This is a fan-fiction story based on the Angel characters and universe. The main character is Lilah Morgan. I do not own Any of these characters or universe and am merely barrowing them to play with.
In the fight against good and evil those that fight are strong and brave, especially the women. Lilah is keenly aware of this, mostly because she is neither strong nor brave. She is intelligent, cunning, manipulative, and ruthless, but she has never been brave or strong. She tells herself that she doesn't need to be, she's not some champion, she wont get called to the battle field, she's a Wolfram and Hart lawyer. She's the best Wolfram and Hart lawyer, in fact and the only thing that should bother her is that she hasn't always been. Lindsey was better then her. There had been rivalry, but he was always one step head of her, more cunning, more ruthless, brave and strong to boot. The only comfort being that in the end Lindsey had jumped ship and she got his place. No rivalry when there's only one.
She had minded being second best to Lindsey but she minds being second best to Fred more. Fred is a small, stammering, child-like, creature, but she's also a champion brave and strong like all the rest of them, like Lilah isn't. It infuriates Lilah that Fred with her sickeningly sweet nature and child's fashion sense should best her, and really she wouldn't feel that way if not for Wesley. Somewhere along the line she had made the incredibly stupid mistake of falling in love with Wesley. Yet she knows to Wesley she's nothing, less then nothing. When they make love Lilah watches his eyes and knows he's somewhere else, seeing someone else, someone who is things she can never be. He sleeps with her, spends time with her, because for him it's convenient. Because at this time he can't get something better, and, she suspects, he gets a certain kind of comfort from spending time with someone who's sunk even lower then he has. She hates being the conciliation prize, if even that, but she hates the idea of not seeing him more. She tries to keep her dignity though; taunts him, keeps him at a distance, doesn't let him see that she's started to care. Wesley is a champion and in the end she knows he'll give his heart to a champion, and she can't even be as good as Fred much less touch Angel, and that's what hurts her most.
Some nights she lays awake and watches Wesley sleep, imagining that she is a champion of evil. Something so corrupted it matches Angel's strength and intensity, able to do what she can't and turn Wesley's heart away from those who shine like the sun. Yet she knows it's a lie. In this world, that she lives in, there are many champions on many different sides, but Lilah Morgan will only ever be a lawyer, and for the first time that isn't nearly good enough.