Osmone Plain, Ass-Crack of Dawn
I am wet.
It's been raining since about ten minutes before we left Golmore, and everyone is sick of it. More than that, I don't think it's set to stop until we get through the Giza Plains, since I'm like 87 percent sure that it's still the rains. I will never -- never -- stop cursing myself for selling our teleport stones. It seemed like a good idea at the time, I mean, 100 gil for one dinky little rock? Hell yeah, right?
Vaan hasn't stopped glaring at me since he found out that we didn't have any. At first, he was all upbeat because, well, Ashe wears white, but the novelty of royal breasts has long worn off, and now he's just as grumpy as the rest of us.
Balthier keeps insisting that we stop in at Jahara, claiming that the Garif "sell gorgeous weapons" but he's not fooling anyone. He just wants to steal one of their masks to use as an umbrella. I'd say something about it, but I've already promised him half of the next hunt's cut if he steals me one too.
Besides, those Garif masks are kinda cool, and I have many nefarious plans with them, which involve a sleeping Basch and me wearing one.
Or Vaan, but he sleeps too hard. Balthier has immunity from Sneaky Penelo, and at any rate, I think he's planning to scare Fran. Which I'll pay very good money to see, no lie. I mean, I like Fran, but. Well.
Anyway, we're something like four hours from Jahara, and it really depends on how annoyed Ashe is whether we stop or not. If she's really ticked off, she'll make us keep going through the rain and sludge because -- even though she gets drenched with the rest of us -- it gives her a sick sort of satisfaction every time Balthier's leather pants make that squeeaaalch sound as he walks.
I feel like Ashe would make a really good evil mastermind. I'm glad that we're on the same side.
Jahara, High Noon (not that you can tell through the clouds, though), Garif Hunter Oook-a-dook's Tent
Balthier is, as we speak, obtaining two Garif masks. I don't know if he's buying them or stealing them, and I don't care. Now, the real question: How do I carry one of those things?
(Also, I don't understand Garif names.)
Balthier is walking around with his Garif mask on. I would kill for one of those high-end Archadian cameras right now.
Vaan has offered me his firstborn child for my Garif mask. Mwhahahahaha.
Ashe thinks that we're being horribly rude outsiders and that we're mocking the Garif and their age-old traditions, but judging by their reactions, they find us amusing, going so far as to mock Balthier and I behind our backs. I'm really okay with this. I mean, yeah, the mockery of a culture older than dirt kind of stings, but I'm also dry for the first time in three days, and I've got this kick-ass tribal mask to boot. It's like Yule came early for me!
Also, Basch is plotting to steal my mask. I can see it in his eyes. He'll have to wrench it out of my cold, dead hands.
Jahara, Early Evening, It's Still Raining I Hate Life
Basch is wearing my mask. Jerk.
He'll give it back, I think. At some point. It's Basch, right? He's got this whole "nobility" and "honor" thing going. He wouldn't dare keep a poor little girl's awesome Garif mask, right?
I'm glaring at him anyway. And even though I can't see his face, I know that he's quivering in fear. I've got a horrifying glare. Only Ashe's "Stop Looking Down My Shirt" glare is scarier. Although Larsa does give a mean "Stop Playing Whack-A-Wild-Onion" glare.
The point it, I'm going to get my mask back, at whatever cost. I may even get really wild, and team up with Vaan to do so.
We got my mask back!
Granted, we also ended up with half the settlement, Ashe, Fran, and the Garif High Elder berating us for our immaturity (Balthier slept through the whole thing, and Basch was guilty by association), but who cares? It was an adventure, let me tell you. It involved rigging Basch's entire tent to rise ten feet into the air, which Vaan and I accomplished through a series of pulleys and a massive amount of rope.
And then we released the chocobos, and dropped the tent on Basch, with a note telling him to return the mask if he wanted the chocobos off of him.
Needless to say, he returned my mask. I have to share it with Vaan, but at least he didn't ask for money.
(It would have been like eighteen thousand times cooler if the chocobos hadn't been really docile, and had done more than wander around aimlessly. But I call it a win.)
Anyway, now I have to go collapse in my tent with my amazing mask, and sleep until King Raithwall himself comes out of the afterlife and wakes me up.
1. It's still raining.
2. My mask is missing.
3. I'm awake.
I hate everything.
A/N: It's been way too long. It's a ridiculously ridiculous story as to why, so I'm not going to bother. I'm back in it because I'm re-playing XII and I just thought about this story, and well... Yeah. Short chapter due to Author needing to get to bed. I took into account what a few people said about picking on Vaan too much in the previous chapter and toned it back some. I never intended him to end up as the butt-monkey, but he does it so well. Anyway, tell me what you think!