DFR-Birthday pressie for MoonStarDutchess, aka Chrissy-chan!! The lemon she wanted… sorta, LOL! The lyrics are translated from the Japanese song 'Vanilla' by Gackt, which I was pretty much dared to use by my friend Emz. Didn't use all of them because some were, uhhhhh, kind of embarrassing, LOL! Happy birthday, Chrissy! Hope you like!!! -Riss

Outside Of Our Selfish Love

Can I love you? In this trembling night
Do it just like that . . . do it more . . . deeper . . .
At the grind of your lips claiming mine
I am your . . . Vanilla


From the very moment of that first touch it had been a game. Anticipation. We stood there in his bedroom, almost nose-to-nose, staring at other. This game forbid further touching, but sighs and lustful glances were just another part of the fun.

Only Roy Mustang could turn sex into a competition… but that was okay with me. Because I was Riza Hawkeye, and I was going to win.

I leaned closer and mimed rubbing my cheek against his slowly, without really touching him at all. I heard his sharp intake of breath at my sudden increased proximity but he refused to act on the feelings that I knew he was having. No, he was going to wait for me to crack first… As if. I blew against his cheek softly and his eyes squeezed tight shut.

"Why don't you just give up the fight and kiss me?" I asked saucily and I knew that, at that moment, he was wondering the exact same thing.

"Why don't you just get it into your pretty little head that that isn't going to happen," he muttered back eventually and, I have to admit, the feel of his breath against my neck was kind of, just a little… fantastic.

I felt my eyebrows furrow slightly in frustration and I stepped back- just to be safe. I wasn't going to give in to him. He was going to cave first. He was going to kiss me!! I sat down on the edge of his bed with a little sigh and unpinned my hair slowly, removing all of the little clips I had tamed it with for our dinner earlier that evening and setting them atop his side-table. Kicking off my heels with a sleepy yet voluptuous moan, I reclined back on his bed, resting my head atop a series of decorative pillows that stood propped up against the headboard. I closed my eyes, but could still easily feel his eyes on me.

The tension in the air mounted and I allowed a smug little smirk to settle on my face: I was winning.

Keeping my eyes closed, I let out a tiny moan. "Kiss me, Roy… Touch me with those hands…"

I got my wish- a moment later I felt the bed beneath me strain lightly as he crawled on to join me. I opened my eyes and there he was: hovering over my body on all fours, but still not physically touching me. Gods… this was getting frustrating. In fact, it looked like there was only one thing for it. Slowly, seductively, I slipped a hand beneath my dress, making sure the move the fabric with my hand to reveal a certain expanse of leg before coming to the holster at my thigh and removing the handgun that had been stashed there.

Roy watched me in awe and I knew that I had him captivated by my every move at this point.


My name was soft and sweet on his lips.

"Yes, Roy?" I whispered in reply, reaching up to trail my cool gun down his chest slowly. It wasn't me that was touching him so that was okay. I was dancing on a fine line and I knew it, but there was nothing in our unspoken rules to say that it was wrong…

A deep groan escaped his lips, one that sent a shiver down my spine and a fire to the pit of my belly. "I'm not going to lose to you," he growled at me and, though I had no idea why, his determination only turned me on more.

"Are you sure, sir?"

"Yes,damn it, Riza!"

I frowned deeply, letting my gun clatter to the floor over the side of the bed and causing Roy to jump slightly in surprise. "Well get up then," I snapped in my very best attempt at an aggravated tone.


"You heard me," I told him firmly. "Stop hovering over me. If you won't give me what I want, I'll get it elsewhere."

Roy's lips were on mine in instant I said that and I chuckled triumphantly against his mouth. "I win," I told him haughtily as we parted for breath.

"You cheated," he huffed, to which I only laughed in reply.

"Yeah right."

"It's true!! That comment was so a violation of 'the Rules'!!" Roy exclaimed, slamming his fist down on the pillow beside my head, though still laughing good-naturedly.

"Sure, Roy. 'The Rules'," I agreed mockingly and he glared.

"I'll get you back now," he told me fiercely. "Just you wait and see!!"

His lips descended on mine again, this time rough and violent… I loved it.

Unarmed and defenceless, I writhed beneath him as his hands moved over every inch of my body as surely as though he wanted to commit every detail to memory.

"Roy…" I moaned softly as his hands played over my abdomen teasingly.

"Can't talk now- busy paying you back," he replied lightly and I clamped my mouth shut. I could wait it out… I could wait it out…

"Roy, undress me this instant!" I barked needily and he grinned wolfishly at me, looking rather triumphant all of a sudden. Damn it all, he just looked so smug…

I lifted my arms helpfully as he removed my dress and I smiled at his speechlessness when it was out of the way, then I started work on the buttons of his shirt and he placed his hands back on my almost-bare body, a little less sure of himself all of a sudden. I nodded at him reassuringly and gave him an easy smile, before drawing my hands away from his now open shirt and unclasping my bra to offer him his just deserts.

Content with the way in which Roy was touching me, I slipped his shirt off of his shoulders and tossed it aside in the same general direction as he had flung my dress and, I, my bra, a few moments before. I ran my palms over his wonderfully muscular chest and grinned up at him devilishly before reaching down to undo his belt and his trousers. His hand moved to cover mine and he paused, looking rather sombre once more. Geez, I hated when he got this way…

"Riza, we've hardly gone out yet and anyway I… I still don't think that you deserve a monst-"

"Don't even say that to me, Roy," I cut in, narrowing my eyes slightly. "Don't even say to me that I don't deserve you because I know that!"

