Rating: M (sexual situations)
Pairing: Iruka x Kakashi (Don't like, don't read. You've been warned)
Distribution: Please do not archive or repost w/o permission
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, don't make any $ writing about Naruto. T.T
Summary: Iruka decides that the only way Naruto will learn to stop pulling pranks is to teach by example. Kakashi is ordered to stop him, but finds himself irretrievably drawn to the troublesome chunin.
A/Ns: AUish, takes place before Naruto graduates. No relation to "A Fine Line Between." I'm no Naruto experct; please leave comments and constructive criticism! Thanks!!
This chapter is pretty tame, but there is some voyeurism.
[edit thanks to Apythii for catching the Kakashi/Hatake faux-pas.
"Iruka, you're really starting to piss people off."
The teacher stopped in mid-brushstroke and looked up at his pursuer. "I don't care!"
Kakashi stared down at the man, huffing. Iruka was seated in the same contraption Naruto used when he so disrespectfully painted the Hokage's faces. Now here was Iruka, doing the same thing.
"Stop this childishness, sensei. Why are you doing this? Are you trying to prove a point or something?"
"Yes!" Iruka bellowed, pointing at him with his paintbrush. "To Naruto!"
"You're trying to prove a point to Naruto?" Kakashi blinked in disbelief. "Don't you think, considering how bull-headed that kid is… it's a little pointless?"
Iruka's face turned red.
Kakashi didn't know the teacher, had never spoken to him before that day. But he knew danger when he saw it. Uh-oh.
Kakashi braced himself as Iruka reached into his flak vest. He whipped out a small round object and threw it directly at Kakashi with impossible speed. A giant smoke cloud erupted on the side of the Yondaime's rock face, giving onlookers below the impression that steam was coming out of his ears. Iruka, who had been hanging from the Yondaime's nose, pulled a cord on the sling and zipped down the mountainside as Kakashi coughed and waved the smoke out of his face.
When he could finally see, Iruka was gone, the sling and a lone paint can the only evidence that he was there in the first place. That, and the obscenities he had written across the mountain faces.
"Hip and Modern Rival!"
Kakashi groaned, running a hand down his soot-covered face, leaving four vertical streaks. "Not now, Gai… I just want to go home and shower."
He had been close to getting the chunin this time… Only to have been tricked by Iruka's sneaky replacement jutsu involving a teddy bear and an exploding tag.
Gai bounded up to him, stopping short and examining his Enemy. "Oh my! He has Indeed Gotten the Best of you, Far Worse than he has of the Beautiful Beast! Are you Injured?"
Kakashi looked up and laughed out loud. Iruka had swapped Gai's green suit for a bright pink one.
"It is Good that you can Laugh, my Rival," Gai said, posing. "Iruka-Sensei's Enthusiastic Pranks are an Excellent Show of his Stealth and the Energy of his Youth! But…"
"He must be stopped, right?"
Gai nodded. "And you have been given the Noble and Righteous Honor of seeing to it by our Honorable Hokage! Say the Word, my Friend, and I Shall Aid you! If I do not, I will dye my hair Pink to match the New Suit Iruka-Sensei has given me!"
Kakashi sighed. "Go home, Gai."
Iruka's pranks did not stop there.
He stole lesson plans from the other teachers and replaced them with dance instructions. While it made Hyuuga Hinata extremely happy to have Uzumaki Naruto for a dance partner, it infuriated the staff to no end.
The jonin teachers were no exception.
Iruka replaced Kurenai's shampoo with temporary orange hair color, and Anko's with red.
He stole Genma's senbon, and every evening, he crept into the mission room to leave a replacement on his desk for the following morning. The first day, he left a large lollipop; the second day, he left a rubber newspaper chew toy; and on it went.
Worst of all, he had glued a red, heart-shaped patch right over Kakashi's covered eye. Directly onto his hitai-ite. And Kakashi had no way to get it off.
