By Crystal Psycho

Summary: March 9th. I'll deny that we bathed together. Seriously, the fact that he stripped in front of me and then slept with me on the same bed without boxers is hard enough to digest. SasuNaru, fox!Naruto

NOTE: Mamashi Kishimoto's characters, names and sort of universe. Written in Naruto's POV.

Warnings: Wedding(?). Well, sort of.

SEVEN: Alluring Circumstances

"Mmmmnnn… Naruto, you feel so good…"

"Ah…! Sasuke!!"

"Mmmm… yes…"

"Get that thing off me you bastard, or else you're going to get it!" the smaller male screeched aggressively. For the record, he's using a super smelly vanilla-scented soap on me, while he attempts to drown me in this huge-ass Jacuzzi tub. There are bubbles everywhere. And the hot water and soap mix makes the scratches and cuts I collected from our mad run through the trees throb and tingle like a bitch...

Not a brilliant idea (who ever said Sasuke is a genius, I wonder? he's just a bastard. Being a bastard doesn't make one a genius, does it?) But at least we were able to shake those ANBU assholes off our tails. God, that soap stings!

"How come you have such milky skin, hmm, love?" A breathy masculine voice purred by his ear making him shiver slightly.

"How come you're being such a smartass, hmm, bastard?" mimicking his tone down pat. The Uchiha chuckled in reply. "Nee, Naru-chan, please remember to call me Lee and not Sasuke, it's very frustrating and worrisome having to shut you up every time you do." He warned, scrubbing a particularly stubborn spot behind my shoulder blade.

"Well, sor-ry."

"Mmmmnnnn…" Sasuke's breathing was dangerously close to my ear, and sent deliciously warm currents all over my wet body.

"Lee-kun!" her high-pitch voice buzzed over his senses like a swarm of killer bees. Sasuke sighed deeply and hugged me close to scrub my lower back. His silky shirt slid down my damp skin; taking away the last traces of soap while leaving behind simmering reminders of a touch that suddenly disappeared.

I couldn't stop the shudder that ran up my back.

"Lee! I know you're in there!" she screeched as his head shot towards the door.

"Obnoxious woman." He whispered with a frown before turning back towards me with a smirk, "I can't wait until we're all alone tonight." The Uchiha ran warm lips over my sensitive neck, sliding them towards my ear.

Ah! Damn him! A soft moan escaped my lips against my will.

The princess boldly opened the door. She was seriously blushing now.

"Oh, Sasuke, uh, I just thought that uh, since we're going to get married anyway, I should see all your body parts –"

Dazed I watched as a pale hand slid down my shoulder into the hot water to pinch my nipple. I bit back a groan. Bastard.


A Glare met her heads on.

"Lee…" I rolled my eyes. The fingers were teasing the hardening while he stayed silent and I died of shame.

"Ah!" She almost fainted, but one of her maids caught her on time. "What's he doing here? Inside your bath? Why are you with him?" She demanded once she fully recovered.

"Naru-chan is mine, thus… he sleeps with me and bathes with me… It would be terrible for a pet to be kept away from its master, wouldn't it?" He lifted a wet hand to tickle my chin. I frowned and pouted, shifting away from him inside the water.

He bit his lower lip noticing my reaction, and looked back at her with a small frown. He was not pleased. "Is there something else you need other than satisfying your voyeuristic needs, princess?"

She blinked a few times, staring at me.

"No, I just came to check up on you…" She trailed away, still staring at me. She blinked and then blushed but she didn't look away. Her eyes seemed to trace my form curiously now. Huh? What is it, why is she staring at me? Do I have fake-breasts? Nah, don't come telling me that I'm prettier than Sasuke when naked… ha-ha… up your face Sasuke…!

"Is he naked?" She finally asked. I could feel Sasuke roll his eyes beside me. He opened his mouth to reply something nasty but stopped himself and closed his mouth. Curious, my eyes shifted from one to the other, wondering where this was leading to. He sighed before saying patiently replying "But of course he is naked, princess. Clothes are not conductive to baths." Even I could hear the bitterness clawing through his chest.

