Broken Promises, Uncovered Secrets
Broken Promises, Uncovered Secrets.
Summary. . . . . . Things have been tough for Sam in the years following his abuse at the hands of the Burton's, but one thing has always remained a constant, his family. Words expressed in anger and fear though have taken even that security away from him. Now someone knows his deepest secrets and Sam's having to deal with it all alone. Sequel to Months To Rebuild, Seconds To Destroy. Mentions of Sam's rape and abuse.
Disclaimer. . . . . . Not mine never will be. Boo Hoo! Mistakes they're mine, and mine alone.
A.N. . . . . . Well here it is the finale of this fic. I would like to take this opportunity to thank every one for reading and reviewing, I hope you're not too disappointed with how it ends. Just a few mentions before I let you get to the good stuff;
Thank you so much to darksupernatural for her help, advice and hard pushes to get me writing again; also to sammygirl1963 who desperately wanted this sequel, I hope it turned out to be what you wanted; lastly to the Linzey an anonymous reviewer who gave me a slight heart attack and a bit of a laugh when she informed me that Jared's mom is called Sherri, sorry didn't know! Whoops!
Dean cursed himself for his stupidity, why had he shouted out like that? He'd just warned Joe that he was nearby, that he was close to rescuing Sam; or close to avenging his death. He shook his head to clear those thoughts away and pushed his negative feelings aside, the shot could have been a warning, the shot could have missed in the dark, the shot could even have come from Sam, or maybe it was Caleb's gun? Dean hadn't come across the older hunter yet. Turning back around to face the way the sound had come from, Dean was faced yet again by the uncertainty of which route to take, grimly laughing at the fact that he only had three tunnels to choose from this time.
Bending down he picked up his fallen flashlight and once again began panning it around, taking his time this time as he searched for clues to make the decision easier. A sickening feeling rose in his stomach as his light finally picked up the trail of blood drops leading to the tunnel nearest the room. Turning the light off, Dean rechecked the safety was off his gun as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the gloom. Still not knowing what had happened up ahead he would have to go in blind, and hope for the best and an element of surprise. Placing his free hand against the cold stone wall for guidance, Dean slowly, cautiously, quietly began to move forward towards his much loved younger brother, praying, hoping that he wasn't too late.
He slowed down and tried to calm his breathing as he started to hear noises up ahead of him, his ears straining to make out the owners, but it was no use the tones too low. Creeping forward even more stealthily now, Dean was so concentrated on trying to make as little noise as possible, he jumped when one of the voices spoke out seemingly just in front of his face.
"I thought you called yourself a hunter? I could hear you coming a mile away. I'll have to have a word with your daddy about getting you some extra training. Get your arse in here Dean; I'm getting cold waiting for you to arrive."
"Who else, brother?"
"Sam? Is Sam okay?" Dean rushed out the questions almost as quickly as he rushed the last few yards to the bend in the tunnel. "Caleb, answer me dammit."
As he was about to round the bend, Dean was stopped short by Caleb's strong arms. "Dean wait a minute, don't go rushing in there and making the situation even worse."
Dean tried to push past Caleb, wanting, needing to catch sight of Sam, to see with his own eyes that Sam was okay, that Sam was alive. "Caleb! God damn it, let me go!"
"Dean will you just for once listen to me? If you go rushing in there, you're gonna make things worse, believe me."
"Is Sam okay? Is he alive?"
"Alive, yes. Okay, not so much."
Caleb moved to the side slightly and finally allowed Dean to see past him and catch a glimpse of the flashlight illuminated dead end. Dean took in the sight of a prone and unconscious Joe, blood blossoming on the shoulder of his shirt from the flesh wound Caleb had inflicted, his face beginning to bruise from where the butt end of Caleb's gun had struck the boy sending him, for now, into blessed oblivion. Dean could feel his fury rise at the kid, could feel his mind fill with the need to inflict his own pain on the boy for what he had done to Sam, but that anger was quashed as his eyes finally moved past Joe and settled on his younger sibling. Dean's heart sank; his tears flowed in earnest as for the third time in his life he looked down on a bruised, bloodied, broken Sam.
