Title: A Dagger-Wielding Bank Robber
Rating: G (for Garbage, I'm afraid), or K if you prefer.
Warnings: Mild domesticated violence. (Nothing too scary, it is G-rated after all…)
Notes: I am well aware that this is completely pointless and nonsensical. It was meant as a writing exercise and thus isn't terribly serious. Reviews are, naturally, always accepted, however don't feel obligated to go all out in the concrit department on this if you've got better things to do.
That said, I've used this as a warm-up for A More Complicated Puzzle so hopefully something good will come out of it for anyone interested.
Oh, and one more thing: it's not betaed. Many, many appolloghies for the inconwenience. (With appolloghies to Blackadder too).
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Yugi was having a terrible day. He didn't usually have terrible days, and he found that it seemed as if the universe was determined to make up for this by occasionally throwing him an exceptionally spectacularly bad day — as if just to remind him that it could. He'd spent most of the previous evening trying to do his homework, and instead being pleasantly distracted by the attentions of his Yami, who refused to be discouraged. Though Yugi revelled in the persuasive personality that Yami had to offer, he found that the fact that Yami had at one time been a Pharaoh, and thus the most important person in Egypt, and subsequently highly used to having things go exactly his way, he was a little hard to say no to. Little, was perhaps an understatement. Yami was about as close to impossible to refuse as one could possibly get.
So, Yugi's homework was left undone. Something which came back to bite him in the arse rather spectacularly the next day, when the teacher gave him a detention for not having completed his essay (ironically, on the history of Egypt of all things), and so Yugi didn't manage to escape from the school until a good hour after everyone else. It was only then that he realised he'd promised his grandpa that he'd watch the shop. So, he ran all the way home, burst into the kitchen shouting apologies and grovelling for forgiveness. And, it was only then that he remembered that he'd promised to watch the shop tomorrow. So, after nearly coughing up a lung from dashing faster than a professional sprinter home, Yugi set about doing his chores.
Needless to say he was not a very big fan of laundry. In fact, he hated it with a passion. So, gathering up all the dirty underwear that he, his grandfather and Yami had produced, he bunkered down and prepared for the worst. It was then that the washing machine gave an irritated 'thump'. Yugi jumped back, sending Yami's dark magician boxers flying, and ducked behind the large container of laundry detergent. He cast the washing machine a terrified look. Thunk, went the machine again. Carefully, Yugi crept forward, wondering, absurdly, just what kind of devious spirit would be haunting a washing machine of all things. Thunk, Yugi dashed back behind the laundry detergent, and began to call for backup.
"YAMI!" he screamed. Within seconds there was a loud thunk from above Yugi's head, followed by a bang , followed by a "who left this Ra-damned bag in the hallway?" and a thump, thump, thump… thunk, as Yami jumped up off the couch, dashed to the staircase (knocking over Yugi's discarded schoolbag), cursed loudly, and dashed down the stairs, skidding to a halt next to Yugi and starting with a rushed, "where is it?"
Yugi pointed with one shaking finger at the washing machine.
Yami gave him a quizzical look, then jumped when the machine gave another loud and defiant thunk. Slowly, he crept forwards, then, grabbed the handle and seized it, pulling the door open. Yugi screamed in terror and ducked back even farther behind the detergent. Yami looked momentarily like he wanted to join him. And, when he looked inside the washing machine, he was slightly startled to see a rather murderous-looking cat.
Yami was able to say "oh, look a c—" before the homicidal feline, in an effort to be free of it's washing prison, clawed his face to pieces.
On the bright side, Yugi got to heal Yami, which involved lots of time spent in bed and comfort food. Yami's face returned to normal eventually, and in the mean time, (as he was convinced that he couldn't possibly leave the house looking as he did), Yugi resigned himself to keeping him company.
Nobody was sure how the cat actually got into the washing machine in the first place. But it remains, to this day, the infamous story that both Yugi and Yami recount with great relish, now made out to be a daring adventure, involving several brushes with death and a dagger-wielding bank robber. Should you ever be fortunate enough to hear their version of events, you will, no doubt, be most amused to find that it contains no mention of felines at all. Know now, that you know better. The washing machine still has the scratch marks to prove it.
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