Her face turned a red so brilliant that for a second I feared her head would blow into pieces. Then, she screamed and covered her eyes with her hands while running away from the room.

I think my opinion of her just got downgraded.

Ah, this is the life!

I am inside a room big enough to fit my old apartment. I am lying inside a nest of sweet-smelling deep plum colored sheets on an enormous king-size bed which I suspect the bastard specifically requested for me. My stomach is full. The bath was warm and nice. I am even wearing dark blue silk pajamas for the first time ever. As I said, Life is good!

I rolled on my belly, enjoying the feel of the silky pajamas over my skin as they came in contact with the cool sheets and the soft pillows. Mmm!

Make it last forever.

"Enjoying yourself…?" Sasuke's voice said from somewhere above my head. I looked up; he was standing beside the headboard of the bed. He probably sneaked in just to interrupt my enjoyment and tease me. Well, I won't let him ruin my fun.

I stubbornly looked away, Ah, even my cheek felt great on the pillow!

The bed was so soft. I stiffened immediately when I felt the mattress sink from his weight beside me. .

"I wonder…" he sounded excited, that perversely horny asshole. "How does your body feel through silk…" his hand slid over my back to see for himself. I choked on my own breath.

God, it felt god!

But I shall not be tempted. If he thinks he's going to take away my innocence tonight, HE'S IN FOR A SURPRISE!

"Sasuke…" I moaned breathlessly, turning towards him with a blush on my face that was not feigned.

He stared at me for a second before his eyes bled Sharingan red and he practically dove towards me, covering my body with his.

Expecting his move, I positioned my knee between his legs and kicked him there. Hard. A pained curse crossed the silent stillness before I half pushed the man away. Smiling brightly I caressed his back nonchalantly as he writhed painfully... "Goodnight, bastard!" A hand shot to wrap around my wrist.

"Love, if you think that's going to help you…"

"No, fuck off-" Lightning quick, he sat on me, catching my both my wrists on a tight grip, like they were little bees interrupting him from his main goal. "Sasuke, I said off...!" I warned, struggling underneath him.

He lowered his body to me, watching my eyes intently, like a carnivore watching his prey, enjoying while it struggles and come to the realization there is no escape. His onyx depths pierced me as though, I was nothing but his quarry: powerless. I felt my body tense while the muscles on my arms and legs melted. I couldn't even move my fingers.

It felt as if I was trapped in genjutsu, the illusion of his eyes. His heated tongue darted from his mouth and as I watched powerlessly, it stole a taste of my unresponsive lips. He smirked, flexing his hips against mine while his tongue slid down my chin towards my neck leaving a trail of fire. My breath increased as my eyesight grew dim and still that perverted tongue pressed down to taste my skin over the silk covering my body. My mind's protests shut down the moment his tongue traced my nipple over the silk, biting it lightly. He slowly released my arms as I'd forgotten their use long time ago, his own hands gliding down my body, enjoying the heated feel of silk against skin. And fuck that felt good! Greedily, I moaned pushing my hips upwards while arching my back. I wanted more. I needed more. A teasing chuckle had me sinking my claws on-

"Eh? Sasuke, you into boys? Never would've guessed." A lazy voice drawled really close to my head.

I let out a shriek of terror and turning, jerked away as far as I could. Unfortunately behind me was the headboard, so I hit it and fell on top of Sasuke, who didn't seem pleased by the newcomer either. With a stifled, he fell back against the mattress, with me on top. Our heated bodies bouncing and grinding against each other as the bed dip and coiled under us. The silk over my body made me specially conscious of Sasuke's state of arousal as it pressed against his pants.

The blush spread over my cheeks with the speed of a fan girl before the man of her dreams. I jumped off of him, meeting face to face with none other than Kakashi Hatake our copy-nin. Well, not Kakashi… more like Kakashi's book, where Kakashi's face was buried into.

"Ah, Naruto-kun, you're here too?" He drawled easily as he sat down.

"Look, it's not what it looks like."

