Title: I'm Sorry
Author: A.M. Glass
Copyright Dates: Jan. 4th – Jan. 7th, 2008
Ratings: (USA) T (UK) 15 (AUS) M
Pairing: JJ/Reid mention, Morgan/Garcia mention, Reid/Garcia?
Show Disclaimer: The characters from "Criminal Minds" were created by Jeff Davis. The following companies produce the show: Touchstone/CBS Paramount Network Television, The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and Paramount Network Television. The Executive – Co–Executive producers are: Gigi Coello-Bannon, Deborah Spero, Edward Allen Bernero, Debra J. Fisher, Mark Gordon and Jeff Davis.
Author's Disclaimer: Let's face it, I don't own "Criminal Minds" or any of the characters, back story, etc. I'm not making a cent from it – if I did, I'd buy a new computer and some other things. The story; along with any original characters are mine though… I think; pesky copyright laws.
Author's Notes: This is a sequel to "Movie Time" which is itself a sequel to "Not Quite Babysitting." This story did not turn out the way I had anticipated, nor am I exactly sure where I want this dynamic I've seem to stumble on go. It has taken three days of looking at this story, adding here, deleting there to finally say, "Post it already."
Thanks: To deal4321, tearbos, Raphael0877, mabelreid and jiskah for your kind words regarding either "NQB" or "Movie Time."
When Reid first came over to Garcia's three months ago, he had stared at the spot where her body had been found. He had squatted and looked at it, noting the dark stain was still clearly visible. He'd felt squeamish, 'That's Garcia's blood,' he thought before standing upright.
He'd restrained himself from touching the pavement, she wasn't dead, she was waiting upstairs for him and he'd hurried inside.
Now three months later, he sat in his car, occasionally looking toward the apartment complex. He had run out on her without explanation and he was at a loss as to what to do.
She had already called him twice.
"Reid, what the hell is going on? You'd better call me right back before I sic my Babies on you and track your ass down."
He grimaced, she was angry. She had every right to be. It wasn't her fault he fantasized about her. It wasn't her fault he wanted to march right back in and do what he'd fantasized.
The only thing that kept him from doing so was her second message.
"I'm sorry I yelled..." she said, pausing slightly. "Genius, did I do something wrong? Have I offended you in someway? If you don't want to come over..." Another pause, he could hear the hitch in her voice. "You don't have too, I... consider your babysitting assignment completed, goodnight Dr. Reid."
In an unexpected display of anger – Spencer slammed his hand on the dashboard.
This wasn't supposed to happen. He was – should be sitting next to her, watching a movie, glancing in her direction from time to time.
His heart should be thumping strongly whenever she got excited and grabbed his hand. He would squeeze hers gently in return while he smiled. He should be discussing the movie with her after it ended, pointing out the inconsistencies in the plot line, while she argued each point he brought up, sometimes outwitting him.
He should be having a late night snack, watching Garcia as she moved about the kitchen, watching the play of her form as she reached for a bowl or a cup. He would have licked his lips when her neck came into view, something about her neck called to him.
Perhaps behind the ear, a kiss, and a lick... would she shudder in delight? Would her hands find purchase on his thighs as he nibbled? Making him shudder as her hands moved up.
He would never be happy with a simple kiss, no, he'd want to touch and taste every square inch of her body. Mapping all the areas that drove her wild, storing the information away in a special section of his brain, he would label it: Penelope.
Maybe she would to the same. Maybe she would find areas on his body which would make his toes curl, his eyes roll back in his head. Maybe she would have her own file on him.
Perhaps under: Spencer or Reid or simply Genius?
The delicious torture he put himself through when he came over to watch movies was unlike anything he'd ever known. The ache he felt deep down, wanting to rush home and relieve his desire for her – yet not doing so, feeling he'd somehow cheapen her someway.
This was what he should be doing instead of sitting in his car, thinking of how badly this had gone.
He closed his eyes and shook his head, he'd hurt her. He could hear the pain in her voice. He never meant to, he'd much rather hurt himself than to harm Penelope.
He had to apologize.
He knew this.
The only problem was, he wasn't sure how.
She'd want to know why he'd run out.
What would he say, how would he answer?
"I think I'm in love with you."
Wouldn't that go over well?
