Disclaimer: I own nada, zilch. But if you are reading this, you already knew that!
A/N: Okay, I told y'all these characters are a bit out of character. I hope you like this chapter. I really enjoyed writing it.
I sat gaping at Nurse Pat for what felt like a million years. My face felt so hot that I thought I might pass out. I had to make quite the conscious effort to bring my jaw back into a normal position before I started drooling on myself.
"Now Bella," she sighed, "it's okay dear. You don't have to worry about a thing. I do not have the last name Stanley or Newton or any of the other blabbermouths in this town. I am from Spokane, thank you very much. The only reason I'm here is because my husband was transferred to Port Angeles."
I tried to swallow the bile that was rising up my throat. I still couldn't say a word. Nurse Pat looked at me, concerned clearly etched on her face.
"Go on Bella. Go to my bathroom. Do you need help with the directions?" She smiled at me and patted my knee.
"I've never taken a test before. Really, is this necessary?" I couldn't believe we were discussing this at school. "I mean, I don't have a boyfriend. I, I"
"Oh, baby I'm sorry. Of course there's no reason to take the test if you have never engaged in any type of risky behavior." Kill me now. "You do know that you can get pregnant without having actual intercourse, don't you Bella?" I really think I'm going to be sick.
"No, I didn't know that," I whispered unsure she heard me.
"Of course, if you are involved in what we used to call heavy petting,"What? I'm not a fucking animal! "You know, touching and exploring each other." She smiled knowingly at me and I felt the red splotches appearing on my neck. "If you do that without clothes, well some sperm can leak out and before you know it you've got a plus sign on your test!"
"But, but.." I stammered. Please let me die. This is the most disturbing conversation I have ever had with an adult.
"Just go take the test. You put the test down in your urine stream. It only takes three minutes. If you get a minus sign you aren't pregnant. A plus sign means you are. Go on, you can do it." And with that, she pulled me out of my seat and pushed me into the bathroom.
I stood there and held the little box in my hands. Do I need to take this test? That's the problem. I don't know. I never even considered that I was pregnant. How stupid could I be? No. This is a stomach virus. I am not pregnant. I have only had sex once. Nobody gets pregnant her first time. Right? Right? I stared into the mirror above the sink and hardly recognized the face staring back at me. Oh, what the hell.
I tore the box open and pulled the sealed test out of the box. I ripped the plastic covering and started shaking when I saw the white stick.Get it together, Bella. I carefully placed the open test on the sink, unzipped my jeans, and sat down on the toilet. Here goes nothing.
I replaced the cap on the test and placed it carefully on the counter. With trembling hands I zipped my jeans and slowly stood up. How long has it been? I know it hasn't been three minutes. I closed my eyes to keep from peeking at the two boxes on the test and took ten deep breaths repeating my mantra- I'm not pregnant, I'm not pregnant. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. The suspense was killing me. I opened one eye and leaned toward the counter. Both eyes bulged out of my head and I had to grab the counter to steady myself.
"Holy shit!" A perfect blue plus sign was staring back at me. I grabbed the test and tried to shake the plus sign off like it was an old Etch-A-Sketch. It didn't budge. "No, NO, NO!"
Nurse Pat was in the room in an instant. I heard her come in, but I didn't acknowledge her. I just continued to stare at the blue plus sign and mumble to myself. This cannot be happening. What am I going to do? Charlie's going to kill me! I vaguely felt Nurse Pat gently take the test out of my clammy hands. I didn't tighten my grip. I wanted nothing but the hateful little stick out of my line of vision. What am I going to do?
"Well, Bella. Don't you feel, um, better knowing that you aren't sick?"No. I feel worse. "Now we know what our situation is, so we can address it early."Our situation, yeah right. Should we discuss my impending death? By the look on Nurse Pat's face when I glared at her I'm sure 'if looks could kill' popped in her head.
She sighed heavily and took my hand, pulling away from the counter. I followed clumsily behind her, not quite sure where we were going. She sat me in her cushy, black leather office chair and grabbed a phone book.
"Okay, hon. We need to get you a doctor-an OB/GYN. You need to go as soon as possible to find out how far along you are." She was talking so quickly I had to look up at her to catch everything. "Of course, I can go with you if you'd like me to- I don't mind. You can trust me, Bella. I know how you must be feeling right now."
