Making a Home
This is a complete departure from what I'm writing at present with Escaping Sol, but I've always been interested in Carlisle and Esme. So, I hope you'll enjoy this story!
There isn't really a beta for this one. I'll update with changes as soon as I'm able. I hope you enjoy this story.
I don't own Twilight, or Carlisle. He's bringing sexy back: )
I ran close to the cliffs at night. Mostly it was because no one would spot me if I ran quickly, but I enjoyed the salt spray in the air and the sounds of the water hitting the rocky shore. I always wondered what the ocean would be like as a human. I had not visited the vast teeming blue until I was already in my new existence and even then it was not to experience the ocean. I had been there on the errand of self destruction. Obviously, I failed.
The moon was already high in the sky as I ran back from my late night house call. I had insisted to the couple that my home wasn't far, and that I could walk, that I loved to walk. They had already been thankful enough for my visit to their small sick child that I was quickly allowed the lie. The little girl, Milly, was sick with a strain of streptococcal inflammation of the heart, and I only had a little hope for her recovery. She had been misdiagnosed early in the illness, and now she was at the very cusp of death. I felt horrible that she was suffering so, and that I could not relieve her from it. I doubted very highly that she would live too much longer.
I was brought out of my musings when I realized there was a shadow on the cliffs about a mile ahead of me and I slowed down to make myself less obvious. A dress fluttering in the wind from the surf, there was someone here with me…a woman. Her demeanor was one of someone who was in pain, and I wondered if there was anything that I could do. I heard gasping sobs and the repetition of a name. Then she clutched her shoulders as if she were holding herself together and in two quick steps she was throwing herself over the cliff face. If I had but known she were going to end her life I would have run faster, not slowed down.
I pushed myself to run faster. Edward, my new companion, was quick and agile in ways that I would never achieve. At first I had written it off to being a newborn, but after the year was up he was still quicker. He was also able to hear the thoughts of people around him. He would have been more useful in this situation than I. He could have heard her intensions and would have been more quick to help. The only way I was of more use was to heal her if she were to perhaps survive the fall. Looking at the distance I was filled with doubt for that outcome.
I descended the side of the cliff quickly and saw the jagged rocks at the bottom and her broken body. Legs sprawled out at awkward angles her blood leaking from wounds that were probably too horrible even for me to fix. As I came close to her a wave came up and nearly swept her body away and I grabbed her from the water and as gently as possible scaled the cliff face. I was afraid to jostle her at all; she seemed so fragile there in her last moments. Maybe it would have been more safe for me to let the waves take her? Certainly I would never be able to explain the retrieval of a human from such a precarious position. Edward would question my sanity. He often told me that my gift must be compassion, because I was constantly putting myself out to help others. Perhaps he was right, but this poor woman was beginning to cough up blood and I felt sorry for her.
Finally I was able to lay her on the grass above the cliffs. Her hair had tangled about her face and I moved it away so that I could read her last rites. My father had been a man of God. I wanted her to get every shot at heaven that she could, even if she had committed suicide. If I could believe in a heaven for me, I could certainly have hope for this poor misguided creature. I was not prepared for what, or should I say whom, I was faced with.
"Esme…" Her light chestnut hair was just as I had remembered it. The fall hadn't taken away her beauty…and I was staggered by her presence. "Esme, what have you done?" She was exactly as I remembered, only more womanly now than when I had met her. Columbus, Ohio. She had fallen out of a tree and broken her leg. I had set, and mended the bone for her, and she had always looked at me with a beautiful smile. I was not ignorant of my preternatural looks, but Esme had even at the time of her fall looked at me not with lust, but care. She had been sweet and made jokes about how she was a tomboy. When I asked her why she had fallen from the tree she had said that she was probably putting on weight and smiled shyly, enchantingly, at me.
I was only in town on my way to start practicing in Chicago, and so I had only a few short weeks with the girl that was even now dying before me. She was the one who had fallen out of the tree…but I had fallen in love. She was only sixteen though, and she had so much ahead of her, and was in no danger of death, so there was no question in my mind about my leaving her alone. I had been interested in a companion to my solitary life, but this young girl with the vibrant eyes and beautiful smile could never be it. When I told her I was going to be leaving she took my hand and smiled sweetly. "If you are ever here again come and see me. I know it's going to be a long time before I get better, but I would like to dance with you. See, don't tell anyone, but I think I'm in love with you." She immediately blushed crimson and gave me a small kiss on the cheek.
