Author: Furyan Goddess
Title: Taylor is a Blind Fool
Rating: R for language and content
Disclaimer: I do not own Taylor Reese or Matty.
Summary: A roommate has had enough of Taylor's sexcapades.
Archive: Ask first.
Feedback:In the thread. Let me know what you think.
Author's Notes: Written 1st person from the OFC POV as if she were talking to Taylor. Beta'd by Helen :)
I can hear you, night after night, fucking some skank you've only known a few hours. Some bitch you've picked up at the bar you work at. Why do you have to bring them here where I can hear? Where I can smell their cheap overwhelming perfume.
Yeah, I know it's half your place too, but you should have a little respect to me. I don't bring men around and fuck them 'til all hours of the night. Well, maybe that's the problem. Maybe I should. Maybe I should fuck some guy right in front of you. Maybe then, you'd notice me.
Taylor Reese. You are one stupid, blind motherfucker. I sit and pine for you, knowing that you deserve better than you let yourself have, but you never see me. I'm just the girl you live with. The one that splits the rent and food bill. The one that's alright to sit around and have a beer with, or watch a movie. A buddy.
Well, Taylor. I ain't your buddy. I don't have a cock between my legs that I can stroke when I hear you cum in the other room. I have a heart and a soul that dies a little bit more when you roar with release as I hug my tear stained pillow.
Well no more.
You finally broke me, Taylor. Are you happy? I can't do this anymore. I can't look at you and pretend anymore.
You stumble out of your bedroom, just after noon and rub your eyes. At least you had the decency to wash the whore's scent off you. That's good, now I won't throw up when you get near me. You trip on something on the floor and looked down and blink at it, trying to make some sense out of it.
You raise your eyes to meet mine and I somehow hold your gaze. It's pure pride that has me holding my ground. It's all I have left and my supply is quickly waning.
Your face is serious when you speak, "Going somewhere?"
"Yes. I'm moving out." I tell you simply and hope you'll just let me go without a fight. Dreaming that you'll beg me to stay and confess your undying love. I sniff and hand you an envelope.
"This is rent for the next two months so you won't be short."
You look at it and then back at me and scowl. "I don't need your fuckin' money."
I stiffen, "Fine. I'll keep it and you can go to hell."
It kills me to say that but I'm sure you're the devil in disguise. You are walking sin and sex but it's never aimed my way. Always just out of reach, teasing me. Killing me.
"What the fuck did I do? Where the fuck are you going?"
I scoff, "If you don't know by now, Taylor, it's not worth me explaining." I reached down to pick up the bag at your feet and stand, "I'll miss you."
You grab my arm before I can turn toward the door and I feel the shock of it all the way though my body. I love your hands. So strong and powerful and when you use your almost inhuman strength on me, I turn to jelly.
Not this time. I jerk my arm away, turn and get two steps before you speak.
"Why are you leaving me?" Your voice is quiet. Confused.
Oh God! You sounds hurt. I don't want to hurt you, Taylor, but I can't hurt myself any longer.
I swallow, take a deep breath and pour my heart out to the only man I've ever loved. It's my one shot. My last change to make you understand but I can't face you while I do it. I don't have that kind of strength to see the amusement in your eyes.
"Taylor. How long have we known each other?"
"That's right. And in those two years, how many men have you seen me with?"
You're quiet for a few moments and I can almost hear your brain working, "None. No wait, one."
I nod silently, "That's right. One, when I first moved in and we broke up a few weeks later. Do you know why?"
"'Cause he was an asshole?"
I smiled at that. "He was an asshole but he hadn't started out that way. He turned into one after I met you and fell head over heels for you." I sighed, "For two years now, Taylor, I've been holding out hope that you would see me more than a drinking buddy or roommate. Night after night, I hear you having sex with women as I lay awake and wish it were me you were with.
"I can't do it anymore. I can't face another night alone in bed while you make some other woman scream your name."
I feel tears scolding my eyes now and blink. The pad of your thumb brushes them away before you raise my chin until our eyes meet.
"You deserve better than me."
I nod my head in agreement, "I know I do but you can't help who you love."
You seem very taken back by the statement and I wonder if a woman has ever confessed love to you in your whole life. Do you really feel you are unlovable? Who broke you?
"Baby," You say as you step closer to me and I have to pull back.
"Don't, Taylor. Don't touch me unless you plan on changing. I will not share you. I will not sit at home and wonder where you are, who you're with. I've had enough pain."
