Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor the quote, "Daddy, we're in Pakistan. Let's sew some soccer balls," but it sure is damn funny.

AN: Yes. Wow. Been a long time hasn't it? Well, my friends, Trippy Bella has returned and is now UNLEASHED! Yes, you heard it before & I'm telling you again; Trippy Bella is being unleashed on the poor, unsuspecting folks of Forks (Haha; folks & Forks only has 1 letter difference oO).

Trippy Bella: UNLEASHED

Chapter One – A Fort of WHAT?

Edward's Point Of View

Bella was insane.

I could only blame myself. Who wouldn't have gone insane after spending most of their time with a family of vampires? We all knew it wasn't healthy, yet we deluded ourselves to think that all would be fine. Why, oh, why?

But even as crazy as she is, she is still Bella. I'll stand by her through this. There had to be a way for her to get better. Psychiatrists…we'll there were probably some of the best in this house. Jasper studied it. I…well I have a better grasp of the human mind than anyone, even if I can't read her thoughts, I still know how minds function.

Either way, I wasn't giving up on my love. My life.

She'd just fallen asleep and that's what brought on these positive thoughts. She looked so calm now. Normal. I could imagine that she was fine; sleeping normally, ready to get up for another normal day of school. Like any human who hasn't come in contact with vampires.

We were going to use the excuse that she was sick and Carlisle was keeping her here for further study and caution, so as not to spread the contagious sickness she'd conceived. It was the best we've got so that no one comes to see her this way.

It was only temporary. We couldn't keep up the sick charade forever. But by then she'd be better. I knew it. She'd have to be. I was praying and hoping she'd be okay.

Hope.

It was a small thing to some. But to those in need, it was a powerful thing that kept you going. It enables you to live your life…existence. Either way.

I sat on the floor by the end of the coach with her head resting on it. Her breathing was even and gentle, reminding me of the reason why I was not giving up on her. Soft eyelashes fluttered, grazing her smooth, pale skin. I smiled at the pure beauty before me and carefully reached out to her peaceful face. My hand lightly caressed her cheek and my smile grew at the exquisite texture. My lips were drawn to her forehead and I placed a loving kiss above her right eyes.

I pulled back and looked down to make sure she was still sleeping soundly. If I hadn't been sitting already, I would have fallen down on my butt in shocked fright; brown eyes gleamed back at me with a mischievous shimmer.

"Bella," I half gasped.

"Hello, Edward." She threw the blanket off herself and stood up, pulling me up next to her.

"Uhhh…how are you feeling?" I was starting to worry as she started to push on my chest, causing me to back up with no where to go except against the wall.

"Fine now that I'm alone with you." One of her lips quirked and her eyes bore into mine.

"Um…well…Bella…" She tilted her head in a questioning way, innocently daring me to deny her.

"BELLA!" Her head snapped toward the interruption.

I sighed in relief as she released me from my embarrassing position. She followed the call to Alice who led her away from me and into the kitchen.

Sinking down into the nearest chair I ran my hand down my face as if to wipe away my stress. This had to be fixed and soon or I was going to break

Alice's Point Of View

My brother better be grateful because that was certainly headed in the wrong direction. My theory is that Bella, since her mind has basically let go, it may have lost its Ego and completely given into its Id and essentially her libido. Stifling a giggle at my poor brother's predicament, I took Bella by the hand and led her into the Kitchen, making sure not to let go of her this time.

She didn't seem as bad as before but I had to be cautious; you never know what can happen with a crazy person! Even before this it was very difficult to predict Bella actions, without my talent of course, because she never chose the 'normal' option. Sometimes she'd even take a path that I wouldn't have even considered as an option. Luckily though, I could always keep track of her if it was significant enough.

I sat down on one of the stools and led Bella to the one across from mine, keeping my grip on her wrists. She was looking at me odd and kept switching angles, reminding me of a curious dog. I smiled awkwardly, unsure of what she was doing.

"You have a booger in your nose," she stated and leaned back against the table casually.

My eyes widened but quickly narrowed skeptically. "Bella, we cannot get boogers." I stated confidently.

"Says who? And who is this 'we'?" She sounded offended like I was cheating on her and having an affair.

"Says me. And this 'we' is vampires. You know that." I couldn't help but look at her strangely.

"WHAT??? YOU'RE A VAMPIRE?" She screamed suddenly, causing several members of my family to run to the entrance of the kitchen. All of then were wondering the same thing; was her memory affected, too?

I felt her hand jerking back a bit so I tightened my grip, determined not to lose her. "Let go of me! You…you VAMPIRE!" She shrieked, stinging my ears just enough to loosen my grip for a moment. That moment was enough for her because in the next she was free and staring at all of us in shock.

"Bella…calm down. It's going to be okay." Carlisle was gently coaxing her towards him with soft hand movements. I thanked God because it seemed to be working as she cautiously inched towards him. The rest of us didn't dare move. Edward wore an expression of pure fear. He must have been thinking that this was finally the day that Bella woke up and realized what she had gotten herself into.

"Yes, Bella. Come here. Everything will work out fine." Carlisle continued as she got closer. Just as she was inches away from him, she bolted.

I heard Jasper curse and the rest of us did so more silently. Edward was still frozen and Emmett slapped him on the back to get him out of his daze. He needed to know that this was not really Bella and that she would not be like this once she was better. "Edward, I know what you're thinking. She will come back. We just have to find her first because she's quite obviously not in her right mind."

