Disclaimer: On the 753872938th day, God said, "let there be House." And so it was done. Unfortunately, it wasn't done by me. Therefore, I own nothing.
Author's note: This was the first fic I ever started, but it kind of sat on my computer unfinished for a while before I picked it up again. Therefore I should probably apologise in advance for any OOC-ness that I'm sure is floating around. Hopefully there's not too much of it though, because I'd hate to butcher the House/Wilson relationship since it's my absolute favourite!
The door to Exam Room One swung open with a decisively annoyed thump. A boyish face poked itself through the gap created.
"I need a consult."
Doctor Wilson cast his eyes around the room, his head turning a half circle as he surveyed the surroundings. Surroundings which happened to contain only one other face - that of his close friend, Doctor House.
"Well? Where's the patient?"
"We're diagnosing her in her absence."
Sighing, Wilson shut the door and approached the man who sat before him, twirling his cane with an innocent expression on his face. It was this expression which told Wilson that the imminent 'consultation' would take a while.
"Actually, I was hoping that you'd be able to tell me of them."
A creased brow and a hand-on-the-hip stance betrayed Wilson's apparent confusion. He kept his mouth shut, however, as he knew well that remaining silent was the path to take at present. Knowing House, the point would not be far behind this enigmatic response.
Sure enough, less than a minute had passed before the man put down his cane and pierced his friend's golden brown eyes with his own icy blue orbs.
"You see, you have rather more experience than I at being rejected on the issue of dates."
Accustomed as he was to House's unconventional penchant for approaching conversations backwards, it took but a few seconds for Wilson to deduce his friend's meaning.
"She asked you out?"
A barely perceptible nod of the curly haired head confirmed his supposition.
"And you said no."
This time, it wasn't a question. They'd been through many topics before in the same manner: he knew that he had ascertained House's meaning, House knew that he knew, thus there was no need to say any more on what had already happened. The unique companionship shared between the two doctors afforded them this privilege, at least.
"So... what now?" Wilson asked the question tentatively, unsure as to how this probing of his friend's unpredictable emotions would be received.
House stood up, limping across the room in as best an imitation of pacing as his bad leg would allow. "That's what you're here for."
"You want me to talk to her?"
"And that would achieve what?" House rolled his eyes. "No, I want you to tell me how this will affect her."
It was now Wilson's turn to feign exaggerated exasperation. "So you don't care about her at all, you reject her request for a date, and now you want to know how she feels about-"
"More specifically," House said loudly, speaking over the top of his friend, "how it will affect her ability to do her job."
There was a pause as Wilson considered the implications of this question. "Don't you think Cameron's a bit more professional than that?"
"What I think isn't important, all that matters is what I know: if she lets this get even slightly in the way of doing her job properly, then-"
"-you can pull her back into line-"
"-by which time it's too late. She's already screwed up and killed someone."
"House. She'll be fine."
"You sure? Dejection after rejection has never led you to do something stupid?"
"Nothing that harmed anyone else, no. Look, I'm sure that Cameron is mature enough to handle anything you throw at her. Now, you, on the other hand..."
Wilson trailed off with a meaningful glance in House's direction. But he either didn't notice or, as was more likely, refused to take the bait.
"The fact that you told me about this rather than my having to worm it out of you as per usual suggests that it actually means something to you."
He was prepared for the defensive retort. "What's there to mean? She asked me to dinner, I rejected her. Big deal."
Wilson looked at the other doctor, shaking his head with a rueful smile. "You really have no idea what it takes to ask someone out, do you?"
House raised his eyebrows as he held the gaze that was directed towards him. "Are we still talking about Cameron here?"
His companion looked away, but pressed his point. "Well? Do you?"
"Course not. Never had to ask, myself; you know how I'm a real chick magnet. Can't get them off me. Must be the cane or something, the cripple thing is a real turn on." House paused in his speech to wave the mentioned object in front of Wilson's face. "But if it came to it, which it wouldn't, I'm sure there's nothing to it. How hard can it be to spit out a few words?"
"Huh." Wilson glanced at him with a disbelieving expression.
"Anyway, that sounds like the attitude of a teenager. You shouldn't assume everyone is as immature or chicken as you are."
"Yeah? Fifty bucks says you haven't got the guts to ask someone out. In the next hour."
"So this is your cunning plan to get me on a date. Not going to happen."
"You think I'm so easily won over? You should know me better."
"-and five hours of clinic duty."
That stopped House in his tracks. He paused in his pacing, considering the offer.
"I just have to ask someone out for a date?"
A nod indicated the affirmative.
"Do they have to say yes?"
Wilson snorted. "Only you would try to escape the date part of a bet where you have to ask someone out on a date."
"Ah, but wasn't the point of this bet to get me to experience the supposed gut-wrenching terror of having to do the asking?"
"I suppose so," was the rather reluctant response. There was a pause as the terms of the bet were mulled over. "Alright, they don't have to say yes, but the person you ask has to like you enough such that agreement is a possibility. Asking a random five year old on the street hardly inspire nervousness."
"Damn, and that five year old was looking like such an attractive option."
"So we're on then?"
"Fine with me."
Wilson chuckled as he got up to leave. "I'll be waiting at your office in an hour to collect my money." He was already halfway out the door when the gruff voice called him back.
"Will you go out with me?"