Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"My word, what an ovation for a B-movie celebrity," Giles said as he watched the crowd.

"I saw Army of Darkness in London," Angel said, "It's an excellent movie, even if it is a little on the short side."

"I've got to rent it sometime soon," Cordelia said.

"Alright, ladies and monsters," Willy shouted, "The bets are as follows: seventeen people have bet for Xander Harris winning, twelve for Sabu winning, and six for Taz winning, with a side bet of fourteen for someone dying, and two people bet that Bruce Campbell would deck someone."

"Good Lord," Giles said, "I say, Willy, put me down for another hundred on Mr. Campbell punching someone."

"Sure thing, Watcher," Willy said, marking it down.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to gamble so much," Cordelia wondered.

Angel and Giles just smiled and shared a look, then both said, "You ever been to the track?"

ҖECWҖ

The bell rang…

Xander stood back as Taz and Sabu began to move in for each other, obviously wanting to take each other out first. As he examined the two move, he decided that it would be best if he focused on simply helping Taz beat the crap out of Sabu while beating on Taz sporadically. He watched as Taz snapmared Sabu to the mat, then he ran for the ropes as Taz applied a choke and did a low dropkick in Sabu, sending him reeling as Taz let go.

Taz, just out to kick ass and never take names, ran at him in a clothesline attempt. Xander ducked it and grabbed his waist, giving him a German Suplex, sending Taz to the mat. He tried to do it again as his arms were still wrapped around him, but the second he got Taz up, Taz somehow whipped his arms out and grabbed his waist, giving him a belly-to-belly Tazplex. Xander rolled out of it and quickly got to his feet, only to get floored again as Sabu leapt from the corner onto Xander. Sabu quickly got on top of Xander's back and pulled back on his head, locking in a camel clutch.

Taz glared at the two, before running for the ropes, then he sprinted for the other side and turned, heading right for Xander and Sabu. Xander, seeing what he was about to do, bit Sabu's hands as hard as he could, forcing Sabu to let go of him. As soon as he was free, Xander ducked down, barely avoiding Taz's Brooklyn Boot, which hit Sabu squarely in the chest, sending him reeling backwards. Taz bet down and lifted Xander up, then grabbed him and powerslammed him to the mat. Xander got up faster than Taz thought he would and kicked him in the stomach, then grabbed his head and DDT-ed him to the mat.

He then ran for Sabu and gave him a legdrop, then got up and flipped Sabu on his stomach and grabbed his leg, applying his submission maneuver.

THIS MATCH RULES!! THIS MATCH RULES!! THIS MATCH RULES!!

E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

"Single-leg California crab by the Hardcore King of Extreme," Joey shouted, "The fans are certainly getting more than their money's worth tonight."

Taz went for another attempt at his Brooklyn Boot, but Xander ducked it, losing his hold of Sabu as well. Sabu rolled onto his back and kicked Xander as hard as he could in his ass, sending him head-first into the ring post. Taz then grabbed him and went for the pin.

ONE…TW-

Xander grabbed hold of Taz at his groin and his head and rolled himself onto his stomach, rolling Taz onto his back. He roared out as he lifted Taz up and threw him over his head and into corner while he was still on his knees.

HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!

"Wow," Bruce said, "It's a lot better watching it in real life. You guys do this every week?"

"Yep," Faith said with some pride.

Taz instinctively got out of the ring, while Xander got to his feet. As soon as he was there, though, Sabu came out of nowhere and dropkicked him to the mat. He attempted to follow up with a springboard legdrop, but Xander rolled out of the way. He turned on his back and kicked Sabu in the side as he was still sitting, sending him reeling in pain. Xander quickly got up and practically flew onto the top rope, then jumped off, flipping in the air as he did so, and landed on Sabu in a hellacious Shooting Star Leg Drop!

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

Xander quickly got up and ran for the ropes, intending on doing a splash for the pin, only to have Taz grab his leg, tripping him up as he ran. Taz then quickly got in and applied the Tazmission. Fortunately for Xander, though, his foot was still beneath the ropes, causing the ref to force him to let go. Taz quickly got back to his feet, but before he could attack, Xander forced his feet up, using his back as leverage, and kicked Taz as hard as he could in the ribs. Taz was forced backwards and into the ropes, and he grabbed hold of them to keep himself up. Unfortunately, he didn't see Sabu as he jumped off the top rope, holding a chair underneath his extended legs, and rammed the chair directly into Taz's neck, forcing him outside the ring.

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!!

Sabu quickly set up the chair and pointed for the heavens, kicked Xander to keep him down, and ran for the ropes. He ran back towards the chair, jumped onto it, then jumped on the ropes and leapt off them, landing onto the now-standing Taz. Taz, however, saw him coming and managed to grab him when he landed on him, then threw Sabu over him in a hellacious belly-to-belly Tazplex, sending Sabu directly into the crowd!!