"You're personal bed-partner choice and experience is, sadly, not any of my business, but if you really want to share, I can always lend you an attentive ear." He sobered up and turned towards a disgruntled looking Sasuke. "Now tell me, just what are you two doing here making yourself to be the crown prince?"

"It's a top-secret mission." Came Sasuke's quick retort.

"Hmmm… never heard of it." He drawled, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Tsunade's orders." Was Sasuke's cutting remark.

Blue eyes studied both males while worrying his lower lip. It surely felt like two carnivores were sizing each other looking for a weakness.

"Never imagined I'd see the two of you… together…" he coughed, "on a mission." He paused, his meaning clear to all inside the room.

"I think it's about time for you to get the fuck out of here, sensei." Sasuke's tone was so cheerful it was scary. I shivered inside my pajamas.

"Something's fishy." Kakashi stared at me his visible eye peered into my blushing face skeptically. After a long pause, he finally aired his suspicions. "Sasuke's actually having fun on a mission. No matter how you look at it, this would never happen, not in a million years."

"Then why don't you send for confirmation from Tsunade-san? Just to clear things up…? It would only take retrieving one of your nin-dogs." Sasuke drawled with nary a pause while Naruto tensed with disbelief.

Is he nuts? He's gonna have the ANBU crawling up our buts in seconds! Damn it Sasuke, shut up!

"You know what? That's a great idea! Pakun was starting to sound like a broken record for want of something to do. I'm sending him to do just that. " He grinned happily.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go!" Sasuke ordered impatiently from his place near the headboard.

"I'm going, I'm going. Tsk, impatient youth!" Kakashi muttered as he rummaged through his pockets searching for something.

"Leave, Kakashi-sensei!" Twin red spots marred the perfect Uchiha complexion, signaling just how close he was to losing it.

"I'm leaving… see? I'm walking out of the door. Right, Naruto?" He offered his typical inverted grin, covered as it was by his ever present mask while he sauntered towards the door. He was definitely not in a hurry to leave.

I nodded nervously, warily eyeing the silent man near the bed. Silently, I started counting under my breath because I knew the end was near. Three, two, one…

"I said fuck the hell off!" Sasuke grabbed the closest thing at hand, a priceless vase and hurled it with ninja precision at him. Kakashi ducked with practiced ease, using the suddenly open door as a shield.

"Naruto, don't you have anything to report back to Tsunade? I mean, since this is an official mission…" Kakashi drawled, a devilish glint firing his dark eye before his silver head disappeared completely.

Studying the writhing mass of anger filled with killing intent that Sasuke had become, I decided it was much wiser to temporarily relocate with my perverted sensei. At least, he won't try to rape me… I have to stop him from contacting Tsunade.

Swiftly, I made my way towards the door. "Um, I think I better go with him, to help avoid suspicions…!" I rushed after the silver haired jounin.

"Damn it! I hate that asshole!" I cursed under my breath roaming around the castle after Kakashi-sensei went back to guard duty. I was too angry to appreciate the full moon tonight. If it were another night, I would have been in awe of the nightscape. The forest, the clear sky, the cold breeze over my face but no; Thoughts of the bastard kept my head to muddled to see farther than my nose. Idiotic Kakashi-sensei and his ridiculous ideas! He tried to convince me that the reason behind Sasuke's current actions originated from his long-held belief in his asexuality; therefore, he was probably going mad with sexual frustration and need.

"Sure, and just because he is sexually frustrated, I am supposed to let him vent his frustrations over poor little old me? Is he nuts? He may be hot, but I am not a woman!" I ground angrily trying to forget the way he made me feel earlier that same day.

Later, when I returned to my room, I found the bed completely messed up, all the sheets were on a tangle at the foot of the bed; bringing back flashing images of why it was so. Helplessly I blushed, wrapping my arms around myself, feeling my skin tighten with arousal.

A soft moan escaped my lips before I realized I was not alone. Movement registered from the corner of my eye, and I stiffened. He was sitting by the window, looking down.

"If you try to touch me, I'll escape." I warned with bravado I was not sure to keep. My instincts told me a completely different story.

"Alright." He said simply.

