A.N: This was written for yaoiismy over on Ygal, cause she pwns. SHE asked for this pairing! So I'M not the weird one!

Warning: IbikiGai. Yes, it needs a warning, cause owie, the crack! lol

Disclaimer: ... Yeah, I got nothing. K. Masashi's bitches--I mean bishies...


You can't help who you fall in love with, and sometimes, it ends up being the person you least expect. After all, when Ibiki was sitting at the bar in the local pub, no one could've told him how his night would end. Why? Because he wasn't expecting it, so why would anyone else have assumed it'd end that way?

The interrogator put his empty glass down on the counter and motioned for another, the bartender walking over and grabbing his glass. He left to refill it as Ibiki glanced around the pub. Genma and Kakashi were causing a racket in the far corner with a few other Jounin and some of the Chuunin, while Tsunade and Shizune sat near the door, chatting with a few papers scattered across the table.

The beer was set down in front of him and he thanked the bartender, taking a sip before resting it back on the counter and staring into it. He had a few Chuunin-wanabees to scare tomorrow, but he was really getting tired of being a proctor for the Chuunin exams. He never had anything to do unless there was someone to interrogate, or an exam. Truth be told, he hated both jobs. One was just downright cruel, and the other was annoying. Who wanted to scare the shit out of a bunch of snot-nosed kids? It was boring.

Maybe I'll talk to Tsunade about sending me out on missions again, he mused as he took another sip of his drink. After all, just because I'm a Tokubetsu who specializes in interrogation doesn't mean I can't go out on missions. He glanced over at the Jounin and figured if an idiot like Genma got missions, then he was certainly entitled them, as well.

He played with his glass a bit more, relishing the noise of the bar as he let his eyes go unfocussed. He hated it when things were too quiet, it reminded him of things he'd rather not think about. He rubbed one of the scars on his face unconsciously, but the memories that came with it remained buried in the back of his mind, the noise drowning them out.

"Hey, Gai."

The Tokubetsu turned to see Gai taking a heavy seat beside him with a sigh. He was covered in dirt, and his Jounin vest was ripped in three places. His hands had remnants of dry blood on them, and he had a scratch above his left eye. He was smiling heartily, like he always did, but it was obvious he was really tired.

"Hello, my good man! A beer, please!" he said jovially.

"Sure thing, what kind?"

"Surprise me." He smiled as he leaned forward on the counter, looking at his bloody hands. Ibiki leaned a little closer to look at them. They looked pretty bad.

"How come you're sitting over here instead of over there?" Ibiki asked as he took a sip of his beer and motioned the group of loud Jounin. Genma was dancing on the table, now, and Kakashi was trying to convince him to take off his pants. Kotetsu and Izumo had disappeared towards the bathroom together, which meant they wouldn't be out for a while, and Raidou appeared to be passed out in the corner. It was hard to tell what everyone else was doing, because they were all scattering about in the bar.

"Ah, my rival is drunk." Gai smiled as he looked over. Kakashi had succeeded in getting Genma to take off his pants and Ibiki snorted into his beer uncharacteristically. But it was hard for even him to avoid it. The Jounin was wearing a G-string with the words "Candy" on the front.

"I think Genma is more drunk than Kakashi is."

"Yes, very true, my friend. Very true." Gai patted Ibiki's back, wincing slightly at the injuries on his hand before thanking the bartender, who had just placed a beer in front of him.

"So you're not sitting over there because they're all being rowdy and unruly?"

"That is correct." Gai smiled and drank some of his beer. Ibiki looked at the other's injured hands again, and his dirty, dishevelled appearance.

"If you don't mind my asking, what happened to you?"

Gai laughed loudly, slapping Ibiki on the back again, the interrogator spilling some of his beer, but he didn't really care. The green-clad man was helping to keep his mind off other things.

"A mission, Ibiki, a mission! Everything is fine! It was a success, and no harm done." He continued to laugh.

"Gai!" Both turned to the Jounin table, Genma falling off it as Kakashi stood and made his way unsteadily towards the counter, leaning against it beside Gai. "You're back!"

"I am, my rival! And you are drunk."

"No." He leaned a little closer and smiled through his mask. "I'm just pretending to get Genma to make a fool of himself."

