A/N: Hi peoples! This is my new story, I just thought of like…an hour ago. I, right now am review high. I. Can't Believe. how many reviews you guys gave me for the Anagram Proposal, and the 2nd chapter of 'Infilrating Neji Hyuuga'. So thank you thank you thank you. The only reason I'm posting this is because of your support. I love you people! Also...there is quite a bit of colorful language in this chapter...
Summary: Temari loved her job, but these couples were so screwed up, they were almost beyond help. Almost. SasuSaku. NaruHina. NejiTen. Gaara…plant/vacuum?
Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.
Counseling. In progess.
"Please sit down." Temari said. Sasuke and Sakura immediately separated and took seats far apart from each other. Temari winced, she could literally feel the deadly waves discharging from their glares.
Temari cleared her throat.
"Hello, umm, welcome to Counseling of the Sand." she said, smiling. "I'm Temari, head supervisor of the firm. Let's start off with how long you've been married." she instructed. Sasuke sent one last glare across the room and spoke.
"Tch…I don't even want to be here." Sakura frowned.
"Well fine Sasuke, leave!"
"You'd just make me sleep on that pink couch again."
Temari cleared her throat again and sighed.
She could tell already. This was about to be a long session.
After about an hour, she managed to pry out of the feuding couple that they've been married for six months and where the problem laid.
"Well…" Sakura stated. "It all started when he invited Neji Hyuuga and his bitch of a wife, Tenten over our house yesterday.
"Oh Jesus, here we go again…"
The doorbell of the Uchiha mansion rung, and Sasuke opened the door to his Hyuuga friends.
"Hey you guys. Please, come in and sit down."
The couple nodded and sat in the large family room where the TV and radio were on. Neji and Tenten handed Sasuke their coats.
"So Sasuke, how's the married life going?" asked Tenten.
"Pretty good actually."
Tenten looked around. "Where's Sakura?" Sasuke yawned.
"She's working a late shift at the hospital. Anyways Hyuuga, let's get started…"
Sasuke turned the TV to Auxiliary one and got everything ready.
"We settle this the prodigy way. Are you sure you're ready Uchiha?" asked Neji, tying his hair back. Sasuke just smirked.
"I was born ready."
"You speak big words. Hopefully you have the moves to back it up."
"Hmph. This won't go down like last time Hyuuga. I hope your senses have sharpened. I'll be going all out." Neji sneered.
"Ha. I'm a Hyuuga, the last thing you should be worried about is my senses. You'd do better to worry about your own."
"Bring the heat."
"Don't worry. It. Will. Be. Brought."
They both stepped on 'X'.
"IT'S DANCE DANCE REVOULTION! LET'S D.D.R.! SELECT YOUR STYLE!"
"So you mean to tell me…you DDR'ed to the death? No fighting or anything?" asked Temari, taking notes. Sasuke nodded.
"Well besides that being…um…unethical…what's the problem?"
"There wasn't a problem until Sakura came home!"
"Don't you dare try to blame this on me!"
"Sasuke-kun! I'm home early!" yelled Sakura as she angrily hung her coat up. Tsunade released her from the hospital since she was screwing up so badly; she almost lost a patient because the execution of her medical jutsu's weren't correct. Sakura was mad at herself more than anything, she hated to fail.
"Sasuke! Are you here?" There was stomping in the living room. What the hell…
"Sakura! I'm a little---DAMN FREEZE ARROW!---busy!"
"What's going---what the—" She frowned as she entered the family room. Sasuke and Neji were…dancing?
"Oh, hey Sakura!" said Tenten. Sakura jumped, not knowing Tenten was here as well.
"Umm…hey Tenten. What are they doing?"
"Nothing special, just DDR-ing." Sakura frowned.
Tenten shrugged. "Cause that just the way prodigies do things I guess…" said Sakura scratched her head, not seeing the connection between dancing video games and being a genius. Psh. Whatever.
"Well I'll get dinner started." she said, putting an apron over her hospital scrubs. Sakura was tired and wanted nothing more than to sleep, but since they had guests over…
She thought she'd be flattering, and cook a recipe Tenten herself lent; The Fruit/Yogurt/Egg and Cheese Salad. It was easy to prepare and delicious.
Fifteen minutes later…
"Guys! It's time to come eat!" yelled Sakura from the kitchen. The prodigies came from the family room and sat down with their wives. Sakura passed the bowl around.
"Wow Sakura! You made this really well…except you forgot the salt." said Tenten. "But no biggie, it's a common mistake…"
"Well, you never wrote down 'salt' on the recipe, so I didn't add it…" said Sakura, frowning.
"Haha. How could I forget my own recipe! You probably just over looked it."
"No you just didn't add it." said Sakura irritably.
"Oh Haruno calm down, stop being so childish…"
"Childish? You want to know what's childish? Your husband cheating my Sasuke just now! He was totally using the Byagukan on those 10-footers!" exclaimed Sakura, her bad mood surfacing further. Tenten rolled her eyes.
"Oh PLEASE! Sasuke was using the Sharingan the WHOLE TIME!---"
"Can we be excused?" interrupted Sasuke. Tenten and Sakura were occupied in their staring (glaring) contest and didn't answer.