"Alright?" I repeated stupidly, blinking.

Well, that came as a surprise. What the hell is wrong with the gay freak? Did his fag-in-a-bag tendencies disappear? What? How the fuck? I was ready to…

"Yeah, okay. I can deal with the fact of your liking older men." He whispered resignedly.

"What?!" I practically screamed. "Fuck you, bastard! What are you talking about?"

"Don't worry. Starting tomorrow, we'll start a new life." He straightened resolutely, still staring outside the window.

"What do you mean?" I asked dumbfounded.

He stood up with a familiar smirk. Taking a step, he approached the window. It was close to midnight; he was breathtakingly gorgeous when bathed in moonlight. I had the sudden urge to see how his pale skin looked like when exposed to the moon. I shivered. The shadows made him seem even more slender, more alluring…more dangerous. Like a beast.

I gulped compulsively.

"I'll see you tomorrow, my love."

And with that he passed by me, and softly closed the door after himself.

Okay, I can deal with that.

I can so deal with that.

I opened the door, without thinking twice about it.

"And where will you sleep, huh?" I tried to reason to the empty hallways. Damn him for always making dramatic exits! It's not like I wanted him in my room! I slammed the door shut, cheeks puffing with anger. Well, screw him! Screw him!

Seriously, when he said 'I'll see you tomorrow', I was at least expecting to see him at breakfast. Instead, I was greeted by the Fainting Bitch and her Girly Maids. Obviously, that ruined my appetite.

She bickered about almost everything, starting from my outfit (I was wearing nothing but sweatpants) to my haircut. Mentioning in passing she didn't like me at all from the moment she met me.

'Huh?' Wisely I kept my mouth shut, because I was busy eating.

I am sure that asshole Sasuke allowed Kakashi to send Tsunade a message; I don't think we're going to stay here long enough to make it until lunch or better say, the wedding lunch.

She started preparing for the wedding right after I finished eating.

While some suspicious-looking maids took me by the hand and practically dragged me towards a weird room filled with lots of mirrors. Once there, these maids, fell on me like a pack of hungry wolves and divested me of my remaining clothes. Blushing, I stood before them in my boxers, ninja training forgotten as a really old hatchet-face orchestrated the attack. I protested loudly but was silenced with a curt "Prince's Orders" and that was that.

I was made to stand there like a porcelain-doll, prodded and pushed for over half an hour. Then during a lull of the torture, I happened to glance at myself in one of the mirrors. A gasp fell from my lips.

I was wearing a blue kimono so very pale, it was almost white. (Wait, isn't the bride in white?!); this light-azure kimono was unconventionally cut mid-thigh, allowing a good view of my thighs and legs as I walked. It was already distracting – which infuriated me. It's probably the bastard idea of revenge. Yeah, it's surely the bastard's fault. At least it covers my butt, I thought with resignation. Actually it had a veil-like ending that started from the obi and extended a few meters over the floor. The kimono opened slightly over my shoulders to allow the light azure undershirt, which ended with a blue collar to be seen.

If it was not for the thighs-thing, it would look okay, I guess. I looked around, thinking to pull on my sweatpants. I felt too exposed as it was but the more I looked for them, the more I realized they were nowhere to be found. I think the maids burned them while they were dressing me.

Oh gods! Oh, gods! Please, don't let me be flower-boy! Please, I don't want to be the flower boy! I begged pitifully to whichever god was listening to the great amusement of the demon inside me.

I look like a fucking bride! What if Kakashi sees me like that?! He'll tell the whole village! Imagine the look on Sakura's face! No! Oh, the embarrassment! Oh, the shame! What if he takes pictures? I wailed, imagining the laughter and humiliation, the shocked faces as they saw my pictures in this getup.

Since I already felt like a manga character, I tried to end my life by throwing myself over the window while yelling; "Damn you Sasuke you bastard!" But the maids, damn their hearts stopped me. Screw them, bitching maids.

Minutes after my latest heroic act, where I sat and wept, raging at the cruel fate awaiting me, the maids dragged me down the corridor and pushed me into some sort of hall.

