Disclaimer: I do not own Blades of Glory or any of the characters in this fic.
"I love you," Katie whispered to Jimmy as they stood by the doorway.
"I love you more," Jimmy said more loudly, with typical MacElroy corniness.
From his place on the couch at the other side of the room, Chazz nearly gagged. At first, he had been all for Katie and Jimmy dating. Lord knows that MacElroy had needed a little action. He had even helped Jimmy with some of his early problems with getting along with women. Lately, though, Katie was just always around. Chazz was getting sick of seeing her and worse, Jimmy's attention was being drawn away from the things that were really important in life -- skating and Chazz.
When Katie left, finally, Jimmy stood, looking at the door that she had just walked out of in a soppy way.
"Guess the sex was good last night, eh?" Chazz spoke up loudly, interrupting his friend's thoughts.
Jimmy frowned disapprovingly at him. Well, Chazz thought defensively, it wasn't as if Jimmy and Katie weren't having sex last night. Jimmy didn't need to act as though Chazz had suggested something disgusting.
"She's been over here a lot lately," Chazz commented when Jimmy didn't answer him. "Guess you guys are getting pretty serious, huh?"
Jimmy stuck his hands in his plain blue jean pockets. Lately, Jimmy had been wearing much less glitter and fewer bright colors. Likely, that was the Katie influence at work as well – she may be hot, but she dressed like her grandmother. "I guess so," he said.
--- -- ---
Chazz sat beside the ice rink, looking at his watch impatiently. Near him, Coach paced furiously. "Where the hell have you been?" Coach barked at Jimmy as the blond skater walked into the room. "You're an hour late for practice!"
"I am so sorry," Jimmy apologized with a sidelong glance at Chazz. "I got caught up with Katie."
Chazz rolled his eyes. Caught up with Katie. Of course. "Maybe you should reign your wiener in a bit," Chazz suggested. "You're getting to be as big a sex addict as me."
Jimmy glared at him. "Katie and I might actually have something," he said. "Not everything is about sex. We were talking."
"I don't care if you were basting a turkey!" Coach yelled. "This is the third time you've been late this month."
"Don't forget that time he didn't show up at all," Chazz pointed out, ignoring the look that Jimmy gave him. It was nice to be the one who wasn't getting yelled at, for once.
"That's right," Coach said. "If you boys expect to take any more medals, then you need to shape up, Jimmy."
"I – I will," Jimmy said. Chazz frowned. There was no way that he was letting Jimmy and little miss Frumpy Sweater ruin his skating career. As he watched Jimmy glide across the ice, his tension evident, Chazz realized what he had to do. Chazz Michael Michaels was going to break up Jimmy and Katie.
--- -- ---
"No, Jimmy can't come to the phone right now," Chazz said to Katie. Chazz had been deleting all of Katie's messages and answering the phone as often as possible so that he could tell Katie that Jimmy wasn't at home. "He's … um, he's washing his hair. With horse shampoo. No, I don't know why he does it. I think it's a little weird myself."
She continued to talk. Her voice sounded like the a little bird chirping away. "What?" he asked, once she had stopped. "Oh, dinner," he said. "Um, yeah, you can come over for dinner on Friday. I'll tell Jimmy. Uh-huh. Yes, I will. I really will. I'm writing it down right now." Chazz wasn't writing it down. "Okay. See ya." Chazz finished and Katie hung up.
"Katie wants to have dinner on Friday?" Jimmy asked from behind him. Chazz jumped, dropping the phone.
"Yeah," he admitted. He had wanted to hide the dinner plans from Jimmy, but he could work with this as well. "Here at the apartment. Hey, I can have dinner with you guys, right?"
"Sure," Jimmy said. "I just …"
"Katie said she was going to bake an Alaskan or something. It was totally weird."
"What?" Jimmy asked, distractedly.
"Chazz … I want to show you something," said Jimmy. For some reason, Chazz's heart jumped at the nervous way that Jimmy bit his lip. He took a tiny box out of his pocket and opened it.
Chazz felt a tightening sensation in his throat. "Aww, MacElroy, you shouldn't have," he managed. "You know, I'd love to marry you, but I don't think the ring is my size."
"It's for Katie, you doofus," Jimmy muttered. "What do you think? Is it a good idea?"
Chazz wanted to say no, but he couldn't think of any reason that Jimmy shouldn't marry Katie other than the fact that it just felt wrong to him. They worked well as a couple – few fights and everyone said that they were sweet together. "It's just – don't you think that you should you should play the field a little more before you get married. I mean, Katie is hot, but you've never even been with another woman, right? How can you know she's the one or whatever?"
Jimmy looked off into space. "I don't know," he said, finally.
--- -- ---
"Chazz," Jimmy said loudly over the blaring music in the club. "We need to talk."
"Now?" asked Chazz who was talking up a hot blonde named Laura … or maybe it was Linda. Chazz had trouble remembering.
"Now," Jimmy said, very firmly. Chazz rolled his eyes, wondering what he had done.
