AN: I know it's been a while, guys, but I've been mega-busy. I got my first freelance editing job (YAY!) and it's a 500pg novel. I have to finish it by Spring Break, and I can only do 6-8pg per hour. It's taking a while, as you can imagine, but today I was like, "I have to write a new chapter. I owe it to you guys!" And so I did. Sorry I'm out of it; I've had 12hrs of sleep in the last 4 days combined. I'd better shut up then and get on w/ the story before I fall asleep.
PS: Just had to put some slash in. Seamus is probably OOC, but deal. In here, he's a stereotypical gay guy. I was just thinking that normally in HG/SS, Mione usually confides in Ginny. I wanted to make it a little more interesting!! Also, Niclaire, I read your review and kinda agreed with you, so I decided to make it a little more plausible with Dumbledore!
Hermione was in her favorite thinking position, hanging upside down off of her bed. She'd been thinking that way since she was little. After about 20 minutes of intense contemplation, she came to a conclusion. She couldn't handle this alone.She was in need of an expert on the male psyche. Suddenly, she had a brain flash. Who would be better at that than a gay guy?
In a corner of the Gryffindor common room somewhat obscured by a large and rather ostentatious statue of a lion, Seamus Finnegan and his boyfriend Dean Thomas sat cuddling and making light conversation about the alarming frequency of fashion faux pas in the halls of Hogwarts these days. They both looked up, startled, when they noticed a large mass of brown hair (which they recognized as Hermione) hurtling down the stairs and heading straight for them. She stopped right in front of them, panting.
"Hey guys. I was just wondering if I could talk to you."
Seamus perked up, but Dean yawned. He had been catching himself nearly nodding off every few minutes for the las hour or so. Seamus had noticed a while ago and squeezed his boyfriend's hand.
"I'm all ears, Hermione, but Dean here needs to turn in."
What began as a goodnight peck between the boys progressed quite rapidly until Hermione cleared her throat. Dean grinned sheepishly and hurried up to his dorm. Seamus patted the seat beside him that Dean had previously occupied. Hermione plopped down and sighed, leaning her head on Seamus' shoulder. The two had become rather close friends last year when Hermione tutored him in arithmancy, and he had been her source for advice ever since.
"I am in the middle of a catastrophe!" Hermione wailed.
Naturally, Seamus was worried. Did she fail an exam? Did that idiotic Weasley boy try anything? Suddenly, a rather alarming thought popped into his head that he had to resolve right away.
"Hermione… You aren't pregnant, are you?"
Hermione shot up, looking scandalized.
"I most certainly am not! Anyway, it clearly states in chapter23 of Hogwarts, a History that there are wards preventing unwanted conception."
Seamus sighed in relief, and they both sunk back against the cushions.
"You're the first person I've told," Hermione began, "but not only am I requested… no, blackmailed by Dumbledore to participate in karaoke night, but it's going to be a duet."
Seamus was puzzled. He knew that Hermione would be nervous, but if he were in her place, he would be kind of relieved to have a partner. That way there'd be someone to rehearse with and have your back if you forgot some words or something. He told Hermione as much.
She replied, "Yes, that would be true in most cases, but I have the misfortune to have just about the foulest duet partner ever."
Seamus' mind was reeling, trying to think of who she would be referring to. Weasley? No, Seamus had heard him in the showers. Nice abs, but awful voice. Malfoy? Ewww, he used way too much hair gel, and Seamus had it on good authority that he couldn't sing according to his ex-boyfriend and still good friend Blaise Zabini. Seamus was stumped.
After a dramatic pause, Hermione took a deep breath and uttered, "Professor Snape."
Seamus' jaw dropped. He sat there staring at her for about a minute, trying to get over the shock. Once his brain started working again, he spoke.
"Hermione Jane Granger, you are one lucky bitch!"
Hermione did a double take. This was definitely not the reaction she was expected. Pity and sympathy she could understand, but jealousy?!
"Um, Seamus? Are you forgetting that we are talking about a cold-hearted, arrogant bastard?"
"Come on. He's dishy! Have you seen his eyes? They're bottomless! And his voice… It's like velvet. I only wish his robes were tighter so I could check out his ass! I've had a crush on him for about three years now. You can't tell me that in your deepest heart of hearts, you don't agree with me even a tiny bit."
"Well… Uh… But…" Hermione spluttered. "So he's a little… Well…"
"Tall, dark, 'n handsome?" Seamus cheerfully finished.
Hermione's cheeks were tinged with pink as she nodded.
"Okay, fine. He is rather good looking, but that doesn't mean that makes up for his attitude."
Seamus looked thoughtful, musing, "Have you ever thought that he acts that way for a reason? When people are hurt, they close themselves off. If you're going to have to spend a long time with him, you might want to find a way to break through that shell."
"How would I manage to do that?" Hermione asked, incredulous.
"Try to get him talking about something he's interested in, something he cares about. I remember when I started getting to know Blaise. He was really hostile and insulting. I found out about his love for classic literature, and that's what brought us together. Pity he found out that deep down he isn't really gay… But enough of my rambling. We need to celebrate your big debut! Brownies. Now. No questions. My mum just sent me a box this morning."
With that, Seamus ran to his dorm to fetch the treats. Hermione just sat there feeling numb. She couldn't believe that Seamus wasn't repulsed, let alone the fact that he was giving her tips on… Wait, what was he giving her tips on? It almost sounded like relationship advice. When Seamus returned, she opened her mouth to ask him about it, but she was momentarily thwarted by a large chunk of chewy, chocolaty homemade brownie being shoved in her mouth.
"I said no questions!"
After a few minutes of chocolaty bliss, Hermione was going to try to ask him once again. She was foiled again, however, because just when she got the first word out, a resounding crack sounded. The Headmaster himself stepped out of the fireplace and into the common room.
"Are those brownies I smell, Mister Finnegan?"
"Yes, Professor. Would you like to try one?"
Dumbledore nibble delightedly on the proffered brownie. When he had finished, he grinned and said, "Thank you, Mister Finnegan. That was most excellent. Be sure to pass my complements along to your mother. Now, Miss Granger, I'm safe to assume that Mister Finnegan is aware of our arrangements, correct?"
At Hermione's nod, he continued, saying, "I have just watched a quite enjoyable Muggle movie from across the pond, and I experienced a revelation. The song the main characters in the movie write and sing would be the perfect song for you and Professor Snape to sing for your duet! Here are two sets of lyrics. When you wave your wand over them, the music will play. Would you mind too terribly giving Severus' copy to him? Have a wonderful evening!"
Without awaiting an answer, Dumbledore flooed away, leaving one very deer-in-the-headlights Hermione Granger.