Playing Dress Up
Summary: Sam, having heard to commotion, reappeared. A brown wig that was slightly darker than his naturally hair color sat askew on his head. "What's going on?" He asked."Your brother refuses to come out from behind the curtain is what!" Sharla huffed. Sequel to 'It's Not the Pizza Boy' Beware of Mary Sue bashing inside (literally!)Rating: T
Disclaimer: If I really owned them would I be here?
Author's Note: So here it is, the sequel to "It's Not the Pizza Boy". I know I said I was going to write this forever ago but as usual I got sidetracked (damn ADD!). But anyways, it's done now… finally. Some parts of the plot gave me some really hard times. I wanted to make it funny and humorous to read but with a plot and characters that made sense (yes I thought about this a lot). Anyway, by the time I finished with my intended one-shot sequel I realized that my one shot was hella long. So instead I broke it up into two chapters to make it easier to read. Don't worry, the second parts done and won't take as long to get up as this sequel did…
As always, reviews are very much encouraged.
-Playing Dress Up-
The Bull Dog Bar was a dark and dirty place. On a typical Friday night it was filled with drunken bikers so bleary eyed, they couldn't tell the difference between a pair of spades and a pair of blades. Not that it would have helped them much with Dean Winchester at the table.
With a grin on his face, Dean pushed back his chair, pocketing a large wad of bills from his latest victory. He nodded farewell to his fellow poker players before strolling over to the bar for a quick drink.
"Looks like you managed pretty well back there."
Dean turned to his left, his grin widening as his eyes fell upon the girl sitting a few barstools away. She had long, dark hair and a skirt that broke more than a few state laws. "What can I say? It's a gift…" he replied grinning broadly.
The girl laughed softly. "Oh really?"
Dean nodded, leaning casually against the bar now in his attempt to look 'cool and casual'. "Yep. I always win. Guess I'm just lucky."
The girl raised an eyebrow. "And does this luck include anything other than cards?"
Dean smirked as he slid onto the stool next to her. "That depends… How's it working on you?"
"Mmmm… Pretty good…." The girl leaned in closer to Dean as he titled his head, their faces just inches apart.
The moment was broken as the scream echoed across the room. Before Dean had time to react he was knocked to the ground. He looked up dazedly to see the girl he had been seconds from kissing sprawled, unconscious on the floor. Sam towered over her a large, heavy metal shovel raised, ready to be swung again if need be.
The whole bar stared at Sam in complete shock, unsure of just how to react. The bartender opened and closed his mouth a few times as if to say something but no sound came out.
Quickly, Dean rose to his feet and grabbed his younger brother by the arm. The whole bar's eyes were on the two of them now. Dean ignored the stares. Keeping a tight grip on Sam's arm with his one hand, he grabbed his unfinished beer off of the bar with his other and dragged his younger brother out of the bar and into the parking lot.
Once outside, Dean loosened his death grip and spun around to glare at his brother. "What the hell was that Sammy?!?"
Sam stared at his brother, a look of pure innocence and disbelief on his face. "She was a Mary Sue Dean!"
"No, she wasn't…" Dean said, shaking his head. "She was just a girl. An unbelievably hot girl!"
"Dean…" Sam began.
But Dean wasn't listening. He began pacing back and forth in front of Sam, mumbling random, incoherent curses every so often. Sam couldn't catch much of what he was saying but he did hear the words 'thick headed' and 'a fucking shovel!' come out of his brother's mouth.
After ranting to himself for a few more minutes, Dean looked back at his younger brother, his temper considerably calmer but not altogether gone.
"We've talked about this Sam… I've told you a million times! You can't go around attacking every pretty girl within a five mile radius! It's not fair! Not to the girls and especially not to me!"
"Dean I was just…"
"Just what? Trying to make it so I never get laid again until I'm forty!" Dean spewed, his temper rising again. "Damn it, Sam! I can't take a vow of chastity like you!"
"I was just worried about you," Sam said quietly. He turned away from his brother to hide the hurt in his eyes at being yelled at like a five year old again.
Dean, however, saw the wounded puppy dog look and sighed, letting out some of the hot air. "Look Sam," he said a little more gently this time. "I know that whole Mary Sue thing freaked you out. Hell, it scared the shit out of me too. But it's been six months man. You've got to move on. You can't worry that every pretty face is really some evil, twisted creature sent here to maul and attack us."
Sam nodded. "I know Dean, its just scary to know that those things are out there, disguised as beautiful girls. It's enough to make me want to swear off girls all together, or at least the pretty ones."
"Hey now! Let's not do anything drastic!" Dean exclaimed. "I mean it was just one encounter. Let's not let it rule our lives."
"You're right," Sam said with a sigh.
"So… no more attacking innocently but oh so incredibly hot girls with shovels any more ok?"