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!

TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!!

E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

Xander sat back in the corner as he watched Taz immediately jump into the crowd. Rather than chase after them, he decided to simply sit back and let whatever happened happen. That is, until a rather large individual by the name of Mike Awesome climbed into the ring, with Fonzie right behind him.

"Get him, Mike, kick his ass," Fonzie shouted as he blew his whistle.

"Get up," Awesome said, towering over him.

Xander sighed and climbed to his feet, then ducked down as Awesome went for a clothesline, and kicked him in the back of his knees, bringing the big man down. Xander ran for the ropes and did a springboard dropkick, sending him down to the ground. Xander followed through with a springboard legdrop, keeping Awesome down. He snarled as he turned his attention to Fonzie, who, in spite of seeing him effortlessly take down his crony, did not seem worried at all.

"What the Hell are you smiling about," Xander demanded.

"Mostly the fact that I set up a table," Fonzie said, pointing at said table, "Oh, and the fact that Mike just got up and is right behind you."

Xander stiffened, and quickly turned around, and practically walked into the boot that Awesome had sent for his gut. Awesome then pulled him head-first into his groin, then lifted him up in a powerbomb, and effortlessly carried him over to the ropes and dropped him into the table with thunderous force!

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted.

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!

FUCK YOU, AWE-SOME!! FUCK YOU, AWE-SOME!!

"Well, the fans sure as Hell did not like that," Joey said, "Still, give Fonzie credit, he does know how to keep Xander occupied."

"Why the Hell aren't you doing something," Bruce asked indignantly.

"Ain't no chance in Hell I'm going up against that guy," Jono said.

"I wanna," Faith muttered, "Oh, do I wanna. But, at the moment, it's just Xander and Awesome fighting. If Sabu and Taz weren't so busy beating the crap outta each other, I'm sure Awesome wouldn't be involved at all. If he tries that powerbomb again, though," Faith didn't finish, but her look indicated what she had planned.

Xander tried to blink the stars away, but that impact had simply taken too much out of him to move quickly. His ears were ringing, of course that could be because Fonzie was blowing that damned whistle of his. He couldn't hear anything else. That is, until he heard Jono shout to move. Xander followed his instincts and quickly got off the floor, ducking underneath the ring, just in time as the airborne Mike Awesome painfully connected chest-first with the broken table and concrete!

"Suicide dive by Mike Awesome leads to near suicide," Joey said, "He may be powerful and faster than most cruiserweights, but that don't matter when your head hits that concrete!"

"JONO," Xander shouted, "CHAIR!"

Jonathan nodded and took one of the fan's offered chairs and tossed it to Xander, who caught it and set it up in front of the already moving Awesome. He quickly leapt onto the top rope and waited for Awesome to get to his feet.

"HEY, DICKHEAD," Xander shouted.

As soon as Awesome turned, Xander jumped down, caught his head in the crook of his arm, and rotated around, slamming Awesome's skull into the steel chair in a hellacious DDT!

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!

HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!

E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

ҖECWҖ

"Good Lord," Giles said as he watched the match, "That was a horrendous blow! I hope Xander is alright."

"Oh, please," Cordelia said, "I once saw him get driven through one table into another one that was on fire! He'll be fine."

"Good Lord," Giles muttered, "He really does all this?"

"Yes, he does," Angel stated, "And he's pretty good at it, too."

ҖECWҖ

Taz and Sabu had taken their fight to the other side of the guardrails, still brawling amongst the fans. Fonzie was in the ring, blowing that damned whistle of his. Meanwhile, Xander was trying to keep Mike Awesome from getting the upper hand, which was proving more difficult than he thought.

Xander ducked the fist that Awesome had sent his way, then lashed out with a furious chop to the big man's abdomen. He bent over, clutching his side, and Xander followed up with a stiff kick to the man's temple. The big man wavered for a moment, but still didn't go down.

"God damn you," Xander shouted, "What does it take to put you down!?"

Xander slammed his fist directly into the same spot his steel-toed boot had hit, but only caused Awesome to waver some more. He drew his arm back and swung again, only to have his fist caught in Awesome's larger hands. Awesome grinned at him and applied pressure, causing Xander to groan in pain as he felt his hand breaking.

Then, like an angel, Faith fell from the sky and onto Awesome, landing a dropkick that finally sent the big man down to the ground.

"Jesus, are you alright," Faith said, she was scared to death after seeing what Awesome had done.

"Yeah," he said, flexing his fist only to feel an extraordinary amount of pain, "No. My hand feels like it's been shattered."

"Think you can continue," Faith asked, examining his hand.

