How's it going everyone, This muse hit me over the head and refused to leave my head. This story popped into my head after I read a fic where Suigetsu kill Kisame. I almost put my head through a wall. As my favorite character, nobody writes about him as a real character, usually he's just Itachi's side kick. So here is my response. Kisame isn't in Akatsuki. Will he join remains to be seen. As my other fic, updates will probably be few in between. So please don't send me a review saying, update now. Hope someone enjoys it.
Watch the Sharks Play
Chapter 1: A Bad Day
Kisame Hoshigaki ghosted down the long corridor. His presence undetected by the watchful guards. Despite his large frame his movements were as stealthy as a man half his size. As he came closer and closer to his target all thoughts irrelevant to his task drained from his mind like water in a sieve. Calmness engulfed his body. Ten feet, five feet, the door and the guard came nearer as he approached him. His body surged forward faster then the naked eye could see, the guard fell bonelessly to the ground his throat cut.
Quietly Kisame opened the door and stepped in. Moaning and grunting could be heard clearly from inside the room. A draped bed stood in the center of the ornate room. Two silhouettes could be seen moving in synchronization. Chuckling he removed a simple kunai from his pouch, anything more would be unnecessary.
Walking towards the bed, he threw open the drapes, the sweating bodies of the fat daimyo and a courtesan were seen staring up in horror at him. There were two screams, and then there was nothing. Kisame took one last look at the dead bodies, he snorted at the horrified looks on their non-breathing bodies before he turned and left.
As he left the scene, his thoughts turned inward. Killing daimyo's had always amused him. There was nothing like seeing men of so called quality blood dieing just as easily as everyone else, to see men of status fall to their knees, begging for their lives made his blood sing in ecstasy. Did he hold a grudge; hell yeah would be the response to that question if anyone was brave enough to ask.
Killing Daimyo was risky business, pissed off rich relatives willing to pay top dollar to have the killers hunted down and punished were usually enough to scare off most missing nin. But for a shinobi of Kisame's stature he had few things to worry about. He had always been cocky, but when he was famous for having plucked the tooth of the three tailed shark, the god of water itself, he had a good reason to be cocky.
As he gracefully sailed over the rooftops he could see chaos engulf the palace. Screams and shouts traveled from the scene of his crime as people discovered the assassination. He soon came upon the inn he had been staying at. He applied his henge and entered. The innkeeper nodded at him as he walked by. Walking up the stairs he reached his room at the end of the hallway. There was an odd scuffling noise, as if something was struggling around in his room. Smirking, Kisame wondered what idiot had set off his trap. Throwing open his door, he thundered, (quietly of course, don't want to attract to much attention), "Who the hell are you," only to blink owlishly when he realized his victim I mean guest was a child, a rather small child with painfully bright yellow hair, and a ridiculous orange jumpsuit. The boy made a sound that sounded like a cross between a constipated rat and the squeal of a fangirl, not that Kisame had made those associations since he had never seen a constipated rat or had a fangirl but you get the point.
Naruto Uzumaki was having a bad day; no it was more like a bad week. First of all some asshole villager had beat him up and left him in a refuse pile. Then he had been rejected by the love of his life, his Sakura-chan again. He had thought things were getting better when the Hokage had offered to take him to one of the Land of Fire's major cities to sign a treaty lowering tariffs on imports out of Konoha in return for cheapened price on the cities rich iron deposits, not that Naruto knew that, he had tuned out the Hokage's rather lengthy description the moment he realized they weren't saving some princess. Then he was forced to stay cooped up in a stuffy room in a palace with a couple of equally stuffy ANBU members. Soon Naruto grew bored and as many know when Naruto Uzumaki gets bored then stay the hell out of his way.
With a devious smile Naruto reached into one of his many pockets and removed several circular tools of awesomeness. With a war cry he threw them against the floor. Smoke and a terrible stink engulfed the room. The ANBU never knew what hit them. With a cry of "suckers," he was out of the room and down the hall in a flash. By the time they finally figured out what had happened Naruto was gone and had disappeared into the palace. Naruto had then led them on a merry chase around the city until the brat had disappeared. What the ANBU didn't know was that Naruto had unwittingly entered a genjutsu of concealment by a S-Class criminal. Unfortunately Naruto didn't know that either, so when he saw the ANBU fly past him without a single glance in his direction, he had thought he had gotten away scot free. It was an especially bad move on Naruto's part to enter the room that had a "do not enter" sign, but cautious wasn't in Naruto's vocabulary and so he entered the room without a care, only for everything to go black.