Sam laughed slightly. "Ok…"
Dean smiled. He patted Sam awkwardly on the shoulder. "If there's one thing I've learned from hunting, it's not to let fear rule your life. You can't spend every moment worried about what could happen. If the Mary Sues are going to attack again, then there's nothing we can do about it right now."
"But how will we know when they attack?" Sam asked curiously.
"Trust me, Sam. We'll know."
Dean turned and started heading toward the parking lot where they had left the Impala. No sense going back to the bar tonight. After Sam's little outburst, it was best if they just get out of the area before the cops showed up.
"I think I know…"
"What?" Dean turned around. Sam stood a few yard behind him, staring off to his left, his eyes wide. Dean glanced toward where Sam was staring, his mouth practically dropping open in shock.
It was the second most terrifying thing Dean had ever seen. (The first being the time when Sam thought that lime green was the new black.) Hundreds of Mary Sues streamed out of the shadows from around the parking lot, moving slowly towards the boys. And they did not look very happy.
"Sam…" Dean whispered. "Now would be a good time to go all psycho on their asses."
"I can't…" Sam responded.
"Why the hell not?!"
"I left my shovel in the bar."
Dean groaned in frustration. He glanced to where the Impala was parked. It was a few good hundred yards away. They'd never make it.
"Alright, so here's the plan…" Dean stopped.
"Dean?" Sam asked as he eyed the approaching Mary Sues warily.
"I'm thinking!" Dean snapped.
"Well think faster!" Sam growled.
"Hey! I don't see you coming up with any ideas college boy!" Dean said as he glared as his younger brother.
"Well I would help, but last time I did you told me to wait for your cue."
"Just shut up and give me a minute, would you!"
Suddenly a light bulb went off in Dean's head. Taking the still half full beer bottle that he had been clutching since exiting the bar, Dean chugged down the last of it down and chucked the now empty bottle at the on coming Mary Sues. The bottle hit the closest Mary Sue in the head. She cried out in agony and fell to the ground. The other Mary Sues ignored their fallen comrade and trampled over her body as the continued to approach the brothers.
"Nice work Sherlock!" Sam said sarcastically. "Now what?"
"Now… we run like hell," Dean replied before taking off across the parking lot.
Sam glanced from the oncoming horde of Mary Sues to his brother's retreating figure before taking off after him. "Dean! Wait for me!"
The Mary Sues watched as the brothers took off down the parking lot. A smile spread across their faces simultaneously.
Meanwhile, the Winchester brothers had managed to escape the dangerous parking lot and were now running down the street as fast as they could.
"Dean?" Sam asked through gasping breaths. "How long are we going to run?"
"Until we put a few good states and maybe a body of water between us and those things," Dean replied.
Sam was silent for a moment as he processed this information.
"How about a few good blocks and a street light?"
"That'll have to do…" Dean said and he slowed to a stop, panting slightly.
Sam stopped next to his brother, glancing over his shoulder every so often to make sure that they weren't still being pursued.
"I don't get it…" Dean said, once he had caught his breath. "We came across those things in Georgia before. How the hell did they get all the way out here in Montana?!"
"They must have been tracking us since we left," Sam replied, his eyes still scanning the street for any sign of the oncoming Mary Sues.
"Great!" Dean muttered to himself. "This is just great! What the hell are we supposed to do?"
"Um… Keep running?" Sam suggested.
"Like hell I'm running anymore!" Dean exclaimed, suddenly gaining back his soldier like persona. "I just ran more than I ever did my entire high school days! I refuse to run a step further! Running is for cowards and damn it! I'm not a coward!"
"You might want to rethink your decision," Sam suggested.
As he spoke, the sight of a large crowd appeared on the horizon, steadily growing larger and closer. The boys watched it, somewhat in awe.
"Shit! How the hell did those things catch up with us so fast?" Dean exclaimed. He had to give them some credit. Those things were damn good trackers.
"Well they are Mary Sues, capable of everything and anything that a writer can cook up to seduce the heroes of a book, TV show, or movie," Sam replied. "For us that would mean that these Mary Sues would be well trained, killing machines on top of being devastatingly beautiful."
Dean looked at his brother with a completely baffled look on his face. "What?"
Sam sighed. "Never mind. We need to figure out a way to stop them and fast."
"Thank you Captain Obvious! Got any more bright idea to share?" Dean scanned the street for something to use as a weapon. Strangely, there seemed to be nothing in sight.
"Damn it!" he growled. "A pack of fan crazed Mary Sues, hot on our heels and not a thing to defend myself with!"
"What we need is some time…" Sam said, more to himself than to his brother. "We need a place to hide out and plan our next move… someplace that they would never think to look for us at."
"And just where is that, oh genius one?" Dean replied sarcastically.
An hour later the boys were huddled in the back corner of Terry's, a small drag club that you wouldn't even know existed unless you were actually looking for it.