Before I knew it, the whole fucking royal assembly was staring at me like I am the only piece of meat left and they are hungry. I whimpered, unconsciously trying to make myself look smaller. They looked even hungrier. Witless, my eyes scanned the hall, searching for a way out. There, my knees almost gave with relief when my eyes stumbled upon a familiar silhouette among all these dangerous creatures. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was Sasuke. My relief vanished.

Sasuke stood at the altar, his hateful smirk adorning his pale but handsome features; he had a red and black suit, formal enough for a wedding – but still not the formal traditional wedding wear required by this particular occasion.

I stiffened with a start. The wedding music had already started.

I have no basket, so I am not the flower boy… I guess I must start the procession. The bride will enter after I do.

Gah. Bastard.

There's no way I'm going to smile. Don't glare at me! Fine, I'll walk, but it's no like I want you. I groused inside, slowly making my way towards the altar.

Bastard! All the Daimyo are staring at my legs! Great. You asshole! Wait until we're alone! You just wait; I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life! Blushing, I ducked my head, trying to hide the fact that I was about to go Kyuubi on their asses. I shivered.

Perverts. Happy thoughts, Think happy thoughts. Sasuke covered in blood, happy thoughts! Sasuke sprawled in a puddle of blood. Sasuke sprawled. Sasuke sprawled on a bed. Sasuke sprawled on a bed naked. Sasuke sprawled on a bed naked, sucking- No, don't go there, Naruto. For there lies the path to perdition! My face feels hot enough to boil an egg over my forehead.

Finally, the surrounding excitement got to me halfway down the altar. Panicking, I stopped walking, lifted my head and looked around. My instincts screamed at me to bolt and run for the hills. Then cool reason returned and I tried to relax.

The one who's getting married is not me. There is no reason to panic! My feet started to move again but the closer I got to him, the brighter his eyes glinted, and it frightened me to no end.

Really, there is nothing to worry. I'm just the flowerless flower boy. I smiled at my pun, reminding myself once again of the true purpose of today's occasion, working on my breathing like a woman about to give birth.

When I reached the altar, I looked at him waiting for instructions. I had no idea where I was supposed to stand after this. Surely I had to make space for the others. With a breathtaking smile, he offered me his hand. He looked fucking beautiful.

At that moment, all I could think of was making out with him, everybody else was completely forgotten. In a daze, I took his hand, and he pulled me up next to him, before the priest.

"There will be a slight disturbance, but don't worry, love. Soon enough you'll be mine." He whispered against my temple making me tremble.

Huh? Something inside me echoed softly until it became a roaring thunder.

What was that? Yours, you say? Yours? You wish! You fucking dick! I opened my mouth to protest but from the same set of doors I came from the princess spilled in, wearing purple and white. She looked pretty, but still everybody stared at me.

He's such an asshole, making me wear almost white. The bastard drew lazy circles on my waist that wrought havoc with my senses not to mention laid my reason and my protests to rest in peace immediately.

When her mind registered who was at the altar by her husband to be, she winced and started walking faster. When she got to us she promptly fainted as expected. Sasuke smiled to the priest and nodded.

"You may start." He smiled, using his charm to the max.

"But-but the princess--" the priest stammered nervously, eyeing her and the royal assembly.

"It's alright, we have a substitute. A prettier one, too I'd say. Right?" he smirked at me, and took my hand, engulfing it within his bigger, warmer ones. His playful eyes told me he was aware I was dying to slap the smirk off his face and tell him off for being such a bastard! Only problem was that everybody was there watching us –Konoha-Nin even if they didn't know- and he knew it and used that against me. Oh god!

My heart thumped quickly and painfully within my chest. I felt dizzy and weak but I'll be damned if I'd ever allow my name to be compared to Fainting Bitch.

"Are you sure, my prince…?" the priest asked again, noticing the maids had picked the princess and had retired from the room.

Murmurs of confusion rose as everybody noticed the unconscious princess being removed while the king still cried, mumbling words about youth but apparently never noticed a thing.


