By Crystal Psycho

Summary: March 9th. I'll deny that we bathed together. Seriously, the fact that he stripped in front of me and then slept with me on the same bed without boxers is hard enough to digest. [SasuNaru, fox!Naruto

NOTE: Mamashi Kishimoto's characters, names and sort of universe. Written in Naruto's POV.

Warnings: REALLY bad language, smut scenes in later chapters (it even has a little het :D)

Prologue: Explain?

First of all, let's get you into the mood, alright? Think about a warm, spring day in Konoha.

Well, not Konoha you know – of course, there can't be possibly drug-deals issues in the Konoha we all love and cherish… right…?

Right. Ahem.

So the Konoha we're going to talk about is almost the same Konoha that you know. Except there's a little difference. A tiny bitsy difference.

Those who are qualified for the ANBU, go to 'ANBU Academy' which is just like high-school for snobs and bitches.

Those who aren't qualified are stuck doing stupid mission till the end of their pathetic life.

Like me, for example. Such a good talent going to waste! Blind examiners!

Oh, sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah, A bright, sunny warm spring day in Konoha.

On that bright day, I sat in the old hag's office, playing with her pig and burning papers and scribbling down things on the scattered papers. The old hag won't even notice.

To think that the next Hokage of the Hidden leaf is doing nothing at all when he could save the world by killing some rich dudes and freeing slaves in some poor country.

"Naruto…?" Sakura entered the room, yawning in the process. "You finished the paperwork?"

Sakura is tall (taller than me, but I'm 16 and still growing!), slim and beautiful. We're friends from kindergarten, which is why I am absolutely perfect for her.

She stared at the burned papers around the room and sighed. "Tsunade-sama is calling you."

"Finally, an A-ranked mission!" I yelled. Sakura snorted, walking away.

"Should I close the office?"

"No need, she'll be over with handing out the missions in an hour and have all the time in the world to yell at you for the mess."

I laughed, catching up to her.

When we entered the hall, I noticed all that the fifth Hokage was already tired and had one finger rubbing her temples, better not to piss her off like that.

"Alright, Naruto. I'm sending you off to spy on the Uchiha Boy."

"Eh? Me? Haven't we agreed someone else is going to do that mission?"

"There's no one else. There's nobody as good as you are in transforming."


"And you don't have to be a girl again, you need to be a cat or a dog… or something like that…"

"But I-"

"I said you're the only one for the job!" She yelled, her big boobs hitting the table. I frowned. "If this mission will succeed and we'll catch the responsible, I'll see what I can do about the ANBU Academy for you."

I considered the offer for a few seconds. At least I won't be stuck doing C-ranked missions, but then I would be stuck enduring snobs. Yet I'll be able to enter a proper place to make it into elite teams (not that I'm not an elite ninja already!). Tempting.

I sighed heavily and nodded.

Two months ago, Tsunade, the fifth Hokage of Konoha has been reported that there have been many drug deals in the surroundings.

Even though she wasn't sure of the reliability of the reports, she has been convinced that it was so. Tsunade had called the best elite ninja's of village, as in Shikamaru the (lazy) genius, Chouji (Shikamaru's best friend) that usually had sudden brilliant ideas once in a while, and Sakura who had been the smartest girl even in the academy days. They all investigated, and to the shock and surprise, all the clues lead to the bad-boy of Konoha ANBU Academy; Uchiha Sasuke.

Sakura fainted, Shikamaru said it's troublesome and Chouji finished a package of chips.

Sasuke Uchiha was a complete asshole stuck-up. Even though I met him twice; he was the all-goodie-goodie boy with high-grades, too much ego and one hell of a weird hair-cut. For some reasons all the teacher flavored him and all the girls idolized him like a sex-god. Nothing much to look it: skinny-yet-muscular guy with a girly face. He should be in some gay boy band, and sing one of those crappy songs about how miserable he is and why love hurts. To conclude it all, Sasuke Uchiha was a bastard from birth, an emo from kindergarten, and a convict in Konoha Prison from the day he met me – Because I, Great Naruto Uzumaki, shall be the one who put him there in first place.

That's why I became a spy for the Uchiha family.

A/N: Hello, fellow 'fan-fic'er. If you are reading this, please do mind, that my mother language is not English, and that I have no beta. Thank you. :D

I also do like (very much) reviews. So please, be nice and leave me a review.

I have so much on my head right now; I wouldn't know where to start my rumbling.

I guess I should start by: 'why am creating a new fic when there are three more I'm not updating?' Well… I don't know. I want to upload all the stories that have gathered in my years of not moving my ass inside Also, Diaper Sharingan and FFT are written when I'm in the mood for a laugh.

This is going to be a 'kind-of-funny-but-they-love-each-other-so-boo-hoo!' story. I hope that made sense. :D

Next week, Next chapter!

Be sure you REVIEWED. Because it makes me want to write more! And if I write more, you get more. (You shall recieve special cookies:D)


Special cookie with spicy-dream-chocolate-chip, for you!