A/N: I don't really write oneshots...this is my first try. NaruHina is my fav. pairing, so I thought why not? I really don't know what kind of oneshot this is...fluff maybe? Ah well, it doesn't matter. Anyways, here it is and I hope you like it.
I Can't Love...Can I?
I love her.
I've tried my best to deny it, to tell myself it isn't true. But I can't lie to myself anymore.
I love her.
I've always known, but I couldn't believe it, it couldn't be true. I hid my feelings by throwing myself at the feet of a girl I knew would never accept me no matter what I did. Others think I'm stupid for groveling at her feet like this, and you know what? So do I. I could care less about her in truth, and the way she repeatedly hates and hurts me only sends me further in love with my pale eyed goddess.
She's the only one who had ever been nice to me, the only one to ever see the true me.
But no longer can the facade go on...the mask is broken. I can't hold it back any longer...
After I saw her lying on the ground, nearly killed by her own family my rage grew. It was all I could do to keep from beating him then and there, but I will...believe me, he will not get away with hurting her. He was lucky his teammate stopped me...otherwise I would have taken him down then and there, tournament or no tournament. I could care less that they were supposed to fight...that last attack wasn't necessary.
The image of her beautiful face, blood trickling from her mouth as she lay there, struggling to stay awake is burned into my memory. I never want to see her so hurt again...
It was then and there that I was forced to stop lying to myself, then and there I finally admitted to myself that she was the one I love.
I can so vividly remember her words to me as she lay there, looking at me.
"Naruto-kun? Did I change? Maybe...just a little bit?" she asked me before falling into unconsciousness. Even now, years later, I can clearly remember that look of determination as she fought, her word...her face.
I wonder...does she remember me? Is she still there? Does she know I love her? Should I tell her?
Hopefully she does remember...she has to be there...no she doesn't know...yes.
I'm going to tell her.
"What about the demon?" I ask myself.
"You can't love...no one can love you. You have the demon in you. You can't afford to love. She'll never love you when she learns of it. You aren't allowed to love. No one loves you...no one..." I told myself.
I sighed as I thought it over.
"It may be true...maybe no one loves me...maybe no one ever will..." I uttered quietly unaware that I was speaking my thoughts, or that my sensei could hear me. If I had known I might there is no way I would have continued.
I look up from my thoughts to see that long gone sight, a sight I hadn't seen in two and half years now.
Konohagakure, The Village Hidden in the Leaves. My hometown...and the home town of the one I love. I turned to my sensei. He may be a perverted idiot, but he is still one of the strongest ninja I know. I gave a small smile as I looked to the place. My sensei was giving me a knowing look, but I didn't know that. Only one thing was in my mind. My pale eyed goddess.
We trudged forward, getting closer and closer to the village we both called home so long ago
"But that doesn't matter...I won't know if I never try." I said to myself as I finished my thoughts from earlier.
I dragged myself out of my bed, unprepared to face yet another day without him.
I sighed as I thought of him.
To everyone else he was a blonde idiot, a boy who was constantly doing or saying something stupid. To me he was a poor boy, with no one to love him, no one to tell him that everything was alright, that they would make it better. Everyone else saw his stupid attitude, but I saw beyond that. He hides behind his smile, but he can't fool me.
I've watched him for too long, seen him too much to not be able to see his pain, the loneliness in his eyes. What everyone always takes for him being rude, I can tell that it is just that he really and truly doesn't know how to act. With no one to raise him since he was little how could he? I was always willing to help him, to be there for him when that pink haired girl he was always crushing on wasn't.
It was hard to think of him. Every time I did it brought a pain to my heart...he's been gone so long. Two and a half years now he's been gone, and each day the knowledge of his loneliness hurts me even more. I want to tell him so badly...but every time I try my shyness gets in the way. I need to tell him...
I love him.
His face is always in my mind, so filled with determination and courage, despite what he had lived through, what he had been forced to endure. I had to fight the urge not to break something as I thought of how he was treated by his own village...and for such a stupid reason too.
As I thought of these things I looked to my calendar and was surprised when I saw the date.
Today was the day he was to be back. I smiled as I threw on my things, making sure I was presentable.
It was time to get rid of this accursed shyness and outright say my feelings, the thing I had been holding back for so long. I let out the breath of air I had been holding in as my face took on a determined look.
I was going to tell him today, whether or not his crush for the pink haired kunoichi was still there.
"Naruto..." I said, unaware of my listening father and cousin.
Jiraiya looked down to his apprentice, the blonde haired idiot...or at least normally he was an idiot. He supressed a sigh as he thought over his life and compared it to that of Naruto's. Sure his had been better, and sure he was better at his age than this idiot was now, or at least he liked to think so, but they seemed the same when it came to love. Always loving the one they couldn't have, hiding the pain behind that stupid smile. He watched as Naruto grew quieter and quieter the closer they got to home.
