A/N: This is a dark fic. You are warned. This one could be S3 if you ignore everything that has happened so far except for the changes in Sam that we've all noticed, along with Ruby's presence. Should be considered AU although the deal still exists, because Joshua is in it. Also because Sam hasn't lost all of his abilities like he thinks he has. Again as a warning, this one is dark and may rattle some of you. Promise it's not death fic. Also, alcohol and sedatives do not make great bedfellows.

Hey, Sammygirl1963: You helped me so much on this fic that I've decided to give it to you. Thanks for being a softer wall than the one I usually bounce my head off of while searching madly for ideas! Enjoy the read and I'll talk to you soon.


Story Notes: The name used for the demon was pulled from Bhairavi (Bai RAH vih) literally means "fear inspiring" (interesting name for a kid, huh?)

Also the name she used for Ruby: Aindri (EYEN dree) came from the same site and means "the powerful" And Avinashini Yamala (uh vih nah shih nee yah MA la): same site- combination of two names meaning "indestructible and twin"( more there if you read the end of the fic. All of these words are Sanskrit and used because they sounded old and appropriate.

Enjoy and Review!

Psyche- defined as: the human mind as the center of thought and behavior. (Webster's) Sometimes it can be thoroughly messed with. (Darksupernatural)


Chapter 1: Fighting the Fear

"Sammy, what the hell has gotten into you lately?" Dean asked angrily, glancing at his brother before shifting his eyes back to the road and taking the curve smoothly in the big black car.

"What the hell do you think is wrong with me Dean? I'm working my ass off sending hundreds of demons back to hell and playing babysitter to my big brother who doesn't give a damn what he puts himself through because he thinks he has nothing to lose! Damn you Dean. You jump in front of every bullet, you get thrown into every wall and you shield me from every set of claws with no concern for yourself! I knew you were reckless before but it's like you don't want to live long enough for me to find a way out for you."

Dean pulled the car over to the side of the road with a squeal of tires. The car behind him on the two lane highway passed them with horn blaring. Dean turned to glare at his little brother. "Do you know why I take every hit?" He asked quietly, "Huh?"

Sam returned the glare. "Because you don't give a damn anymore!"

"No! Because I don't want you hurt. Because I don't want to take the chance of losing you again. I can't do it, I won't! I won't let something kill you again. I have nothing else to give for you and there's no way in hell I'm gonna live out my last days without you by my side. We're fighting a war, Sam. I'm not gonna sit on the sidelines and let you return those demons to hell by yourself. Not gonna happen, so just drop it!"

"No! No way in freakin' hell am I gonna just let this go. Damnit, are you trying to run me off, Dean? Hell, you don't even act like my brother anymore! You have become this… stranger to me and I hate it!" Sam's voice broke and the anger drained out of him. "I hate it. I'm losing you even before your time runs out. You worry about me going dark side, Dean. I can feel the evil pulling at me, ripping me to shreds and there's nothing I can do about it, because my strength has become a stranger to me! So if you want me to go dark side, just keep pushing." Sam's eyes flared again with anger and he pushed open his car door with a squeak. Clamoring out, he stalked to the shoulder of the road and peered down over the steep embankment behind the guide rail.

Dean was out of the car and rushing up behind him. He grabbed Sam's right arm and spun him to look him in the eye. "I wanna know what the hell your problem is!"

Sam just glared. "You know what? I. Am. Not. Doing. This. I'm tired of trying to get through to you, man!" Sam turned away from Dean's angry face and looked at the steep drop again. Dean spun him once more, shoving him into the guide rail. His hands, fisted in Sam's collar tightly, were the only things that kept Sam from toppling down the rock strewn slope.

"You trying to get through to me?! That's a freakin' laugh. Sam, you shot a twelve year old girl back there! You didn't even blink!"

"She was a demon, Dean!"

"No! She was possessed by a demon! There is a difference!"

"She was hurting you!"

"We could have exorcised her."

"Dean, she had you pinned to a wall with three knives, ready to throw the fourth at your throat. I had to stop her!"

"Yeah well, I couldn't help that a demon possessed the youngest knife thrower in the circus, but you still shouldn't have shot her in the head with the Colt, Sam!"

"I am done with this conversation, Dean!" Sam got back into the Impala after striding away from the guide rail and brushing past Dean. Dean watched Sam through the side window and shook his head, worried that something was wrong with his brother. Dean got into the Impala's driver's seat and fired the engine. Pulling out with a shower of flying gravel and a squeal of tires he made short work of crossing the border into Iowa.

Dean found them a motel a couple hours later. "Get some sleep Sam." He said as he stopped outside the motel room but didn't kill the engine.

Sam pushed the door open with a squeak and grabbed his duffle bag and laptop out of the backseat. "Where are you going?"

"Out." Dean put the car in gear, not even waiting for Sam to close the door. He started down the road, punching the gas when Sam was clear of the car and allowing the forward momentum to slam the door with a bang. Sam went into the room and slammed the door behind him, furious at Dean. Sam's bag went sailing across the room to land on then fall off of his usual bed with a thump. He heard the door open behind him and it crossed his mind that Dean had changed his mind. He turned at the sound and locked gazes with Ruby.

"What the hell do you want? I've only been here for five minutes and you found me already." Sam sighed and sat down on his bed, the anger leaving his body.

"I could find you in heaven Sam, although I doubt you'll ever be there." Ruby smiled sweetly. Sam glared at her.

"What. The. Hell. Do. You. Want?" He said, enunciating every word with deadly menace.

"I need to warn you. This town is dangerous. There's something here that I can't fight just yet. You won't be able to either. I suggest you get outta Dodge while you can Sam."

"What's in this town? Is Dean in danger? Damn it, he's out there alone."

"Get out of this town Sam. Go now. I'll find Dean and get him out. Something is after your spot on the throne and nothing is gonna stop it."

"I am not leaving without Dean! No way am I gonna trust you to get him out." Sam quickly shouldered his duffle bag and left the room, walking quickly along the road in the direction Dean had sped off in. Ruby caught up to him, walking quickly by his side, nearly running to keep up.

"Sam, this town isn't safe. That's why I'm here. To get you and Dean the hell out!"

"I'll find him and then we'll get out, okay?"


Dean had pulled into the bar parking lot fifteen minutes ago and was already on his third shot of Whiskey and his second beer. The clear bottle, nearly full of rich amber liquid, sat close by his right hand, which absently drummed on the bar top. He felt the presence beside him before he actually saw her. She put a well manicured hand on his leather clad arm.

"Looks like you're havin' a rough night, Sugar."

Dean snorted, "Ya think?" He downed the shot in one gulp and quickly poured another one, while still wincing at the burn that went all the way from his throat to his toes. Her hand caressed his worn leather jacket and Dean finally turned to face her. His eyes lit up in appreciation of the long, slightly wavy dark brown hair, striking blue eyes and lush pink lips. His eyes stayed on those lips as he watched them move.

"You wanna go somewhere and talk?"

"Yeah, I think I do." Dean hammered back that last shot as he pulled a twenty from his money clip and put it on the bar. He reached for her hand and the bottle and headed for the door. The woman lagged just behind Dean, still holding his hand. As the door closed behind her, the moon came out from behind a cloud, but Dean didn't notice as her eyes flashed black in the light.