Once the initial shock had worn off, she would look into his eyes and he'd see...
He'd see pity.
He'd also see remorse.
He'd tell her he understood.
He understood she didn't feel the same way.
No, she hadn't done anything wrong, she hadn't led him on in any way, this was something he'd have to deal with.
He would absolve her of her perceived sins. He didn't want her to look back and attempt to pinpoint what she could have said or done to make him believe that she felt more.
There would be the inevitable strain on their relationship, their friendship. She would most likely avoid him, for his own good. His eyes would follow her every move – devouring her in his mind if nowhere else. She would catch him watching her and he would turn away ashamed he couldn't keep himself in check.
He would slip up somehow and Morgan would find out. Garcia wouldn't tell Morgan outright, but he'd notice – he'd ask her.
Morgan would get to the bottom of things.
Apologizing would be tricky.
He gripped the steering wheel, leaned forward and rested his forehead on it. "I'm sorry," he whispered. He leaned back, started his car, taking one last look at her aparment and pulled away.
Garcia stared out the window and her heart went out to Reid. She gasped when he'd hit the dashboard with his hand.
What had she done? What could have possibly happened to make him rush out of her apartment that way?
Why couldn't he tell her?
She grabbed her cell phone and left him a message which was bit harsh, but it irked her to know he didn't feel he could tell her why or what had upset him.
She'd fully expected to see an empty space where he'd parked when she walked to the window.
But, he sat there, lost in thought or so it seemed.
Something was bothering him and she had no clue what it was.
She had no idea how to help him.
She wracked her brain, going over what had happened when he showed up. She'd seen him get out to the car and smiled, she enjoyed these evenings, time spent away from the job in good company.
She loved how his mind worked, pointing out flaws in the movies she hadn't noticed before or seeing the movie in a completely different light as they discussed it afterwards.
She watched as he walked with a sense of purpose and she got the DVD ready and fully expected him to knock. When he hadn't she became alarmed, 'He should be here by now,' she thought. She checked through the peephole and there he was, standing there.
She opened the door, "Reid? Genius? Are you coming in?"
It wasn't until she felt his cheek to see if he had a fever that he acknowledged her presence.
He stepped inside and headed right for the couch. She'd asked him if he wanted anything to drink, she always did, but he'd told her no. His behavior was becoming worrisome.
She sat down next to him and touched his shoulder asking if he was okay.
Reid had closed his eyes and he clenched his fists.
"Wait," she uttered out loud.
He closed his eyes and clenched his fists when she put her hand on his shoulder...
That couldn't be it? Could it?
She had become a little more affectionate around him, she thought. She'd hug him good-night, but friends do that.
Maybe – maybe she held on a moment or two longer than needed?
Maybe she started looking forward to their evenings together a little too much?
Perhaps Reid was simply coming over out of some overly developed sense of duty?
Maybe he was starting to begrudge all the time they spent together? No, he really seemed to like coming over, hell they were supposed to watch a movie he suggested.
Could it be she was keeping him from JJ? Maybe that was it. She was holding him back from spending time with JJ.
No, that couldn't be it. JJ would have come to her and let her know.
She could keep guessing all night and still not know what the problem was, only Reid could tell her and it didn't look like that was going to happen.
She made up her mind.
Garcia grabbed her cell phone and dialed his number again, knowing he probably wouldn't pick it up. She was going to tell him he didn't need to come over anymore.
"Umm, hello, you've uh, you've reached the cell phone of Dr. Spencer Reid – umm, please leave your name, phone number and a message and I'll return the call as soon as I can, thank you. Oh, wait for the beep."
"I'm sorry I yelled..." she said, pausing slightly. "Genius, did I do something wrong? Have I offended you in someway? If you don't want to come over..."
She had to get her thoughts together she couldn't keep rambling like this. 'Just tell him,' she kept saying to herself, wondering why her eyes seemed to be watering. "You don't have too, I... consider your babysitting assignment completed, goodnight Dr. Reid."
She gasped as she hung up the phone. She angrily wiped at the tears falling down her cheeks.
She hadn't meant to call him: Dr. Reid.
She hadn't meant for her voice to catch as she left the message.
"I'm sorry," she whispered as she placed her hand on the window, she barely saw him drive off for the tears in her eyes.