A/N: Yeah, yeah, this situation may be highly unlikely but it's still amusing nonetheless. :
Pairing: Canon is not love. SasuTen.
Uchiha Sasuke could not believe this. He was an elite ninja, the genius of his generation, a living legend worthy enough to challenge the status of the three Sannin. And here he was, standing in the middle of the produce aisle of the grocery store, about to tangle with a very pregnant and very emotional Yamanaka Ino. Shit.
The purple clad kunoichi was barring his escape, fists clenched, shopping basket discarded as she stood trembling in front of him. Angry tears were starting to pool in her eyes as she grilled the Lone Uchiha with the glare of death.
"You took the last tomato," she hissed, not unlike a certain creepy Sannin Sasuke had trained under. "Che, shouldn't you be on bed rest or something? I can't believe Neji let you walk about like this in your state," Sasuke deadpanned, trying to buy himself some time as he began to slowly back away, unwittingly clutching his tomatoes closer. Ino glowered as she stepped closer, poking him in the chest with her index finger – hard.
"I wanted tomatoes and I was walking up to the bin as you took all of them!" she shouted, her voice rising louder with each word, "hand it over! I'm the pregnant one here!"
Sasuke bristled – so what if she was pregnant? She had come several seconds too late as he bagged his necessary, no mandatory tomatoes. It was a dog eat dog world out there and if she was too late then that was too bad for her. Had it been something else he would have let the eight month pregnant woman have it, but not his fucking tomatoes.
"Is something wrong here?" drawled the cool and indifferent tone of Hyuuga Neji. Sasuke eyed the Hyuuga with irritation, "yeah, your woman is being unreasonably pregnant right now – can't you get a hold of her feeding? She looks like Barney!" he snapped. Ino stamped her foot and a few tears leaked down her cheeks, "don't treat me like I'm some child! I'm not invisible!" she shrieked. And then … she attacked.
Sasuke had hardly blinked before he felt Ino grab handfuls of hair – and yank with all her might. "You asshole! Take that back! Neji make him apologize!" she screamed over Neji's protests, and Sasuke's yelps. Between the tug of war between for his hair and Neji's attempts to pry Ino off him, Sasuke felt as if he were being slowly scalped.
"What the hell is going on here?!" a clear voice cut through the pandemonium. Ino let go, and Sasuke whipped his head up to see his wife frowning at them, hands on her hips. He let a smile spread across his face – he had never been so relieved in his entire life, and he didn't mind that he looked like a coward as he darted behind her.
Tenten scowled at Ino and Neji, "what are you doing to my husband?!" she yelled before turning to grab Sasuke's face in her hands. "What the hell are you – thugs?!" she cried as she pointed to a bleeding cut on Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke couldn't help but milk the moment, "Tenten it really hurts!" he pouted as he proffered his cheek towards her.
Tenten turned to Ino with blazing eyes, "I don't hit girls, much less pregnant women, but damn! How would you like it if I hit your husband!?" she yelled, springing at Neji. Grabbing fistfuls of Neji's hair, Tenten quickly wound his long tresses around her hands and began pulling viciously. Neji screamed like a girl and Ino yelled like a banshee, but none roared louder than the furious Tenten. Sasuke stared in awe of his wife who had come to his defense.
"Ouch!" Sasuke whined as Tenten dabbed on the ointment none too gently, "be careful!"
Tenten studied her husband, "you're lucky that I happen to like your face, otherwise I might have just left you to Ino's mercy – that vicious harpy." Sasuke grumbled, "no one told you to go attacking Neji." Tenten glowered at him and pressed down a bit too firmly on the cut, letting up when he yelled.
Sasuke scooted further into the couch, "thanks for beating up Neji though," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. Tenten smiled as she leaned forward and kissed his other cheek, "it's my duty as your wife to protect you from getting beat up by a girl." She giggled when he glared at her and kissed him again, "don't worry Sasuke, I'd brawl with anyone for you." Sasuke smiled.
A/N: I love Ino, so don't get the wrong idea, it's just that pregnant Ino seemed like an amazing choice – you know she could totally eat Sasuke alive if she wanted to. ;)
C'mon girls, wouldn't you brawl with other girls for this bishie? I certainly would try to protect Sasuke Wasuke with all I got… teehee.