"…I guess I'll have to," Xander said.

Faith looked up and saw that Xander was looking up behind her, and turned around to see Mike Awesome towering over them, a snarl on his face.

"You'll pay for that, bitch," Awesome growled.

"…Think we can take him," Xander asked as he stepped forward, shaking his hand loose.

"Fuck yeah," Faith grinned.

The two turned towards each other and smiled, then both lashed out, kicking Awesome in the stomach. They grabbed his head and both slammed it down into the concrete in a DDT. This time, they took no chances and grabbed some chairs, quickly as Awesome was already getting up.

"Damn, what's it gonna take to put him down," Faith wondered.

"Only one way to find out," Xander said.

ҖECWҖ

"How can you stand just standing here," Bruce demanded, feeling helpless as he watched the people he came here to support get creamed by someone larger than them.

"It ain't easy, I'll say that much," Jonathan reached underneath the ring and pulled out a length of rope, "Do me a favor and distract Fonzie while I set this up?"

"My pleasure," Bruce said with a grin, "His whistle's been bugging me all night."

Bruce quickly climbed into the ring, sneaking up behind Fonzie as he continued to blow his whistle and shake his fists in support of Awesome. The fans started to cheer even louder as they saw what was about to happen.

Bruce gently tapped Fonzie on the shoulder, causing him to whirl around. Bruce quickly caught up Fonzie's whistle and pulled it out of his mouth.

"Hey, give it back," Fonzie shouted.

"Sure," Bruce said, stretching his hand out to return the whistle. Soon as Fonzie reached for it, he lifted his hand up. As Bruce was a good six inches taller than Fonzie, he had little difficulty keeping the man from reaching the whistle; this elicited a large amount of laughs from the crowd.

"Now, isn't that something," Joey said, also laughing, "Bruce Campbell is taunting Fonzie! With his own whistle!! HAHA!!"

Finally, Bruce extended his hand again and smiled at him, saying, "For real."

Fonzie tentatively reached out for his whistle, and tried to snatch it away, but Bruce was much quicker and whipped his hand away, then pivoted and tossed the whistle into the audience, eliciting a very positive reaction from the crowd.

HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!!

Fonzie looked at him in rage and threw a punch, which caught Bruce squarely in the jaw, causing the fans to boo mercilessly. Bruce, however, merely chuckled. He took a moment to shake himself loose, then assumed a relaxed stance and slowly raised his arm up, then indicated for Fonzie to come at him.

"Come on, Overbite," Bruce said, "Let's dance!"

Fonzie stared at him in fear before sticking his chest out and throwing a punch. Bruce simply backed up, dodging it.

"Too slow," Bruce taunted.

Fonzie threw another punch.

"My grandmother hits harder than that!"

Fonzie threw another.

"Do you need to take a breather?"

Fonzie threw one more punch, and this time, Bruce moved forward and into Fonzie, avoiding the punch. He grabbed Fonzie's head and brought it down to his knee, then swiftly threw him backwards onto the mat. The fans were cheering wildly for him.

HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

Meanwhile, Jonathan had finished setting up his rope. He stood up from underneath the ring and used his hands to get an idea of how tall Awesome was, then turned to the fans.

"Chair, please," a fan tossed him a chair, and he quickly unfolded it and stood it a few feet away from the rope. He turned back around and reached underneath the ring and pooled out a two-by-four.

"Xander, Faith," he shouted out, "Over here!"

His two friends saw what he had done and nodded to him. Awesome got up from their latest attack and ran at them, but they both caught his arms and sent him as far as they could towards Jonathan. Awesome was going too fast and did not notice the rope, causing him to trip and fall…neck-first into the chair that Jono had set up.

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!

JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!!

E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

Awesome tried to get up, but Jonathan slammed his two-by-four into his head, finally rendering the big man unconscious.

Bruce, meanwhile, had cornered Fonzie in the ring, and the little man was actually cowering before him. Eventually, Fonzie managed to slip out from beneath the ropes and quickly headed for the guardrail.

"THAT'S RIGHT," Bruce shouted after him, "GO HOME AND CRY TO MAMA!!"

Suddenly, the fans started chanting:

BE-HIND YOU!! BE-HIND YOU!! BE-HIND YOU!!

Bruce quickly turned around, coming face-to-face with Sabu. Bruce backed up slightly, frightened by the man's sudden appearance. However, after collecting himself, Bruce walked right up to Sabu and got in his face.

"Come on, Rin Tin Tin," Bruce taunted, "You want some?"

Sabu just stared at him, a mixture of surprise and anger in his eyes. Bruce caught something out the corner of his eye and just barely looked down, seeing Faith and Jonathan mouth the words 'push him away' to him. Bruce nodded, ever so slightly, and pushed Sabu as hard as he could with both arms.

