Here is the much-awaited sequel! I got all hyped up into the mood of this story so I am neglecting my other story- Blood Berries- which I said I would post in, to write this. I am sorry to the person I told I would post in Blood Berries on Sunday! I hope you read this and forgive me!
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Ps. I think you're all clever enough to realize that the words in italics are a letter, seeing as how it says 'Dear Bella…' at the top Just giving you a head's-up!
I'm so sorry; I can't even begin to express it. With each breath I feel pain- your pain- the pain I caused you. And the guilt, knotting my insides, and the sorrow and regret. I know this apology changes nothing, but I wanted to explain.
Now is the time to tell you everything.
I can't control my vampire urges; just like you are now learning you can't with yours. And my dead heart throbs when I think of the pain I caused you in turning you into a vampire. It is unimaginable pain, and affects every cell. I remember when Carlisle changed me.
But I'll start from the beginning. When Carlisle tested my venom later, he found traces of rabies. That is an explanation for the massive changes in character and strength that I underwent after hunting with Jasper. I think it may have been the bear I drank from, but I can't be certain. I am sorry for all the times I scared you, and all the times I betrayed your trust. I know my actions caused you great pain and I am forever shamed by them.
I can't explain why I ran that day. I have no reason for it, and I can't even remember what I was thinking. It must have been an effect of the rabies because under normal circumstances I would never have acted that way. And I am sorry it went so far that you had to drive out after me.
I am not sure if you remember, but you were almost in a car crash. I couldn't get you out of the car in time and you wouldn't take my hand when I could have saved you. I don't blame you for that, because my actions were hardly going to inspire trust in you beforehand. But I got into the car; I braced myself against the dashboard, and enveloped you in my arms. We both made it through the crash alive.
I pulled your body out of the car once the crash was over, and ran. I couldn't explain to the police why we weren't both dead, so I got out of there fast. The disaster happened it Port Angeles.
I had run down a back alley, and was about to check you over for wounds. But then I breathed in, and the scent of your blood overwhelmed me. I tried to fight it- tried with every ounce of restraint I have- but I wasn't strong enough. I am sorry I couldn't stop myself, and I am even more sorry that I damned you to life as a vampire because of my mistake. I broke your skull, two of your ribs, your leg, and your wrist. With every ounce of me, I wish that that pain could have been transferred to me, instead of to you. I hate myself with a passion that rivals only my love for you.
I thank the stars each morning that Jasper and Emmett made it to us in time. Alice had had a vision of this happening, but had not been in time to prevent it. Emmett and Jasper were almost too late- by the time they pulled me off you; you were shuddering your last breath. I came back to myself at once, and was sick to the stomach at the sight of you, bloody on the pavement. It was all my own doing.
I had no choice. I don't know how I would have lived without you, and I could not think of the pain my heart would suffer if I watched you die. I bit you. And you have every right to hate me. But I couldn't watch you die there right in front of my eyes, so I changed you. You wouldn't stop screaming for three days, and when you woke up, I couldn't bear to see you. I haven't seen your beautiful face since you lay there bleeding on the sidewalk.
I don't know how much you remember of your human life, and of me. I feel the sinking feeling of depression when I think that you might not remember me at all. It hurts more strongly than anything else, the fact that I might have ended our relationship forever. And it was much more than just a relationship. It was love.
I put the lid back on my fountain pen and leant back to reread my lines of elegant script. Satisfied with it, I folded it and slipped it into an envelope, and inked 'Dearest Bella' onto the crisp white paper. I wiped the back of my hand over my eyes, a human habit from when I used to expect tears.
I would put it somewhere where Bella would find it. I couldn't face her to give it to her personally. I couldn't bear to see in her blood red eyes the anger and hatred she must feel for me, couldn't bear to hear the ice in her voice as she spoke, couldn't bear to see loss of the signs of humanity that I had always loved in her. Her rosy cheeks… her frailty and clumsiness… it was like I was mourning her death.
Please tell me what you think of the first chapter in 'Tasting The Wine'!!!
I am so excited to be writing a new story!!!