"I'll take that as a yes. Come on Neji, let's go." continued Sasuke. "This is about to get really ugly, really fast. And I have a new unlocked song I wish to show you…." Neji nodded and left.
"You've got some nerve!" cried Sakura. "Coming in MY house talking to me in such way, you no-screen-time-getting whore!"
"This is SASUKE'S house so I can do as I please you desperate-pink-haired idiot!"
"At least I've had a LAST NAME my whole life!"
"At least I've been an USEFUL KUNOICHI my whole life!" exclaimed Tenten. "What were you doing before team 7 broke up? Running around and screaming in circles like a fucking pansy!"
"Well, I can beat your ass!" shouted Sakura. "My strength rivals that of Tsunade HERSELF! I'd screw you up so bad, not even she could heal you!"
"You expect me to be scared of your MANLY MUSCLES? That's just disgusting. And at any rate, one kunai from me to you would be your death. Unlike SOME PEOPLE, I never miss a target!"
"WOW! You throw KNIVES at people!!! Whoope-dee-fucking-doo!"
"Screw you! NEJI! We're LEAVING!" yelled Tenten. A few minutes later a sad looking Neji came out the living room with Sasuke behind him.
"Your place next time Neji." said Sasuke, shaking his head.
"Obviously. Same time?"
"Yes. And I'll bring the Cheetos and Capri-suns as well."
"I prefer the hot-and-spicy kind if you don't mind."
"See you next week."
"Excellent." He and Neji shook hands, and Sasuke retreated to the back of the house.
The Hyuuga's got their coats and started to exit.
"Anal-giving whore…" muttered Tenten not-so-quietly, walking out onto the porch.
"Cunt-faced wipe…" replied Sakura.
She slammed the door behind them.
"SASUKE! Get you chicken-haired ass out here right now!" Reluctant footsteps came from their bed room.
"Don't you 'hn' me. WHY did you invite the Hyuuga's over without telling me?! And WHY didn't you back me up at dinner! You just bailed with Neji!" she shouted. Sasuke frowned.
"You were at work so I couldn't get in touch with you. And you've been doing stuff without telling me too!"
"Oh yeah! Like what?"
"How about PAINTING OUR HOUSE PINK WITHOUT EVEN ASKING!"
"You said you liked the color pink…"
"Yeah. On you!"
"Don't try to change the subject! You never answered my question!"
"Why should I? I didn't even do anything wrong!"
"Ugh!" Sakura stormed off to their bedroom and Sasuke heard a silent 'click'.
"IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING, YOU ARE NOT SLEEPING ON THE SAME BED AS ME, SINCE YOU'D PROBABLY DIE BECAUSE OUR COMFORTER IS PINK!" shrieked Sakura though the door. Sasuke sighed.
Damnit…that couch was uncomfortable…
"Oh. I see now. Hmm..."
"So what should we do?" asked Sasuke. "I mean, I love Sakura, but she keeps doing stuff without telling me! Plus, I don't think I can sleep on that couch one more night."
"Yeah, I love Sasuke-kun too, but I'm still mad. How should we compromise?"
Temari looked over her notes.
"Give me a chance to review everything, and I'll have a solution in a few days." she said. In the meantime, Sakura, let Sasuke sleep with you again, and Sasuke, refrain from letting Tenten back over. Come back in around four days or so."
The couple nodded and left and Temari's plant sprung back to life. There was a knock on her door.
It was…Gaara? Temari didn't even bother to hide her shock.
"Gaara! What are you doing here? Wait…don't tell me you've finally gotten a girlfriend!!!" Her brother shook his head.
"No. But me and someone need counseling."
"Choby and I."
He sat down and placed the Chia-pet on his lap. Temari's mouth hung open.
"Er…so what's the problem…"
"Choby refuses to grow." explained Gaara. "I've done everything I could possibly do to make him happy. I just don't…know if I can go through this anymore…" Temari resisted the urge to laugh.
"Well...what exactly have you done brother…?" Gaara started to look sad.
"I've sang to it and we've gone out for ice cream and watched the Chuunin Exams together, plus a lot of other stuff! I just don't know what do!"
Temari sighed. She should have known.
"Gaara…did you water it?"
"…Well..I gave it sand." Temari chuckled.
"Gaara! Plants don't work that way! You have to give it water and sunlight to make it happy! Not take it places!"
"He's not an 'it'. He's a plant with feelings and dreams! Apologize!" Temari rolled her eyes. She got on her knees so she could be at eye-level with…him. What she would do to make Gaara happy…"I'm sorry."
"Good." said Gaara nodding. "…So all I have to do is water him?
"Yeah, I think so…"
"See you at dinner."
"…Right. Come come Choby, it's time to go. And Temari..."
"I want the Chia-gourd for my birthday."
He and 'Choby' left while Temari started to pack her things. She looked who she had on the books for tomorrow.
The Uzumaki's? What trouble could they possible have?
A/N: Please review and tell me if I should continue or not. Thank you for all the support you've given me in the past few days. Lol, if you didn't get the salad joke, go read my other story, Infiltrating Neji Hyuuga! Anyways, thanks you for reading, and tell me whether I should keep going!