How to Piss Off a Sabaku…

"Hey, Gaara, how come you don't have a girlfriend?"

Gaara almost choked on the water he was drinking and stared at the blonde sitting opposite to him.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah. I mean, Neji has his girlfriend and Sasuke has… well, me… Haven't you got one?"

Gaara snorted.

"Why should I need one?"

"Well…" Naruto looked at him as if he was stupid. "Don't you ever get lonely?"

"No."

Gaara went back to drinking his water.

They were at a small diner not to far from the hotel.

Sasuke, Neji and Gaara had been doing some brainstorming for some new songs the entire morning, while Naruto had been left alone to amuse himself in his room. At noon the blonde had come in and demanded some attention in his own way, by starting to ask questions about basically everything he could think of. Sasuke's patients had been admirable, but when Neji's hands began clenching and unclenching and a vein began throbbing at Sasuke's temple, Gaara decided that it was time to leave.

They were just doing lyrics by now anyway, and Gaara hated lyrics.

So in order to save the blonde from a sure and painful death, he took him out for lunch, which was the reason to why they were where they were at this moment, and obviously the blonde hadn't run out of questions yet….

"But… You must get lonely sometimes."

"No."

"So you don't want a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Okay, so why don't you want one then?"

"I'm not interested."

Naruto looked at him again.

"You're lying so bad it hurts."

"I'm not lying. I'm just not interested."

"You know, it's funny that the guys who have the girls throwing themselves at them, always claim to be 'not interested'."

Gaara shot him a half hearted glare.

"There are no girls throwing themselves anywhere. And if they do, it's at Neji and Sasuke:"

It wasn't much, but for about half a syllable, Naruto was absolutely certain that he had heard a tone of bitterness in the other boy's voice.

"That's not true." He said defensively. "You are just as fan-covered as they are."

Gaara snorted again.

"Right."

"I'm serious! At the concert I saw banners with your name on them everywhere! And that tattoo of yours too."

Gaara looked up from the glass of water in his hands.

"Really?"

Naruto grinned and made a cross movement over his heart with his right index finger.

"Promise."

Gaara's lips moved up in a quick smile, but then his eyes went back to the water again.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not interested anyway."

Naruto sighed and leaned back into his chair.

"You really are hopeless." He stated. Then he shone up again.

"I know! I'll help you find a girlfriend!"

"No you will not."

"Yes I will!" Naruto insisted. "You'll see, I'll help you find the perfect girl!"

Gaara's glare intensified.

"No. You will. Not."

"How about that girl?" He pointed at a waitress who came walking down between the tables.

Gaara quickly reached over and jerked his hand down.

"Stop that!" he hissed.

"No, I'm serious, she's pretty hot. And she's got curly hair, that means she's smart too."

Gaara scowled.

"Curly hair is supposed to make her smarter?"

"Yeah… I read it in a magazine once…"

"You've got some serious problems…" He let go of the hand and leaned back into his chair. Naruto smirked at him.

"As I see it, you're the one with a problem." Gaara raised a brow.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Still smirking, Naruto leaned over the table, rested his elbows on the surface and his chin in his hands and looked the redhead in the eyes.

"You're shy."

Gaara stared at him and Naruto triumphantly saw a blush creep its way over the pale cheeks before Gaara turned away.

"That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard!"

"Oh really?" Naruto asked.

"Yes. Really."

The smirk turned into a grin, and Gaara felt a very uncomfortable stirring in his stomach.

"Well, then I guess you wouldn't have any problem asking that girl out?"

"No I wouldn't. If I was interested."

Naruto's grin grew wider.

Yes, Gaara had a very bad feeling about this.

"Prove it."

"What?"

He didn't heat that right, did he?

"Prove it. Call her over."

"No."

"Why not? You said you'd have no problem with it."

"That's just stupid. I'm not even interested in her."

"I'm not telling you to marry her. Just ask her out. Or…" He sniggered at Gaara.

"Maybe you're too scared?"

Gaara's eye twitched.

"I'm not scared."

Naruto leaned back with a new snigger.

"Then do it."

Gaara folded his arms over his chest and turned away.

"Forget it. If it's so easy, why don't you do it?"

"Fine, I will."

Gaara's eyes shot up.

What?!

"Naruto…!"

But it was too late, Naruto had already raised his hand and was waving at the waitress.

"Excuse me, Miss!"

"Naruto I didn't mean…"

Gaara cut himself of when the girl walked up to them. Her eyes landed on Gaara and her lips widened in a smile.