And that was the problem. Kakashi had been assigned by the Hokage to stop Iruka's rampage—which he was apparently doing for the fox boy's sake—but he couldn't seem to outwit the talented chunin.
Civilians and ninjas passed by him on the street, staring at his red eye-patch and snickering. Even that solemn Uchiha kid had cracked a grin at the sight. One little boy laughed outright at him. Kakashi frowned and whapped him lightly with an Icha Icha. The boy looked hurt and scampered off.
Worse than everyone laughing at him, the eye-patch meant that the teacher had been in his apartment, had been in his bedroom, rummaging through his clothes while he was asleep. He tried not to think about the possibility that the teacher had seen his unmasked face.
But… would that have been so bad? He had a momentary daydream of the teacher stopping over his sleeping body, looking down at him tenderly.
His fantasy was interrupted by Naruto, who exclaimed, "Oh man, Iruka-sensei got that guy good! Iruka-sensei is the best!"
Oh yes, it was personal now.
He stopped in the street, his uncovered eye angry next to its pretty red companion, and kicked hard at a stray pebble. He lost sight of it as it soared through the air.
The teacher had taken a vacation, so he wasn't going to the Academy for classes or to the mission room to hand out assignments. It was impossible to guess his next move. What could he do to make Iruka yield?
He paused, staring at the Hokage monument. A red voice bubble written next to the Ichidaime's mouth proclaimed, Motherfuckers.
I understand that the Sandaime wants Iruka to be the one to clean it up, he thought, amused despite himself, but that really is inappropriate; someone should take care of it right away. He then remembered smacking the kid with Icha Icha. Who am I to judge decency, anyway?
It was then that the answer came to him (Icha Icha has the answer for everything, don't you know?). All he had to do was hit the teacher where it hurt.
He grinned wolfishly under his mask, excitement swelling above his confused emotions. Konoha was about to gain yet another prankster.
Iruka, back from a successful day of pranking, leaned against the front door of his apartment, letting his sore muscles rest against the cool, smooth wood. He had been hanging upside down for an hour from a tree-branch outside Asuma's window, camera in hand, waiting to catch the ninja in a compromising position. After Kurenai arrived, it didn't take long.
Tilting his head, eyes wide, Iruka could scarcely believe what was happening. It seemed that he had done Kurenai an incredible favor by dying her hair orange.
In any case, his peeping session hadn't lasted long. He wasn't sure if it was his enormous nosebleed or the flash from the camera, but the two ninjas realized that they were being spied upon, and promptly started hurling sharp objects—and one smoking cigarette butt.
Iruka grinned. It had been worth it. He glanced down at the steamy polaroid, not certain if Kurenai's new orange hair had given her the power to get Asuma dressed in women's lingerie or if that was something he did on a regular basis, but sure it would come in handy later—perhaps to force one of them into substitute teaching for him.
Assuming that the indomitable jonin didn't catch him first.
He really was surprised—and flattered, too—that the Sandaime had asked the Copy-Cat Ninja to arrest him. Apparently his pranks were attracting more attention than he thought. He wondered briefly how long he could keep it up with such an illustrious ninja sent after him.
Tired, he slunk into his living room, enjoying the cool darkness, and collapsed on the couch. Something crunched underneath him as he did so.
What the hell? He thought. He reached up and turned on a lamp.
And recoiled in horror.
His neatly arranged stacks of schoolwork, exams, and student drawings had been scattered all over his floor and furniture, leaving only a single clear pathway from his door to his couch. His mind spun as he saw that the checked work had been mixed with the unchecked work. It would take hours to straighten it all out. Worse yet, the bulk of it was piled against his bedroom door. If he wanted to sleep there or change his clothes tonight, he would have to clean it first.
A clattering sound in the kitchen got his attention. He stood up, straightened the crumpled essay he had been sitting on, and walked as close to the kitchen as he could without marring the papers further.
