Insight Between Black and White

She stumbles back to her house. She's aching and she's so tired and she wants -- she just wants...


Yooneun arms wrap around her, tight and hurting and Euhnyung wants to hate her again, hate her like she did when her sister wanted to take Jaehee away from her and hate her because she's pretty and kind and smart and she has everything, she is everything that she won't ever be.

But more than anything, she wants her sister to keep on holding her like this, she wants her sister to be her strength because Euhnyung is so tired. She's so tired of being scared and being used and being lied to. She's so tired of being sad.

Eunhyung doesn't hear her sister's scream as she falls unconcious.


"Man, if I got bruises like that, I think I'd die," Eunhyung hears his voice but she doesn't want to see him, so she keeps her eyes closed. "But at least they'll fade away!"

She opens her eyes finally. Naru is smiling at her even though his eyes look serious, the bangs of his wig over his eyes, as if he was some kind of model. He's holding daisies and his eyes look read.

"... what are you doing here?" she asks finally. She doesn't move to sit down, still feeling too tired to do anything.

"I heard you were sick," Naru smiles. He puts the flowers again and then he giggles some, shaking his head. "Actually, I went to your school and put a really romantic declaration for you, and when your director was chewing my head off, he told me you were in the hospital. So! I realized that you would certainly feel better, once you looked at my handsome face!"

She aches all over again. Her arm hurts but Eunhyung still pushes herself up, just enough to sit down, and then she swings her legs the other way, leaning against the night-table to stand up. It hurts to see him and it hurts twice as much that he's being dishonest. Jaehee would've lied to her, too, and that's why it's worse.

"Stop lying."

"But I'm not!" Naru says. She can't see him, but Euhnyung hears the way his chair scrapes against the floor as he stands up, and she feels him get close. She tenses a little, but he doesn't try to get too close to her, not really. "I am looking particularly handsome today, you know? It's better than any 'get well' card! I really considered about taking my picture so you'd-"

"I told you to stop lying!" Eunhyung shrills again, interrupting him. Her eyes are stinging, the telltale sign of tears already starting. "I know you like my sister, okay? And I know you didn't buy me that shirt. Stop pretending you care about me and stop pretending that you're nice."

"But I am nice!" Naru says, bewildered and then, softly, leaning against the window so that she can almost see him. "And I do care about you. Didn't you hear me? I'm in so much detention that I'll have to quit one of my part time jobs for a while."

"I heard what you said," Eunhyung mutters, angry at herself for trembling, for daring to hope. There is no hope for her, she knows this. She'll just go on and on and on, feeling sad and lonely and being no one, no one at all. "That you liked my sister."

"Oh. Well, I do! She's really pretty! And kind!" Naru says, and Eunhyung wants to hit him hard, punch that stupid grin of his face. But then it softens and Naru ducks his head, as if trying to catch her eye. "But it's not the same like. I like you, Eunhyung. Especially when you smile! You're kinda almost prettier than me when you are happy, you know?"

It hurts. It's different than realizing that Jaehee didn't love her, different than the way it hurt when she saw that Jaehee cared for that devil, that he wasn't just the sweet, kind boy she thought he was. This hope hurts and she doesn't dare turn to look at Naru, because if this is a joke she'll just shatter. She's just holding by a breath, and Eunhyung can't take this for much more.

"I really wanted to ask you out," Naru says again. He reaches, carefully, and touches her face a little, just enough that she has to turn and look at his face. "I got all scared when I heard you were in the hospital. I even had Jaehee lend me money to buy your flowers! And I forbid him to come today, too."

"... why?"

"Well, because I wanted you all for myself, obviously!" Naru answers as if it was that easy, as if he could just smile and make her whole. "D'you want to go out with me, then? When you're outta here?... and, well. Once I get some more money, though. I'm broke."

This hurts, twice all over, and Enhyung should know better than to hope, than to believe in a pair of pretty dark eyes that seem so innocent and sweet and kind... but she cannot not hope, so she only ducks her head forward, hopes that her tears won't fall and she allows herself to nod just once.

"Really? Cool! Then, do I get a kiss?"

She tenses as she feels Naru's hand cup her head for a moment.

"Okay," Naru says with a smile, backing a little without saying a thing about the way she had tensed up, the way she had been scared. "Your hand?"

"What for?" Eunhyung manages to ask, turning to look towards him. She's feeling dizzy, she realizes. When was the last time she actually ate or slept?

Naru just keeps on smiling, the bangs of his wig on his face.

"Why are you such a freak?" Euhnyung asks, hesitating a moment before she gives him her hand.

Naru beams at her, happy and silly like no-one else she knows and he brushes his lips against her knuckles, holds her hand with both of his as if it was real precious to him. As if she was someone to be treasured. Eunhyung can't help herself and she feels herself blush, feels her heartbeat go faster and faster until she thinks she might faint. She feels weak on the knees, her breathing gone fast and it's not panic this time, not panic at all.

"I got my kiss," Naru says, still beaming. He looks at her with warm, sweet brown eyes and Eunhyung feels as if she could cry. "So I'm really happy now."

She barely hears his words as her knees buckle, as he scrambles to hold her up, calling her name. The world is rushing over her and this feels different than loving Jaehee ever did, stronger and weaker and she almost believes that Naru will be there for her, that he'll do his damn best to be there when he needs her. It makes her dizzy, it makes her feel like flying or tumbling down the world and not caring, and if this is what Dai makes Jaehee feel, perhaps, perhaps she can forgive Jaehee, just a little.

Because she thinks she might get to be happy again, like this.