Gai laughed loudly again, slapping Kakashi in the back and commending him on his acting skills. The Sharingan-wielder stayed there for a few minutes, the two rivals talking about Gai's mission while Ibiki listened in. Sounded like he'd had quite a hard time. Ibiki always wondered how Gai could smile no matter what he went through. He was weird like that, but in a way, that was why the interrogator admired him.

"Kakashi!" The man turned to find Kotetsu pointing at a naked and giggling Genma. "You started this."

"Ah, shit." Kakashi rubbed the back of his head, excusing himself from Gai and Ibiki to head back to his idiotic friend. Gai laughed at Genma, shaking his head as he finished off his beer.

"I think I'm gonna head home." Gai said with a smile to Ibiki. He stood up and turned, and promptly fell down.

Ibiki didn't have time to do anything. He barely even saw the other fall, the green-clad man smashing into one of the tables before hitting the ground hard.

"Gai!" A few people cried out throughout the bar, Kakashi and Izumo running towards the man as Ibiki bent down beside him, rolling him onto his back. He just laughed heartily from the floor, giving them all a thumbs up and grinning.

"I was kidding! No harm done, my friends, nothing broken! Go, go." He shooed them all away as he sat up. A few of them looked at him skeptically, but knew he'd call them if he needed them. They all left, though Kakashi lingered a little bit to make sure he was really okay. Gai just leaned closer to Ibiki.

"Help me get out of here."

"You're not drunk, are you?" Ibiki cocked an eyebrow.

"No, but maybe we should pretend I am. Kakashi does not know how much I had to drink before he came over, and I do not act any different when I am drunk."

"Okay, Gai." Ibiki wrapped one of Gai's arms around his shoulders and helped him stand, the raven laughing as he leaned against Ibiki. The interrogator looked at Kakashi and shook his head disapprovingly, as if thinking Gai was an idiot. The grey-haired man pressed his lips together and nodded in thanks before heading back to the Jounin table, where Kotetsu and Izumo were trying to get a struggling Genma back into his clothes.

Ibiki helped Gai out of the pub and started down the street with him, the Jounin leaning heavily against him as he stared at the ground. The interrogator turned to look at him a little as they walked, then faced forward again.

"You're injured."

"I'm fine."

"Tsunade was right there."

"I'm tough as an ox!" Gai insisted with a hearty laugh as he pounded one fist against his chest. He then winced and let the hand drop. "I have been working too hard."

"So I see. Home?"

"Please." Gai looked up at Ibiki, looking a little sheepish. The Tokubetsu dragged him down the street towards the man's bachelor pad. I took them close to ten minutes to get there, but Ibiki didn't mind. Gai talked while they walked, which he liked. Whenever they had bouts of silence, he would ask a question to try and get the other talking again.

After a while, he assumed Gai realized he didn't like the silence, because he started talking about the oddest things, like birds and tea. Then again, maybe Gai just wanted to inform him of his preferences in tea. Who knew?

They reached Konoha's Green Beast's door and Ibiki got it open for him. Gai thanked him and pulled away, using the wall to help manoeuvre into the apartment. Ibiki would admit he was a little concerned.

Okay, he was a lot concerned!

"Gai, did you need help?"

"Unnecessary, my friend! Thank you for bringing me home!" Gai smiled and gave him the thumbs-up as he leaned against the wall. He went to close the door, and Ibiki put one hand out to stop him, slapping it harder than he'd intended against the wood.

"You're hurt, and you still need to shower and treat your wounds. Let me help you, then I'll go." Ibiki stepped into the apartment as Gai babbled that he was fine and could treat his own wounds. The interrogator ignored him. Gai was not fine, dammit! He couldn't even make it home by himself, there was no way he was going to be able to shower and treat himself.

"Shut up, Gai. Let's go." He grabbed the other's arm and helped him to the bathroom. Gai said nothing as they walked, the apartment eerily silent. As soon as they got into the bathroom, Ibiki switched on the tap before helping Gai sit down.

The raven gave him a confused look, but said nothing. Ibiki just walked past him and turned on the water for the shower. He waited for the temperature to be decent before moving back towards Gai and helping him stand. He stripped him of his green vest, and then the rest of his clothing. The raven didn't seem embarrassed to be naked at all. He just allowed Ibiki to help him to the shower.