"He's probably thinking of that pink haired girl..." Jiraiya thought with a frown. No matter what Naruto said, did or thought it was easy for Jiraiya to see that she would just never see Naruto in a romantic sense. Suddenly his apprentice spoke to himself, but Jiraiya managed to catch it.
"It may be true...maybe no one loves me...maybe no one ever will..." the jinchuuriki said to himself as they walked. Jiraiya grimaced at that thought. The boy had always been alone, and it was true that with that demon in him it was more than likely no one would ever love him...a fact made all the more clear by their obvious hatred of him. They walked on in silence towards the giant walls of Konoha.
"But that doesn't matter...I won't know if I don't try..." Naruto said quietly, again talking to himself. This confused Jiraiya to no end. He did try...at least he was pretty sure he did. What else would all of those comments on Sakura being smart and pretty, or those repeatedly shot down request for dates be?
"Hinata..." came a near silent whisper. Jiraiya's eyes widened. The Hyuga heiress that was always following him? Jiraiya gave a small smile.
"I guess he isn't that like me after all..." the perverted hermit thought reflecting back on all his comments to Tsunade and her sharp retorts while chuckling.
Hiashi raised an eyebrow as he looked to his nephew. 'Naruto?' he mouthed to the young Hyuga. Neji merely shrugged before replying with a shrug and a mouthed, 'The boy she has liked since the Academy.' His uncle was silent for a bit as they watched Hinata leave the Hyuga Clan Estates.
"He was the one who made her fight so hard against me in the Chuunin Exams. The one who beat me in the Chuunin Exams." Neji said before walking off and leaving his uncle to his own thoughts.
"Have I been too hard on her? Is he the one who will make her strong?" Hiashi said to no one in particular, having no real problems with Naruto himself. Hiashi went back to his room, muttering to himself, but if anyone had taken the time to listen they may have heard, 'That blonde idiot better give me strong grandchildren.'
I walked into the village, and looked around as I took a deep breath. Nothing had changed...except that Granny Tsunade's face had been put on the mountain. I tried my best to act calm and collected, but truthfully my heart felt like it was about to burst from how fast it was beating. I gave the pervy sage a quick 'See you later!' before taking off to find my angel, my goddess...Hinata Hyuga. I checked all over the village, but eventually I was forced to postpone my search when my stomach growled in hunger.
I sighed as I went to my favorite food place in town...Ichiraku Ramen. I went into the little stand and sat down without even looking around.
"N-naruto-kun?" came a familiar voice, beautiful and shy.
I turned only to see the village's number one beauty, the pale eyed goddess that I worship, Hinata Hyuga.
stuttered, and as I did I was already mentally berating myself. Why
did I have to stutter?!
I ran throughout the village, trying my best to find my one and only the 'blonde idiot' as everyone put it. Nowhere I looked could I find him, so I decided to wait at Ichiraku. It had been two and a half years, and knowing Naruto ramen would be the frist thing he thought of. I giggled slightly at that before entering the stand, and was surprised to find the blonde wasn't there. I sat down and greeted Teuchi, the old man who ran the ramen stand, and his daughter who helped him, Ayame. I was just about to order something when I heard someone enter and sit down next to me without looking around. I turned to find...Naruto-kun. I blushed slightly, but after a couple seconds I managed to fight it back.
"N-naruto-kun?" I said.
"H-hinata?" he said, stuttering slightly.
The two sat staring at one another for a moment before Naruto finally started the conversation.
"So...how have you been?" he asked nervously, making Hintata wonder what could possibly make him nervous.
"I've been good...depressed but good..." Hinata answered truthfully, for some strange reason feeling as if she could take on the world. There wasn't even a slight stutter, or a blush crossing her face.
"Depressed? That's not good. Why?" he asked in an interested tone.
"Ano...you...were gone?" she told him with as much courage as she could muster, trying her best not to blush at her revelation.
Naruto looked a little shocked before taking on a happy look.
"You missed me?" he teased, making the pale eyed girl blush.
"H-hai..." the Hyuga heiress confessed. Naruto only smiled all the wider as he leaned for ward slowly to her ear. Hinata could feel her heart beating, faster and faster...
"I missed you too Hinta-chan..." he whispered in her ear. Her blush darkened and her vision swam, it was all she could do to not faint. Deciding that she might as well get it over with she finally admitted her own feelings to him.
"N-naruto-kun? I-I l-l-love y-you." she stuttered out, her voice shyer than ever. Naruto leaned forward and kissed her. Hinata kissed him back, but her shyness struck eventually, and as her vision faded she managed to hear Naruto say one last thing as he chuckled.
"I love you too. Was that really so hard?"
As Hinata fainted a smile graced her beautiful face. Naruto gave her a smile as he wiped a strand of hair out of her face before lifting her bridal style to take her home.
A/N: AND that's a wrap! I hope you guys liked it...