"Raven, look at me."

Raven's gaze wondered slightly to look at him for a second, before turning again towards the sea. Beast Boy wanted to cry, but he just slowly rose.

"I'll be inside, okay? If there is anything, anything, even something small and unimportant, just call. Okay?"


Beast Boy turned as the tears became too much and forced themselves out. He slowly went to the roof door, not breathing, hoping, praying she would call out his name. Say something. But she didn't, and he opened the door and sulked his way down.

"How is she?"

Starfire flew up and towards him as he entered the common room. Both Robin and Cyborg looked his way too, equally curious.


He sat down and buried his face in his hands. He was used to ruin her life, but he knew he had really done it this time.

He heard a cup be placed on the table and looked the coffee Starfire had just given him.

"Thank you."

The three other titans shared a look, before Robin spoke.

"We've called Cassie."

Beast Boy's face hardened. He hated thinking about Rachel, and the life Raven had lived without him.

"What can she do?"

"We don't know, but maybe something. Something we can't do."

Cyborg sat down next to him.

"It's been a week B. Raven's sick, she's not eating, she won't talk to anyone. If Cassie can help her we owe it to Raven to try it."

"We owe Raven nothing."

Beast Boy rose. Angry. At himself. At Cassie. At Raven, Cyborg, everyone and everything.

The doorbell rang, and everyone looked at the door. After a few seconds with no one doing anything, flew Starfire through the door, down the hall and to the door. Letting Cassie in.


Beast Boy looked at the two women talking. They had been talking the last five hours. He was standing in the doorway leading to the roof, his head resting on the frame. He hated them. He hated that he couldn't hate them.

"She looks better."

Robin came up behind him, he too looking at the two women.

"I guess."

"I think you are pretty selfish now."

Beast Boy started to yell.

"Selfish. I'm selfish? After everything she put me through, everything she has done. I'm selfish? But of course you would stick up for her. You always do."

Robin's voice was calm, but his eyes vibrated with anger.

"She's my friend Beast Boy, I would die for her. Like I would for you. And she's just lost a child, she has the right to be upset."

"And I don't? In case you hadn't noticed Robin, I lost a child too you know."

"But you didn't know her. Raven did. And keep your voice down."

He looked at the women, and first now realised Beast Boy they were looking at them. Raven had tears in her eyes, and as their eyes met she looked away. He turned his back to her.

"I'll be in my room."

Then he stampede off.


He was looking up at his ceiling and the pictures he had fastened there. All had Raven in them. There were cutouts of the newspapers. Pictures taken at events and pictures he had secretly taken of her. Including one were she was looking at the camera, after he had promised the camera didn't have film. He lied.

A small smile formed on his lips.

"Beast Boy I've told you. No pictures."

"But I want a picture of my girlfriend. Isn't that reasonable?"

"You must have enough pictures to fill every wall of your room by now."

"Not yet, but I will."

After she had…gone, the first six months. He couldn't look at them without crying. Then the crying went inwards and turned into a lump in his chest. Threatening to suffocate him.

He had always thought if she came back, then the lump would go away. He would be happy again.

But all he wanted to do was cry.

The smile vanished.

For the Raven that was sitting on the roof, wasn't the same Raven that was trying to not be photographed.

This Raven was a mother. A mother who had lost her cub.

He knew some people didn't believe animals mourn when they lose someone, but he knew it to be different. Especially when it came to mother and child. He knew Raven had every right to be sad.

He just wished she wasn't.

He just wished he didn't feel loss over this girl he barley knew.

Someone knocked on the door. He didn't move. The door opened and he could smell Robin from across the room.

"You better come."


"She's in the common room."

Beast Boy rose; hit his head, before falling back to the bed. He closed his eyes and let out a yell, before trying again. This time getting out of bed.

Quietly they walked down the hall and as he opened the door she looked up and for the first time in ages held his stare.

"Hello Beast Boy."

Her voice, it was so similar to the voice she had before they became an issue. Before the dance, and his stupid song, and her saying she loved him back.

But he could tell that if she had been allowed, she would have cried.

"I owe you an explanation."

"You think?"

He didn't care that Robin hit him in the back. That Cyborg shook his head, that Starfire gasped, and Cassie looked like she would kill him. He only cared that in Raven's eyes pure pain could be shown for a moment. It broke his heart, but not his appearance.

"I guess I deserved that."

He didn't answer.

"Okay. Logan is your daughter."

"Yeah, we've established that."

"Don't be short at me Beast Boy. I didn't know I could be pregnant until I sat in the doctor's office. To be honest I thought it not to be possible."

He softened, but tried not to. Raven took a step forward, still looking at him.

"I would have lost her, if I hadn't done what I did. And do you know what? I would have done it again."

He hated arguing with her since she never showed her emotions and just rationally debated him until his head hurt and everything he once believed was proven false. But this time he wouldn't let himself lose. He wanted answers. She continued.

"I knew you wanted children."

"I never said that."

"No. Not in those words, but I knew. And please don't insult my intelligence by denying that."

She looked down, and he could tell she was losing control.

"It killed me. Knowing you wanted something I couldn't give you. I hated it when you started to talk about our future together, because it involved things that couldn't be."

Her cup shook and she placed it down on the table. Breathing slowly with closed eyes.

"And then it happened. I got pregnant. And something changed. I changed."

She opened her eyes and looked straight at him.

"You changed me. You made me want that child more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. So I made a deal. Raven couldn't have a child, but Rachel could."

"And the DNA?"

She looked at Cyborg and smiled.

"Rachel is the person I would have been, if my mother hadn't given herself to Trigon. No powers. No titans. Just an ordinary teenage mother."

The room fell silence.

"Whom did you make the deal with?"

Raven looked at Robin, surprised by the question, and yet like she knew it would come.

"Azarath is gone, and the people there turned into phantoms. But the power they have is still lurking over the place. In them. It was a phantom who took Logan."

She looked at Beast Boy once more.

"But why didn't you say anything?"

"What could I have said? That I was leaving? I couldn't. For Logan I could say goodbye to everyone else, but not you. Even if I did leave. Goodbye has always been the hard part of going."

Raven walked over, and was now just inched from him. He could feel how his body urged him to touch her. Hold her. Love her. She looked down, as did he.

"But it's over now. She's gone. But I don't regret the time I spent with her."

Her voice drew thick. The room shook, and as he placed his arms around her she broke down and cried.

"It's not fair."

"I know Rae."

"I love her. I love her so much."

He just cradled her as he whispered kind words in her ear. The pain in their friends' eyes showed they felt with them.

"Why can't I have her?"

"I don't know."

"It's not fair."

It killed him to hear how sad she was. To hear her cry and know there was nothing he could do. He hated it when people were sad.

"Please bring her back. Please."

Suddenly the room lit up. Everyone turned and looked at the source of the light. The woman didn't shine, like Raven had done, but she was the source of all the light. She had long hair and in her arms…


Raven opened her arms and gently took the child handed to her.

"But the deal?"

"No more deal."


"No buts. She's not the daughter of Rachel and Alex. She's the daughter of Raven and Beast Boy. With what that include. Don't forget that."

The woman smiled and looked from the mother and daughter to Beast Boy. She had the greenest eyes he had ever met.


Then she left, and all the lights went out. But still in the total darkness he could sense his daughter sleeping and the woman he loved finally smiling again.