"We gathered here…" I heard him going over the wedding ritual, but my blood was boiling. I felt my legs shake until they turned into rubber. It's my fucking wedding. This asshole had it planned all along! I'm gonna fucking kill him!

I don't want to marry him... Much... At all! Still my psyche warred within myself until a torturous headache declared warfare upon my body.

Okay, I don't want to marry him, period. I decided all of a sudden. I straightened, wanting to yell out something, but faking a concerned look; he guided my head towards him and trapped me within his stare. His coal eyes watched me as if he flirted with me.

Raking my body with his hot gaze, looking down, then up; for once being blatantly honest in his desire. As if he were shy.

"Do you, Rock Lee, take um… this… woman…?" Sasuke lifted a hand, not once taking his gaze from my eyes.

"Instead of woman say man. And please call me Sasuke." He stated on a strong voice that cut clearly across the room. He was past caring.

"Huh?" The priest stammered not understanding. "My prince-"

"Just do it!" The raven barked.

"Do you, Sasuke… take this m-man… to be your l-lawful w-wedded wi…wife?" the priest stammered over the words.

"I do." He replied without hesitation, his gaze never once faltering.

My hand sweated terribly within his. I noticed I was shaking. I was in a room full of strangers. Sasuke's eyes were burning intensely into mine but he never faltered and my heart soared.

"And you, umm…" he paused, when no name was forthcoming he proceeded "do you take this man to be you lawful wedded husband?"


"STOP THIS WEDDING RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" somebody opened the big doors. By the resemblance to the king, it was clear that it was the real prince. Wearing nothing but boxers, Kakashi behind him.

"Oh fuck, Sasuke what do we do?" I asked nervously, struggling to flee. Adrenalin rushed over my body and all previous concerns flew down the drain. All my ninja training returned in a rush. I must fight. I must protect.

"Say I do." Sasuke replied calmly.

"What? Dammit, my weapons are in the room-" I pulled, trying to free my hands and escape. Expert hands thwarted my every attempt, making me frustrated and angry. I needed to leave! I would do anything to leave! I need to find our weapons. We have to run away, we must defend. We must hide! They won't take us! I won't let them! I can't let them kill him! He's mine! I was unable to move and I didn't like it. Let me go, damn it!

"Say I do." a voice repeated soothingly.

"I do what?" I asked confused. A small kiss was dropped over my temple.

"Good," My captor turned towards the priest. "You may proceed."

"What-" the priest protested before Sasuke's eyes turned into twin scarlet, swirls, which trapped the priest before pressing a kunai close to the wrinkled throat. The scared crowd started to escape.

"I said, proceed."

The priest quickly started stuttering out the rest of the ceremonial speeches, since the crowd was panicking, yelling and trying to escape.

All the women were screaming, and the royals were trying to evacuate the hall all at the same time. There were ninjas everywhere; the walls, the windows and the entrance. Sasuke couldn't care less.

I panicked, gathering the ends of my Kimono, so I'd be better able to escape when the opportunity arose. 'Surely this is a ruse… this can't be a real marriage… surely…'

"Sasuke, we really don't have time for this!" I warned, watching the ninjas closing up on us. We were trapped, I realized. Kakashi cleared his throat.

The priest, valuing his life, doggedly pressed on intending to complete the whole ceremony until Sasuke pressed the kunai a bit harder into his throat.

'That got his attention all right.' I snorted, as hysteria bubbled within my chest.

"Skip to the part where we're husband and wife!" He ordered.

"Okay, okay!" The terrified man wailed. "By the powers invested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife; you may kiss the bride-!" He squeaked.

Sasuke threw him at the ninjas who reacted instinctively to protect his life and caught the shrieking mess that he'd become.

I tensed, preparing to escape through the window but to my eternal surprise, I felt him hold onto my chin. When I turned to ask, he quickly closed the distance between our faces. Oh man! Can somebody please get him off me?! I can't think! That damned asshole! Mother fucker. Bastard.

His lips felt dry on mine.

It started shyly, his lips gliding slowly over mine.