"Can I help you, sir?"

The question was directed towards Naruto, but her eyes didn't leave Gaara for a second.

Naruto smiled and leaned back in his chair.

"Yeah, my friend here would like to ask you something."

Gaara stiffened and the girl blushed faintly.

"Oh?"

She turned towards the - by now close to panicked - redhead and smiled shyly.

Gaara's heart was feeling as if it was going to jump right out of his chest. Damn it, Naruto!

"Eh… I…"

If only she could stop looking at him! How was he supposed to concentrate on what he was saying when she was staring at him!?

"I wondered…"

He could feel the amusement that radiated from the boy across the table and the thought of having two people observing him didn't exactly help him keep his cool.

He realized that he was grappling the glass of water way to tight and hurriedly placed it on the table with a betraying slam.

"Do… do you…"

His throat felt as if it was filled with desert sand and suddenly it felt as if gathering enough moist in his mouth to be able to swallow was the hardest task he had ever been presented with.

He took a deep breath and looked at her.

"Do you…"

He met her gaze. She had dark, warm, chocolate brown eyes and she was standing next to him, patiently waiting for what he was about to say. Gaara felt how his resolve got blown away.

"… have some ice?" he ended lamely "OW!"

He rubbed his leg where Naruto had kicked him.

"Of course we do. Just one minute."

She walked of with a secretive little smile towards Naruto. Once she was out of ear range, Naruto leaned over the table and hissed.

"What are you doing?! What kind of a stupid question was that?!"

"What are you doing?!" Gaara hissed back. "Why did you kick me?!"

"Because you're being a wimp!"

"I'm not being a…!"

"Ssch, she's coming back."

The girl came back with a small glass of ice and a paper napkin. She placed the napkin under the glass, putting it on the table and then she winked at Gaara, who turned red as a tomato, and walked away with a flirtatious sway with her hips.

"Woo, seems like you pulled it of anyway." Naruto grinned and snatched the napkin from underneath the glass.

"Huh?" Gaara got pulled back to reality and looked at him.

Naruto held up the napkin in front of him, displaying a cell phone number that had been scribbled down in one corner with a heart drawn around it.

If possible, Gaara's face turned five shades of red darker and he almost tore the napkin out of Naruto's hand.

"You're gonna call her?" the blonde asked curiously.

"None of your business."

"You are." Naruto grinned.

"Shut up."

Gaara stood up from his seat and demonstratively pulled his jacket on.

"Where're you going?"

"Home."

He started walking towards the door.

"Hey! Gaara, wait for me!"

He didn't.

He could feel the eyes of the other people in the diner on him when he opened the door to walk out. The embarrassment was almost suffocating him and he felt as if he didn't get out of that place soon enough, someone would get hurt.

Right now, the title of "someone" was overhanging close to be inflicted on a certain blonde, loudmouthed person, who had way to much time on his hands then for his own good.

He stomped out through the door and out on the street, heading for the hotel.

"Gaara! Wait!"

He heard the door open and close behind him and running steps coming closer and he clenched his fists in his pockets.

Naruto caught up with him, panting.

"Why didn't you wait?" he huffed.

"Why don't you listen?" Gaara answered coldly.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I told you I wasn't interested." He glared at the blonde who gave him a dumbfounded look.

"Then why did you ask her?"

Gaara froze in the middle of a step.

"What?"

"If you didn't want to, why did you ask her?"

Gaara stared at him.

He couldn't believe he was hearing this.

"Because you forced me to!"

Neither could Naruto it seemed, since he stared back at him, confusion drawn all across his face.

"I didn't force you to anything."

"You called her over!"

"You told me to!"

"No, I didn't!

"But you wanted me to."

"No!"

Naruto's lips curled up in a smirk.

"Then why did your face turn red as a stop sign when she winked at you?"

Suddenly Naruto found himself pulled forward by the jacket and staring into a pair of raging aqua green eyes.

"If you tell... anyone about that… If you as much as breathe a word…."

Naruto gulped and quickly drew a cross over his chest with his index finger.

"Promise" he whispered weakly and Gaara let go with a snort and began walking again.

Naruto frowned and rubbed his chest where Gaara's knuckles had pushed in, then his face split in smile when he noticed the corner of a paper napkin sticking up from the pocket in Gaara's jacket.

Smiling victoriously, he started walking after the fuming teen and when they turned around the corner to the hotel he started whistling happily to himself.

Owari!


Please review!!! Onegaishimasu!