I had never felt so completely and utterly like a young man in spite of two hundred years. She was beautiful and kind and she didn't show the normal human propensity toward being wary of us. Looking at her now, her heart slowing down, and her blood leaking everywhere I felt horrified and sad beyond measure. "Oh, Esme. Why did you jump? What lead to this? I had been certain I was leaving you to a long full life. Esme, what happened?"
She shuddered slightly as I placed my suit coat over her body and her eyes opened just enough for me to see all the pain and confusion held in their depths. Her hand reached up for mine and I could see her straining against the effort. I didn't take it because I feared my strength might hurt her further while I was so emotional, what if I were to break her hand in my grief? Esme's voice was scratchy and destroyed as she said what I knew would be her last words. "I remember…Angel." Her hand fell limply to the side, and she fell into unconsciousness immediately. I listened as her heart continued to slow, ever bringing the end of her life closer.
My heart felt like it was tearing in two. I tried so hard to be clinical, to be professional, and uncaring. Esme was dying, and there was nothing to be done for it. She deserved human peace, but what if she didn't get it? What if my father was correct and those who committed this kind of act were damned? What if beautiful, smiling, lovely, Esme were going to burn for eternity, and if she were did that mean that it would be better for me to have her? Was I being selfish now that I had a chance to love her like I'd wished that I could? Had my success with turning Edward made me too bold? I had even learned from his turning and had a theory that using my knowledge of medicine I could make the transformation less painful.
Would she resent me for making her a monster like Edward did sometimes? He never said as much aloud, but there were times that I knew his mind as if I were the mind reader. "Esme…I'm so confused. Please, Lord, tell me what I should do!" I looked up at the heavens and there was no answer for me until I felt her small hand grip mine. Her skin was smooth and warm. Her strength was negligible, like a broken bird. My crushed Venus. She didn't move or speak, but I felt her connection to me. I felt her saying silently that I could have her…that she might still "be falling in love with me." Maybe this too was God's work? How could this possibly be happenstance? This girl that I had developed an attachment to so quickly and from so far away was dying in my arms here.
My decision was made. I descended to her throat and broke the skin there with no effort. Her body made a pathetic arch against the painful intrusion of the venom. Her blood felt glorious on my lips and despite how fulfilling it was I was careful. I knew there wasn't enough blood left in her body, and I found that I desperately didn't want to fail. I took up her arms and bit at the artery near her armpit and again on the other side and then I sat back and watched as she began to feel the pain of the venom instead of the pain of her fall. I felt a mix of emotions, both sad and elated, proud and incredibly disappointed in myself. Had I done this to Esme for myself or for her? Had I really just created another creature for my comfort? Edward was going to be absolutely furious.
I picked Esme up from the ground and began to run as fast as I could. The scenery streaked by as I held her broken body close in my arms. The young woman was already becoming restless, and I knew from experience that the screaming would start very soon. Fortunately I was only minutes from home, and as I came up the stairs Edward was there to meet me with a question waiting for me. "Carlisle, what in the name of God were you thinking?" He looked at me as a son would to a father, but sometimes our equality seemed to leak through. It was especially evident in the midst of moral debate.
"Esme jumped from the cliffs. I couldn't just let her die." I spoke passionately as I walked past Edward and into the house. He was closing the door just as her screams started. I clutched her to me as the anguished cries caused the room to slightly vibrate with sound. Edward, reading my thoughts, walked ahead of me again and opened the door to the basement. It wasn't plush, but it would have to do unless we wanted people asking about the constant wailing coming from Esme's lips.
Edward began to take out linens for a metal framed bed that we kept in the basement. It had been witness to my son's transformation, and now that the cot was made it would be Esme's first bed as well. I crouched next to the mattress and held her hand and we sat in relative silence. There were no sounds but of Esme's harsh screams and that of Edward's tapping fingers. 'What would you have done?' I spoke in my mind trying not to break the silence as I watched Esme and traced a hand over her face to move her hair from her mouth.
"I don't know. I…just think this is wrong. You know what I feel. We've discussed this at length. Do you think she'll be happy in this life? What drew her to jump and do you honestly think that's going to get better now that she's here with us? Carlisle…I…have to hunt. There's too much human blood in this house. It's driving me to distraction." Edward admitted, tromping up the stairs and out of the basement and I was left alone with the thrashing screaming Esme.