I felt a certain need in the kiss, something that tasted of desperation and loneliness. The adrenalin surge must have gone to my head, because I kissed back, tilting my head upwards. Thirsty. Greedily. I buried my hands inside his hair, relishing the feel of it in my palms. He exhaled a bit, before breaking the kiss.

I felt a sudden breeze, and opened my eyes which I never realized I'd closed in the first place.

There was smoke everywhere. We were still at the altar; he drew another kunai from his coat's pocket and gave it to me.

"Listen. You have to find Itachi and see what he's up to." He instructed me firmly.

"Are you saying Itachi's the one-" I started to ask but he interrupted me.

"I don't know. You have to continue spying on him and Sai."

"What? Sasuke-look-alike guy?" I asked in confusion.

He smirked with a nod. "Now, turn into a fox, Naru."

"What? I don't think-" I protested, having an idea of where his plan was headed.

"Turn into a fox, already." He ordered firmly. I did as he requested, used as I was to following his orders.

I sighed and eyed him nervously; surely he had some sort of plan; so it was better to do what he said.

Before I could complete my transformation, he grabbed me by the waist, opened the window and threw me out. I tumbled head over tail a few times until I slammed to a painful stop against an empty cart. I whimpered, looking dazedly around. Damn it! Now my left hind quarter's injured.


I waited patiently for the din I could hear inside to be stop. For his ugly face in the window, but it never came. I heard splintering wood and the clash of weapons, steel on steel. Finally, Kakashi came out of the Ceremony hall, face buried inside a book. He stood in the middle of the courtyard, apparently looking for a good place to read. Deciding on a likely spot, he chose an empty cart to flop over to read. After a while, he sighed.

"Ah, Naruto-kun. Where did you go? Leaving your husband all alone like that! It leaves a lot to say about your character. What will Iruka-chan say? He never taught you that! Poor man is heartbroken, cold and alone in his prison."

HE IS NOT MY HUSBAND. Well, technically, he is. But it's not like I wanted him to be! He pulled a trick on me! I fumed silently knowing better than to let his sensei to egg him into answering his taunts.

I waited under a rose bush, blocking my scent and appearance.

Kakashi looked for me for about half an hour, and would've found me if the ANBUs hadn't taken out Sasuke. His eyes were covered with a blood-limit neutralizing blindfold and his arms and legs were wrapped with chakra depleting wire.

I gasped.

That asshole.

The abusive, dumb-ass, self-centered bastard.

He'd sacrificed himself for me.

I'm gonna kill him. After I save him… I'm gonna kill him.

Tsunade was having her dinner while watching the news.

It was a habit; eating sushi next to the TV; nothing wrong with that.

She was a young woman (well, at least she felt like a young woman.), and eating food next to the television was one of the advantages of living alone.

She was just preparing to eat her seventh sushi piece when it dropped along with her chopsticks from her unexpectedly nerveless fingers.

"Now on to the Breaking News from Fire Country's wedding scandal." Her disbelieving eyes took in Sasuke standing at the altar, holding Naruto's hand. Then the camera somehow cut to Sasuke trying to kill the priest. Naruto panicking. Naruto wearing a… wedding dress? Sasuke kissing Naruto! Flinging a priest over the air? Fighting ANBU? Naruto flying over the window? Wait was that a fox tail?! Sasuke fighting embarrassingly bad before abandoning the fight and allowing himself to be held in shackles? And it was all captured on TV. Konoha's best doing its worst! Her belly heaved thinking of the political mess she would have to clean up. She was unable to hear the details the news-reporter stated over the roar of her anger, surprise and shock.

"NARUTO…!" She howled like a banshee, breaking the chopsticks in two. "Wait until I'll get my hands on you, you shitty brat!"



Me: HI!

Very sorry.

In fact, I'm so sorry, I've almost finished the next chapter and about to send it to my beta as soon as I will.

This few weeks were nothing but a blur of unhappiness, panic, stress, and exams and built up anger about biology.

I'm very sorry.


Now… now, kiddies. Next chapter is some kinky shit, come prepared. I'll just prepare here an anti-nose-bleeding kit for myself.

Here, have cookiez.