Because I need a break from the drama necessary for the FLB sequel, I decided to write a Pranksters omake. If you guys like it, I may be persuaded to write more…





The apartments were quiet. Tired from the day's work—or in some cases, absent for work only suitable at night—the ninja residents settled down for the evening. Save for two, whose voices drifted down the empty stairwell in strained whispers that, if heard, would surely have produced several nosebleeds...

"Uh! Kakashi!"


"Haven't you ever done this before?"

"Well, of course I have… Some would say quite expertly…"

"Yeah, well, I'm not impressed so far."

"Don't worry sensei, it will fit. I just have to… push a little more."

"Why do I not like the sound of that…?" A gasp.

"Well, we could just stop now… Quit while we're ahead…"

"Don't be that way." A grunt. "Come on then, push harder."

A chuckle. "Anything you say, Iruka… I love taking orders from you."


"Is it so hard to believe that I've never dated a hot teacher before and plan to take full advantage of it? Next time, I expect you to get out the ruler…" Kakashi practically drooled through his mask. "Arg! Ouch!"

"You deserved it. You're sick."

"Well, yes." Kakashi's nonplussed voice returned. "I do read porn in public. Don't pretend that you didn't know."

Iruka puffed and adjusted his weight. Two could play the pervert game. "Well, it so happens that you're in luck, then, Kakashi…"

"Oh?" His partner grunted.

"Yes. I happen to have a desk in my bedroom. And on it, a ruler."

Iruka didn't have to look at Kakashi to know that the perverted jounin was grinning like crazy. "Oh, sensei…"

"And in my closet, a leash."

"I promise to work hard for my A's!" Kakashi purred.

"Work hard now and I'll think about it," Iruka promised.

"Mmm," was the thoughtful reply.

A moment later, Iruka cried out. "Oh!"


"Yes. Yes! You've got it…"

"Finally… You're so hard to please, Iruka-sensei…"

"Ah! There! Harder…!"

"Mmmm… Of course…"

"Yes! Yes! Oh!"


The two cried out triumphantly in unison as they were finally able to maneuver Iruka's cloth-covered couch out of the stairwell. They smiled idiotically at each other as they dropped the couch on the curb outside.

Kakashi looped a careless arm around Iruka's shoulders and used his support to lean over and rub his crushed foot. "We have some nice memories with this couch… Too bad you couldn't keep it."

"Kakashi, it was just one time—how many memories can you really have?" Iruka replied matter-of-factly. "Plus, it's covered with more DNA than I care to name. If sex with you is always like that, we're going to destroy your stuff next time. I refuse to throw out another piece of furniture."

"Well… After your desk, you mean."

Iruka groaned, but secretly he couldn't think of a single thing he'd rather do than trash furniture with the jounin.





Well, what did you think they were doing? ;) Make my Valentine's day (almost) as good as Iruka & Kakashi's… Review, please!