"I don't even wanna know which one of these guys is Terry," Dean said as he eyed the crowd of older men dressed up in shiny heels and over the top wigs.
After much running and backtracking (including the harrowing escape over a rather large fence) the boys had finally managed to escape their pursuers… at least for the time being anyway.
"Well you have to admit… They'll never think to look for us here." Sam replied.
"You can say that again. How did you even know this place existed?" Dean said, eyeing his brother thoughtfully.
Sam ignored his brother's question. Instead he pulled out John's journal and began to flip through. "We need to figure out our next move. Find out a way to stop these Mary Sues from coming after us once and for all."
"Oh sure… just look up "Hot But Fatal Females' in Dad's journal. I'm sure it's there right between 'Zombies that Eat Your Flesh' and 'How to Kill a Vampire Without Chipping a Nail'."
Sam glared across the booth at his brother. "Your sarcasm is not helpful you know."
"No… but it helps to ease the tension of the moment wouldn't you say?"
"Be serious for once Dean."
Dean sighed, running a hand through his already messed up hair. "Honestly Sam… I don't have the slightest idea what the fuck we should do."
"So that's it?" Sam asked astonished. "We just sit back and let them get us? We're not even going to try?"
"Try what Sam? Try and fight them off? Try and stop them? For how long? We tried to stop them last time and we barely got out alive. Even if we manage to leave this town without them getting us, it will just be a matter of time before they find us again! So unless you have some well planned genius boy move cooking in that head of yours, I say its time we throw in the towel."
Dean sat back in the booth as Sam stared at him in shock. Dean was giving up… Dean never gave up. He was always ready to fight till the end and now he just wanted to throw in the towel? He stared at his brother in disbelief, unable to help the feeling that he had somehow been let down. At that moment the waitress appeared. She was tall and muscular with a bright red wig set into ringlets and a heavily applied eye shadow. The name tag pinned to her read 'Sharla'. She smiled at the boys, leaning onto the table in what he was sure was meant to be a seductive manner.
"Hiya dolls! What will it be?" If the unnaturally muscular build and adam's apple bobbing in her throat hadn't already tipped them off, her deep voice would have been a dead give away.
"Whatever's your strongest liqueur… that's what I want. Only make it a double," Dean said.
"Dean!" Sam exclaimed.
"What?" Dean glared at his younger brother. "Face it Sammy, we're screwed. And if I'm going out then I'm gonna go out smashed! Now the question is… what are you going to do?"
Sam sighed. He hated to admit it but Dean was right. The Mary Sues were unbeatable and it seemed impossible that they would be able to outrun them forever.
"Make that two," he said finally to the waitress.
Dean smirked at him. "That a boy Sammy!"
Sam wasn't sure what was in the green liquid that Sharla set down before them but after four shots he really didn't care anymore. A stage show had started somewhere between his third shot and his fourth and he leaned back against the booth to watch it. Currently a girl was lip singing to Shakira and shaking her hips across the floor.
He glanced across the booth at Dean, who was practically sprawled out on the booth. He smirked at Sam when he saw him looking over at him.
"How ya doing Sammy?" Dean called, perhaps a bit louder than he needed to.
"Good…" Sam said with a grin. "I've almost completely forgotten about the…"
"Shhh!" Dean said suddenly, putting a finger to his own lips. "No talk of evil beasties while we're drinking. Especially those things… I swear they're worse than a pack of werewolves."
Sam shot up suddenly. "Dean! That's it!"
"What?" Dean squinted at his brother. Confused just what it was he had said that triggered such a response.
"How do you kill a werewolf?"
"Easy, you shoot it in the heart with a silver bullet Sammy. But these things aren't werewolves… they're freakin' Mary Sues!"
"But if you kill the leader of a pack of werewolves you destroy the whole pack…"
Dean sat up slowly, the alcohol still affecting his reaction time. "So if we kill the leader of the Mary Sues we destroy them all?"
Sam nodded his head eagerly.
"Just one problem Sammy… even if the Mary Sues have a leader, and we're not even positive they do… just how are we supposed to pick her out from the bunch? It's not like we can ask them nicely."
"We just have to sneak up on them and figure it out. Won't be too hard being the leader will be giving orders on what to do."
"And just how do you propose we infiltrate the pack? Not to be a realist or anything here but don't you think they're going to notice when we walk in without the right parts for the gig?"
Sam glanced around the room, his eyes landing back on the stage where the dancers were now doing their rendition of Lady Marmalade. He smiled. "Not if we play a little game of dress up…"
Dean turned to follow his brother's line of vision. He froze and it dawned on him just what Sam meant.
"Oh hell no…"
Author's Note: And so ends Part 1! Part 2 will be up within a few short days (I promise!). In the meantime, if you're looking for something else to read, go check out my multi-chapter HP story 'Borrowed Hearts'.
Oh, and don't forget to review here either!