Roy hung his head in shame and I allowed my eyes to soften at the vulnerability I saw in him. Slowly, I brought him down to lay beside me, wrapping my arms around him in a way that was hopefully bringing him comfort.

"I know that I don't deserve you," I whispered, locking eyes with him and giving him a little peck on the lips, firmly but sweetly. "Because you are ten million times better a person than I will ever be… That is why I don't deserve someone like you."

"That's not true at all, Riza," he replied, threading a hand through my hair lovingly, but with desperation in his eyes. "Not at all. You know that I'm-"

"It is true… And while we can play these games and pretend that there's nothing bad going on outside that window… it doesn't change anything," I told him, touching my nose to his gently and allowing my eyes to flutter closed. "Outside, the world is in utter chaos. I know that, and I know that you know that as well… But we humans are selfish creatures. And, selfishly, I want to love you tonight. I want to pretend that everything is okay just a little longer."

"Riza…" he sighed softly and I opened my eyes reluctantly, mentally preparing myself for rejection… "Riza, I love you."

I could feel my eyes stretch open to their very limits and my heart was suddenly beating a thousand times a minute. How was it that those three little words could turn me on more than anything we had already done- more than any of our selfish little games.

"I love you," I replied in kind, and that night, we made hot, passionate, selfish love and continued to block out the real world in favourite of our little fantasy.

Because that night, our love was all that there was. 21 years in the making, it was finally strong enough to return to us the feelings of self-worth and accomplishment that had been stolen away so long ago… In that night, after everything we had gone through together over the years, we were finally made complete once again. And I felt the sort of joy that a homunculus feels when it is given humanity, and Alphonse Elric must have felt at the return of his old body… that kind of impossible freedom…

That's what our love was.


Can I love you? In this trembling night
Do it just like that . . . do it more . . . you are . . .
At the grind of your hips against mine
You are . . . my . . . keeper


"Gracia would die if she saw me here with you," I whispered, snuggling closer into his chest as I awoke the next morning and found him already up and watching me. "She's been rooting for us both to get together since Hughes' first introduced her to us both- a little after Ishbal, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember…" he agreed thoughtfully. "You were wearing a beautiful little white sundress. It was fantastically tight around the chest…"

I whacked him playfully. "Oh shut up, Roy. You do not remember what I was wearing that day."

Roy laughed a little and shook his head. "Nah…" he agreed with a cute grin. "…The Hughes' are funny that way though, aren't they?"

"It really is rather comical," I chuckled, nodding. "Especially the way the Lieutenant Colonel always was about little Elysia-chan… He loved his family so much, didn't he?"

"Not as much as I love you," Roy replied, kissing up my neck softly.

"So, what? You're going to go around shoving my picture in everyone's face now that I'm yours?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement. "You do realise that I'd probably kill you for that, right?"

"Yeah, yeah- I know…"

Dong!! Dong!!

"…Was that the doorbell?" I asked, frowning now as I sat up.

"Yeah, I guess it was…" Roy agreed, still lying down and eyeing my breasts shamelessly from below.

"What time is it?"

"Uhm… You honestly think that I own a clock, Riza?" he asked, seeming honestly surprised. I sighed and reluctantly admitted that it was rather unlikely... I'd have to do something about that later.

Getting out of bed, and crossing my arms against my chest, as though it were any ward at all against the cold, I crossed the room to peer through the shutters- it was light outside, at the least so it wasn't entirely unthinkable that there should be someone at the door. "We've got the day off today, right?" I questioned Roy as I turned back towards the bed.

"Yeah, why?"

"Then it's probably not one of the men…" I murmured thoughtfully, before coming to a decision. "You wait and I'll go and answer it."

"Uhm, Riza… you're kinda… You do know that you're not wearing clothes right now, don't you?"

I glared at him, hands on hips. "No, Roy. I'd completely forgotten," I deadpanned. "Thanks for reminding me!"

Roy grinned at my reply and ventured under the sheets, eventually coming up with my panties and chucking them my way. I caught them one-handed and then went in search of the rest of my clothes, strewn, as they were, across the floor.

10 minutes later, I was heading downstairs to answer the door- if there was still anybody there, that was…


Left alone in his bedroom, Roy sat up and paused to think. There was definitely something special about today that he'd had to remember… What was it…? The 10th of January… 10th of January…

Giving up trying to rack his brains for the answer, Roy reached for his planner in the drawers beside his bed and flicked open to today's date, which he found without much prob…lem… Shit!!

Roy's eyes widened and he froze as he read the message that he himself had scribbled in there only the day before. Damn it all… He had just fed Riza to the wolves and there was nothing he could do about it… Sighing, he squeezed his eyes tight shut and opened them again, almost as though he was hoping that all his problems would be gone when he did.

They weren't.

Because, despite this, when he looked back down at the little blue date book, the words were still there- printed in his lazy black ink scrawl, just as he remembered it:

'Babysitting Elysia Hughes. Drop-off at 10 am sharp.'

Yeah… he was doomed…

…But Gracia would be a very happy bunny indeed.