Apologies for the long hiatus, I will attempt to end this in the next couple of chapters. Thank you to those who have been faithful to it and have asked for my slack self to finish it. Hope you're all well.
Rory conceded to Luke's promptings and went in search of her mother. To have the talk that should have taken place that night after Dean, but Rory just wasn't ready. Truth was, she knew it was a conversation long overdue, as it was what began the downward spiral of distrust and uncertainty between them. Rory could clearly hear herself say 'I hate you' to her mother and seeing the look on Lorelai's face that screamed devastation. Even her dropping out of Yale and moving to her grandparent's house paled comparison to that one look that would haunt her forever. She found herself thinking about that moment more and more lately. There's nothing like the impending news that could potentially kill you at the anticipation of hearing it. But Luke was right, they needed to talk, she couldn't hide from ther her mother because she was haunted by her own demons. Rory found her mother leaning against a rock, head back, eyes closed.
"Mom, are you okay?" she asked concerned. Lorelai opened her eyes and looked at Rory with a smile on her face.
"I'm fine sweets, just sucking in as much fresh air as I can before we head back tonight. Come sit with Mommy." She said patting the space between her. As Rory sat down Lorelai wrapped her arms around her daughter and pulled her close. Without a word she held her tightly as though she was afraid to let her go.
"You are my first love Lorelai Gilmore." She whispered into Rory's ear. Rory looked up at her mother with tears in her eyes,
"And you're mine." She replied.
"All these years after everything, whoever has come and gone, that is the one thing that hasn't changed."
"So, tell me what you're thinking?" Lorelai asked as ran her fingers absently through Rory's hair. Rory shrugged and paused for a moment.
"That I wish I can tell my best friend that I won't be able to survive losing my mother. At the same time I want to tell my Mother that I'm okay. That she doesn't have to worry about me, but I can't."
"Oh honey." Lorelai said giving her a tight squeeze.
"I guess it makes it a little more complicated when your best friend is your mother huh. I know how you feel. I'm so torn between wanting to tell my best friend how scared I am to reassuring my daughter that all is going to end well." Rory looked up at her mother and smiled.
"We make some pair don't we?"
"That we do Kid."
"I know this scares you Kid, and in all honesty, it scares the living crap out of me. I don't want to die. There's still so much I want to do and see. More than that, I want to be around for every milestone of your life and Zeke's. You two are my whole life! I wish I had the guarantees, but if I've learned anything it's that there are no such things as guarantees. All I know is that I love you and Zeke with all my heart, and our family is the most important thing to me. I can only offer you a promise that I will fight to the very end."
"Thanks Mom. Thanks for telling me how you really feel. I want to be strong for the both of us."
"You already are Sweets."
When they arrived back at the house, between Luke and Emily they were all packed and ready to go home. There was a bittersweet air that lingered. They had all enjoyed their time away. In a way it was a way for all of them to escape and forget if even for a weekend that possibility of doom lay ahead. By the time they made it back to Hartford it was late, April had asked her Mother if she could stay the night and have the day off that Monday so that she would be around for when the results came in. Surprisingly she agreed
"Pizza anyone?" he asked amused looking up and seeing their faces. Lorelai grinned and placed a kiss on his cheek before washing her hands to help him. As a family they gathered and prepared their long past midnight snack. They worked in semi silence, throwing in random jokes here and there. It was well after three when Emily had put her foot down and sent everyone off to bed despite their protests. Lorelai gave her mother a grateful hug before she and Richard headed upstairs after the kids had said their goodnights.