"Wait, you'll get wet." Gai insisted as Ibiki got under the spray with him, clothes and all.

"Don't worry about it, it's just water." The Tokubetsu leaned against Gai to keep him standing, and then grabbed some soap, rubbing it between his hands before putting it back on the soap-rack and letting his hands run along Gai's body. Ibiki didn't really think anything of it, but Gai blushed a little and looked anywhere but at the Tokubetsu. After a while, he just focussed on the still running water of his tap, trying to ignore the way Ibiki's calloused hands ran along his skin and worked away knots in his muscles.

The Tokubetsu had really gentle hands, considering he was an interrogator, but he knew how to switch back and forth between gentle and brutal. He'd been doing it for years. He took one of Gai's injured hands and carefully washed the blood and dirt away from the wounds. They looked like kunai slashed, and Ibiki figured he'd been caught off-guard and was unable to defend himself. Better to slash your hands to shit than die, right?

When he was satisfied with Gai's hygiene, he turned the water off and leaned out of the shower, still holding Gai up. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around the other man, helping him dry himself off before exiting the shower. Ibiki was leaking water all over the floor, but he didn't seem to care, and Gai didn't really want to mention it.

He was seated on the toilet-lid with a towel around his waist, and Ibiki kneeling in front of him, inspecting the wounds on his hands, and then taking Gai's chin between his fingers to check the wound on his face.

"The one on your face should heal relatively quickly, but your hands are a bit of a concern. I'll wrap them up tonight, but you need to go see Tsunade or a medic-nin tomorrow, understood?"

"I shall." Gai reassured him with a smile.

Ibiki nodded, satisfied, and grabbed some gauze from Gai's cabinet. All shinobi had gauze somewhere, so it wasn't very hard to find. He got on his knees again in front of Gai and started bandaging his hands. Once that was done, he massaged Gai's legs to find the problem with them and realized he had a large gash on the back of his left leg.

"These injuries are bad, why didn't you go see a medic-nin?"

"I always heal relatively fast." Gai smiled widely, as usual. "Do not worry."

"I do worry, these are deep wounds, Gai." Ibiki shook his head. "They'll probably scar."

"I will be fine. Thank you, Ibiki." He patted the man's shoulder before standing unsteadily. Ibiki did, as well. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"Don't worry. It's fine. Make sure you see a medic-nin tomorrow." Ibiki headed for the bathroom door.

"Don't you want a change of clothes?" Gai asked, leaning against the counter. Ibiki shook his head.

"No, I'll be fine. Good night, Gai."

The Tokubetsu headed through the apartment, leaving wet footprints in his wake before Gai heard his front door slam.

The two of them seemed to have started some kind of ritual without even really meaning to. Gai would often return from hard missions and stop in at the pub, injured and exhausted. Ibiki would be there, having a drink, and after a short chat, he'd help Gai home and would shower him before getting his wounds dressed and leaving.

It was the same thing every time. Gai felt really bad, because Ibiki did so much for him, and never once did he find a chance to return the favour. And he felt like they'd become closer. They always talked as Ibiki dragged him home, and he quickly found out the Tokubetsu didn't like the silence. Gai was fine with that, he always had something to say, and he was loud by nature. He also discovered the reason Ibiki showered him fully clothed was because he didn't like other people seeing him undressed, because of all his scars.

But, Gai started finding it harder and harder not to get turned on when Ibiki washed him. It was getting harder not to imagine those hands elsewhere on his body, and doing other things to him. He found himself waking up in the morning having creamed his pants because he'd dreamed about Ibiki, and more than once, while being washed by the interrogator, he'd gotten a hard-on that he'd had to blame on some ridiculous reason.

It was getting harder and harder to find excuses. And Gai didn't feel like denying it anymore. He liked Ibiki. It was that simple. He had feelings for Ibiki, now he just needed to find a way to let the other man know. Which, of course, was easier said than done.