Sam was a mess, mentally and physically. Looking closer Dean could see the evidence of Joe's blows to Sam's stomach as the bruises fanned out, vivid and cruel looking. He also noted the swelling and darkness that had begun to take hold of what he ascertained to be a broken foot. Clad only in his boxers Sam sat cowering at the bottom of a pile of rubble, his legs bent and pulled up to his chest, one arm wrapped tightly around them, whilst the other was placed between his thighs and chest, his head tucked protectively against his knees, his bangs hiding his features from sight, as he rocked back and forth, shivers wracking his painfully thin body; whether from cold, shock, fear, or a combination, Dean didn't know. Alls he did know, because he recognized the signs, was that Sam was shutting down, retreating into that secure place in his own mind, a place where he felt safe.
"No! No! No!" Dean yelled out as he tried to lunge out of Caleb's arms once again. Turning his attention to the still unconscious Joe, he added. "You bastard! I swear I'm going to kill you for this, you son of a bitch!"
"Have you quite finished? Do you really think that this ranting is helping Sam right about now? Do you? Cause I gotta tell you I think you're wrong, so if you want to carry on, go and do it somewhere else." Caleb watched as Dean's anger deflated before him once more, watched as the younger man took a deep breath before asking.
"Let me go Caleb, let me go to Sam."
Dean looked up in astonishment at Caleb's refusal. "No? No? Why? Why can't I go to him? I'm calm now, I'm okay."
"Dean, Sam's not there right now, he's confused and. . . . . ."
"All the more reason for me to be with him."
"Dean, he wouldn't let me near him."
"I'm not you Caleb, I'm his brother!"
Caleb ignored the slight; he had over the years become just that to Sam. "Dean, he has a knife placed against his throat. He thinks he's still in danger, he thinks we're. . . . . he thinks we're gonna. . . . . do that to him again and he's prepared to die first."
"He'll know it's me Caleb. I can make him snap out of it. He'll let me in, I just know it."
"I'm sorry Dean, but I don't think he will. He was mumbling before, most of it was nonsense but I could make out some of it."
"And? What was he saying?"
Caleb paused before answering, knowing that he was about to crush his friend, his brother all the more. "He said. . . . he said, Dean lied to me; also something about it not being her. I think he's remembered everything that happened the second time. I think he knows about Lesley and the guys."
Caleb's instincts were right; he watched as the severity of his words hit Dean hard and crushed the once proud man all the more. A sense of pride for the younger man rose up in Caleb though as he watched him recover slightly and speak up in a quiet, sorrow filled voice.
"I have to try, Caleb. I have to try and at least make amends, to make him see that I never meant to hurt him that I just wanted to save him from more pain. Please let me try, please let me go to him."
Caleb could feel the sting of tears in his own eyes. Glancing away from Dean, he looked towards Sam, the one person in his lifetime who had always been able to break through, and into his heart of stone. In the past he would have put his life savings on the fact that Dean would be the one to make Sam recover, this time though he wasn't too sure. In Sam's eyes his trust had been broken by the person, by the people, he held dearest to him; a trust that after everything he had been through, after everything that had happened to him, he held onto for dear life. This time, Caleb felt, Dean would fail.
"Okay." He eventually relinquished. "I have to let you try, but if he starts getting upset, or looks as though he's gonna do something stupid like hurt himself, then I will pull you back. I mean it Dean! At the moment Sam's my only concern."
"Okay! Okay!" Dean replied as he pushed past Caleb, the older man relenting this time and allowing Dean to go. Dean hesitated once the restraint had gone though, familiar doubts rearing their heads once more. Could he do this again? Could he bring Sam back from the brink once again? He steeled himself before continuing, he had to be able to, he had no choice, Sam deserved to live a good life, a life free from demons. Inching slowly, stealthily along Dean crept closer to his brother, trying desperately to avoid any sudden movements, holding even his breathing in check in an attempt to make no noise. Once close enough, but still not crowding Sam, Dean spoke up.
"Sam? Sammy? It's okay now bro, you're safe. You're safe." When he got no answer Dean tried again. Sam? Sammy? Please look at me? Please let me know that you're okay? Please just let me in? Please let me check you over?"
This time he reached forward, just wanting Sam to know he was there, just wanting Sam to feel a familiar touch, thinking that maybe Sam was too far gone to realize he was there, to realize he was safe. His fingers were mere centimeters away when Sam's voice finally sounded out, making Dean realize that maybe his brother wasn't as far gone as he thought, the tone scaring the older brother. A tone that wasn't what he had expected, that wasn't scared and sad and defeated; but was filled with anger and hurt and accusations and dripping with venom.
