Be Very, Very, Quiet;
We're Hunting Bunnies!
By: GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert
Dean sat on his bed cleaning his gun. "So, Sam, have you found anything yet?"
Sam sat at the table typing away at his laptop. "Well, I have found a lot of reports of people being bitten by them, and some reports seem to be pretty vicious."
Dean flipped through their father's journal. "Well, I can't find anything about them in Dad's journal. Are you sure that they really exist?"
Sam shook his head. "Well, that depends on who you talk to. Some people swear that they have been attacked by them, while others claim that they are just a figment of an overactive imagination."
"Kind of like ghost sightings." Dean laughed lightly.
Sam nodded. "And we both know how real those are. So, I would say that they are real."
"What happens to a person once they have been bitten?" Dean asked.
"Well, people who have been bitten claim that their minds get flooded with wild ideas." Sam explained. "Some have even said that it affects their dreams."
"How long does that last?" Dean wanted to know.
Sam shook his head. "It is different for everyone. Some people can ignore the swirling ideas and they just go away, but other try to fight the ideas and it only gets worse with more ideas popping up."
"That doesn't sound like fun," Dean said.
"No, it doesn't," Sam conceded.
"So, does it say anything about how to get rid of these things?" Dean asked.
"Well, some people have tried to kill them," Sam began. "Unfortunately, that just causes them to reproduce."
"Reproduce?" Dean questioned. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"You know," Sam answered. "You get rid of one and three more pop up. I swear these things multiply like rabbits."
"I guess that's why they call them bunnies," Dean smirked.
"Well, you should see some of the stories that have come up about us," Sam sighed.
"US? Why us?" Dean was surprised.
"Why, yes, Dean. Us," Sam answered. "Apparently, we are a favorite topic of these bunnies. There are thousands of stories out there about us."
Dean shook his head. "Okay, like what?"
Sam rolled his eyes. "We fight demons, ghost, and vampires."
"Well, we do," Dean interrupted.
"Yeah, but in the process, we have both been seriously hurt, and in some stories, we have even been killed," Sam continued.
"Killed? Then how can they keep writing stories about us," Dean demanded.
"That's the whole thing," Sam replied. "The stories aren't relying on each other. They can kill us in one, and then we are alive in the next one."
"Too bad, real life isn't like that," Dean said. "It would make our jobs a whole lot easier. We wouldn't have to worry about getting killed on a hunt. We would just be alive on the next one."
Sam began to laugh out loud.
"What?" Dean asked.
"Some of these stories…" Sam began. "They're hilarious. In this one, you end up with egg on your face…literally."
"How the hell did that happen?" Dean spouted.
"It has to do with a 'ghost baker' we were trying to dispose of," Sam explained. "I guess he took exception to that and threw his cake ingredients at you."
Dean laid the gun on the bed. "Let me see that. I want to see what the ghost did to you. I couldn't have been the butt of the story."
Sam waved his hand at Dean. "You can read it later, but trust me. You were on the receiving end of this one. You know. There are bunnies out there that apparently don't like you all that much."
Dean splayed his hands across his chest. "Me? But I'm adorable. Everyone loves me."
Sam shook his head. "I don't think so. There are those out there that think you're nothing more than a mean egomaniac who bullies me all the time. They also don't like the names that you call me all the time."
"But I don't mean anything by them," Dean continued his protest. "I'm just teasing you. It's my way of showing that I care."
"I know," Sam assured his brother. "But I'm not writing the story."
"Whatever," Dean groused. "What else have you found?"
Sam continued skimming over certain stories. "Here's one that you would probably like. We are hunting another ghost, but she thinks that I'm one of her dead husbands. So, she comes after me."
Dean laughed out loud. "Figures, a ghost would be the only woman that you could get."
"Hey, you're no winner when it comes to women in these stories." Sam shook his head. "The women you've been involved with have turned out to be ghosts, vampires, and even a shape shifter. Each time, my life has been put on the line. Thank you so much. I appreciate your concern for me."
Dean shook his head. "Hey, I didn't write them. Take it up with the authors, or better yet, find out how we can nail these bunnies."
"I'm working on it. I'm working on it." Sam clicked away at with his mouse.
Dean laughed. "Well, work faster."
"Eww…" Sam curled up his nose. "I don't think I like this one."
"What? What is it?" Dean practically yelled.
"They have Bobby spanking us," Sam responded.
"Like when he was watching us when we were kids?" Dean asked.
Sam shook his head. "No, like now…when we are adults."
"I don't understand." Dean was still confused.
Sam gave Dean a disbelieving look. "I didn't think that I had to spell it out for you."
The light suddenly dawned on Dean. "That's just plain gross."
"That's not even the worst," Sam remarked.
Dean shook his head. "I can't believe that there is stuff that's worse."
"They have US sleeping together," Sam replied. "There's even a name for it…Wincest."
Dean moved to behind Sam, looking over his shoulder. "Really??? Are they any good?"
"Dean," Sam snorted in disgust.
Dean shrugged slightly. "I was just curious. Don't bite my head off."
"So, are you saying that you want to sleep with me?" Sam wanted to know.
Dean moved back to the bed. "Well, not anymore, but when we were teenagers, I was curious, and it wasn't just you. I was curious about it with other good looking guys, too."
Sam smirked at Dean. "So, are you saying that I'm good looking?"
Dean smiled back. "Of course you are, in a feminine sort of way, with your long, wavy hair, and your big doe eyes."
"I don't have long hair," Sam protested. "It's barely touching my collar."
"It's longer than mine," Dean laughed.
Sam turned back to the computer and muttered under his breath. "Just because I don't have a military haircut…"
Dean shook his head. "Well, it doesn't matter now. I'm not curious anymore. I'm totally into chicks now. Blondes, brunettes, tall, short, it doesn't matter, as long as they're FINE."
Sam rolled his eyes. "All right, all right, get your mind out of the gutter." Suddenly, his eyes widened at the story that he was reading. "NO, oh no, no way man…"
"Another love sick ghost?" Dean smirked.
Sam paled slightly. "No, in this one, they have me PREGNANT!!!!!"
Dean laughed loud and long. "See, I told you that you were too feminine for your own good." He continued laughing as Sam moved through the story list.
Sam found what he was looking for and smiled. "I wouldn't laugh too hard there, Dean. Here's a story that has YOU being pregnant."
The smile on Dean's face fell and he cocked the shotgun. "That's it. I'm gonna kill these things."
Sam's smile also faded, and he shook his head. "This one just died."
"What do you mean that it died? How?" Dean asked.
Sam shrugged. "Apparently, once the story gets written, the plot bunny dies."
"And there's not another one in the city?" Dean continued his questioning.
Sam hit a few more keys. "Not here in Toledo, but there's a woman who's being attacked in New Hampshire."
Dean put the safety on his gun and grabbed his bag. "Let's get going. It's rabbit season."
Author's note - This was just a bit of fluff that we came up with one day when we were being attacked by four different plot bunnies. We hope that you enjoyed it.