Jimmy pulled Chazz into a tight corner. "Did you hire me that hooker?" he asked, accusingly. They were so close that Chazz could smell the mint on Jimmy's breath and the flowery shampoo that he used to wash his hair.
"The prostitute!" Jimmy yelled. At that moment, the music stopped and several people looked at them. Jimmy's cheeks went bright pink.
"What prostitute?" Chazz asked, more quietly.
Jimmy pointed in the direction of a dark haired girl sitting at the bar. Cindi. Chazz had told her all about Jimmy, but she wasn't a hooker. "That's not a hooker," he said, amused. "It's just a girl. Can't you tell the difference?"
"I – look at what she's wearing!"
Chazz looked. It was a backless silver top and a skintight black mini skirt. "So she dresses like a slut. Don't be such a prude. That just means that you're about to get some." Chazz made some thrusting motions with his hips just to demonstrate.
"God, just look at how bright that shirt is."
Chazz didn't think that was exactly fair. "You wear glitter and bright colors all the time," he felt the need to point out. "Not every girl is going to dress like Katie."
Chazz knew almost immediately that it was a mistake to mention Katie. Jimmy's face changed. If he had been thinking of sleeping with Cindi, then he was no longer. "I'm practically engaged to Katie," he said, more to himself than to Chazz.
--- -- ---
"So then I just told Michelle 'hey, baby if you let me eat cheese curls off your belly then you may just have a Chazzgasm' and she was all like --"
"Chazz!" Jimmy whispered, kicking Chazz's feet. Katie, sitting beside him, looked mortified. Chazz had decided that just being as annoying as possible was a good way to embarrass Katie and get her to argue with Jimmy.
"Oh, sorry Katie," Chazz said, giving her his biggest smile. "These noodles that you made are delicious."
"That's lasagna," Katie said. "And Jimmy made it."
"Whatever," he moved on to a different subject quickly. "So, did you ever hear the expression that if you marry a guy you have to sleep with his friends?"
"What?" Katie asked, alarmed.
"Chazz!" Jimmy said loudly, turning bright red. Jimmy hadn't proposed to Katie yet – he couldn't decide how to do it -- and Chazz didn't think he had given away the surprise.
"I think that you are thinking of 'if you marry a man, you marry his friends'," Katie said in her quiet little voice, having composed herself.
"Yeah and what married couples do? They get it on."
"Um … I guess so," Katie said.
Chazz belched. "Sorry," he said, when Jimmy glared at him. "Good food and all."
They ate nearly in silence for the next few minutes, but when it was time for dessert Jimmy and Katie seemed to warm up again and started talking and laughing with one another, leaving Chazz out completely. After a moment, they began feeding the desert to one another which made Chazz want to gag. Then, they actually began to kiss softly as if they had completely forgotten Chazz's presence. It was kind of hot, but also really annoying.
Chazz mocked them with kissing faces and obscene tongue motions, but the couple ignored him entirely. On an impulse, Chazz grabbed Jimmy hand and began sucking on his wrist. "Chazz!" Jimmy shrieked, wrenching his hand away.
"What?" Chazz asked, smirking. "I was just trying to join in the fun."
"We're sorry, Chazz," Katie droned, politely. "We shouldn't have ignored you."
God, Chazz had just sucked on her boyfriend and she was apologizing to him. Chazz wasn't sure what to make of this, so he ignored her. "Hey, Jimmy," he said, brightly, "remember that time I taught you to suck face? Ever try any of that stuff on Katie?"
"Chazz!" Jimmy's face showed the utmost horror and Chazz felt a little guilty. He had promised Jimmy that he wouldn't tell anyone about that.
Katie, on the other hand, did not seem to be nearly as upset as Chazz had expected she would be. She did see how awkward the situation was, however. "Um, maybe I should go," she said, getting up.
Jimmy was glaring at Chazz just as he had before they got into the fight at the Grublets. It would probably be safer to have Katie around, but Chazz couldn't resist the opportunity to be rid of her. "Get out of here, kid," he said.
"No, stay," Jimmy said, half-heartedly. He obviously wanted to yell at Chazz. "Chazz is just being a moron. As usual."
"I, uh, think you guys need to talk," Katie mumbled quietly.
Jimmy saw her out the door and then turned on Chazz. Chazz felt strangely exhilarated by Jimmy's blazing eyes upon him, even though he knew he was about to be yelled at. "What is your problem?" Jimmy asked loudly. "I thought you liked Katie!"
"I do," Chazz said, although he was not at all sure this was true. Katie was hot, but he didn't really know her, and shy people tended to get on his nerves. "I just – she's not right for you, man. She's boring."
Jimmy looked at Chazz with ice in his eyes. "Why don't you let me decide who is right for me."
--- -- ---
Chazz hadn't wanted to resort to this, but he was desperate. There was only one way to tear Jimmy and Katie apart. The sexy, sexy appeal of Chazz Michael Michaels. Chazz lay on Katie's full sized bed, clad only in a red leather thong, waiting for the woman to come home.
