Not So Lonely Island - Part I
Rated M for a reason - fair warning that there will be lemons.
I don't own any of the Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu characters…
Hi, my name is Kyon and I have an ear fetish.
At least, that's how it would go if anyone found out. Thankfully only Haruhi knows and considering the circumstances… I really don't think she'll be saying anything.
I guess I should back up a little.
If I had to blame anyone, I'd blame that damn Koizumi – he's the one that got us out on that deserted island. But, if nothing else it was a trip of firsts. And, surprisingly trying alcohol wasn't even the most monumental. Though you could probably call it a catalyst of sorts.
As far as I know, the after-dinner wine experiment was all of our first time with drinking, though it was immediately obvious that some of us were more suited to it than others. Koizumi and Nagato might as well have been experts, though there isn't anywhere I know of that serves alcohol to minors for them to gain such experience.
The first night passed without any major incidents. Perhaps that's why I let my guard down the second night. You could call that mistake #1.
Koizumi had long since departed for his room with a vaguely suspicious excuse; Nagato had taken her book upstairs, looking for all the world as though she'd had only a sip of wine… and not most of a bottle. Asahina-san had somewhat dizzily volunteered to check on my sister nearly an hour ago. Apparently she had decided sleep sounded good to her too since we hadn't seen her since.
Quite honestly sleep sounded pretty good to me too, but I was wary about leaving Haruhi alone. Especially a drunken Haruhi. She plopped her empty glass down loudly on the table and swung an annoyed gaze in my direction.
"We've been here two days already and nothing even slightly mysterious has happened!"
She jumped up – to her credit she swayed only slightly before regaining her balance – "C'mon Kyon, we have a duty to the SOS Brigade… to investigate!"
You're kidding, right? "You realize it's nearly 2 a.m.?"
"All the better for suspicious events."
"And that it's pouring rain?"
She looked at me as though I was crazy to even consider something so trivial, "We can't let a little rain stop our mission!"
Leave it to Haruhi to consider an impending tropical storm 'a little rain.' I sighed, wondering at that point if I was any better than Koizumi. Or maybe he was the smart one – giving in immediately – while I struggled against her iron will like an ant pushing a dumbbell.
I could blame the booze but I wouldn't be fooling anyone. Mistake #2? I'm going to lose count.
As so, with flashlights and umbrellas "borrowed" from our host's mud room, we set out. It was pitch black, the pitiful beam from our flashlights barely making it three feet in front of us. Unfortunately the alcohol had granted Haruhi an extra boost of recklessness… but not the motor skills to go with it. The rain was coming down in such a flood that there were pools of water spreading all over the ground.
After the third time of her slipping and nearly dragging me down with her, I attempted to steer her back in the direction of the mansion.
"Ooh, Kyon, wait – I saw something!"
Somehow I doubt it, but I'll look if only to get you to shut up and come home - - AHH – what the hell is that!!?
"I don't know – let's find out!"
Judging from the scary glowing eyes I don't particularly care if it's a wild animal or an authentic mystery - either way I don't want anything to do with it.
Of course true to form she was already crawling through the bushes to investigate.
I had no choice but to follow. With her head start she rapidly slipped out of my view. Then I heard the scream. Good lord, Haruhi, keep that up and the whole house will be awake.
"What? Did you find someth—"
Oh, I see; yuck.
I'm not sure it was worth screaming about, but I'll admit it was pretty awful. It must have been a native plant or something, because as soon as I passed the tall, slightly deformed-looking tree my entire body felt like it had been doused with ice-cold slime. Only stickier.
Haruhi was wiping futilely at her legs, the weird substance only clinging more tenaciously in the face of her efforts.
I grabbed her hand, "C'mon – I'm not sure if this stuff is toxic, but we'd better get it off as quickly as possible."
For once not putting up an argument, she matched my quick pace, muttering the entire time. Mostly cursing the unfairness of a mystery with a built in self-defense mechanism.
Well doesn't that just make it even more odd, missy?
Once we made it back, we did our best to complete the trek upstairs without leaving the stickiness all over the house, but top priority was getting to the shower. It hit me at the top of the stairs.
"Haruhi… there's only one shower that works on this floor."
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