For a month after he'd discovered his feelings, he always said he would lean forward while they showered and kiss Ibiki. He always intended to do it, but when they got in the shower, he couldn't. He was afraid. He enjoyed the time he spent with Ibiki, he didn't wanna lose it by making a mistake and destroying the friendship they'd built.

But he also knew he couldn't keep doing this. He liked Ibiki, and being like this with him all the time was painful, it hurt. He had to do something about it, and if that meant risking what they had, well—he'd have to take that risk.

Tonight! I shall do it tonight! Youthful spirit, Gai! Youthful spirit! He thought to himself as Ibiki helped him down the street, as per usual. They reached his apartment and The Tokubetsu got the door open before helping Gai inside. The Jounin steeled himself as he was led to the bathroom. He could do this. It was easy. And he could blame it on the alcohol—that he hadn't consumed. Darn, I knew I should've had something to drink when he'd offered to pay! Now he didn't even have that excuse!

They entered the bathroom and Gai was slowly undressed before helped into the shower. Now or never! Now or never! He was pressed up against the wall, Ibiki leaning against him, and as the Tokubetsu leaned closer to turn on the shower, Gai shifted so his lips brushed against Ibiki's.

Now most people would think that Gai would be really out there about his feelings, and would express himself loudly with no shame, but that wasn't true. It was harder to admit how he felt about Ibiki, because he could lose him at any moment.

Ibiki pulled back slightly, the water starting to run and sticking his clothes to his body as he stared at Gai. The raven was really scared. Ibiki's face was unreadable. Had he really even realized what had happened.

"Did you do that on purpose?"

Okay, so he had realized it had happened.

Gai swallowed hard. Should he lie? He didn't want to have to lie, because that would be stupid and would defy the purpose of having kissed Ibiki, right? So, he just nodded, not really trusting his voice enough to say anything.

"Why?" Ibiki looked mad. Gai didn't understand why he'd be mad.

"Because I like you." he blurted out.

The interrogator continued to stare at him, an angry glint still in his eyes. The Jounin started to think that maybe Ibiki thought he was making fun of him. But he wasn't. He really did like Ibiki. He was a nice person, and had been helping him out a lot lately for seemingly no reason. Why would Gai be making fun of him?

"Why do you like me?"

What, are we playing twenty questions? Gai smiled at Ibiki and resisted the urge to pat him on the back.

"You're a good friend, Ibiki. You've been a great help to me these last few months, and I appreciate it. I'd like to think I know more about you than anyone else. And you know more about me than everyone except Kakashi."

Ibiki continued to stare at him. "I'm not attractive like you are." he finally said.

"I don't care about that."

They stayed motionless for a while longer, staring at one another, and Gai couldn't take it anymore. He cautiously leaned forward again, giving Ibiki enough time to pull away if he wanted to, but he didn't. The raven pressed his lips against the Tokubetsu's and swiped his tongue across the other's lower lip.

Ibiki wrapped his arms around Gai's waist as he kissed him back awkwardly, his body stiff. He allowed Gai to enter his mouth, their tongues tangling. Gai's was sure and loving while Ibiki's was inexperienced and sloppy, but the Jounin didn't mind. Everyone started somewhere, and he could only assume that because of what had happened to him all those years ago, Ibiki hadn't been in very many relationships.


He sounded scared, and Gai didn't like that. He leaned forward and kissed him again as he gripped the front of Ibiki's shirt in his hands. He pulled the other closer to himself, the Tokubetsu's clothing rough against Gai's naked skin. But it felt good.

"Don't be afraid."

He wasn't going to push Ibiki. He knew that this couldn't just be making out and then sex, it didn't work that way. He was going to have to make sure Ibiki knew he wasn't making fun of him. He wasn't trying to rush him, he wanted to let him get used to this new development at his own pace.

Even if he had to wait for him, Gai wouldn't leave him. Ibiki had suffered enough. And besides, Gai was a very patient person. Only a patient person could be Kakashi's best friend.

"I love you, Ibiki. But don't worry, you don't have to say it, yet." Gai whispered as he hugged the other man. "I won't leave you, I promise."

"Thank you." Ibiki whispered back.

Gai found it so odd. Sometimes, the strongest people in the world were the easiest to break. That was why it was good to have someone else to help put the pieces back together.


Brain is broken -twitches-