His table and chairs were gone. A spoon lay on the floor.
Instinctively, he looked up.
His kitchen furniture had been glued upside down to the ceiling, complete with two simple dinner settings, napkins, and glasses. It was one of the spoons that had come loose.
"No…" He groaned.
"There's more where that came from, if you don't stop your pranks," a low, amused voice called from behind him.
Iruka turned. Kakashi leaned in through the now-open window.
"You did this?"
"Yes, it was quite fun," The jonin grinned, his eye curling up. He looked especially happy with the cheerful eye-patch. "I can see why you're doing this."
"You don't know anything about me!" Iruka snapped, starting forward. Anger brewed inside him like napalm, threatening to explode.
To his surprise, the jonin entered instead of slipping away, and came to sit on the back of the couch with his feet on the cushions. "Enlighten me, then."
Kakashi could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth. He had intended to come here and demand that the teacher cooperate (ie, return the teachers' lesson plans, Genma's senbon, Kurenai's shampoo; provide the solvent for the stupid eye-patch; and stop terrorizing the village in general), but found himself so distracted by the liquid, dark eyes of the teacher, illuminated only by the moonlight flooding the room from behind them, that he wanted to know more about him. He wanted to know why, why exactly.
Iruka stopped. "I… I just want Naruto to see that this way is not the best way... It's not a good way to get attention."
"Not a good way to get attention?"
He's so handsome when he's not throwing bombs at me, Kakashi thought. Indeed, Iruka's lithe form stood still and statuesque, his dark lashes resting against his shapely cheeks. A few steps took him down his little path to Iruka. He said huskily, "You've got my attention…"
"That? I only did that because you tried to stop me."
Kakashi blinked. Oh. The eye-patch. The teacher had missed the hint entirely.
Iruka sighed. "I just wanted to put you in your place."
"It only got me into your place," he purred, congratulating himself on his even-better, Icha Icha worthy pick-up line.
Iruka's eyes flashed open.
Now he's starting to get it.
"Kakashi-san, somehow, I don't think that…"
At that moment, Kakashi noticed that Iruka was clutching a Polaroid. Wondering what new havoc the teacher had created, the older ninja took it from him. "What's this, now?"
Kakashi examined it.
Kurenai and Asuma were entwined together, Kurenai snapping one of her lover's thigh-high stockings.
A dirty picture. That this straight-laced teacher took. Kakashi looked up at Iruka, who stood there, blushing. His cheeks and his nose (except for his scar, of course, which remained a slash of white across his nose) were pink. He had been caught red-handed and looked so utterly embarrassed. And so sexy.
In Kakashi's perverse Icha Icha-addled brain, this picture—and Iruka's charming blush—was a momentous omen, a divine go-ahead to pursue the attractive chunin. Or at least he chose to see it that way.
"My, my, Iruka-sensei. Seems your pranks have taken quite a turn…"
"It's not what it looks like!"
"Are you sure? I think it's exactly what it looks like."
Iruka let out a gasp as Kakashi gripped his arms, spun him around, and sat him down on the couch. The older ninja leaned over him, his face only inches away.
"What kind of attention are you trying to get for yourself?"
Iruka was stunned. The legendary Sharingan Kakashi… who read Icha Icha in public… who had never before noticed him… was brazenly, beyond a doubt, no-question-about-it, flirting with him.
And Iruka found himself intrigued.
Instead of acting on impulse, he said, "I told you, it's for Naruto! So he doesn't repeat my mistakes. I want him to see how badly Konoha will punish me after all this." Sometimes he hated how logical his mind was…
Kakashi stood still for a moment, examining Iruka, trying to read his expression. "You would sacrifice your reputation for him?"
"What's a reputation?" Iruka whispered. "It means nothing. Being a good person, treating others right, that's the important thing."
His heart was so big. He was so beautiful. Kakashi wanted to stop teasing him. He wanted to touch him. He wanted to do the right thing.