If he could manage to seduce her, then he could tell Jimmy what a slut she was and they would break up. He wouldn't actually go through with sleeping with her. At least he told himself that he wouldn't – this type of thing could be chancy for a sex addict.
Chazz heard shuffling outside the door and he arranged himself on the bed with his head thrown back and his hand stroking his thick chest hair. Katie opened the door and when she laid eyes on Chazz she screamed and dropped the packages she was holding everywhere.
"Hey, Sweat Cream," Chazz said. "Thought I'd change your life with a little Chazz lovin."
Katie's face was purple and she had her hand over her eyes. "Chazz what are you doing here?"
And people said that he was dumb. He stuck a finger in his mouth, but the effect was lost since Katie wasn't looking at him. "What do you think I'm doing here?"
"I – I don't know," Katie stuttered, her hand still clutched over her eyes. "How did you get in?"
Chazz shrugged. "The fire escape."
Katie stumbled over to the other side of the apartment. "You broke my window!" she exclaimed.
Chazz shrugged again. "I didn't mean to." There was a cold draft coming through the window. "Why don't you come to bed and let me make it up to you." He slapped himself on the thigh and wiggled his eyebrows up and down.
"Chazz!" Katie said, covering her eyes again. "You have to get out! I'm not attracted to you, okay?"
"You – you're not attracted to me?" Chazz asked, in disbelief. He had expected her to be a little reluctant because of Jimmy, but how could she not be attracted to him. Every woman was attracted to Chazz. She must be lying. "Come on, you know you want to …"
"No I don't!" she yelled, Chazz was shocked at her level of anger. Usually, she was so meek. "Out!" She pointed at the door.
Chazz stumbled out of the bed, his surprise making him unsteady. He grabbed the long leather coat which had been the only thing he had worn over the Katie's apartment and put it on along with his shoes.
--- -- ---
Jimmy was waiting for him when he got back home, his face stony. "How could you?" he asked Chazz.
For once in his life, Chazz was speechless. Katie must have called Jimmy.
"I mean, I know that Katie is pretty and that you're a sex addict, but there are a million other women in the world."
"Jimmy …" Chazz said, lamely.
"I can't believe that I trusted you! And this has already happened once. I guess you just wanted Katie enough to jeopardize our friendship …"
"It's not Katie I want!" Chazz burst out, all at once. Jimmy stopped and looked at him in surprise. Chazz knew that he couldn't take back what he had just said. The two men looked at one another in silence for long moments. "Do you remember that time we kissed?" Chazz asked, gruffly after a moment. "Didn't you – you know – feel anything?"
Jimmy blushed and looked at his feet. "I – I don't know. You're being weird, Chazz. I guess it was okay. Good, even, but it was just practice. Katie …"
Katie is sooooo boring," Chazz groaned. "She's all wrong for you, man."
Jimmy shook his head. "No she's not. Chazz," he paused, "I asked her to marry me this afternoon."
Chazz froze up. "You didn't tell me you were going to do that," he managed, at last.
"I didn't think that you were going to try to have sex with her! And I didn't know … I didn't know how you felt. About me, I mean," Chazz could hear pity in his friend's voice. Chazz hated being pitied.
"It's no big deal man," he lied. "Just a weird mood I was in, I guess."
"Oh," Jimmy didn't sound like he believed it. "Chazz … maybe we should work with other partners for awhile."
"Other partners?" Chazz asked, giving a half-hearted laugh. "Afraid that I'll try to seduce your woman again, MacElroy?"
Jimmy wasn't fooled. "I just don't want to hurt you. I don't want things to get all … strange between us."
Chazz laughed again. "Too late for that," he said.
"Katie … Katie wants me to move in with her," Jimmy said.
"It just seems like a good time to go our separate ways, don't you think? To start new phases in our lives?"
"A good time for you," Chazz managed. "I guess it couldn't hurt. I'm a great skater. I can make anyone look good." Chazz knew that this wasn't strictly true. He may be a great skater, but he was also getting quite old to be skating professionally. Finding a partner wouldn't be as easy for him as for Jimmy. He didn't say this, however.
"I'll be better off without you, MacElroy," he joked, lightly. "I never thought that you would break up with me though."
"It's not a breakup," Jimmy said quickly. "We were never together. Not like that anyway."
"Yeah, I know," Chazz said.
"We'll still be friends."
"Sure," Chazz said, but he didn't believe it. Jimmy may try to maintain the friendship for a while, but eventually he would get caught up in his marriage and his career and would forget all about Chazz. He may even have some kids. Chazz realized that he was losing his best friend. His best friend who had a right to be happy. He decided that he wouldn't try to get Jimmy to change his mind.
"I – I'll miss you, though," Jimmy said, and he looked like he could have cried. Chazz was strangely glad that his friend at least felt a little sad about all this.
"I'll miss you too, man," he said. Chazz's heart was breaking. This hurt worse than any breakup Chazz had ever been through in his life.