He nodded and ran a hand through his hair. Carlisle, seeing his son's distress decided to take charge. "We're all going to look for her. We'll follow her trail and then…we'll think of something because we need to leave as soon as possible."

Everyone agreed and we set off into the forest as fast as possible with all of us.

Emmett's Point Of View

This thing with Bella was going just a little bit too far, no matter how much I enjoyed watching my family struggle with her. She was my sister and I needed to protect her and couldn't very well do that when she was running off into werewolf infested forests.

We had picked up her trail as soon as we were out of the house and quickly followed it into…town. We stopped at the edge of the forest next to the main road. No one dared to move forward anymore, as if staying at this point would mean that Bella had not gone any farther either.

Finally Carlisle stepped forward and we reluctantly followed, now walking at a normal pace as if it was the most normal thing for seven people to randomly exit the forest where there was no path. We still followed the path, our senses alert for her presence and frightened out of our wits to even imagine what kind of havoc Bella could reek in a town full of defenseless humans.

The trail eventually led into Gary's Grocery, the local Grocery store. We all exchanged nervous glances before pushing the door open. The bell above us twinkled, signally our entry and giving away our position.

"Okay, I'll stay at the door. Each of you take an isle, find her and then bring her back to me. Please try to make it look as little like kidnapping as possible." Carlisle directed to us.

With nods of agreement, I made my way down to isle five with the herbs and spices. Cautiously scanning the shelves and displays for any sign of Bella I tried to walk as casually as possible down the isle. When I was done I emerged, grateful she wasn't in my isle and made my way back to Carlisle. Edward and Alice were already there.

"Anything?" Carlisle asked me.

"No. Nothing."

Rosalie, Jasper and Esme came back only minutes later. "There wasn't anything in the store but I'm fairly sure I smelled the trail going through the back door," Jasper told us.

"Okay. Edward you stay here…" He paused to wave and smile at the clerk who was eyeing us suspiciously. "Alice go buy something to make us less suspicious. Esme, please go to the back exit. Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett you come with me to the back."

We left through the front entrance of the store and then through alley to the back. "Jasper, Rosalie, you stay at the exit just incase we don't grab her in time…if she's even out here."

Carlisle and I proceeded forward, eyes moving over the different objects that could be used as hiding places. A sudden rustle brought both our eyes to a flipped over garbage can with a wooden crate next to it and an old lumpy sack. He pointed in that direction and pressed his fingers to his lips. I nodded to show understanding and we both silently made our way to the noises.

I stepped up to the garbage can and gently gave it a tap, my arms out and ready. A loud bark shocked my ears and a brown dog came barreling out of the can. I watched it run down the alley and past Jasper and Rosalie before turning to the crate. I tapped this one in the same way and this time an angry cat hissed at me before scurrying away in the same fashion.

This was the last chance. Poking the potato sack I braced myself for another angry feline. "Potatoes."

I turned around in defeat and then paused…potatoes don't call their own name! I whipped back just in time to see a brown head of hair poke through. Rushing forward, my head collided with Carlisle's and our arms missed Bella by a millimeter.

"SHitt." She bolted passed us and into the back door to the store.

We chased after her, Jasper and Rosalie not far behind.

Once inside we stopped when we found Esme on the floor. "Esme!"

"Don't worry, Carlisle; I was just surprised is all."

He nodded and scanned the store again, seeing no sign of our slippery friend. Rosalie stayed with Esme this time as the three of us went to Edward to see if she had tried to get out the front.

"Find her?" He asked as we approached.

"Does it look like we found her?" Jasper asked irritably.

"Jasper we don't need to fight about it. She didn't try to come through here?" Carlisle asked.

"No."

"Well she came in here so she's somewhere." Carlisle said, exasperation working its way into his voice.

I could see Alice still shopping, pretending to be in deep thought about which brand of crackers was the best. Carlisle and I started out again, Jasper staying to guard the front with Edward. If we did find her, we'd need my strength to try to hold onto her.

Just as we were entering the frozen isle I heard the clerk start to shout; "What do you think you're doing? You can't be doing that!"

We raced to see what was happening because there was no doubt it involved Bella. In isle five, the spices, Bella seemed to be building some sort of wall out of garlic! I almost choked at the irony.

She was trying to pull the clerk behind her wall which was probably about to just under her chin. Her eyes widened when she saw Carlisle and I at the isle and she forcefully pulled the poor guy in with her, both bodies disappearing behind the garlic. I however, was nothing to be afraid of right now because I was on the floor and gasping in my fit of laughter. I heard her whispering behind the wall to the annoyed clerk, "I'm just trying to save you. You wouldn't believe me if I told you from what, so just shut up and cooperate." I was now shaking and rolling because I could only imagine what his face must look like right now.

Bella's head popped up from behind the wall and she narrowed her eyes. "Stay away evil fiends!"

By this time, the rest of them had left their stations to see why I was laughing so hard. Jasper, Rosalie and Alice immediately broke into laughter while Carlisle, Esme and Edward were more stunned and anxious to laugh.

Now we just had to figure out how to get Bella out of her garlic fort without making too big a scene infront of the clerk.

AN: Yeahhh…so here's the first chapter of Trippy Bella: UNLEASHED. Hope its okay.