"Why Dean? Why did you lie to me?"
Sam looked up to Dean as he spoke, making the older brother's breath catch in his throat, not just from the anger and hurt that clouded Sam's eyes, not even from the cuts and bruising that littered his face, but from the precariously place knife that was already piercing the soft flesh of Sam's neck.
"Sammy, please put the knife down, please I didn't lie to you Sam."
"You let me believe it was all S. . . . Sh. . . . . her fault! You let me believe there was no one else. You lied to me Dean, to me! I'm your brother and you lied. I trusted you and you betrayed me."
"No Sam, please It wasn't like that. What good would it have done if I had told you what really happened? I did what I thought was best Sam."
"Best for whom, Dean? You? Dad? Me? Well look how your best turned out. Go away Dean."
"Go away, Dean!"
"Sam. . . . . ."
"Leave me the hell alone, Dean! Just go away, please."
"No Sam! I'm not gonna leave you here like this."
"Fine! Then I'll leave you here." Sam struggled to feet, nearly falling straight back down as blood loss, exhaustion and his broken foot all complained in protest. Still he brushed off Dean's concerned support, choosing instead to lean heavily on the wall.
"Sam?" It was Caleb's voice that spoke up this time. "At least let us help you out of here and to a hospital. If you still want to be alone afterwards, so be it." Caleb ignored Dean's furious gaze, keeping his attention firmly fixed Sam's way.
"Did you know?" Sam waited for an answer, when he didn't receive one he carried on. "Does everybody else know? Dad? Jim? Josh? George?" The silence was all the answer that he needed. "Get out of my way! Leave me the hell alone. I don't need you. I don't need any of you."
"Samuel Winchester!" John's voice boomed out in the confined space, making Sam flinch involuntarily, his anger diminishing as quickly as it had arrived, the need to get out of there increasing.
"Please just let me leave. Please just leave me alone."
It was the next voice that crumpled Sam's resolve, which sent him crashing back down to the floor and retreating once more to his safe place.
"Sam?" Jess' soft voice whispered out.
"You told her? You told her?" Sam couldn't bear to look at the woman he loved dearly, couldn't bear to see the disgust he knew would be evident in her eyes, or even worse to see pity there. He cringed as he heard her step towards him, flinched as she touched his bare arm, tried to push her away as she took him in her arms, broke down and sobbed as she crooned words of encouragement and reassurance. Leaving the two alone, George and John took care of Joe, as Caleb left to get Sam some clothes. Dean refused to leave standing a few feet away, trying in his own way to give Sam the space he wanted.
As Sam was taken to hospital he refused to look or talk to anyone but Jess.
When he was released and brought back to his dorm, he would still only respond to her.
And so it went on, as the days turned to weeks, the weeks into a month, no matter what Dean, or his Dad, or Caleb, or George would say or do, Sam wouldn't give them the time of day. The others left as hunts began to need attention, leaving Dean the last one there, until one morning even he got a call requesting his presence for a particularly bad hunt. Before leaving he searched Sam out, finding him sitting staring aimlessly into space, under his tree. Dean sat down quietly beside him, pleased that for once when Sam didn't immediately get up and walk away, and seemed for once to be ready to listen.
"I'm sorry Sam. I'm sorry that I never put you straight on what happened back then, but I never lied to you. I thought that by staying quiet I could stop you from being hurt all the more. I was wrong, and for that I am truly sorry. I hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me and we can get back what we had. I love you little brother, always remember that. I'm going to give you the space that you wanted; the time that you needed, but please remember I'm only a phone call away." Leaning over he placed a quick kiss onto Sam's unruly bangs. "I love you Sammy, forgive me?"
Getting up he walked away without looking back, not seeing the tears that began to run freely down Sam's face. As he got into the Impala and drove away, Dean finally looked back and watched as Stanford got smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror; little knowing it would be two years until he saw both it and Sam again.
"In two years, I've never bothered you, never asked you for a thing. I can't do this alone."
"Yes you can."
"Yeah, but I don't want to." The pilot.
A.N. . . . . . Well I hope it turned out how you thought? I have a feeling that some of you will be after blood because of the ending, feel free to let me know what you think, you never know I could go back in and change it! Thanks again for reading, will catch you all with a new fic soon, Peanut x