Before Sabu could react, however, Xander leapt off the top rope and missile dropkicked him through the ropes to the floor below!

HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

"Thanks, kid," Bruce said, shaking hands with Xander.

"My pleasure, Bruce," Xander said, and he began to walk towards the outside to continue dealing with Sabu.

Bruce turned and walked for the ropes, intending to get out the ring, only to have two thick arms wrap around him a tight vice.

"I don't give a shit who you are," Taz snarled at him, "No one interferes in my matches."

Taz prepared to give Bruce a major Tazplex, but stopped when he felt an extreme amount of pain come up in his side. He dropped Bruce and staggered away, clutching his side in pain. As he turned around, he barely had time to see Xander's face before he chopped him again, this time in the chest, sending him down to the mat.

"…Thanks, again," Bruce said, and he quickly left the ring.

Xander nodded and turned around, intending on dealing with Taz, only to walk right into a steel chair. He fell to the ground and Sabu pulled him away from the ropes and pinned him.

ONE…TWO…TH-

Xander kicked out and grabbed Sabu's neck in a vice grip, then pulled him down and headbutted him, causing him to fall backwards as he landed on the mat. Xander quickly got to his feet and, seeing a window of opportunity, he quickly dragged the still recovering Taz to the ropes behind Sabu. Xander then got onto the corner and onto the top rope.

"Faith, Jono," Xander shouted, "Set up a table on that corner, to the left of Taz!"

"You got it," Jono said, and the two immediately went underneath the ring and pulled out a table.

"What the Hell is he doing," Joey wondered.

Xander walked along the top rope, balancing himself impeccably, and waited. The second Sabu was on his feet, he leapt up into the air, landed on the ropes with his legs extended, causing him to rotate around and kick Sabu squarely in the chest, sending him backwards and into the waiting arms of Taz, who caught Sabu with the Tazmission as soon as he grabbed him.

As Taz began to choke Sabu out, Xander got out the ring and retrieved his pool stick. Taking a moment, he lifted it up to the fans and shouted, "This is my BOOMSTICK!"

BOOM-STICK!! BOOM-STICK!! BOOM-STICK!!

Xander got back in the ring and made sure the table was secure as the ref lifted Sabu's arm.

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!

"Taz has choked Sabu out," Joey shouted, "Now, it's down to Taz and Xander!"

"Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer called, "Sabu has been eliminated. The match for the FTW Championship shall continue, and there shall be a NEW FTW CHAMPION!"

Xander climbed onto the top rope again and, as soon as Taz was up, he leapt off of it and slammed his stick into Taz's head and chest, shattering it.

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

Taz was a blood mess by then, and barely there in the head. Xander quickly lifted him up and laid him against the inclined table, then ran over to the other side and climbed the top rope.

"Oh, crap," Joey said.

Xander took a moment to steady himself, then launched himself as hard as he could off the ropes, dropkicking Taz in the chest and into the table as he came down, forcing Taz through it and into the ring post!

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted.

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!

HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!

E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

Xander quickly pulled him away and pinned him.

"ONE," Faith, Bruce, and Jono shouted.

ҖECWҖ

"TWO," Giles, Angel, Cordelia, and all the patrons of Willy's shouted.

ҖECWҖ

"THREE!!" The ECW fans all shouted out.

Xander got off of Taz as he heard the fans positively explode for him. He could barely move, but thankfully didn't have to, as Faith, Jonathan, and Bruce leapt into the ring and pulled him up. Soon, Tommy, Spike, and New Jack got into the ring and Tommy and Jack lifted him up on their shoulders in celebration.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer shouted, "Your winner, and NEW FTW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…THE HARDCORE KING OF EXTREME, THE X-MAN, XANDER HARRIS!!"

Judgment Day came on as Xander was given both the FTW and ECW TV Titles. He stared at them both for a moment before raising them up for the fans to see.

HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!

E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

Xander quickly buckled the TV belt up, wrapping it around his shoulder. He stared at the FTW belt for a moment before doing the same on his other shoulder, leaving the FTW belt in front of his chest. He raised his hands in celebration.

No one noticed the FTW belt glow a golden light for only a moment before returning to normal…no one, that is, except for Francine.

"Soon," she promised herself with a smile.

ҖECWҖ

A/N: WOO!! That's it for 'Going to Extremes,' ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to start posting some of 'Extreme Measures' in the next month or so. I need a bit of a break from wrestling stories. Still, I am very pleased with how this fic series is going. Hopefully everyone enjoyed my Bruce Campbell interpretation. Again, for those of you nitpickers who might want to report me, all I gotta say is this Bruce Campbell is the same one from the upcoming My Name Is Bruce movie, which I will watch! Later, my friends.

AS