She had no idea how I was feeling right now. I felt my eyes begin to spill over with tears. Silently, they ran down my face and dripped off my chin. Who gets pregnant her first time? Who?
"Here we go- Dr. Moore. He's in Port Angeles. I have friends that have used him. How bout we give him a call?"
"I don't know what I'm going to do," I croaked out, giving away the fact that I was sobbing silently.
"Don't cry, Bella." Nurse Pat wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. "It will be okay. You are not the first eighteen year old to get pregnant and you won't be the last. You have options, so we need to find out exactly how far along you are so that you can make an informed decision." She picked up the phone to call the doctor.
"I know how far along I am," I finally managed to choke out. Nurse Pat put the phone down. "I've only had sex once. I've only done anything once."
"Bella?" She looked uncertainly at me and I realized that I needed to speak louder instead of acting like I was talking to myself.
"Well, I've never been regular, you see. So, I didn't worry about it. Actually, it never even crossed my mind. Who gets pregnant her first and only time? Who? Seriously, this is unbelievable. Anyway, I'll go five, six, seven weeks without a period. So I didn't even consider it. But I'm five weeks along. It was five weeks Saturday since I lost my virginity." The tears were coming freely now. There was no stopping them. I wrapped my arms around my chest and began rocking back and forth in the comfy leather chair. "Who gets pregnant her first time? Who?"
"Oh, Bella. All it takes is one time. Did you not use protection? Do you even know about protection? This ultra-conservative school in this small town wouldn't let me do a sex-ed class. 'We prefer to only discuss abstinence.' Oh, how ridiculous. This town is so small, what do you kids have to do besides ride around drinking beer and making your own fun?"
"What am I going to do, Nurse Pat? Charlie's going to kill me! I'm eighteen. I graduate in four months. I have a scholarship to WSU." I quit rocking back and forth, wiped my eyes, and looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes.
"Well, I'll tell you what we're going to do first. We're going to go to the doctor and check you out. He'll put you on some vitamins and give you something for the nausea."
She picked up the phone and began talking to a receptionist on the other end. I should have been listening, but at that moment I was in my own little fucked up world that all I heard sounded like the teachers on the Charlie Brown cartoons I used to watch as a kid. Wam-whum-wam-whum.
She hung up the phone and walked over to me. "I made you an appointment for Thursday." She pulled a chair up beside me and sat down. "Okay, well, I hate to ask you this, but do you want to tell the father?"
I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes. She's going to think I am such a slut. How many people have a one-night stand for their very first time? When I imagined losing my virginity, I didn't have this in mind. I had a boyfriend for at least six months and it was a planned event-lingerie and all. Not a spur of the moment, make my mind spin event with a guy I just met in a bar that I wasn't supposed to be in the first place.
"Uh. Well, Nurse Pat, it's a little complicated." I hesitated, not quite sure what to say. "And embarrassing."
"Go on." She smiled and patted my knee again. "I know you think I don't understand. But I do. I'm not that old." She smiled at me and gave me a wink.
"Well, um, you know that ski trip we went on right after Christmas?" She nodded her head, indicating she wanted me to continue. "Well, see, I met this boy the night we got there. Um, we kinda snuck into a…"
"A bar, huh?" She laughed. "It's okay Bella. I remember having a fake i.d. too."
"Yeah, well, we snuck into this bar and I started talking to this guy. He was so beautiful. Truly beautiful, he looked like a model. And he was interested in me. And it went to my head. Next thing I knew, I was in his hotel room and I was no longer a virgin."
"Oh. So this was a one-night stand, huh?" She laughed, but I didn't see anything funny. "Well, that's not so bad. And no, I don't think you are a slut. Had you been drinking?"
"Yes." I kept my head down and started picking at a nail on my right hand.
"Do you know how to get in touch with this guy? Do you remember his name and where he lives?"
"Not really." That was a lie, but I wasn't sure exactly what to say. I remembered everything about that beautiful boy- the way his eyes held me hypnotized, the way he smelled so sweet, the way his body was so beautiful, the way he touched me that made my body catch fire although he was so cold. Everything. But I couldn't tell her just yet. But I had definitely lied. I remembered everything about Edward Cullen.