You drop you hand, "What do you want from me?"
"All or nothing, Taylor. The choice is yours."
With that, I leave and you let me go. I knew you would. We need time apart to think. I need time to heal.
I held up well, until Matty hugged me and told me what a blind fool you are. Then I crumbled.
I just walked away from the love of my life and now I have nothing.
Not your lingering scent.
Not the hope that someday you'll see the light.
Three weeks later:
Matty got me a job working at one of his bars. Not the one that you work at, thank the sweet Lord. I'm a bartender and a damn good one, I must say. I get lots of tips and with the money, we could have really fixed your place up nice. It's too bad really. I miss your house, it always felt like home to me.
I still think of you everyday. I still miss you. Everything about you. Well, except the strange pussy you brought into the house every night but I'm trying to get over that.
Jimmy got knifed tonight and Matty just broke the news to me that you'll be filling in. Shit. This will be the first time I've seen you since that morning. The first time I've talked to you.
I have no idea how my body or heart will react but I'm about to find out.
A man at then end of the bar is calling me so I mosey over and get him his drink and let him flirt for a bit. He said something funny and I throw my head back and laugh. You must have walked in then because I didn't see or hear the door open but I can feel your eyes on me now.
I ignore you.
It's my only chance of surviving the night.
"Hey Taylor!" the man yells and before I can stop myself, I turn my head. It's a normal response, looking at what someone is yelling about. Innate human curiosity perhaps but you aren't looking at him. You're looking right at me.
Your eyes burn and strip me naked more than your hands ever have. It's hard to break eye contact but for my own sanity I do and quickly decide that the shelves of the bar are filthy and need cleaning. Right now!
I scrub and clean in-between pouring perfectly headed drafts and a few shots of whiskey. All the while, you eyes follow me. You never speak, which for you isn't that unusual but when it came to me, you always seemed a bit more open.
You're eyes are unreadable when I do glance at you. Are you angry? Boiling with rage or ice cold?
The last man leaves and as soon as the door closes, you lock it and your eye finally change. They blaze at me and make my heart pound.
It's the first time I've ever been afraid while you were around.
I clear my throat, "I've got to wash these glasses," I squeak out before I try to duck in the back.
"Don't you fucking run away from me again." Your voice is a sharp command that makes me tremble.
"Taylor," I whisper. It's the only thing I can get out as you close the distance between us. You remove the dirty glasses from my numb fingers and grab me by the shoulders.
"Do you have any idea what these last few weeks have been like?"
What can I say? Yes? It's been pure hell without you.
"It's been hell, Baby. Hell. You drop a bomb on me like that and then disappear. You won't return my calls and Matty, the fuck, has been doing a good job hiding you from me."
"Don't get mad at Matty. He was only doing what I asked him to."
"Don't get mad at him? He's a fuckin' traitor. He knew I wanted to see you but he wouldn't let me."
"I didn't know anyone could keep you from doing what you wanted to do, Taylor."
You sucked in a deep breath through your nose and let it out slowly, trying to breathe away your anger. "He said you needed time."
"I did. I still do. I'm not ready to be your friend again, Taylor. I don't know if I'll ever be."
Your eyes glitter at me as you frown, "I don't want to be your friend, sweetheart."
"Then what do you want?" I asked breathlessly. Afraid to hope, to guess at the glint in your eyes.
"I want you to be my woman. Only you. All those other women, they were me denying myself you."
"Is that suppose to make me feel better?"
Your hands slide off my shoulders as you sake your head, "No, but it's the truth."
"And what if you want to deny yourself again?"
"Not going to happen."
"You say that now,"
"It's not going to happen. Come home, Baby, where you belong."
"No," I tell you and you blink at me.
"What do you mean, no?"
"I will not sleep in the same bed as all the other women."
You laughed and let out a breath, "I'll burn the fucking bed. They never meant anything to me. It was always your face I saw."
"Then why, Taylor? Why not me?"
"You deserve better."
"You can't help who you love."
"Amen to that. I love you, Baby. Do you still love me?"
"I'll always love you, Taylor."
You pull me into your strong arms and I find myself once again enveloped in your scent. How I missed it. How I've longed for it. Right now, all I want to do is feel you skin against mine and taste you.
"Come on, lets go home. We'll stay in your room."
"You still have all my stuff?"
You grin sheepishly, "Yeah. I've been sleeping in your room since you walked out on me."
I raise my brow, "Just you?"
"Yeah, Baby. Just me, my hand and your tear stained pillow."