"You threw a smoke bomb in my face, made me hug an exploding tag, and messed with my hitai-ite. I asked you once already, but I ask you again, as a friend…" Kakashi knelt down, looking up at Iruka. He had started out with a light tone, but his voice had grown thick.
A warm breeze blew in at them from the cracked window, rustling the strewn papers.
"Please stop these pranks. Clean up after yourself, and be done. Before you really anger someone. Naruto will understand."
Iruka remembered the night when he glued the eye-patch to Kakashi's hitai-ite. He watched the sleeping jonin, and wondered what sort of person he was. He had such an unusual appearance, with his pale skin and shock of silver hair, that Iruka thought he must have a singular personality to match it…
"It's too easy," Iruka smiled, looking down at him.
"Too easy?" Kakashi looked around the apartment. "Call Naruto over here and have him help you clean this mess up. I guarantee you it won't be easy."
Iruka paused, a hand over his face. His fingers rested tantalizingly on his lips. Kakashi stared at him, mesmerized.
"That… that isn't a bad idea, Kakashi-san," he finally said. "I could make him clean the monument, too… He could do all the dirty work."
"Because someone has to clean up the messes of an irresponsible shinobi," Kakashi agreed quickly, moving to sit close to him on the couch.
Iruka smiled at him. "Good lesson."
"Then you'll stop pranking?"
Kakashi let his eyelid drop and his silver eyebrow arch, giving Iruka what he hoped was a smoldering look. "Then, before I go, I have to ask you… When you glued this monstrosity to my hitai-ite—" Iruka chuckled, "—it was right next to my bed. I must have been asleep at the time. Did you look?"
Iruka could feel the heat radiating off of the jonin's body. He decided to be bold. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, Kakashi-san. There was a lot of exposed skin."
Kakashi felt a pleasing wave of adrenaline come over him. He slept only in a pair of boxers; more often than not, in even less. "I was referring to my face. But if you were looking anywhere else, I'd like to know about that, too."
Kakashi reached for his hand and met no resistance. He removed Iruka's glove, watching the teacher the whole time, and rubbed his bare thumb over the back of his hand in lazy circles. It was suddenly very hard for Iruka to form real words.
"I… I wanted to see your face," Iruka admitted. "But you had it buried in a pillow. Almost everything else was exposed, but your face…"
He remembered. The thin sheet barely protected Kakashi's modesty as one long, smooth leg shifted at a thin, well-formed hip. The moon painted highlights on the ribs and muscles of a sinewy torso, nicked with numerous scars, but appealing nonetheless.
Kakashi's grip tightened on his hand. Instinctively, suddenly overcome by his memory of the sleeping jonin, Iruka reached out. Without permission, he yanked down Kakashi's mask, and kissed the other ninja hotly.
His lips tingled as the teacher kissed him, and buzzed wildly when Iruka gently licked his tongue over them. Kakashi had never been kissed like this.
"I'm sorry for the smoke bomb," Iruka whispered against his lips. Kakashi let out a pant, his brain reeling.
"I'm sorry for the exploding tag." His lips still hovered, moving against his. Kakashi could barely suppress a moan at the sweet sensation.
"You're doing an excellent job apologizing," he said, letting go of Iruka's hand to wrap one arm around his waist and to plant the other on the back of the ninja's head.
"I'm not at all sorry for the eye-patch," Iruka managed before Kakashi forced their lips together again.
Because who doesn't love a mischievous Iruka? Hehehe. The more I write this pair, the more I like them. They're so sweet.
Anyone upset that I put Asuma in lingerie? -cringes & ducks- LOL. And man, Gai was harder to write than I thought… But fun. :)
This is a good place to end the story if you're not up for lemons; obviously things heat up in the next chapter. It will be a first lemon attempt, so brace yourselves, dear readers. It's all written, but I'm feeling especially picky and am revising.
Thanks for reading!