Not many people ever realize just how great of a secret keep Edward Elric was. Sure, there were quite a few people whom knew that Edward Elric had attempted human alchemy which resulted in his automail and his brother's armor. Even less, but still plenty, knew that Al, Edward's brother, was nothing more than an empty suit of armor with a blood sear inside that tied the very essence of the younger Elric to this earthly plain. Yes, there was little doubt that Edward was an excellent secret keeper, but what only three people other than Edward knew was that Edward was keeping a secret from his younger brother that was so big that it would completely shatter Alphonse Elric's foundations and beliefs in his brother and everything that he knows and loves.
Yes, Edward Elric was an extraordinary secret keeper.
The secret that Edward kept from everyone else was a secret that he had kept since he was two years old. His mother had kept that very same secret for one year longer. They both had kept this very important secret from Al, so that he, Edward's mother, Trisha, explained, could lead and live out an ordinary life that they themselves could not. So Edward was raised learning, knowing and living the art of secret keeping.
Yes, it was a very important secret.
It was because of this secret that Edward was shaped into the person that he is. It is his reason for his short stature and his quick healing. It was his reason for his high pain tolerance and his quite extraordinary appetite. It was the reason for his hair and eyes that neither of his parents possessed. This secret was the reason for his quick reflexes, his nimble movements and his incredible strength. It was the secret behind his brilliance, his quick wit and his incredible analytical mind. It was the reason for his staggeringly explosive anger and his excessively showy ego. It was because of this secret that Edward Elric hated his father so much.
You see, while many would assume that it was because Hoenhiem Elric abandoned them, they would be partly correct. Others believed that it was because Hoenhiem never returned home when they needed him, when Trisha Elric, his wife, had needed him. This too was correct but not the reason. And others, like Alphonse, believed that it was because Hoenhiem of Light had hurt the mother of young Alphonse and Edward Elric. This too is true but not the true reason. The reason was much bigger, much more appalling and personal then that.
This very secret of what Hoenhiem had done had killed Trisha Elric and it might one day kill Edward as well. That was why Edward Elric hated his father.
Edward's earliest memory was of an activated alchemy circle, a large yellow cat that he now knew was a leopard, and a very small yellow kitten. He remembers standing in the middle of the alchemy circle with the two cats while he watched his mother in the doorway, crying and reaching for him. In this memory, Edward's earliest, was of his father turning him into a chimera.
That was Edward's deepest darkest secret. The fact that he wasn't human but rather that he was nothing more than a chimera that could speak the human tongue. That was part of the reason why he had been so interested in Shou Tucker's research and why he had been so appalled and angry about what had happened to Nina. It had reminded him of what his father had done to him, but at least his father had actually made him and his mother as true perfect chimeras.
A perfect chimera, Edward knew from his father's notes, was a chimera that could shift forms independently from their 'human' form to their 'animal' form, and were capable of human speech. Both of these things Trisha and Edward Elric were capable of, so thusly, they were perfect chimera. Edward hated it.
While growing up, Trisha had raised Edward to be a leader. A king, she said, because when he was older and had found and chosen his mate, he would become king of the chimera in appearance, but queen in actuality.
That was the other reason why Edward hated Hoenhiem so much. The man had taken away his sex, his gender. He was neither man nor woman, but rather he was both. He was cursed to a life of confusion and a lack of sense of identity. All this was because Hoenhiem merged him with two female felines.
Yes, Edward Elric had good reason to hate Hoenhiem of Light, but there was also another reason why Edward hated him He also hated his father because he was the reason that his mother, Trisha Elric, died.
Edward wasn't just a good secret keeper, but he was also an accomplished liar. One would have to be, one would think. to keep such an important secret, but that's quite untrue. One can keep such a large and important secret with distractions, avoidance, illusions, partial truths and by simply keeping your mouth shut. But the fact was, was that Edward was most definitely an accomplished liar.
After their mother had died, Edward had lied to Alphonse. He had told his brother that it had been an illness that had taken away their mother's health, something that she had contracted recently but that he and Al were immune to. Alphonse had believed his lie, never questioning its validity. Yes, Edward was very good at lying.
There was a very little known fact about chimeras that only three other than Edward knew, and two of them were dead. It was during Hoenhiem research before he had changed Trisha and Edward that he discovered that if a mated chimera mated for life. He also discovered that if a mated chimera was separated from their mate for too long, the chimera would die, and if the chimera's mate wasn't another chimera, then their mate would be fine.
Guess what happened to Trisha Elric. It had been the fact that only Hoenhiem return would save his mother that had prompted Edward to send those letters begging for his father to return to their mother. He never came back so Trisha Elric had died.
Just another reason to hate Hoenhiem of Light.
Edward had never enjoyed or even liked keeping secrets or lying, but he knew that it was necessary. He grew up understand that. He also grew up knowing that if his secret ever came out that Alphonse would never be able to live a normal life and that he, Edward, would be taken captive by the military and used as an experiment and would most likely be dissected.
You would thing that because of this knowledge that he would run as far and fast from the military as he could, but there was another little known fact about chimeras that actually forced Edward to join the military.
Chimeras, when they feel emotion, feel them so strongly that they cannot control their reactions to them. It they're happy, they're very happy. It they're angry, they're enraged. If they feel guilty, they'll do anything and everything that they can to make things right and to make up for their transgressions. And Edward felt very guilty about what he had done to Al because of his own selfish greed.
Now here was a fact that only Edward knew about chimeras. Chimeras are incapable of feeling sad, they can feel regret, loneliness and despair, but not sadness, depression, forlorn or bereaved. Yes, that was the reason why Edward hadn't cried at his mother's funeral. He only had a sense of loneliness since his mother had been his greatest companion, his pard mate. It was because of this loneliness that had driven him to his attempt of brining her back from the dead.
Edward knew the three reasons why he had failed to bring his mother back from the dead. The first reason had been because he hadn't included any household cat or tiger parts to make up for his mother's chimera side. He had tired to bring her back human, to give her, her life that Hoenhiem had stolen away. The second had been because he hadn't offered up something large enough, precious enough for his mother's soul. That had been why Alphonse had been taken, for their mother's soul while his arm had been taken for the chimera half of his mother, parts of her DNA which was needed to form his mother's human body into the shape, the form that it had originally been. That had been his biggest mistake. His third mistake had been impatience. He now knew how to bring back the dead. You first made the body then you did a spirit attachment somewhere safe inside of the body. You had to do two transmutations to bring the dead back to life.
This was a secret that Edward planned on taking to the grave with him.
Edward Elric was a great many things. He was a state alchemist, a child prodigy, a good older brother, a determined researcher, a good person, an excellent detective, a superb liar and an astonishing secret keeper. But above all else, he was a chimera, an animal masquerading as a human being.
Above all else, Edward Elric hated himself.