He woke an indeterminable amount of time later. He realized he was wrapped up in some sort of wire contraption. Irritation blossomed on his features as he struggled looking for a way to escape. Ten minutes later he was panting from the exertion of trying to escape, when the door flew open and an angry looking man entered with a shout of "who the hell are you." The stared at each other in shock for a several seconds before the man shook his head in disbelief in the situation.
Kisame couldn't believe it, some brat who couldn't have been older then seven shouldn't have been able to enter at all, the genjutsu he used had a fairly powerful aversion component to keep civilians and low leveled shinobi away. Tossing his weapons down, he heard an eep, when the bloody kunai used for the killing became visible. Cursing himself, Kisame realized he had a potential witness. Realizing that killing the child had just become necessary he grabbed the same kunai. As he turned back to the child he held the kunai up threateningly.
"You can't kill me," shouted Naruto.
"Why not," asked Kisame?
"Because I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I'm going to be the next Hokage, but especially because the Old man will kill you," answered Naruto.
Humoring the kid, Kisame asked, "Oh, who's the old man."
"He's the Hokage and he'll kick your ass," shot back Naruto now assured of his invulnerability.
"Shit, I know how to pick 'em don't I," muttered Kisame to himself. Pausing for a second he said, "Well unfortunately that makes it more critical that you die, I can't have the Hokage knowing I was here, sorry kid. You picked the wrong hotel room to enter." Naruto started to panic as his foolproof plan turned out to be somewhat less then what he had imagined. Squaring up his shoulders, Kisame raised the kunai, before throwing it at Naruto. A burst of pain shot through Naruto before everything went black.
Approaching the body, Kisame grabbed the Kunai embedded in the boy's heart and pulled it out. Turning around he wiped off the bloody kunai now stained with child, a whore, and a daimyo's blood. "All in a days work," muttered Kisame.
All of a sudden a burst of sinister chakra manifested behind him. Turning around quicker then was probably healthy, he saw the boys wound knit up quickly. "What the hell," muttered Kisame? The wound quickly disappeared, leaving only a faint scar where the kunai had pierced his skin.
"Hey you bastard, what the hell was that for," screamed Naruto, now more angry then scared.
Now really irritated Kisame grabbed the same Kunai and threw it back at Naruto's heart. Again it embedded itself in Naruto's chest. "Rinse and repeat, yeah," said Kisame. Subconsciously he was becoming alarmed at the amount of times he was talking to himself. Maybe he needed a partner or something, if only to relieve the monotony of traveling. Sitting on the bed he wondered what to do with the finally dead body. As he thought the word dead, as if some god was watching him and wanted to piss him off, the red chakra appeared again, the kunai was pushed out of Naruto's chest and his chest healed up again, although with a slightly bigger scar over his heart.
Irritated and despite himself a bit interested, he walked over to the child, ignoring the struggling and groaning, he pressed a pressure point, knocking out Naruto. Blissful silence once again engulfed the room. He then started to inspect the boy. After all it wasn't every day a small child who could evidently regenerate from near death with some sort of strange chakra. Now that he thought about it, the chakra felt demonic, almost reminiscent of the Isonade's chakra. A sinking feeling began to appear in his gut. Stripping the boy a large seal could be seen on the boys stomach.
"Yep, just as I thought," muttered Kisame. A blasted jinchurikki had stumbled upon his room. He had no idea what kind of seal it was, fuuinjutsu was a pretty obscure art, and even a ninja of Kisame's stature only knew the basics, storing items in scrolls, creating exploding notes, simple things like this. Examining the seal, he now knew why Seal Masters were so cherished; to create a seal that could trap a demon into a human was awe inspiring. He had no idea which demon it was, or if it was truly a demon, but he now had an unfortunate dilemma. The boy could fetch a pretty penny at any village; on the other hand he could be a powerful partner. With a little training the boy would grow strong enough to at least help him sleep a bit easier at night. For some reason it almost felt like he was being drawn to the boy. And it was boring to travel alone. "Fine, fine," he muttered, "I'll take him with me," After all how bad could one child be?