ooof course XD)
(Demi: IT SHOWED HIS BEEUTIFUL SKIN!)
(Kuro: Ahhh! All its pale lovliness! (?) :P )
(Demi: xD. Demi: Haruhi found a new reason to have married him.)
(Kuro: xD And suddenly didn't want to go to the reception.)
(Demi: Why not?)
(Kuro: Cause it's a hotel.)
(Demi: I see.)
(Kuro: And when your husband-bride is in a mini skirt you don't wanna reception.)
(Demi: Hahaha. OF COURSE NOT!)
(Kuro: THERE WE GO! Hasn't Haruhi always thought sensibly?)
(Demi: She didn't want anyone else to see his...smexeh legs.)
(Kuro: Yeees...that's one reason. The female guests of the wedding might be overcome with a powerful urge! o.o And Haruhi didn't want to compete in her suit.)
(Demi: yes. Anyways...Tamaki escaped out the door and surprisingly...THERE WAS A BLIMP:O)
(Kuro: o.o! Right at his aid! Mwahhhaa)
(Demi: A GIANT BALLOON WILLING TO WHISK THEM AWAY TO OUTER SPACE!)
(Kuro: WHOOO! -throws arms in the air-)
Grabbing Tamaki and hauling him over her shoulder (cause Haruhi recently got a free membership to the gym from a scholarship program she entered) and kidnapped him into the blimp.
He gathered Haruhi into his arms, and climbed up the rope ladder.
(Kuro: O! Oh well. Haruhi can capture too! xD)
(Kuro: laughs Oh dear...XD)
(Demi: The blimp began to blow in hot air, and they rose from the floor.)
(Kuro: Then up...up...UP!)
(Demi: They soared into the sunsetty sky.)
From the window, everyone watched with a very confused gaze. "This is the weirdest wedding ever..." grumbled Mori from his depressive corner.
And the closet nearby rattled ominously.
Hunny continued to stuff his face. And he looked out the window, wishing that there were more.
(Kuro: ( Awwww. It can't be an unhappy ending!)
Suddenly, a truck appeared!
And dumped a whole pile of cakes into the reception room! It killed everyone, except for Hunny, Mori, and Kyoya, because they were so used to this kind of thing.
Hunny attacked all those who had cream on their faces. And the closet was unharmed! ;D
(Kuro: Exactly Hehehe Hunny attacks the corpses. :P)
(Demi: And so...THE END!)
(Kuro: -in hysterics- Air...air...AiR! ITS OVER?)
(Demi: YES. WOO! -celebrates-)
(Kuro: SAKE FOR ALL!)
And Demi and Kuro celebrate till the end of the chapter. xD